After 4 months
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My phone vibrates as I type an email, seated on my bed. It's a text from Naomi,
"Hey!! ♥️ Therapy is going well 😍 how are things with u?"
Yes, she has been meeting Amer for the past few months. Though at first she wasn't willing to give it a try, I convinced her. And then she started going there, and it looks like therapy sessions are really working for her and her husband. She says they don't have problems anymore.

I don't know what it is that Amer does but he seriously has some magic with his words. While his therapy sessions have helped Naomi fix her relationship, it has helped me move on completely. Two different problems and two different solutions — the man knows exactly what to suggest for both!

I have come a long way over the past few months that I feel very grateful every time I think of the things that went wrong in my life. If  my relationship with Sameer had continued, everything about me would have still been mediocre — same old job, same old salary, and same old insecurities. I would have never tried anything new if not for hitting rock bottom — be it going for therapy, reading self-help books, working out or trying my hands in business. Funny, isn't it? How fate changes your plans and then transforms you as a person!

I mean, now that things happened the way they did, I have become fitter than before by losing 11 kgs weight, l have started earning a monthly income that's three times higher than my last salary, and the best part of all is that I have learnt to accept myself the way I am. Like Amer said the insecurities never went away fully. It's still there. But I guess I am able to control it now. In a nutshell, I feel stronger, more independent and happier than ever!

"Good to know therapy is going well ♥️ My hands are just too full with work 😂 enjoying it tho 😋" I text Naomi back.

Apart from handling marketing for my previous workplace and managing IG for Amer's therapy center, I also have two other clients now, who were introduced to me by the boomers from their network. So yeah, when you have to think of the needs of four different companies, you hardly have any time to rest and do nothing. My life has gotten very busy but I am happy about it, because it has also contributed greatly towards moving on from my sad past.

As I continue to type the email, Salima walks into the room. She smiles and says, "Ilhaam, cancel your therapy session or any other plans for tomorrow evening, please. There is a groom and his family coming to see you." Wait, what? This is absurd! What is wrong with my family?

I might have gotten over my breakup but that doesn't mean I am ready for marriage. Over the past few months, I have heard enough and more about men lying, cheating, getting a second wife, or doing something horrible to put women in trauma, that I absolutely despise men now. It's like each day my views about them only get worse, and I sometimes feel that I'm so much better off without a man in my life. I don't think I will ever be ready for marriage. I mean, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself and also totally happy with the way my life is now. So, why do I even need a man, right?

"No one is coming to see me because I don't want to get married" I say bluntly. "Oh come on, Ilhaam. We gave you five months already. It's high time you move on with your life. You can't be thinking of that boy forever" says Salima. Hell no! This isn't about that at all. I am completely over that dumbo and at this point in life, it feels like Sameer-who? I hardly think about him and I don't even feel sad anymore. In fact, I sometimes feel that my breakup is the best thing that has happened to me.

"No, Sally, you don't get it. I've just come out of a relationship trauma. I don't want to get into another one anytime soon. Please try to understand" I say with a sigh. "You don't want to hurt mom and dad, do you? They really want to see you getting settled in life. Won't you do it for them?" asks Salima sadly. Okay, this emotional blackmail in brown families got to stop! Besides, what is this talk about settling in life? Am I not settled enough? Do I need a man particularly for that?

I remain silent, when Salima says again, "Okay since you won't listen to any of us, how about you talk to your therapist about this? Maybe if he asks you to give it a try, you can consider." Well, now that sounds like a good plan. Maybe I should just talk to Amer and decide.

"Okay. I will be going there today. I will ask him" I say and Salima leaves the room with a smile.

I walk into the therapy room to find Amer scribbling something on his notebook. Generally he would be sitting straight with a wide smile. Wonder what it is!

"Hey, Ilhaam! Take a seat" he raises his head and says as I get close to my usual chair. "You seem to be a little busy" I say. He smiles and says, "Not really. It's about the event I asked you to update on IG. Was making a few notes on that. How are things with you? I think I saw a sad post on your FB today. Everything's alright?"

Okay, becoming friends with your therapist on Facebook is worse than having your parents in your friend list, I tell you. I used to share so many sad posts on my feed back then, remember? I don't do it anymore. And the reason is Amer.

