Since last night I've been trying to avoid all negative thoughts about Aisha's 'like' on Sameer's picture but somehow, I can't seem to get it out of my head.

Right now, I'm at office and I'm still thinking of it. I know I shouldn't be taking it so seriously because even I have random guys liking my posts but then that's the difference, isn't it?

The guys on my profile are random and none of them are my exes. When a person you've been in love with for 5 years interacts with you, it will feel special, isn't it?

So yeah, these have been my thoughts for the past few hours. What if Aisha is back? What if she has finally spoken to her parents about wanting only Sameer and they've agreed too? What if the feelings Sameer has for Aisha are stronger than what he has for me?

I know I'm obviously overthinking and that I can speak to him directly about it but I'm also afraid it might create unnecessary problems between us.

It's not like he will get angry. He will understand me. He knows about my insecurities. But maybe it is best that I don't speak about it.

Besides, I also have a lot of other important things to worry about like how I have only two and a half months to submit my assignment. I'm always a last-moment person when it comes to assignments but this time it's worse than the other times because I haven't even started yet!

I keep working when I realize the infant is indirectly begging for some attention. He is not exactly saying what it is. But it is evident that he is onto something new and desperately wants someone to notice it.

He has this fake-serious look as if he's about to make a significant business decision, but it only looks funny to me. Whenever he does this, I ignore him but not today. After all I need some distraction too.

So, I ask, "What's going on? You look pretty tensed." And that's it. He has finally got what he wanted. He turns and I know he is about to answer my question like a-child-that-loves-talking-more-than-anything.

"James asked me to choose a spot for our annual staff outing. Trust me it's a lot of work. I have to do my research first and then write a convincing email to the management too, explaining why I chose what" he says. Okay typical.

First of all, ideally this is HR's duties but in our office, those guys don't like to write emails because of their poor English skills, so James volunteers to do it for them and he has this habit of always assigning unimportant work to a junior scapegoat – which used to be me before Saad joined.

Second, only this infant could make such a huge fuss out of something so small. I mean, it's just an outing spot. Nothing big. Give the management a few choices that you like and they will always only approve the cheapest option!

And third, the outing isn't happening anytime soon either but in this office we are so used to planning for months and creating a big hype about almost nothing.

"Aiyo! Why research for this Saad? Just suggest a hotel for lunch buffet. That's what the boomers like" I say with a chuckle. The infant gives me one of those funny-serious looks of his and says, "No, this time they want it to be different, James told me. More like a trip than just dining out."

Oh poor boy! That's what they say all the time. But he is so gullible that he believes it to be true.

Should I tell him the truth and burst his bubble? Nah, he seems to enjoy doing this. Let me not spoil it for him. "So what are your options?" I ask.

"I have a few spots in mind: Kithulgala for white water rafting, Yala for safari camping, Galle or Trinco for beaches, somewhere like Ella for a good view and hike or a bungalow in Nuwara-Eliya if they want just a change of place and climate. What do you say?" asks Saad with gleaming eyes.

Awww! So much of excitement, I can see that. Okay, now I have to burst his bubble or he will just end up using all his knowledge from Geography class to write a fantasy email. Poor thing.

I laugh and I say, "Listen Saad, the boomers will never approve any of these. Stop wasting your time and give a few hotel names in Colombo." The infant shakes his head as if to disapprove and asks, "But why do you say so? Aren't these spots good enough for them?"

Is this boy really stupid or is he just pretending to be dumb? Doesn't he know already why I said that?

"These spots are great but not for boomers. More than half of this office are old people and they would end up dying if you ask them to do rafting or hiking! Plus, we will need at least 2 days for a trip like this and it will also cost a lot, so you won't get the budget approval."

Phew! I sound like one of those old aunties advising young people unnecessarily. Why do I have to even comment on his work?

Wait, am I turning into a nosy aunty because at the end of the day, I'm also somehow a brown family product, so it's natural for me to have and develop those qualities too, right? Eww!

"Damn man, you're so negative!" says Saad. I shake my head and say, "Nah, I'm just being realistic. I know more than you do because of my experience."

Oh crap! Yet another aunty line. I should seriously stop.

"Fine aunty! Let me just shoot my shot and see" says Saad and I reply "sure!" and we both get back to work.

