A/N:
Ugh finally the update is finished. Sorry! Life is hectic. I love you all. Enjoy. Xx

Harry's P.O.V

"Fuck" I mumble to myself as I take the phone away from my ear before I hear her voicemail message. That's the fifth time I've called where she hasn't picked up, I get that she's pissed but I'm fucking freaking out over here. She just left, right in the middle of a monumental fight she just grabbed her bag and ran off to spend the day with the girls at the spa. How can she even be at the spa right now when we're like this? We're supposed to talk things out and sort out our issues, that's what we said we would do, and yet she slams the door behind her.

How could she do that? Fuck, I want to roll my eyes at myself for even asking that question. Of course she left, look at what I've done to her. I will admit that it's messed up to have given her father money to stay away from her and then keep it from her, but I still kind of stand by my decision.

When Frank made that phone call, I was fucking furious at him. How dare he come crawling back after 'ghosting' his daughter that he's essentially re-traumatised and ask me to try and help open their relationship back up again. There was no way in hell I would ever let him do that to her again.

When I asked Claudia if I could marry her daughter, I swore to her that I would protect Elena from anything and anyone if necessary. That I'd take a bullet for her, that I'd never stand by and let her come to any harm. Frank caused harm and damage to Elena's life, so I took care of the problem.

I knew he'd take the money, that's just the kind of disgusting sleaze he is. He hardly even hesitated when I started talking numbers, which only bolstered my belief that I was saving her from a disgusting man who truly only wants to use her for his own gain. And besides, he really is a stupid man, he could have gotten a lot more out of me. Elena is priceless, I would have given him everything I had if that was his price.

The phone quickly vibrates in my hands, but it's not from my girl, it's Mitch.

Mitch
Need your help. Get to mine ASAP.

Fucks sake. I get that he is getting married in two days but I'm dealing with something right now that kind of takes priority. But maybe Elena will leave the spa and go back to Sarah's place and shell be there and we can talk and work it out.  On the off chance that's possible, I pick up my things and head out the door.

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"Hey mate thank fuck you're here" Mitch opens his front door, and steps back to let me in before running a hand quickly through his hair.

"What's wrong?" I ask him with a furrowed brow. I don't know why Mitch is freaking out right now, his text didn't indicate what kind of emergency he needed me for.

"I'm freaking out mate. I haven't written my vows yet and I'm running out of time" He huffs out in frustration as he sits down on the couch and picks up a notebook and pen. As I walk over to sit down on the other couch I can see the only words he's written so far is 'Sarah'.

"Well you're off to a good start, just build off that" I say sarcastically. Mitch rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "You're getting married in two days how have you got nothing?" I ask with a slight chuckle. Mitch works in music, I used to watch him write ballads about a grilled cheese sandwich and holes in socks, how is this a struggle for him?

"I just always figured that it would have plenty of time and that it would be easy just to sit down and write them. But that's not what's happening" Mitch sighs heavily, staring down at the blank paper in front of him.

"You getting cold feet?" I ask seriously. I've never quite seen him this intensely worried before, maybe he doesn't really want to do this.

"I mean, a little." He replies guiltily.

"That's understandable. It's a big commitment, if you didn't have at least some cold feet I'd be worried." I reassure him. Mitch isn't a big commitment guy, he likes to shrug his shoulders and say 'if it happens, it happens'. Doesn't exactly make him a great candidate for life long commitment.

"Did you ever get doubts? Before you proposed to Elena?" He asks as he rubs his hand over his eyes. My heart thuds in my chest, just the mention of her name right now is putting me on edge.

"Of course." I say simply. That's why it took me so bloody long in the end.

"Really?" Mitch asks me, with a shocked look on his face.

"I don't doubt that she's the one for me, I doubt whether I'm the one for her." I say solemnly, more so than ever right about now. Something changed the moment I saw her smile, I feel like I'm both stuck and set free because I have her in my life. And now here I am, still fucking it all up.

"She is a great girl, and you're...well you're you, so I see that." Mitch comments light heartedly. I can't help but chuckle, he's right, I am kind of a nightmare.

"You guys are fighting aren't you?" He asks quietly. I rub my fingers across my knuckles as I frown back at him.

"How did you know?" I ask seriously. Did Elena talk to him? Or Sarah? Is she here right now?

"Because I know you, and somethings just not right with you right now." He answers simply. I nod my head and let out a sigh.

"Yeah, we had a fight." I tell him.

"How bad?" He asks quietly.

"Really bad" I respond.

"What happened?" He probes further.

"I don't want to get too into it. But I kept something from her and drunk me opened his big fat fucking mouth and told her. She confronted me about it this morning and right in the middle of our argument she left for this fucking spa day" I huff as I sag against the seat, running a hand across my temple.

"Yikes. Drunk Harry can be your worst enemy sometimes " Mitch states with a slight sigh.

"Yeah." I agree as Mitch stands up and walks over to his drinks cabinet, taking out two small glasses and filling them each with whiskey.

"Did you cheat on her?" He asks me as he pours the glass. I scoff.

"No, of course not." The thought of being with someone else in that way just seems stupid and repulsive. And I know it's not something that Elena could forgive. I don't know if she can forgive this either.

"Good. Because if you had I would have punched you in the face." Mitch says with a slight chuckle as he picks up the glasses and walks back over to me, stopping in front of me and handing me one of them.

"And if you ever cheat on Sarah I will punch you in the face." I agree before I clink my glass against his and take a welcome sip from the glass.

"I'm glad we keep one another accountable. So this secret, why'd you keep it from her?" Mitch asks as he sits back down on the other couch, tossing the pen and notebook to the side.

"I thought I was protecting her" I mumble in response as I look down into the glass, just so I don't have to look at him while I say it.

"And now?" He probes.

"Now, I see where I went wrong. But I don't know for certain if I would have done it differently." I let out a breath as I speak. I feel awful about the way she found out about it, I didn't even think about her ever finding out that way. I was just so blinded in the moment, I had to get that man out of her life for good, I never even thought about the consequences.

"If she had done it to you, how would you feel?" Mitch asks after taking a sip from his glass. I want to chuckle and tell him he sounds like a therapist and remind him that I hate therapy. But his question gives me pause, what would I do if the roles were reversed.

"Oh if the roles were reversed I would have left her so long ago. She's put up with so much shit that I would never have put up with." I answer honestly. After a moment or two of reflection, I know that Elena would never betray me or hurt me like that. That's not her nature, she's not built like that. But I am. I'm brutal and controlling and it ends up hurting more than helping 9 times out of 10. And my poor love, she seems to feel the burn of it all.

"I don't doubt that. Do you think you guys will be okay?" Mitch asks curiously. I run a hand through my hair. She's ignored my calls all day, she stormed out claiming that she can't even look at me right now and I'm about 95% sure she won't be staying at our place tonight. I don't think the odds are stacked in my favour.