Ever since I added him, he has been keeping an eye on my posts and whenever I walk in for therapy, he starts telling me how useless it is to share sad posts or to announce my sorrow to the entire world. Even though he was right, at first I was reluctant to stop. But then, his questions started pestering me so much that at one point, I decided I won't share them anymore, and I unliked all the sad pages. And now, thanks to him, I only share memes. Actually, memes are nicer too. They make me laugh and my FB friends even call me a 'meme queen' now!

Anyway, to my knowledge, I haven't shared anything sad today. Oh I think I know what he is talking about! "That was just a poem. Not a sad post" I tell him. He laughs and says, "I know. I was just kidding." I roll my eyes. My therapist can be a total nutcase at times!

"Let's talk about Sameer today, shall we?" asks Amer. Okay, that's weird. All these days, when I wanted to do it, he kept avoiding it. And now suddenly, why does he want to discuss about a dead topic?

"Seriously, why after all this time?" I ask. "Do you know that you haven't mentioned his name to me in the last two weeks? That indicates you have moved on to a great extent, and are ready for this discussion" says Amer with a smile.

"So you talk to your clients about their exes only after they completely move on? But in movies I've seen quite the opposite" I say. Amer laughs and says, "Not with all clients. With some of them, like you've seen in movies, it is important to talk about it at the beginning itself. But your case was different. A few things that you are ready to hear now would've triggered a wrong move from your side, if we had discussed this earlier."

Okay, now he is plain confusing me. "What do you mean?" I ask. "See, when you first started coming here, you were in a different state of mind. I am sorry to tell this but you were an emotional mess" says Amer with a smile. "No offense taken. I know I'm a mess" I reply back with a chuckle.

"No, I said you "were". You are not that anymore. Look at you. You are a changed person now. At the beginning, the only thing that you constantly spoke about was how much you missed Sameer and how you wished that he came back to you and so on. But over the past few weeks, I noticed a change in you. You weren't mentioning such things anymore. So, that's why we are about to discuss this today" says Amer with a smile.

"But what's the point in talking about something that's over? I mean, I don't even care about it anymore. So, wouldn't it be just a waste of time?" I ask. Amer smiles and says, "The phase where Sameer was important to you is over. It doesn't mean it's the end of all romantic relationships in your life. You are yet to experience those. So, it is important that you take a few lessons from the past before you move onto that stage. Otherwise you will end up making the same mistakes again."

Wait, what? Me making mistakes? It was all Sameer's faults! Not mine! And why is this dude suddenly talking about relationships as if he knows already about the proposal Salima was talking about. "Okay go on" I say.

Amer says, "You often used to ask me why Sameer suddenly left you, right? Let me answer that first. Soon after a breakup, the fear of being alone without a partner kicks in for some  people and the complex emotional stress they go through, makes them look for love in the arms of a new person, whether they are ready for it or not. We call it a 'rebound relationship' and such relationships hardly last long, because they are started as temporary solutions for bigger issues. As to what I remember, Sameer claimed to be in love with you just 2-3 weeks after his breakup, right? So that clearly shows you were a rebound to him. That's why your relationship was so fast-paced and dream-like at the beginning but ended too soon."

"Right. So how is any of it my mistake?" I ask. "It was majorly Sameer's fault. He fell in love before he even healed. On your part, the only mistake you did was that you saw a lot of red flags like his unhealthy obsession with his ex, yet you chose to ignore them. Now, it could've been because it was your first love. So, probably you didn't know. But I want you to take a lesson out of this. The next time you are interested in a guy, check for these signs. If it looks anything like a rebound, it is best that you avoid it."

"Okay" I say and Amer continues to speak, "A few other things I noticed about your past is that you were overly possessive and quick to jump into conclusions. Now, again, it's a very common thing when a person is in love. But, if you could try and avoid it, things will be better for you."

"What do you mean? I reacted the way I did because his ex was all over his IG. So you are telling me there was nothing between them at all?" I ask. If it was earlier times, I would be either crying or using an angry tone, but right now it's neither — I can sense myself being super calm. Sameer has become just a boring history class topic for me now, I guess. Hopefully I will forget his entire existence soon!

"You saw a simple 'like' on his social media and you decided that he was back with this ex. His replies were late and you decided he was with someone else. But to this day, you are not sure of any of those accusations you made against him, are you?" asks Amer. Well, the truth is, no. I just guessed all of it. So, I say, "No, but all those were instincts. Could've been true."

