I've never hated Sameer so much before. Yes, not even when he broke up with me. All these days what I felt was sorrow, regret and anger. But right now, I absolutely hate him. And I have my reasons.

In a way, it is because of what he did to me that I'm so afraid of getting into a relationship now. It feels like he has ruined my life forever. Maybe if he had never come into my life or broken my heart or dumped me without giving a proper reason, I could've accepted Zayan's love without overthinking.

Of course, even if the whole Sameer episode had not happened, I would've still had a few other insecurities, but I'm sure things would have been better than now. At least then I wouldn't have had the fear of abandonment.

I have shut myself down completely and I'm unable to accept the fact that any man could ever love me genuinely because of the emotional trauma that Sameer has put me through. He is the main reason why I am so suspicious of Zayan's feelings for me. He is the reason why I constantly keep pushing Zayan away, fearing that he too might leave me one day. And for all what Sameer has done, I hate that moron with every inch of my heart and I hope he rots in hell!

Every time I think of what happened yesterday, I have a heavy heart and my eyes get teary. But since nobody at home knows anything about Zayan, I can't even cry openly. Besides, I don't want my family to ever see me going through another heartbroken episode. So, that is why I've been running to the washroom from time to time to shed my tears.

On one side, I am still mad at Zayan for taking everything so lightly. On the other, I am upset over the way I reacted and the response I gave him. Maybe I wasn't really ready to say 'no' when I said it. But anyway, what's done is done and the whole thing is over. There's no point in regretting anything now.

Somehow, one thing to appreciate out of all this is that Zayan has proved to be better than Sameer in a lot of ways. Soon after I left Second Chance yesterday, he started calling my number but I did not answer. He then dropped a few texts, which I ignored at the beginning. But then later I realized that I was more or less acting like Sameer and I felt ashamed of myself. So, that's why last night, I finally messaged him back.

[4:05 pm] Zayan: Hey
[4:05 pm] Zayan: I'm sorry about whatever that happened
[4:06 pm] Zayan: hope you're okay 😕
[4:30 pm] Zayan: go home safe tc 😊
[9:15 pm] Zayan: I guess u are still angry 😅
[9:17 pm] Zayan: maybe we can talk once u feel better 😊
[10:56 pm] Me: hey all okay...goodnight 🙂
[10:56 pm] Zayan: goodnight 👀

Zayan really seems to be the type of person who puts an effort and tries to fix problems. The kind of guy that I always wanted Sameer to be and which he perfectly failed at. Perhaps this is why I'm sad. I got so close to my happily ever after and yet lost it because of my own bad temper.

Anyway, I don't have the time to sulk over it now. I have a meeting with the boomers at 9:00 am and I must get ready for it. This time, no matter how broken my heart gets, I'm not going to let my emotions interrupt my work!

As always, a very good meeting! I am forever indebted to the boomers for giving me an ego boost every time I visit them. But not even their words of praise are helping me get over this sadness fully. If it were normal times, I could've made a visit to Second Chance under the pretext of work but not today. From now on, I'm not going anywhere near Zayan until there's a real requirement.

I walk into Naomi's cabin and greet her with a, "Hey!" She looks up with her vibrant smile and says, "Hi Ilhaam! Morning meeting today?" I smile and say, "Yup done already. Busy?" I really hope she has some time for me because I kind of want to talk to her. Not about Zayan. But just to share a few words. You know, maybe I'm feeling lonely or something.

"Not at all. I just have one interview today at 3:00 pm and until then I'm absolutely free" says Naomi with a smile. "That's great. Where is Saad?" I ask. She thinks for sometime and says, "He was telling me about some sales appointments. Must have gone to one of those. So tell me, how are things with your perfect guy? Any progress?" Poor Naomi. She sounds eager as always. Little does she know that I have the capability of driving away perfect guys with my overreaction.

"Umm...just the usual" I say when someone shakes my chair. I turn back to find the infant standing behind me. "Saad-Not-Sad! I haven't seen in you in a long time man" I say excitedly. And the first thing he says is, "Why do you look so upset, Ilhaam? Once again a man problem? Are you here looking for the love guru's advice?" Damn! How does he always find out? Is it written on my face? And what do I even tell him? The truth?

"Uh—" I start when Naomi says to Saad, "I thought you were out on your sales visit." With that Saad starts talking endlessly of how his morning appointment got cancelled and that he has no work till noon and so on. Thank God! He is distracted now. I don't have to answer his previous question.