"I think she's gonna leave me" I admit quietly, and I can feel the shift in the air as a feeling of darkness descends upon me. I've really done it this time, this is so much worse than all the other shit I've done. Worse than implying she was a whore at that first charity event, worse than defending Holly, worse than threatening Luke, worse than all of it.

"For real?" Mitch asks in a shocked whisper. I nod my head and drain the rest of the glass.

"Yup. She's going to put on a brave face for the wedding because she wouldn't want to ruin Sarah's big day. But as soon as that's over and we're alone, she's going to end it. She'll hand me back the ring, get on a plane, go back to our home and pack up all of her things. She'll go and stay with her mum or Heather and I'll never see her again. I'll try to get her to talk to me and get her to forgive me but she never will. And I'll be alone." I tell him how I imagine the next few days will go. I've ruined this, and this is what I deserve. I deserve to be left, I deserve to be alone, I deserve this.

"Will you be okay if that happens?" Mitch asks after a long period of silence. I could almost laugh at the thought, will I be okay if the person I love the most in the world leaves me?

"Fuck no." I reply with small chuckle. "You saw me last time" I remind him as I stand and walk over to the drinks cabinet, bring the bottle of whiskey back to the couch and sit back down, helping myself to another glass.

"Yeah that sounds about right. I saw what you were like last time she left. I don't think I've ever seen anyone that devastated." Mitch recalls as I tip some amber liquid into his glass after he slides it over the coffee table towards me. After I left New York and went home to be with my mum, Mitch came to visit and see his own family. I confided in him about what happened between Elena and I, and I broke down. It had just been my birthday, I was with my family, and there was this gigantic hole in my life where she had been and I couldn't ignore it anymore. I had to acknowledge it, and when I did, it was fucking brutal.

"I've seen you cry twice in your life" Mitch begins as he picks his glass back up. "The first time was when we rode our bikes down the hill near school and you fell off and fractured your arm. And the second time was in your mum's backyard last year when you told me Elena had walked out on you" Mitch recalls as he sits back in his seat. I make it a point not to go in too deep with my friends, I don't like to get emotional with friends. But last year I just cracked.

Mitch was home to see his family and I was spending my birthday with my family. He popped over to give me my present and we had a catch up. We went to the backyard and had a beer even though it was fucking freezing and I told him everything; Elena walking out, the letter, how she hadn't answered a single call, all of it. Mum and Gemma had spent the last few days telling me to keep hope alive, that things were going to be just fine and that she would come back to me. But Mitch didn't do that, he just told me how much that sucked and that he was sorry that it happened. And it broke me, it fucking broke me, I cried like a little bitch.

I really thought she would have called on my birthday, or at least not ignored me. I missed her so much, I wanted her back so badly. And while I appreciated what mum and Gemma were doing, trying to get me to think positively and all that, I just wanted to talk about how much it fucking sucked that it was all happening. We talked for hours and it felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders in that time. It was cathartic and therapeutic in a way, and it's what got me through the next few weeks until Elena showed up drunk on my doorstep. When I called Mitch to let him know that Elena and I were back on, he was fucking thrilled for me and also relieved, I think everyone was relieved when Elena came back.

"I remember the feeling. And it's going to be so much worse this time." I lament with a sigh. I can't imagine how it could feel worse but I know it will. The way I feel about her now can't even be compared to how I felt about her back then. Of course I was in love with Elena back then, but it's all so much bigger than that now. We've been planning a future together, and acting upon it too, it's all just so much deeper now.

"So fix it." Mitch informs me with a nonchalant shrug.

"I don't know how I can." I reply with a slight chuckle. The last time I thought I was fixing a problem I paid Elenas father to fuck off out of our lives and apparently that was a bad call.

"You two have been through too much to give up now." Mitch states confidently.

"It's not as easy as that. It's not like it's some stupid fight, it was a massive fight, not like any one we've ever had before." I remind him. He's been with Sarah for so fucking long he should realise that you don't just fall into a romantic relationship that doesn't have its ups, downs and troubles.

"I think you need to have a little faith that this girl loves you more than you realise and that she's not going to want to just give up like that." Mitch replies quickly. It seems he's going with a different tactic than last time.

"I know she loves me, but when I look at her I can see the pain that I cause her. She's exhausted, and I think she's at the end of her rope with me." I sigh. Before she left, when it all came out, it was like I watched the love she had for me leave her eyes. She was devastated, betrayed, shocked that I could have done that to her, how could I do that to her?

"Mate. This isn't the end." Mitch tells me firmly, as though he's some all knowing God. I wish he was, I wish I could believe him.

"How could you know that?" I ask him.

"Because this isn't like last time. Think of Everything you've gone through since then; you became godparents together, she moved back in, you bought her a home, you got engaged. You're not in the same place you were last time. She isn't just your girlfriend, she's your girl." Mitch's words only seem to make it worse. I can recognise that we have since been through so much together, but that doesn't erase what I've just done.

"I don't think that matters." I say with a pathetic shrug and lean forward to refill my glass.

"Of course it does! I never thought you were going to leave that apartment, but a few words from her about how she's never had a garden and you went and bought a home in the suburbs where the hypothetical children she hadn't even agreed to have with you yet could run around outside. You were in a horrific car accident that left her in the hospital for a month, and you never left her bedside. You showered her, you wiped her ass, you helped her to walk again, you stayed up as late as you could just in case she would wake up and need you to comfort her. You would sacrifice anything for her, give up anything to be with her, do anything for her, I can see that when you look at her and I can see it in her eyes when she looks back at you. You both love each other more than life, maybe even more than either of you should. Things are different this time around. Just don't give up." Mitch quickly replies as he waves his hands emphatically.

"I didn't realise how much of a fanboy you were for my relationship" I say with a slight chuckle, trying to lighten to heavy mood in the room. Mitch nods his head and smiles warmly back at me.

"Well I am, big time. And I know that obviously there are things in your relationship that aren't perfect, but you need to sort them out. You can't lose this one." He replies in a quieter and more serious tone. I feel my phone buzz in my back pocket and I quickly take it out.

Elena 💛🌻
Staying at Frans tonight.

Fuck.

"Is it her?" Mitch asks me as I slump back into my chair. It's such an uncharacteristic text to get from her. Normally her texts are much longer than that, even if it's just an update text. She'll always include an emoji, or at least an 'x' or two on the end. I feel sick.

"She's staying with Fran." I sigh as I cradle the phone in my hands wondering what my next move is. Mitch let's out a low whistle.

"Fuck, that's not good. But hey, at least she's not jumping on a plane" Mitch points out.

"I'm pretty sure if it weren't for the wedding tomorrow she'd have got on a plane" I say defeatedly. She'd never let Sarah down like that, she is a bridesmaid after all. This isn't like the fight in New York where she stormed off into another bedroom. She left the house, and she isn't planning on coming back tonight, this isn't good.