It's 5:10 pm and I'm about to leave office. Most of them have left. But Saad and Naomi don't look like they want to go home. They are pointing at the laptop screen and talking so excitedly about the outing locations.

I peep in too just to see what's happening. Wow he has made a nice business-proposal-like document to attach for his office outing email. So much of enthusiasm and dedication — only newbies have it!

I used to be this too when I joined, though now I don't have that spark anymore. It probably happens to everyone when they get used to a work surrounding and normally people seem to be okay with it.

But I kind of miss my old self who was very competitive about work. It was a different time. Work always got the best of me. I didn't have to worry about the possibility of my boyfriend going back his ex because of a simple Instagram 'like'.

Oh there you go! I'm thinking of it again. I quickly bid goodbye to the two of them and walk out, trying to push away the negative thoughts.

I reach home feeling exhausted after the bus ride. Still successful in not creating a scene about Aisha's 'like' by the way.

When I am about to enter my room, mom calls me to the kitchen. Wonder what it is. What's so important that can't wait for a little longer until I change my clothes?

"Yes, mom?" I ask her and she says, "Grandma is coming home now. She will be staying for 2-3 days and she will be sharing the room with you."

Alright, that news sucks big time! I'm not fond of my grandma. Mom knows it very well. Everyone at home are aware of my dislike for her. How can she expect me to share my room with her?

Now, outsiders might think that I'm a mean person if they hear me say this but trust me, my grandmother is nothing like others' grandmothers. She doesn't love me. She has never been that sweet, friendly person with whom I could share a few stories and laugh with.

I mean, my mom being her daughter, is her complete opposite. My mom is super cool to my niblings. But grandma — she's just a judgmental person with some favorites among her grandchildren and I'm certainly not one of them. She likes Salima though. Probably because she's pretty and perfect which I'm not.

Every time I hear my friends speak about how cool and loving their grandmothers are, I keep wishing that I had a grandmother like that too. But I guess I can't blame only her. We've both equally contributed for the mutual dislike because I'm not a loving grand-daughter either.

I don't even check on her unlike Salima who makes time to call her up every now and then to ask after her health. I mean, it's so hard to pretend to love people you dislike, isn't it? So I never bother to do any of those things which brown families expect me to do.

As I keep thinking of how horrible the next few days are going to be, mom throws another bomb, "And I don't want you to be seen talking to or about Sameer when she is around. She doesn't know about him yet so it won't look good."

Wait wait wait. What the hell? Now, I'm supposed to stop calling Sameer at night because my grandmother won't like it? That's unfair!

Plus, why hasn't my mom informed her about it yet? Does my family think I'm just imagining a boyfriend and he doesn't even exist? Oh God!

"Why haven't you told her yet?" I ask and mom says, "We haven't told anyone because we are yet to run the background check on him. Once Salima and Zafar do that and we decide that this is the one, we can inform."

Wow, so my family is still not sure that Sameer is the one for me? Is it because I introduced him to them? This is the thing when you are the youngest child — no one trusts your choices.

Anyway, it's not like I even care about a bullshit background check, but if it's so important to them, why can't they just do it already? I mean hello, it's been a month since I told them about us.

If Salima could make time to go comfort stupid Aneeka, why can't she push her husband to inquire about Sameer and make her own sister happy?

I'm super mad at my family right now. It's like they don't care about me. I mean, if it's a broker-brought-proposal they would've treated it with more seriousness and would've done the background check within one or two days.

No matter what they find, now there's no going back in this relationship. I love Sameer and I will only marry him! If they reject him at this point, I'm at least going to elope with him, even though I know that's a very stupid thing to do.

Okay, grandma came a while ago and I only smiled with her. Didn't even greet her. God, my people skills are reaching a new low everyday. She will probably comment about it to mom later.

But I gave her my bed though. And I'm sleeping on the floor now, which is a commendable act, I would say.

I thought having to pretend to sleep early and not being able to talk to Sameer would be the worst thing about grandma's stay but boy was I wrong! She just switched off the fan because it's cold for her and now it's so warm and suddenly even Aisha's 'like' doesn't matter to me anymore.

I just want to cry out loud right now because of the fan deprivation!

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Let's just hope Ilhaam survives without a fan 😬😂

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