"You got breakfast? I'm so hungry" says Saad to Naomi and she replies, "Aiyo! I had it just a while ago." Then he turns to me and asks the same question. "Dude, why would I carry food with me when I come for a meeting?" I ask with a chuckle. Naomi winks and says, "And her guy's cafe is just two minutes away. She can always go there if she feels hungry." Nope Naomi. That's not my guy. Wrong choice of words. Also, now Saad won't leave me alone!

"What? Ilhaam, you really have a guy at a cafe? Which one? Tell me, tell me!" says Saad, looking all surprised. I shake my head and say, "Second Chance. Not my guy. Just a client." Naomi laughs and says, "Client for now. Very soon to be her boyfriend. He texts her all the time, you know." Oh! How I wish I could openly tell them the truth like back in the Sameer days. It's so hard to maintain secrets about a guy that you like.

"Wow! Then we deserve a treat. What better place than the guy's cafe itself? Come Ilhaam. Let's go. I don't mind cake and coffee for breakfast" says Saad. "Treat? What for?" I ask. "You never gave us a treat for starting your business. And now you have a blossoming love story too. So we deserve to get one, don't we?" asks Saad with a chuckle. Well, I don't mind giving them a treat to celebrate the business. I mean, in a way the whole thing started because of Saad's recommendation. But today won't be the right day for that. Especially not at Second Chance.

"I would love to give you both a treat. But maybe not today" I say awkwardly. Saad says at once, "Why not? I'm free. So is Naomi. This is the best time. Let's go. I'm hungry Ilhaam." I keep hoping for Naomi to say 'no' to this suggestion but all what she says is, "Yeah, let's go. I want to see your guy's perfect jawline." Ugh! Looks like there is no escape.

"Perfect what?" asks Saad, looking confused. I sigh and say, "This guy has a sharp jawline and that's how the whole crush thing started. Anyway, I don't think I even like him anymore. Let's just go somewhere else." Both of them start laughing and Saad says, "Ilhaam, the way you say it, it's obvious that you are madly in love with this jawline guy. This is exactly how you used to speak about that Netherlands dude too. Stop acting. Just take me there and buy me food. In favor, I will flirt with you and make him jealous. Then, perhaps he might admit his feelings for you too. Remember, the last time my tricks worked perfectly well."

Wait. Now, this sounds like a good plan. I mean, there's nothing to make Zayan admit his feelings. He has done that already. But I would love to make him jealous! I mean, intentionally or unintentionally, he did that to me yesterday with Raaya. So, it's only fair that he gets to experience the same, even if we are never going to be in a relationship. At least, I will get the satisfaction of making him understand how much it hurts. "Fine! Let's go" I say.

We enter Second Chance and my heart starts beating faster. I'm reminded of yesterday's incident. I hope nothing goes wrong today. My eyes scan the place and I find Zayan reading in his usual spot. My stomach knots with excitement as soon as I see him, but I try to ignore that feeling.

Saad, who acts as if he hasn't eaten in four days, walks towards the counter. And Naomi asks me in her whispering tone, "Where is he?" I point to Zayan awkwardly, hoping that he doesn't notice but somehow, at the same time, he happens to look in our direction and sees me. Oops! My bad! I'm sure he assumes that I'm here to meet him now. Embarrassing!

I quickly look away and walk upto the counter, holding Naomi's hand. While we stand there, Naomi tells me, "He looks really good, Ilhaam. No wonder you developed a crush on him the day you saw him." Okay, she is kind of loud now. I hope the cafe staff did not hear her. I just smile at her awkwardly when she says, "Oh and he's coming here!" Hell no! What am I going to do now?

Naomi's phone rings and she walks a few steps away to answer it. I try to speak to the infant for distraction but he is too engrossed ordering the food. So, I unlock my phone and meddle with it when I hear Zayan's voice say, "You came. I thought you wouldn't." Okay, he is standing right next to me. I can't ignore him now, can I? So, without raising my head I say, "Yeah, with my friends. As a customer."

"I'm glad you are here, ma'am. Welcome to Second Chance" says Zayan with a chuckle. Ugh! I wanted to make him jealous. But he has already started treating me like a customer. Saad's stupid plan will never work with this smarty-pants!

I just smile and don't respond to Zayan. I turn to the infant and say, "Saad, I'm going over there. Bring Naomi when you come." And guess what the damn love guru does? He looks at me and says, "Sure babe. I will." Babe? What the hell? In which world am I 'babe' to him? This is not making Zayan jealous. This is nonsense. Eww!

In complete shock, without uttering a single word, I walk upto the table. For the next few minutes I don't look up at all because I'm so embarrassed now. Wonder what Zayan thinks of me. Saad is an absolute joke and he has turned me into one too.