"Well then, it sounds like you've got the next two days to make it all better. Tomorrow we drive to Napa Valley and have the rehearsal dinner, she'll have to talk to you then. And then the wedding, Valentines Day, you'll be able to figure it out" Mitch says reassuringly, but I don't feel reassured. How could I possibly fix the mess I've made in two days time when she won't even stay in the same house as me? I'm about to ask for some more advice when Mitch's front door swings open.

"Let's write some vows boys!" Max calls out enthusiastically as he lets the door close behind him, i guess Mitch called for two sets of backup. Mitch looks at me as if to get a read on whether we include Max in this conversation. I love Max, he's one of my best mates, but I think I'm just exhausted and defeated now, I don't want to talk about it anymore. I put on the best smile I can and point to Mitch.

"The man needs help, all he's got is her name" I say with a chuckle as Max joins us in the living room, pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

"Fucking hell, good thing we're here. More H?" Max asks as he gestures towards me with the bottle. I push my glass towards him.

"Make it a double" I reply.

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All the lights are off in the house when I get back. I know Elena said that she was staying with Fran but part of me had hope that maybe she'd change her mind and come home to me. I left Mitch's place way later than I planned, Sarah was staying at her mum's for the night and so the boys and I ordered some pizzas and cracked into the vows. We did quite a good job in my opinion, but the flowery language and bullshit you're supposed to say at weddings really isn't my strong suit. I gave it all I had, and now I just feel very fucking empty. So I guess, coming home to an empty house is pretty fitting.

She hasn't even come by for her stuff, everything is exactly where she left it this morning. She must be borrowing some stuff from Fran. I should call her. No I shouldn't I'm drunk. Well, I'm not drunk but I'm not sober, I'm at that awkward middle phase where I am probably responsible for my actions but I don't feel like I should be. Fuck it. I sit down on the edge of the bed and dial the phone. It rings, and rings, and rings. I fall back against the bed and let out a sigh, she's not picking up.

"Hi" I hear her mumble just as the phone is about to go to voicemail. I'm in shock, she actually picked up, oh my god what a fucking relief.

"Hey, hi" I respond louder than I should as I sit upright quickly and run a hand through my hair.

"Are you drunk?" She asks quietly, I swear I can hear a slight smile on her face as she asks me. My heart starts racing, she's actually talking to me.

"No! Well, not 'absolutely no'. I was with the boys and Mitch, the hopeless bugger, hasn't written his vows yet so we helped him. And we had a little liquid courage along the way" I stutter out, sounding like a complete bumbling idiot. To my surprise, I can hear a small laugh down the other end of the phone. I'm making her laugh! Fuck I love her so much.

"Sarah wrote hers weeks ago. They really are a match made in heaven aren't they?" Elena replies, sounding amused. I brush my hand through my hair and close my eyes, it's like she's here in front of me. I wish I was in bed, I could just curl up and close my eyes and pretend she's talking to me like I did when we were broken up.

"I don't know how it works, but it really does" I admit with a slight chuckle as I hold the phone to my ear with my shoulder and unbutton my shirt. "How was the spa?" I ask. It may be a mistake to bring up an event that occurred so closely after our argument but I need to keep this conversation going, I need to hear her voice for as long as I can.

"It was fine, for the most part" She replies with a heavy sigh. "How was your day?" She asks quietly in a voice barely above a whisper. I push my jeans down my legs and pull back the covers, climbing into bed after switching off the main light.

"Well I'll be honest, it was shit" I tell her with a small sigh. "I am so so sorry, for all of it, for everything" I lie my head back down on the pillow and close my eyes, holding the phone tightly against the side of my face as my heart starts to race.

"Were you really never going to tell me?" She asks me in a soft whispering tone. I like to picture that she's doing the same thing that I am. That she's curled up in bed, talking softly as though I'm right there beside her because deep down she knows that's where she wants to be.

"I don't know" I reply honestly. It's the truth, keeping shit from her is what got me here in the first place. "I didn't think any of it through, clearly it was a massive mistake" I add quickly. I hear her let out a light sigh before a long pause of silence descends between us.

"It was a really bad mistake Harry" She mumbles quietly. I know that tone, she's about to cry but she's holding it back with everything she's got. I hate being on the receiving end of it, I hate making her upset but I always seem to be so fucking good at it.

"I know bub, I am so so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I thought I was doing what was best" I apologise softly.

"Can you just tell me one thing?" I hear her mumble after a small sniffle. I bite my bottom lip, hearing her cry makes me want to cry, she's my trigger.

"Of course, anything you want to know" I reply quickly.

"Did he fight for me...at all?" She asks through a quiet muffle. Fuck. My heart lurches inside my chest and my arms begin to ache. She's in pain, I need to hold her, comfort her, she's in pain and I'm part of the reason why. I reach my hand over and take her pillow from her side of the bed and press my face into it. It smells like her shampoo, I cradle it close to me.

"He um..." I stutter. How do I answer this without causing her even more pain?

"Just be honest, it's okay. I need to know" She cuts me off with a quiet yet decisive tone.

"When I started talking about money...he was very quick to get on board" I mumble regretfully. Even as I say the words I feel so disgusted with myself, what the actually fuck is wrong with me? I convinced myself that I was being a hero for doing this. Like I was saving her from having this awful man drop back into her life and wreak havoc before simply leaving once more. She went through so much because of him, but she was so strong. I took it away from her, I feel like I've caused her just as much pain as he did. I listened closely, and I can definitely hear her crying even though she's going to great lengths to hide it. I squeeze my eyes shut and clutch her pillow to my chest, this is agony.

"Bubba I am so sorry" I tell her as a tear of my own drips down my nose and onto her pillow.

"I know you are" I hear her mumble in response as she tries to keep her voice level and calm. "I just...I don't know what to do" She admits quietly. Fuck. I mean, I knew it was really bad and I knew that she was probably considering leaving me but to hear her kind of admit it is something I wasn't ready to hear yet.

"You don't have to do anything yet, okay? We can talk in Napa Valley, we can figure this out" I say reassuringly. I have to at least try, I'm not going to give up without trying, I just need her to give me a chance. I hear another disheartened sigh on the other end of the phone.

"We can't talk in Napa, it's about Sarah and Mitch, it isn't about us" Elena tells me softly.

"You want to pretend like everything is fine?" I ask, slightly surprised by her response.

"We have to, we can't ruin their day with our issues. You only get one wedding day" She replies, the sniffling is gone, she seems to have been able to compose herself. The sick part of me is actually excited about it, that means that throughout the rehearsal dinner and the wedding day I get to touch her and kiss her and hold her hand. I know she's upset with me and I know she's questioning everything, but it will almost be like I can pretend it's all okay.

