So the first half of the class I couldn't concentrate because of the colorism ads and the next half was spoilt by Sameer's family picture. It's not just the family being fair but his mom kind of looks cruel.

She looks like one of those people you would not want to associate with because you fear they might say something rude. What if she hates me? I'm so terrified after seeing it that I still haven't responded to him.

Ideally, I should be on a call with Sameer now because that's what what happens daily when I'm on the bus, but to be honest, I'm not in a mood for it after everything that has happened today. Everything feels so weird and scary!

I keep scrolling through Instagram when I get a message from Sameer, "babe is everything alright? U ignored my last message 🤨" I smile the moment I read it. I know it's nothing much but the mere thought of conversing with him makes me happy.

I will be devastated if his family rejects me. In fact I will never get married if we both don't tie the knot.

As I keep thinking of an excuse for not responding, I get another message from him, "Can I call you? 😘" and this time, I reply back "sure." The very next second Sameer calls and I answer.

"Babe, how was the class?" asks Sameer in his most caring tone. "Not bad" I reply in the driest tone possible.

"Is everything alright? You don't sound very good. Is it something to do with your assignments?" he asks and before I could reply he says, "If you need any help with completing them, just tell me, yeah?"

Awww he really loves me. He can spot the slightest change of tone in me and he even cares about my studies' progress. My heart aches as I think of the possibility of losing him.

"Nah everything is fine" I say. "Okay, if you say so. Checked my family photo? What do you think of mom?" he asks.

Wow! Does he really want me to respond to that? What do I say? That she looks like someone who will comment nasty things about my skin tone?

"Your mom looks—" I start and before I could finish he asks, "My mom looks very beautiful, doesn't she?"

Okay first of all, this one looks like a mama's boy, so, obviously he will listen to what she says. Second of all, he's right, she is good-looking — and of course with beauty comes arrogance. So yeah, she's really going to reject me!

There's nothing else I could say anyway so I reply, "Yeah she does." And as if to confirm my fears he says, "I love my mom. She is the most important person in my life."

Right, so there's nothing wrong in that statement. I love my family too. But for some reason I'm annoyed.

At the rate he loves his mom, he might ditch me anytime for her, won't he? And if she is the most important person, then what am I?

"Then don't you love me?" I ask. "Of course I do babe. You both are equally important to me" he says with a chuckle. SMOOTH!

After talking about some insignificant random things, I finally gather the courage to speak about the colorism issue. "So what if your mom rejects me? Would you fight with her for me or just leave me?"

He doesn't reply for sometime. He just laughs. Typical dude trying to evade questions I guess.

"I can never fight with mom" says Sameer and my blood boils. So, that's it? He will leave me if she asks him to? Is that what he's indirectly saying?

I know it's bad to judge people without even knowing them but I already hate this woman. Even if we get married I don't think I will ever get along with her.

"And my mom will never reject you" adds Sameer. "But what if she does because—" I stop mid way and he continues, "because what?"

"Because I'm brown-skinned and your entire family is fair" I reply, trying to hold back my tears. Without saying anything, he laughs.

Okay, now I'm mad. Is my pain a joke to him? "What's so funny?" I ask in a rough tone. Uh-oh! That came out a little too harsh. Looks like we are about to have our first fight. And I used to think that we will never fight! Pathetic!

"Because it is funny how a girl as modern as you are talks about complexion like it even matters" says Sameer. Wow, so he belongs to that category of people who likes to live in a bubble thinking that colorism does not exist. Seriously, am I in love with such an indifferent fool?

"It matters Sameer — to some people it does and I'm afraid whether your mom is one of them" I say. "Forget about my mom. I'm the one who is in love with you and I don't give a damn about it. I myself am tan. So what's the big deal?" says Sameer.

I know I should be happy with his response but I'm still not convinced. So, I stay silent and he says once again, "truly Ilhaam, your skin color does not matter in any way. I love you for everything you are. To me you are perfect. My family will never comment on that and if they do, I will handle it." Now, that's beautiful!

For so long my family has told me not to worry about my skin color but strangely their words have never made an impact on me. But suddenly when Sameer said that, it feels like a huge pain is lifted off my chest.

"Thanks babe. You will have to deal with a lot of my insecurities like this in the future" I say with a chuckle to which he replies, "I'm ever ready babe because I love you."

Despite the things that happened today, I feel pretty great after the call with Sameer. I'm happy! I should watch a romantic comedy and keep the memento going.

So, I search for movies on Google and realize that I've almost watched everything. I keep scrolling further when I find one named 'The Five-Year Engagement'. Wow, sounds like our life. That's the one!

Alright, so the movie is about Tom, a sous-chef and Violet, a PhD graduate, happily engaged after their first anniversary but because Violet has to go away to Michigan for her post-grad program, their marriage gets delayed for two years. In order to avoid the problems of a long-distance relationship, Tom decides to move to Michigan too and tries to find a new job there, even after finding out that his boss was about to make him head chef.

Wow! Will Sameer ever do this for me? I don't think so. I guess one will have to possess the beauty of Emily Blunt to receive such sacrifice from a man. Anyway, why do I have to sulk over a movie love story? At least I've got a man who loves me for who I am. Dramatic sacrifices are not essential.
~~~
A few minutes into the movie and now there are problems between the two because Violet's program is supposed to extend for a few more years and Tom is upset about that. Would this happen to us too? Oh crap! Never knew romantic comedies can make me feel this uncertain about my own future!
~~~
Okay, wait what? Violet kisses another guy? I'd never do that! And she confesses it to Tom and he doesn't trust her anymore. This is getting bad. Oh and they just called off their engagement!
~~~
Now they are both in different relationships and not even happy about it. Do these things happen in real life too? I don't know why but I'm feeling sad watching this. For some reason I feel like this might be me and Sameer some day.

Maybe because for the first time in my life I've got something I really wanted and now I'm scared whether God will take it away from me. I hope this movie has a happy ending. Half an hour more — there has to be something, right?

As I keep thinking of how the movie might end, I hear a car honking. What the hell? It's 9:00 pm. Who could it be at this time?

Ugh I hope it's not relatives for our house. I'm so not ready to meet them right now. Maybe visitors for the neighbors' place. May be. May be.

Okay, so they are actually our visitors. Mom talks to them like they are close relatives but I've never even met them. Why would distant relatives just show up so randomly? Just crazy! Apparently they are uncle and aunty to me and they are here to invite us for a wedding next month.

The oldies keep talking to each other as I stand there totally zoned out. I feel so impatient to go and finish my movie but I can't do it. It's not like I'm even talking to these people. But I'm supposed to at least make an appearance, otherwise it will be considered rude says mom.

"Next will be Ilhaam's wedding, isn't it? Better lose some weight before that, child" says the aunty. Typical. Commenting on my size for the sake of making conversation.

The wedding will be more of these comments. I'm not going!

Okay, they just left and I'm back at my movie. Aww and things are finally turning around. Tom and Violet — both have broken up with their other partners and as always there's last moment realization.

Violet proposes to Tom and there's even a scene of an impromptu wedding! I'm so glad it's a happy ending.

I can't pray enough that my relationship with Sameer keeps growing stronger with years like Violet's and Tom's and we both too end up together and live happily-ever-after!

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Any thoughts about Sameer's character development? Still hating him? 😅

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