Amer smiles and says, "Could have been. I am not trying to prove in any way that he was innocent. Maybe he did you dirty. But the approach you took was a little too much. You could've talked things out calmly, without blaming him. When you did that, you appeared needy. And neediness pushes people away. See, the thing is, this is not about how you acted with Sameer. You don't have to regret about the past. But if you don't try to change a few things now, there are chances of you ruining a future relationship too."

"I don't get your point" I say looking confused. Amer says, "The next time, if any of this happens, take a step back and think. Don't be too quick to judge. If a guy doesn't reply fast to your messages once in a while, try to understand that maybe he is busy. If it happens repeatedly, then you confront him. But again, in a diplomatic way and not acting out of emotions."

Well, as always, he does make sense. But what if there is no 'next time' for me? I sigh. Amer asks, "Now that you know you overreacted too, do you feel like going back to Sameer, looking for a second chance?"

"Ewww no! I am happier without him. Glad that he is no more part of my life! Can't believe you asked me that question" I say. Amer laughs and says, "This is exactly why I waited till this moment to discuss it. Had we talked about it during the first weeks, you would've definitely tried to contact him again."

"True enough!" I say with a chuckle, and I ask, "Do you think I am ready for marriage now?" Amer raises his eyebrows and says, "I don't know. You tell me." Well, that's a dumb answer. A person who knows so much, doesn't know this?

"How do you not know?" I ask. "Ask yourself Ilhaam, whether you have healed completely. If the answer is 'yes', then you are ready for it. As to what I see, you are making good progress but whether you are healed enough to get into another relationship is something that only you will know. You should feel it. If you can't figure it out at this point, don't worry. Eventually you will. Perhaps when you are put in a situation, you will know" says Amer.

"So you are telling me I should meet this unknown guy my parents are trying to bring tomorrow?" I ask. Amer thinks for a while and says, "You can give it a try. It's after all just a meetup. Anyway, just seeing someone once won't tell you anything about your healing status. But maybe you could get a few hints in the way you feel afterwards." I just nod reluctantly because this is clearly not the kind of response I expected. Looks like I will have to put up with tomorrow's drama. My family will be happy!

"Okay, so with that Ilhaam, I must tell you, you are done with therapy. Congratulations!" says Amer with a wide smile, interrupting my thoughts. I stare at him in shock.

"So you are asking me to stop coming here?" I ask. There is a genuine touch of sadness in my voice. Man, I am going to miss these therapy sessions! Amer smiles and says, "Actually, there is no need for you to come back again for therapy. But you will have to occasionally visit for a different reason. Since you have been doing a great job with IG, I thought perhaps I should officially start paying you for your services and make you handle all our marketing needs."

"No, you don't have to. I am more than happy to do it for free. You have helped me a great deal and this looks like the only way I could repay your kindness" I say. Amer laughs and says, "What are you running? A charity? Don't be silly. Just let me know your rates. I am asking for it only because I can afford it. Now, if you really want to repay me, there's something else that you could do. You want me to tell you what it is?"

"What?" I ask. "Spread kindness and positivity wherever you go, Ilhaam. Be kind for no reason at all, even with people you hate — like those aunties and cousins of yours. Give back to the society whenever possible. This is what the world requires and this is what I expect you to do from now on. You offering me your services for free is not going to make an impact in any way" says Amer with a smile.

God, I wish I could think and speak like Amer some day. He is literally like a walking self-help book. "Okay, I will try. For your information, I haven't created a scene with those meanies for a while now. So, though I can't even imagine being nice to them, I will try it for the sake of you" I say with a smile.

"That's great! Oh, one more thing, Ilhaam. I would like you to speak for a few minutes at the event tomorrow. Let's say for 10 to 15 minutes? Possible?" asks Amer. Wow. Did he just ask me to join him on stage to talk to a large audience about mental health? This is huge! Besides, it's in the evening. If I agree to do it, maybe I can use it as an excuse to escape the bride-seeking drama.

"But that's a paid thing, isn't it? Aren't you afraid that I might ruin the event? I mean, I've never spoken in front of a large audience before, though it's always been one of my dreams to do it" I say.

Amer says, "Nah, I don't think you will ruin it. I have my trust in you. Give it a try. It would be a good experience." I sigh and say, "But I know nothing about mental health. What do I even talk about?"

Amer smiles and says, "I will let you decide on the topic. Just let me know by tonight whether you want to do it or not."

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Woot woot! 👀 I am bringing in a new guy for Ilhaam in the next chapter 😛🙌🏾 Hope I can make him a likeable character unlike Sameer 😂

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