"Okay. So, should I pick you up and drive you to Napa then?" I ask, feeling slightly optimistic. It's a good six or seven hours in the car, it might do us some good.

"No I um, I think I'll just go down with Fran actually." Elena mumbles slightly apologetically. Of course, in retrospect maybe 7 hours in LA traffic with me isn't a good idea.

"Oh yeah sure, that's maybe best. But I'll bring your stuff for you, you kind of left everything here" I say as I inch my eyes open and peek over at her bedside table. She has the majority of her jewellery sitting in a small dish next to her water bottle and a hair tie, it's the ways that she clutters up my life that I love the most. She took her ring, which means that at least she has it, maybe she could be wearing it. There's hope in that too.

"Thank you, I'll send you a list in the morning of the essentials" She states gratefully. She only needs me to bring some of her stuff, not all of it, so it's not like she's planning to catch a flight straight after the ceremony. I'll admit, these are small little signs of hope but I'm clinging onto them for dear life.

"I'll make sure you have everything you need, I promise" I tell her quietly, enjoying the brief few seconds of silence as I listen to her slowly breath in and out on the other end of the phone.

"It's been a long time since we've spent a night apart" Elena points out. Thank fuck, normal conversation.

"Yeah. I'm not a fan" I say with a slight smile. The last night I spent without Elena by my side must have been right before she moved back in with me. It's been months, not even the car accident kept us apart, the nurses parked a recliner chair by Elena's bedside and that was where I stayed until they gave her the all clear to come home. I thought I had lost her, and I never wanted to spend another night without her again. And now here I am.

"Neither am I" She admits quietly.  "It's weird not having you with me" She adds timidly. The smile on my lips grows slightly, I completely agree, it's unnatural not to have her by my side.

"You could still come home.." I suggest softly. "I mean, I could come get you, neither of us has to sleep alone" I offer as my heart rate picks up once more. I can almost hear a small giggle on her end.

"You're too drunk to drive, and I don't think it's the best idea. None of this is ideal, but it's where we are right now" She replies softly, still trying to conserve my feelings I suppose. I can't be surprised, this morning she stormed out of the house screaming that she can't stand to even look at me knowing what I've done, so really I'm lucky that she's even talking to me right now.

"I could read to you?" I suggest as I sit upright in bed and turn on the light switch beside my bed. She told me once that when we were broken up she used to play the voicemails I had left her to help her fall asleep. This would be just like that, only better. I hear another small laugh as I climb out of bed and pick up my iPad from the dresser and crawl back into bed, opening up the kindle app.

"You were reading 'The Shining' on the flight over here, I think I'll pass on hearing that thanks" Elena responds with a giggle.

"Well lucky for you I finished that one yesterday, and I've started a new book" I tell her somewhat proudly as I click on the title.

"What are you on now? 'It'?" She asks humorously as I lay back and prop my head up with my pillow.

"Nope. I um, I started Pride and Prejudice" I reply softly. There's complete silence on the other end of the phone, I think I've rendered her speechless. "I mean, I'm only 20 pages in but it's not bad so far. And since you're already familiar with it I figure I can just read from where I'm up to?" I offer. I wouldn't be reading it if she didn't love it so much. Elena always re-reads books she loves when she's upset, I know that because that's the indicator I've been using to see how she's feeling mentally. New book = good, old book = maybe not so good. I was going to read it all and then surprise her once I'd finished it. I don't know what I was planning to do upon completing it to surprise her but I thought I'd get some sort of idea from within the book. But now that this is where we are, I'm pulling out all the stops, I just need her to know how much I love her, this is one way that I can prove it.

"I'd like that a lot" She mumbles quietly after a lengthy pause, I'm choosing to believe it's a good sign. I don't know how long I read for, at least an hour or so. But eventually she falls asleep, and so do I.

————————————————————————

The drive was painfully long, even with the gorgeous LA sunshine beating down on me for the majority of the way. I tried listening to the radio or a podcast but I couldn't concentrate on anything at all. The only thoughts that ran through my mind were the memories of when I first took Elena for a ride in this car: the day we went to Disneyland. How was that only 6 or so months ago? So fucking much has changed between then and now.

I arrived about an hour or so before the rehearsal dinner and checked into the room that Sarah and Mitch had booked for Elena and I. I take our bags in, who knows if she'll end up staying in here with me, it's not likely I have to admit. There's just enough time for me to take a quick shower, change into my suit and head out of my room towards the main reception of the resort and through to the front lawn. There sits a large white tent draped in fairly lights and white roses where faces I recognise from over the years slowly begin to filter through the front entrance. How do I explain why my fiancée isn't with me? Will they ask? I'm really fucking dreading this.

Walking into the tent is almost like walking into a massive fort you've constructed in your living room as a kid. The ceilings are draped in white linen and it seems both cozy and massive at the same time. There are light brown tables and chairs arranged further down the other side of the tent while a bar is set up towards the front. Sarah and Mitch stand a few feet away from the entrance and greet everyone as they enter.

"She's not here yet mate, already checked" Mitch mumbles quietly to me as I shake his hand. I take a quick scan of the room, it's still pretty early I guess but I thought Elena would be here early. Elena's early to pretty much everything, being late just gives her too much anxiety so it's better to be ten minutes early as opposed to having her stressed out.

"Thanks for looking out" I thank him before I give Sarah a small kiss on the cheek while she talks with her mum.

"Look at you being on time! Proud of you" Sarah says with immense glee as she straightens out my jacket for me. "Fran texted, she and your lovely lady shouldn't be too far away" She informs me and my heart begins to race in my chest.

"You're looking lovely Sarah. Nervous?" I ask with a wide smile, trying to desperately hide how flustered I am.

"Not at all, I think I've eclipsed nervous and have mentally prepared myself for everything that can go wrong so that if it does happen I will be prepared". Sarah informs me with a nod of her head. I've always related to Sarah in this way; she's an organiser, a planner, that's why she's such a good match for Mitch. She sorts him out, he calms her down, the perfect combination.

"Well done. I'm going to get a drink" I inform her before moving over to the bar and ordering a whiskey, I need a little bit of liquid courage. The conversation with Elena went well last night, but not well enough for me to feel like we're out of the woods. She wants to pretend everything is okay, but that may change once she actually sees me and tries to act like it's all normal.

I'm three sips in when I catch a glimpse of my girl at the door. She's arrived with Fran dressed in a pastel pink summer dress that reminds me vaguely of the one she wore to Theo's christening. She's breathtaking, and I've caught her eye as she wraps Sarah in a hug. My feet pull my body quickly over to meet her.

"Hey you" Elena smiles widely at me after she quickly hugs Mitch and walks over to me, leaning up on her toes to kiss my cheek and wrap an arm around my neck. Holy fuck. A wave of relief washes over me momentarily. I know it's to keep up appearances but fuck it I'm in. I wrap an arm around her waist and hug her close to me, pressing my face against her hair and inhaling the sweet aroma of her lavender shampoo. I've missed her so much, I need her so badly.

