STREAKING
S01:E03

"Push! Push! Come on you gotta push it!" Kelso screamed at Hyde. 

"How much longer?" Hyde asked. 

"10 seconds, you gotta push harder or it's not gonna work!"

"This is so stupid!" Hyde complained. 

"That's right, and you both look stupid doing it." Babe told Hyde and Fez, as she sat on a chair staring at them. Hyde stuck his tongue out at her.

"It's not stupid! You're gonna love it!" Kelso said with a goofy smile.

"I'm not, not gonna love it." Hyde replied.

"Ok that's time! Step away from the door." Kelso said making a hand motion to come at him. Fez and Hyde both stepped away from the wall as their arms floated. They smiled in awe as Kelso jumped in excitement.

"Kelso you're a genius." Fez said happily.

"Yeah, well it's magic." Kelso replied.

Donna and Jackie were too engrossed in their magazines but Babe stared at the boys and shook her head as she sucked on her strawberry Charms Blow Pops. She took it out of her mouth before speaking up again.

"I rest my case." She stated. Kelso and Hyde glared at her before returning to their excitement.

The boys made their way to their seats. Hyde stood in front of Babe waiting for her to move, when she didn't he grabbed her arm pulling her up before sitting down on the chair and pushing her to sit down on the floor. She stared up to glare at him which made him smirk and take the lollipop out of her mouth and placing it in his.

"Hey!" She hit him on the knee in frustration, he ignored her with a smirk.

Eric came down the stairs holding cans of pop, but didn't get far as Jackie started complaining.

"Oh my god! Finally, I am so dehydrated." Jackie told Eric.

"Oh, here. Piggly-Wiggly Diet Creme Soda."

"I told you my top three choices were Tab, Fresca, or Diet Rite." 

"Again, you get Piggly-Wiggly Diet Creme Soda."

"Just drink the soda J–." Babe couldn't finish her sentence as Hyde shoved the lollipop in her mouth making her shut up.

"Your voice hurts my eardrums." He explained simply, Babe took the lollipop out before replying.

"Your face hurts my eyesight." Hyde stuck his tongue out at her and she mimicked him. Jackie rolled her eyes at the two before continuing.

"Then I'll just have water."

"You know, there's a hose in the backyard." Donna told Jackie looking up from her magazine.

"I've noticed that the pop selection has really went downhill since your dad got laid off." Kelso spoke to Eric.

"He's not laid off, he's just part-time." Eric replied looking cautiously around the room. "And shut up."

"Kids. Kids, kids, kids!" Kitty came speeding down the stairs. "The President is coming!" 

"What President?" Eric asked confused. 

"The President of these United States, Gerald R. Ford, the 36th—8th—40th. I don't know, he's the president!" Kitty exclaimed. 

"38th." Babe told Mrs. Forman, who offered her a smile before reining off.

"Why would Ford come to Point Place?" Eric asked confused.

"Because we are a whistle-stop along his Wisconsin campaign trail. My dad organized it." Jackie explained. Kitty who was about to walk upstairs carrying a bunch of American flags stopped and stared at Jackie.

"Dear, the next time you know a President is coming to town please give me a little more notice. I need to vacuum. Eric, you tidy up the basement. A pie! I gotta make a pie!" Kitty darted back up the stairs.

"Wow. The President's coming." Eric said.

"You know what we should do? That door thing again!"

"Yeah!" The boys ran off and Babe sat back on the chair glaring at Hyde's back as he left.

ஐ ஐ ஐ

The students were in the auditorium, as the principal spoke. The friend group stood in the back leaning on the wall.

"Settle down and we'll start the assembly. Now, concerning the canned goods drive. Motor oil is not food." The students interrupted to boo. "I'm sorry, it's not. And all your booing isn't gonna make it one. Now as you all know, President Ford will be visiting our fair city and I know there are some ne'er-do-wells out there that may be planning some sort of quote unquote, social type protest." The principal spoke as he glared.

"I can't believe this. Who cares if Ford is coming?" Hyde said annoyed.

"It's better than when the Oscar Mayer Weenie Mobile drove through." Eric responded.

"They didn't even stop. They just slowed down and threw
a bunch of hot dog whistles at us." Donna replied.

"Two girls in a phallic RV. Driving around, handing out things you blow." Hyde sighed in contempt. "What a great country." Babe smiled at this, Hyde winked at her.

