Nabi:  what are you drinking?

Taeil:  vodka

Nabi:  what the hell? straight?

Taeil:  no, gay

Nabi:  NOT YOU, THE VODKA —

Jeno:  okay, but when have I actually done anything rash or irresponsible?

Nabi:  I keep a list. it's alphabetized

Renjun:  does Mark think in Korean or English?

Jeno:  I think he thinks in English

Haechan:  I thought he thinks in Canadian??????

Nabi:  bold of you guys to assume Mark thinks

Shotaro:  what's a thot?

Mark:  it's a thoughtful person

[later at the dinner table]

Nabi:  here's the salt, Shotaro

Shotaro:  thanks noona, you're such a thot!

Nabi:  *spits out water*

Mark:  *sneezes*

Nabi:  bless you

Mark:  I'm already blessed to have you

Nabi:  Mark...

Mark:  Nabi...

Yuta:  Yuta

Haechan:  I accidentally wore my contacts to bed. sometimes I think I'm stupid

Nabi:  don't worry, I do that all the time

Haechan:  wear your contacts to bed?

Nabi:  think you're stupid

Nabi:  the food's too hot, I can't eat it

Mark:

Johnny:

Everyone:

Mark:  you're hot but I'd still eat —

Taeil:  ONE DINNER

Jungwoo: here we go agai —

Taeil:  ONE NORMAL FUCKING DINNER IS ALL I ASK FOR

Mark:  so how do I tell the girl I like, I love her?

Nabi:  just suck it up and do it!

Mark:  okay, love you

Nabi:  aww, love you too, now go tell her!

Mark:  I just did ;)

Nabi:  how did it go?!? did she say it back?!?

Mark:  ...

Nabi:  Lucas might be tall, but he has what we call "big baby energy"

Johnny:  wha —

Nabi:  *points to Lucas, who's squished himself onto one cushion on the couch*

Lucas:  *waving with sweater paws* hi guys!

Johnny:  ... i see

Johnny:  I love all my kids equally

Doyoung:  Jungwoo almost set the dorm on fire while you were gone

Johnny:  is NABI OKAY?

Mark:  I look ugly in this picture :(

Nabi:  *sneezes*

Nabi:  sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit

Mark:  what should I be for Halloween this year?

Nabi:  my boyfriend

*in a SM audition*

SM CEO:  where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Nabi:  in your seat

Mark:  I want you to worship my ass every time and every day

Nabi:

Nabi:  what ass?

Jisung:  you're a monster. you'll never know what true fear feels like

Nabi:  okay, first of all, have you ever heard Johnny yell your full name?

Nabi:  I panic when people compliment me. what the hell are you supposed to say when people compliment you?

Mark:  your hair looks great today

Nabi:  HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Nabi:  I tried to follow Mark's girlfriend on Instagram...

Nabi:  but all I could see was "edit profile"

Dispatch:  *follows MaBi*

Boss:  so do you have any news?

Dispatch:  they've been married for 2 years and have 19 kids to feed, I think we need to help them

Nabi:  I am very upset and there is nothing that will make me feel better

Haechan:

Lucas:  no

Haechan:

Lucas:  don't do it

Haechan:  *brings Mark into the room*

Nabi:  *fighting a smile* fuck

Mark:  Nabi, I need a favor

Nabi:  I'm not giving you a lap dance again

Taeyong:  lap dance?

Johnny:  again??

Published:  3/01/2022
Updated: 1/15/2023

526 words