"Hey bub" I tell her quietly as I press a long kiss against her forehead. We've never done this before, pretended we were okay when we weren't, this is a new and uncharted territory for us. I can't even tell if she's faking her affection or if she has actually missed me.

"Hello Harry" Fran on the other hand, greets me rather coldly. I know instantly that Elena didn't give her some kind of excuse as to why she stayed the night last night, she knows the truth. I smile at her and tuck my arm over Elena's shoulders and curl her into the side of my body, Elena puts up no fight whatsoever, another good sign.

"Fran." I greet her with a nod. "How was the spa yesterday?" I ask them both. Fran smiles knowingly at Elena as Elena removes herself from my embrace but still remains by my side. Elena wouldn't say how it went on the phone, but I know that she hadn't had quite the relaxing experience she was hoping for.

"We had a great time. Soothed the muscles, unclogged our pores, put bitches in their places, a great day all round" Fran says with a smirk. "I'm going to say hi to the other girls, leave you two to it" She announces before quickly moving away from the two of us.

" 'Put bitches in their places'? What happened, are you okay?" I turn to Elena and ask her worriedly. Did something bad happen and Fran had to step in for her? Elena sighs slightly and scratches the back of her neck for a few seconds, her mouth pressed into a flat line.

"Oh um, I sort of had a confrontation with Holly" Elena tells me quietly as she gestures towards the bar. I accompany her, placing a hand on the small of her back as we walk, she puts up no fight. A confrontation with Holly right after she and I had the biggest fight we've ever had, that can't be good.

"What happened?" I ask curiously before I signal the bartender. Elena orders a glass of white wine and stands closer to me as she opens her mouth again.

"She was getting on my nerves and I just snapped, I was already on edge and she just took it too far" She replies before giving the bar tender a grateful smile as he hands her the glass and we move together away from the bar.

"What did she say to you?" I ask with concern. I thought everything with Holly was dead and buried, well I guess it was until she texted me on my birthday and I didn't tell Elena about it.

"She said that she wanted to make sure that there were 'no hard feelings' between her and I with regards to you and her still remaining friends. You know, because apparently you two have not just history but also so much chemistry" Elena states with a roll of her eyes before taking a large sip of wine. I scoff and shake my head, me and Holly having chemistry? It's almost hilarious to think about.

"Well you know that's complete bullshit" I state as we stand together off to the side of the room. I want to keep our conversation private, one that people wouldn't mistake as one that they could join in for.

"Of course I do, which is what I told her. She went on about how you two were just friends now and that's all she wanted. And that's when I reminded her about the awful things she told me the first time we had met" Elena replies emphatically. Our argument in New York, I remember it well. Holly had told Elena that the reason why I was still friends with her is probably because I wanted to keep our friends with benefits situation alive and that I was probably already cheating on her. I'm kind of happy that this got her so riled up, she hasn't quite given up on me yet.

"So she changed her story" I surmise aloud. Elena's lips curl up into a smirk as she nods her head back at me, pleased that I've caught on. Fuck I love this woman.

"Exactly! So I sort of put her in her place, I said some awful things I don't think I should have said" Her smile falters as she takes another sip of wine, racked with guilt.

"What sort of things did you say?" I ask her quietly. I need to keel this conversation going, this is good, we're doing well. Elena sighs.

"I kind of did the whole 'look where you are and look where I am' speech" Elena replies guiltily, and that sick awful side of me is inwardly grinning with pride.

"How does that speech go?" I ask, some of the pride slipping through onto my face. Elena presses her lips together and I can see the ghost of a smile on her own face too.

"I said something along the lines of 'you were his side piece for a decade and have nothing to show for it, whereas I only met him two years ago and have a ring, a home and two cars'" She quickly replies. I gasp slightly, that's totally out of character for Elena, she hates bragging about material things. I'm so proud of her, and so fucking turned on by her right now.

"Wow. That's incredible, and accurate. I'm very proud of you" I state proudly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. I could swear that she leans her head slightly into my touch as I do so.

"I also may have said something about how your family adore me whereas Gemma and Anne couldn't have picked her out of a lineup" Elena reveals quietly. This time I really do gasp, that's diabolical and again I am filled with immense pride and joy. She's so quick witted, so sharp, and even though I know she's never intended to say these things aloud she's definitely thought them before. And the fact that she went this hard for Holly even when we were in such a massive fight is such a big deal to me. She marked her territory over me, drew a line in the sand, I'm feeling a little more hopeful.

"Outstanding" is all I manage to say as I try to fight the wide grin that wants to beam across my face. Elena giggles slightly before she rubs a hand across her forehead.

"It doesn't even end there..." Elena trails off as she peers up at me.

"Please please tell me" I practically beg, I need to hear everything that my bub said to this woman.

"I sort of implied that she was a pathetic old woman who should stop wasting her time chasing around a man who has so clearly moved on and should focus on finding someone who's actually interested. You know, because she hasn't got that much time left" Elena whispers guiltily. My jaw drops open. One of the things I love the most about Elena is her kindness, so why is it so fucking hot to hear her being kind of catty and bitchy?

"Wow" Is all I manage to say as I take a large sip of whiskey.

"I feel awful, I was cruel and unnecessarily harsh" She replies somewhat sadly as she looks down at her shoes.

"Don't, she deserved it and it's the truth. You stood up for yourself, I'm very proud of you" I tell her with a wide grin. For a moment I allow myself to enjoy this, Elena smiling softly back up at me as I place a hand on her cheek and gently stroke her soft skin. It's a feeling I don't quite know how to describe, but it's almost like the relief you feel when a plane finally lands after hours of awful turbulence. You've just sat in the plane as it jerks back and forth and whips side to side and you don't know for sure if it's going to land again. But then it does, and you feel so incredibly grateful to be back on steady ground again.

"Well thank you, I still feel like I should talk to her though. I don't want her to think I'm heartless. It's just been a rough day." Elena replies with a slight nod of her head as she scans the room. I can't see Holly yet, thank god, I can't lose this just yet.

"It doesn't matter what she thinks of you bub, you said what needed to be said" I tell her as my hand travels to the bare skin of her shoulder and softly traces across the skin with my thumb. Fuck Holly, who gives a damn what she thinks. And even if Holly does tell everyone what she thinks of Elena, it doesn't matter. Because the second that you meet Elena you will learn just how wonderful and sweet and kind she is, and that whatever horseshit Holly has tried to feed you is simply not true. Holly's opinion is not important, and it shouldn't keep Elena up at night.