"So let me tell you another thing Mr. or Ms. Punk. Protesting accomplishes nothing." A light went on over Hyde's head. "Oh, sure, you may see a chance to prove your manhood or show you're cool." Eric thought ti himself as a light went on above his head. "But this is our president. Our president, darn it! So no shenanigans, you hear me?" A light shone above Kelso's head. "And if that's your kind of attitude you might just as well go home right now." Fez smiled and walked out the auditorium as the exist sign about his head went on. Babe and Donna oblivious to all of this.

ஐ ஐ ஐ

"Look,  guys, we gotta do something that says we will not pay homage to a corrupt electoral system." Hyde paced around the basement carrying a baseball and a glove. 

"Hell yeah!" Babe shouted in support as she sat on Hyde's usual chair blowing a bubblegum.

"I know. A bloody coup." Fez suggested. 

"That's good, but we're looking for something great. Something that would make our founding fathers proud, man, you know?" Hyde insisted. 

"Let's streak!" Kelso exclaimed. 

"Bingo! Yeah!" Hyde yelled in excitement as Kelso jumped.

"Nothing makes the founding fathers more proud than teenage boys running around with their privates out." Babe replied sarcastically. Making Donna laugh.

"I've always wanted to do that just run buck naked through a sea of people. Be free and shake it around." Kelso said in excitement. "All right, who's in?"

"Will people be chasing us with torches and pointy sticks?" Fez asked worriedly.

"No."

"Then I am in."

"Great. Eric? Are you in?"

"Streaking. I'm...  Don't get me wrong. I'm completely pro-nudity but I think my dad might kill me, and I'm anti-being killed." Eric replied scared.

"Hey if there wasn't a huge downside to doing something this stupid it wouldn't be worth doing, you know?" Hyde told Eric. 

"Good point." Donna said. Her and Babe both in awe that the four would do something so stupid.

"And I could write some really great slogan like "I hate the fuzz" on my ass." Hyde said excitedly.

"If you hate the fuzz on your ass, why don't you just shave it off?" Fez asked, making Babe bark out a laugh.

"God, I love you Fez." She told the boy. Making him smile brightly and gawk at her.

"Really?" He asked hopefully.

"Sure." She replied not putting too much interest in the answer and started playing with her hair.

Not noticing that Fez was raising his eyebrows suggestively at Hyde and Kelso. Kelso smiled as Hyde rolled his eyes.

—

"All this food for 45 cents, it is unbelievable." Fez said making his way to the table at lunch a giant naive smile on his face. "Oh. I see." He said once he tasted the food. Babe patted his back in support.

"It's okay Fez, you get used to the taste." She told him compassionately. He nodded and smiled, going to try the food again before spitting it out. "Or maybe not."

"So, Forman, the rally's tonight, man. What's your decision?" Hyde asked as he and Kelso walked towards the table.

"Yeah, are you gonna streak or not?" Kelso asked frustrated.

"Don't pressure him." Donna scolded them.

"Yeah honestly don't, nobody wants to see that." Babe replied getting hit on the back of the head by Donna. "Ouch!" She yelped as the redhead glared at her.

"No, I've been doing some thinking, and I'm in." Eric stated Kelso cheered.

"All right."

"Well, you're gonna look like a bunch of idiots." Donna said putting her arm around Eric's shoulders.

"A bunch of naked idiots." Kelso said happily.

"Thanks, Kelso. Look, we must keep this quiet. It can't go beyond this table. If my father finds out what we have planned, he will nail me to the wall." Eric stated.

The six of them shifted into a position of The Last Supper as Jackie came around.

"Why are you all sitting on one side of the table?"

ஐ ஐ ஐ

The day the president was in town everyone was gathered in the Forman's driveway. Babe couldn't stop laughing or giggling the whole time which resulted in Hyde shoving a lollipop in her mouth.

"Okay, when the President starts his speech here. I'll blow my Oscar Mayer whistle and we go." Hyde instructed.

"Did you write, "I hate the fuzz" on your butt?" Eric asked.

"Yeah. Babe, here's your lipstick back." Hyde replied giving Babe her lipstick, she took her hands away from it and grimaced.

"You keep it." She said disgusted.

"You got the masks?" Eric asked Hyde.

"Yeah, I got three Snoopys and one Nixon."

"Not it." Kelso, Hyde and Fez said at the same time.

"Damn. Fez, how'd you know how to do that?" Eric asked incredulously.

"My country invented "not it."" Fez replied.

"So can we go already? I'm itching to release the hound here." Kelso asked excitedly making Babe gag.

"It's go time."

"Oh. Now, look at you guys. What is it with you young people and Colombo?" Mrs. Forman asked.

"Bye." The boys said leaving, Hyde threw his arm around Babe's shoulder making her leave with them.