Saad and Naomi come to the table with their food and as soon as they sit, I ask, "Dude! What's wrong with you? Why did you call me babe in front of Zayan?" Saad stuffs his mouth with cake and says, "Zayan? Who is that?" Okay, so he didn't even know that my crush was there but still called me 'babe'. What a dumbo! "That's her crush" says Naomi with a chuckle.

"Oh I didn't know that. I was just playing the boyfriend role as promised. Anyway, it's good that he was around. Now, see what happens" says Saad with an impish smile. I eye-roll at him and say, "What will happen? Also, you promised to make him jealous. There was no mentioning of a boyfriend act." Saad laughs and says, "So wait and watch. If my trick had worked even a bit, he will come here in a while and try to talk to us."

I shake my head in denial and say, "Nah, he won't. He is back to his reading table. And even if it happens, how does it prove in any way that he's jealous? He is my client and it is normal for him to talk to me." Saad rolls his eyes and says, "Okay, okay aunty. Even if he is jealous, he is never going to admit it to you. No man does that. But let him come first. Then I will say a few triggering things, watch his behavior and tell you whether he likes you or not."

We continue to talk about office gossip and other personal matters when Naomi says suddenly, "Saad was right. Perfect jawline is coming towards us." I pretend to act normal. But I guess I've already started smiling like a fool. What the hell is wrong with me? I just had a fight with that guy yesterday and here I am today, acting as if nothing happened.

"Hope you like the food" says Zayan. I raise my head to see him smiling at Saad and Naomi. Oh, so he is fully treating me and my friends as customers now. It was I who suggested to him sometime back that he should speak to customers and get on-the-spot feedback from them. "It's great" says Naomi at once and Saad joins in with, "Yeah absolutely." Okay, I feel left out. The three of them are only talking. Perhaps I'm the one who is jealous now.

"Why don't you sit here, bro?" asks Saad pointing at the chair next to me. This is stupid. The infant is doing it so wrong. Zayan and I can't sit next to each other because we are supposed to be angry! How can I make him understand his?

"Sure" says Zayan and sits. And suddenly this looks like a blind date and I feel so uncomfortable. Now that he is close, I have to look at his face when I speak and notice his jawline and stutter too, giving more reasons for the infant to laugh at me.

"Ilhaam, won't you introduce us to your jawline?" asks Saad and I almost choke on my cake. Not even I have mentioned to Zayan about my obsession with his jawline and this guy is about to break it to him so casually. "I..umm..uh" I stutter when Naomi understands my discomfort and says, "So, I'm Naomi and this is Saad. Ilhaam used to work with us before she started her business." Thank God, she is here. I love Naomi! If not for her, I would've had a panic attack by now.

"Aiyo Naomi! Let's give Ilhaam a chance to speak. Babe you go ahead" says Saad, winking at me. He is really trying to put me in trouble, isn't he? I keep frowning at the infant when Zayan asks, "Babe? That's how you call her?" Okay, I know this tone that Zayan is speaking in. He is not a bit jealous. This is rather like a group tease.

"Don't worry. I'm not her boyfriend or anything. Although Ilhaam had a thing for me, I never liked her that way. I used to be only her sidekick at office." says Saad with a chuckle. "And we are in the lookout for a permanent sidekick for Ilhaam who needs to have a sharp jawline. Let us know if there's anyone" he adds. Can people get high by eating cake? He keeps coming up with more and more nonsense. He was definitely saner than this during Sameer days. As of now, Saad is no love guru but a creepy matchmaker aunty!

"Yeah, definitely I will" says Zayan with a chuckle. Before this conversation could get any worse, I say, "Naomi, I think it's time for you guys to head back to office, right? Saad sounds like he is cake-drunk. Hold his hand and take him there." The three of them start laughing, and surprisingly I burst into laughter too. Wonder why I'm not mad at Saad for ruining my image like this. Maybe I missed having such funny conversations with Zayan. Hmph!

Naomi and Saad leave and I turn to Zayan and say, "I'm sorry about that kid. He was worse than my niblings." Zayan smiles and says, "That's okay. He seems to be a fun guy. I must meet with him again." I shake my head and say, "No, you wouldn't want to. Trust me. He can make you go deaf by talking nonsense."

Zayan laughs at first and then asks with a straight face, "But whatever he said about a sidekick with a sharp jawline, is it true though?" I smile awkwardly and walk out of the cafe.

Maybe Saad's tricks failed at making Zayan jealous. But has it helped resolve our problem in some way? Aren't we angry anymore? If only I knew the answers for all these questions in my mind!

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Had to include a Saad chapter because some of you mentioned that you missed him 🌚😂
Hope you liked it 😁♥️

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