"Of course you don't think it was too harsh, but by my standards it was completely out of line" She exhales softly before looking back up at me, obviously unable to spot Holly as the crowd of guests grows bigger by the second. "I guess maybe I'll see how she chooses to act around me. If she's sweet I'll apologise, if she's not-"

"If she's anything but nice to you she'll have me to deal with" I cut her off, wanting to step up and defend the woman I love. Honestly, if I had known she was going to cause me this much grief, I would have never slept with Holly in the first place. Totally not worth it. Elena's eyes roll slightly.

"I bet she'll love that, since you two have such incredible chemistry" She replies with a knowing smirk before taking a sip of her wine. Now it's my turn to roll my eyes.

"She's completely ridiculous" I say with a scoff. I don't know why Holly is trying to hold on to me so tightly, it's not like I've always been such a great guy that she doesn't want to let go of. I was a real asshole to her over the past few years. Elena shrugs with a small smile and turns to see Max advancing quickly towards us. Maybe I should have told him about mine and Elena's fight yesterday, maybe he wouldn't be intruding now.

"Mate. Big problem. I don't have a speech for tonight" Max tells both Elena and I in a rushed tone before he smiles widely at Elena. "Mrs Styles, you always look like a real sort but tonight you look truly magnificent" He smirks before giving her a kiss on the cheek. Elena blushes slightly before I put an arm around her shoulder and gently coax her into my side.

"Lovely to see you too Max, what speech are you talking about?" Elena asks politely as one of her arms wraps around my back to curl herself into my side. I savour it for as long as I can, brushing my fingers delicately through her hair as Max quietly freaks out.

"The wedding planner just came over and told me that my speech is up after Sarah's dad. I asked her what the fuck she was talking about and she said that it's my time to toast since I'm not speaking tomorrow. I've got nothing" Max huffs quickly.

"How did you not know that you were giving a speech?" I ask with a furrowed brow. Might as well help him now, even if he did intrude on a nice moment with my love. Max shrugs and combs a hand through his hair.

"I dunno, guess it just went in one ear and out the other. Can't I just make up some kind of excuse?" Max asks worriedly. To my surprise, Elena speaks up before I can offer him some suggestions on how to weasel out of this commitment.

"If you don't speak tonight you'll regret it. This is your chance to wish the best for Sarah and Mitch and be part of a really special day. There's no pressure for you to make it a perfect speech or anything, but I really think you'll regret it if you choose to say nothing" She tells him with a kind smile. I stroke my thumb across her cheek, adoring her quietly as she tries to convince Max to do something he was asked to prepare to do weeks ago.

"What would I even say though? I'm not good with this sort of thing" Max states somewhat pathetically.

"Max you're an artist, get creative" I tell him, trying to hide my smirk. Max rolls his eyes.

"I can't exactly paint them a portrait, I don't have any of my supplies here. And I'm fine with my creativity thank you very much, it's public speaking that freaks me out" He retorts with a huff.

"So don't think of it as a speech. Just think of it as you and Sarah and Mitch. Let everyone else fade into the background, they aren't important, it's for Sarah and Mitch" Elena replies delicately. "Just tell them a funny story about the two of them or a memory that you cherish with the two of them. Then maybe throw in how much you love them and then raise a glass to them. Simple" Elena advises him with a sweet smile. I can tell that Max is already feeling a little more relaxed based on that advice.

"Any stories I can steal mate?" Max turns to me with a wide grin.

"Nope, you gotta think of one on your own. You can do it, and you better do it quick" I tell him with a smile as I gesture to everyone slowly making their way over to the various tables scattered around the large tent. Max curses under his breath before he walks away, can't wait to see what he comes up with.

"We should find our seats" I say before taking her hand in mine and walking around some of the tables looking for our name tags. Elena interlocks her fingers with mine and gives me hand a soft squeeze just as we find our table before her hand slips from mine. Sarah and Mitch have lumped us together on a 'close friends' table right next to theirs, so at least we are in good company.

"Hello everyone!" Holly excitedly squeals from across the table as she takes her seat across from Elena and I with Sarah's friend Lucy by her side. I can feel Elena tense up beside me as we sit down, why did Sarah have to put us on the same table? I put a hand on Elena's knee under the table and give it a soft squeeze as Max takes his seat next to Holly and shoots me an 'are you kidding me?' kind of look. Elena catches it too and seems to suppress a smile as I feel her hand on top of mine, giving it a slight squeeze before removing it to pick up her wine glass.

"How are your guys' rooms?" Jeff asks the table "Ours is right by the pool and I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing"

I should be well primed to answer that question, managing hotels and all, but his question provokes my own question. What does Elena want to do about the room situation. Sarah and Mitch booked us one room and it only has one bed, is she going to kick me out of it or make me sleep on the couch?

"That's perfect! You'll be able to get down there nice and early and reserve a lounger for us all tomorrow morning. Nothing better than an early morning tanning session" Holly responds animatedly.

"The wedding is at 10 I don't think there will be much time for that" Glenne replies sadly, making a pouty face back at Holly. I'm glad we're in the seats that we are in right now, Elena isn't on that side and thus isn't forced into pretending to have an engaging conversation with these girls.

"Shoot, you're probably right. But we could always do a midnight swim tonight. Who's in? We can go straight from here?" Holly suggests, scanning around the table with the fakest smile plastered on her face as she makes eye contact with Elena.

"My bikini is in my room I'd have to stop off there first" Lucy replies happily. I've had very little contact with Lucy over the last few years, but she's a very loyal friend to Holly so no doubt she's horrible.

"Or we could skinny dip, that would be way more fun" Holly giggles in response. "You guys in?" Holly leans over slightly as she points her question over to our side of the table.

"We're good, thanks" Elena replies with a confident smile as she sits forward slightly. Holly raises an eyebrow slightly before turning her attention to me.

"Harry, you in?" She asks me, completely ignoring Elena's rejection. I put my arm around the back of Elena's chair and smirk softly.

"Like Elena said, we're good" I reiterate her point, softly stroking my thumb over Elena's shoulder. Holly nods her head slowly before inquiring with Max if he's in, before he shushes her and keeps furiously typing on his phone as he obviously tries to hammer out the rest of his speech.

"Okay screw that I'm not apologising" Elena mumbles in a soft whisper to me as she picks up her wine glass. I smile proudly and press my lips to the side of her forehead.

"Good Girl" I tell her happily. I know we aren't exactly in the best place right now, but she still considers us as 'we' which makes me very happy. The last two days have been about hope, I have to have hope that things are going to be okay, or else I'll fall apart.

Mitch's father stands and makes a quick speech welcoming us all to the rehearsal dinner, but I zone out fairly quickly. Elena is wrapped up in it, meaning that I get to look at her for as long as I want. I watch as the corners of her mouth quirk upwards when Mitch's dad makes some joke about the open bar. Her head tilts to the side as she looks over at Mitch and Sarah, watching their reactions as Mitch's dad recounts the first night he met Sarah and how wonderful he thought she was. It's a sweet moment, until a thought makes my stomach churn.