"Don't get too close. I don't find it comforting knowing that you all aren't wearing any underwear." Babe said once they were out of earshot from Kitty.

"Now it's easier for us to, you know?" Hyde told her with a smirk. She shrugged his arm off and walked away from him closer to Eric.

ஐ ஐ ஐ

Babe walked through hallways, smiling politely at the older people and glaring at the younger crowd. When she found Jackie.

"Jackie!" She yelled out happily, the younger girl smiled and got up to hug her.

"I love your lipstick!" She exclaimed, Babe frowned in nostalgia.

"It's the last time I'll wear it." Babe said sadly. "I love your hair today!"

"My hair is always pretty." Jackie replied before a boy approached her, Babe tuned out the conversation.

"Hey." A deep flirty voice spoke above Babe, she widened her eyes when she realized it was Brett Dunphy. A smile appeared on Babe's lips.

"Hey." She replied, flirting back.

"You never gave me an answer about going on a date with me." He spoke so smoothly, Babe could feel herself growing hot making her sweat slightly.

"I didn't know your question had a due date." She spoke biting her bottom lip with a smile. He laughed and tilted his head back, making a strand of his hair go out of place and onto his forehead.

"I like you." He told her with a smile. "So what do you say. You, me, movie?"

"Sure, here's my number. Call me with a time and date." She told him as she took a pen, she happened to be carrying around and wrote it down on the back of his hand.

"Does it come with a deadline?" This time she laughed and he winked at her, as she shook her head 'no'. "I'll see you later then."

"Bye"

"Excuse me for a moment." Jackie told the boy before turning to Babe who stared up at her. The two girlishly squealed in excitement. Before Jackie turned back to the boy.

"...see you alone like that, so I came over and here you are." The boy Jackie was previously talking continued. As she falsely laughed.

"Hey, you hitting on my girlfriend?" Kelso asked the boy outraged.

"Michael, he's not..."

"Hey, man. You wanna go? Come on." The dude screamed at him.

"Yeah, let's go, cowboy! You are so lucky I'm naked, pal." Kelso yelled as he was being held back by the boys.

"Shut up." Hyde yelled at him.

ஐ ஐ ஐ

Babe walked into the auditorium and sat in the back, as she saw Donna in the front swaying back and forth with her parents, dressed as the stars in the flag. Babe cheered alongside the crowd, before suggestively whistling at Donna. Who glared at her and tried covering her face.

"Hey pumpkin." She heard a voice next to her, Babe looked up and saw her dad standing there with a smile.

"Dad! What are you doing here? You hate almost every single president." She asked him confused, her dad smiled at his own dislikes.

"That's because the majority of them are garbage. Definitely not Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt or Kennedy. And I can't remember the rest, which is why I don't like them." He told her as she nodded along. "Anyways I'm here with Chris Dunphy. You know his kid right? Brett?" He questioned, she sighed and nodded.

"About that, he asked me out on a date."

"That's great, although I was kind of hoping it would be the Forman's kid or that Steven you're always hanging out with." He spoke making Babe widened her eyes.

"Ew dad, definitely not Eric."

"What about Steven?"

"Hey Mr.Ruth." Hyde greeted Babe's father as he and the boys came over to them, they shook hands.

"Hey kid, nice sideburns." Mr.Ruth told him.

"Thanks."

"I'll leave you kids alone, and Everly of course you can go on that date." Mr.Ruth told his daughter with a smile and left.

"You're going on a date?" Hyde asked.

"Yeah with Brett D–" She couldn't finish as she was interrupted by the event starting and people cheering and then groaning when the president fell repeatedly.

A while later and they had reached the Q&A part of the event.

"Now it's time for the "Q" and "A" portion of our program. First up, I'd like to introduce Red Forman. Red is a father of two wonderful children and how he's managed to keep them clothed and fed while being cut back to halftime at the plant is beyond me. But he doesn't blame the President for his misfortune. No, sir. He only blames himself. I give you Red Forman!" They introduced Red, everyone watching in anticipation.

"Mr. President... I... I..." Red stuttered and chocked.

"Your dad is bombing." Kelso told Eric.

"Wee, wee! Pee, pee! Wee, wee! Pee, pee!" Eric shouted as he streaked across the room. Babe widened her eyes before laughing.

"Not bad!" She spoke impressed, before a hand covered her eyes.

"That's enough for you." Hyde told her, as commotion was heard most likely the Secret Service running after Eric. Hyde removed his hand once Eric had left.

"Hey, Gerry, here's my question. How the hell could you pardon Nixon?"  Red asked angrily as the crowd cheered.

ஐ ஐ ஐ