Elena will never have this moment, and it's partly my fault.

I don't know what could have happened in the future, maybe Elena and Frank might have been able to fix things. But now they can't. She knows he sold her out, I don't think there's any coming back from that. I ruined this for her, I took the possibility of having this away from her.

I feel sick.

"...I could not be more thrilled that you are by his side. So with that, I'd like everyone to raise their glasses, to toast the lovely Sarah. May your marriage be as wonderful as you are." Mitch's dad proclaims proudly as everyone in the room, including Elena and I, lift our glasses up and toast to Sarah. Sarah's overwhelmed with emotion, quickly blinking away tears as she rushes over to her future father-in-law and hugs him tightly.

"Don't worry Max, you're gonna do great" Jeff leans over and give Max a small pep talk before his speech. Elena now seems out of sorts, like she's far away somehow as she keeps her eyes on Sarah and Mitch's table. I would ask her what's wrong, but I know the answer. It's me, I'm the problem, I'm the reason why everything is so screwed up.

"I'm not up until after dinner so I have some more time" Max says with a slight sigh as he drains the remaining amber liquid in his glass. As if they had been summoned, the room suddenly swirls with waiters carrying plates of food that we preselected months ago. I'd forgotten what I ordered until the plate of salmon is placed down delicately in front of me. I remember Elena agonising over what to choose when we had to make the decision, but now that her risotto is sitting in front of her she seems pretty pleased with her decision.

The meal passes by in such a blur. I can hardly recall the taste of the food in my mouth or the conversations that were occurring around me. It felt like I was experiencing it in third person, the whole time my brain was caught up in the thought about what I had done. It got me thinking about what Mitch had asked me, about how if the roles were reversed how I would feel. How would I feel if Elena had done something like this to me? I initially thought that she would never do anything like that to me, but that's just so much worse, because maybe that's what Elena thought too. Elena maybe never would have considered me doing something as awful as paying her father to stay out of her life and then keeping it a secret, but then I did. How did she even pick up the phone last night? How is she even pretending like we're okay? If the roles were reversed, I would have left her. But she hasn't left me, not yet anyways, why? Why is she holding on to me when I seem to cause her so much pain?

"Excuse me everyone, someone made the mistake of asking me to make a speech and handing me a microphone so I'm about to force you to listen to me for the next couple of minutes" Max's now confident voice booms through the microphone as he stands up with his phone in his hand. I hear a few chuckles break out through the room as he smiles into the microphone.

"I promise I'm not going to bore you with some cliché story that you've all probably all heard before. But instead, I want to tell you about the night that Sarah and I went to get groceries while we were up in Big Bear" Max declares with a slight chuckle. Sarah's smile grows wider as Jeff claps his hands together.

"Love this story" He mutters with a small smile.

"It was 7 years ago and it was the first trip that Sarah had been on with us. She and Mitch had only started dating about three months prior and she was still basically a stranger to us" Max begins, Elena leans over slightly towards me.

"Were you on this trip?" She asks me with a small whisper. I had planned on being there, booked a ticket and even rented a car but I didn't end up getting there. Jack had a set back in his recovery, apparently he left the rehab facility and got high before getting arrested. Needless to say, I had to be in the UK and couldn't go and have fun on this trip.

"Nah, I met Sarah a few weeks after this" I tell Elena with a small reassuring smile.

"...So there we are stranded in the middle of what turned out to be basically a deserted piece of road with no cell service and no working GPS system." Max chuckles as he continues his story.

"And neither of us knows what the fuck we're going to do. I think that we have been driving long enough that if we walk a few miles we will eventually reach the town and we can get help. But Sarah is adamant that we can just walk back a little ways back the way that we came from and get cell service again." The crowd let's out some soft chuckles here and there. I've heard this story a couple of times before, Max has picked a great speech.

"If you know Sarah and you know me, you know we are two very headstrong people and so neither of us were budging on our ideas, and neither of us wanted to go alone so what did we do? We sat down on the side of the road, and we waited for a car to drive past. And we waited, for four hours" Max pauses as people let out some laughs at the thought of those two being stranded together, Elena even lets out a slight giggle.

"And within the first five minutes I figured out that this girl is still practically a stranger to me, so I have no idea how to talk to her. I know she likes music and Mitch, that was all the information I had at that point. So I figured, let's just talk about Mitch the whole time, rescue shouldn't be far away and I'll have enough Mitch stories to fill the time! And believe me, I did."

"I told her everything about this man. The most boring information, the never ending stories, all the photos I had in my camera roll, I gave her everything I had!" I look over to see Mitch cringing, probably having only just found out how much Max divulged during this time.

"And she was so into it! She wanted to know absolutely every little nugget of information I had to share. No story was too boring for her, because it was about Mitch, and that was all she needed to have her hooked."

"So, it's been four hours, not a single car has driven by. And all of a sudden, we hear a car incoming. We both stand up and furiously wave it down. And who's driving it....it's Mitch! Who had been so worried after not hearing from Sarah that he got in his car and decided to track us down in town to figure out where we were" The crowd coo's at Mitch's past worry as Sarah lays her head on Mitch's shoulder.

"Now that we've been rescued, Mitch drives us in to town because of course we all still need to get the groceries and to call a mechanic about my car. And while Sarah browses the cheese isle I pull Mitch off to the side and tell him that I think that Sarah's a great girl. And he tells me "Good. Because I don't know how or when, but some day that girl is going to be my wife". And I could not be more pleased that 'someday' is now tomorrow" Max grins widely at Sarah and Mitch's table. Elena sits back in her seat and gently places a hand over her heart as she smiles at Max's words.

"I've never been one for relationships, so I always hated the terms like 'meant to be' or 'they complete each other' because that's not at all what love should be in my eyes. When I look at Sarah and Mitch I see two complete people who work hard everyday at their relationship. These two people wake up everyday and despite everything that they've gone through together and the chaos of the world around them, they choose to love each other every single day. And I'll be honest, I used to see that as kind of a pointless thing to do, but now I see how beautiful it can be."

"So right now I would like to thank the two of you. Mitch, I'd like to thank you for being one of the best friends a guy could ask for and for bringing this lovely lady into our lives. And Sarah, thank you for being you and for loving Mitch the way that he deserves to be loved. You two give me hope, and sometimes that's all you need. To Sarah and Mitch" Max at last raises his glass up and the rest of the room follows before the sound of applause fills the room. He came up with that within the last hour, well done Max.

"That was incredible. Well done!" Elena stands to give Max a kiss on the cheek and congratulate him as he finally makes his way back to the table.

"Thanks for the advice, are you making a speech?" Max asks as the two of them sit back down at the table.

"No, I haven't known them long enough to say anything like that. But I did help Harry with his speech for tomorrow" Elena says with a smile as she turns her body slightly and puts a hand on my shoulder. We wrote my speech over a month ago, practically as soon as Mitch asked me to be his best man. I asked her for her help immediately. I'm great at public speaking, but speaking from the heart is what I really struggle with. She helped me turn a very factual speech into one that could bring a tear to even my eye.

"And I bet it's had you both thinking about your own wedding. Please give me plenty of notice before I have to give a speech at your wedding mate, I gotta make it real good" Max tells me with a soft chuckle. Elena doesn't immediately shoot him down at the mention of our wedding, but she doesn't exactly seem to want to say anything at all in response.

"You were given plenty of notice about this speech though so maybe you should just set yourself a little reminder next time" I reply with a smirk. One of Sarah's sisters is the next to take the microphone and begins her speech, but I zone out fairly quickly, especially once Elena puts a hand on my arm.

"You okay?" She asks me in a whisper, her forehead furrowed. I nod slightly and finish my drink in one big swig, but she seems unconvinced and narrows her eyes slightly.

"We need to talk, properly" I say with a sigh as I take a quick look around the room, everyone's focus is sitting with Sarah's sister, whose name I couldn't tell you even if I had a gun to my head. Elena's complexion pales slightly although she gives me a small nod. Together, we quietly stand up and make our way towards the exit of the tent. I frankly don't care if people take note of our absence, I can't sit in this room anymore with all of these thoughts running through my head.

"What's going on?" Elena asks me I continue to walk back down the path, further away from the tent.

"I just, I needed to get away from all of that in there" I gesture to the tent as I finally stop walking once the tent is no longer in my line of sight. The sun has almost set and the lampposts dotted around the footpath are the only real light that illuminates Elena's confused face.

"All of what? It was lovely" Elena asks as she looks back in the direction of the tent.

"Just, all of the speeches about love and family and marriage, it's just a little overwhelming considering the fact that we haven't really talked about all of this yet" I try and explain. How do I politely tell her that I feel like my heads about to explode when I consider the irony of our current situation. About how we are in the middle of a massive fight and are now spending the weekend celebrating our friends getting married by pretending everything is fine.

"Now isn't the time or place to talk about this" Elena states as she folds her arms over her chest, the low wind gently brushing through her hair.

"It has to be, please" I plead with her, I feel like I'm in agony over this. We need to clear this up, I have to know where her head is at and she needs to know what's going on in mine. Elena lets out a defeated sigh and nods.

"Fine, but not here where anyone can see or hear us. In your room" She mumbles before I reach out for her hand, which she takes somewhat reluctantly as I begin to lead her down the path. I wonder if she can feel how hard my heart is pounding as we walk the 60 or so seconds through the gardens towards our room. I release her hand to dig into my back pocket and remove the key card, swipe it against the door and allow her to go in first.

It's a fairly standard Spanish style villa with a small kitchenette and a larger than necessary bathroom. The only thing that's relatively special about it is the woman standing in the middle of it, I can't take my eyes off of her as I shut the door behind me and toss the keycard onto the desk.

"So..." Elena turns to me and begins with a small sigh.

"How much of that in there was real?" I ask abruptly, catching her off guard.

"What do you mean?" She asks for me to clarify.

"The affection. How much of it was real?" I repeat the question. I know that if we weren't surrounded by people that there is no way that she would have done any of it. But I need to know if she was gritting her teeth while she was doing it. Elena's shoulders sag and her eyes begin to fill with water.

"Are you asking me if I still love you?" She asks delicately. I hadn't thought of the question in that way before, but I suppose I am. I nod my head and brace myself for the answer. Elena bites her bottom lip and blinks quickly.

"Harry, Of course I love you. That's why this is so hard" She whispers gently as a tear trickles down her cheek. A wave of relief crashes over me. Thank god, I haven't completely lost her yet. I breathe out a gentle sigh and brush a hand through my hair.

"So last night on the phone, when you said you didn't like sleeping without me..." I say slowly.

"That was real too" She replies with a small nod of her head. I brace my hand up against the wall and steady myself, it was all real, she wasn't just trying to make me feel better, it was real.

"I love you so much bub" I proclaim softly, I just need her to hear it, now more than ever. Elena nods her head as another tear falls from her eye.

"I know. I love you too, so much" Her voice barely above a whisper.

"But you don't forgive me do you..?" I mumble quietly as I step closer towards her. She doesn't back up, a good sign, but she squeezes her eyes shut for a long pause.

"I'm, I'm still processing it..." She begins, and all of a sudden she sounds completely exhausted. I've pushed her to the point of complete emotional exhaustion because of what I've done.

"Do you think you'll be able to?" I ask. I know I'm asking a lot of hard questions but my mouth can't seem to stop them from coming out. I didn't realise that my heart could beat this fast, the silence that follows is deafening.

"I don't know..." She answers honestly as her head hangs forward slightly, her arms crossed over her chest. Fuck. My stomach churns, that's not a good answer.

"So...when the wedding is over, you don't know what you want to do?" I ask for her to clarify it for me. I hate all of this 'up in the air' and 'we'll see' shit, but I know that's where her head is right now. I just really want to know how badly I've messed this up, and what I need to do to make it okay again. Elena shuffles on the spot, her hand resting on the back of her neck, I can feel the anxiety radiating off of her.

"I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or how I'll feel. And I don't know what you can do to make it better because I know that's your next question" Elena mumbles in response. I almost want to smile at how she reads my mind, but the gravity of the situation suppresses that almost instantly.

"I don't know how to do this...the pretending that everything is fine..." I tell her honestly. It feels like complaining, and I am kind of, but it's the truth. I'm not faking the way that I feel about her, but I don't want to overstep a boundary that she isn't comfortable with anymore.

"It's not pretending, we do still love each other" Elena states with a heavy sigh. "We just put this fight into a box, and we will open it back up once the wedding is over and then we can actually worm through it. I don't have anymore answers for you, I'm sorry" She adds quickly and I immediately feel massively guilty. Not only have I brought all of this on, but I've now pressured her into answering intense questions just to satisfy my own anxiety. Fucking hell I'm such a prick.

"I'm sorry..." I apologise as I shove my hands into my pockets. Elena shakes her head and swipes her hand gently across her cheek. I ache to reach out to her, to make it all go away. But I know that I can't just make this one disappear. I'm not the solution, I'm the problem.

"I got myself a room, I'll see you at the ceremony tomorrow" She tells me quietly as she takes hold of the small suitcase I packed for her and wheels it across the floor towards the door. I stay rooted in place, almost as though I forgot how to move properly. I think she's about to brush past me and leave me behind, but she stops in front of me and wraps her arms delicately around my waist. I don't waste a second, I envelope my arms around her and cradle her tightly against my chest. It's the same kind of relief as before, back on solid ground, back in the safety of her arms, I savour it for as long as she allows it to go on for. Eventually the moment ends, and her arms release themselves from the embrace as she heads to the door, softly closing it behind her.