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*** Karis' POV***

Finn and Rex. Oh my god. So fucking cute. My heart beats a little happier as the tale of their beginning replays in my mind for the whole drive.

"You're smiling." Vance grips my hand in his as he drives. I nod and turn my smile towards him.

"Their just so cute. I love it." My mind reels knowing that there is that level of love out there.

"Tell me all about it." Vance probes me. I know he means it.

"I just. That type of love is what fairytales are made of. Every girl's fantasy." That thought sobers me. Yeah, fantasy. I was that little girl. I looked at love from the ground while it sat high above me on an unreachable pedestal. No one explains that every failed attempt drives that perch higher until it is truly unattainable.

"No. No. We aren't doing that. Don't frown darling. I don't love that." Vance wipes his thumb against the corner of my lips.

"Just thinking." I shrug. All I do is think. I over analyze and dissect my every mistake. It's a huge flaw. One of my many, it has caused a lot of my problems.

Twice. If it happens once, then maybe you're not the problem. But, twice. Yeah that definitely leaves me holding the proverbial bag.

"What you're thinking, it's wrong. You're wrong." Rex shakes his head at my silent assessment.

"You can't possibly know what I'm thinking." I turn my head towards the window. My good moment is stomped down by my own thoughts.

"You're impossible. You used to be fun. What happened to the girl who enjoyed drinking? I miss that person. You have changed." He opens his beer as he perches himself at his bar in our garage.

"I have changed. I matured. The problem is, you have not." I stand beside the door, ready to bolt inside when he dismisses me.

"I'm not going to change. I live life. I love partying. You knew that. I don't want to end up like everyone I know. They let their lives change. Their all boring." His attention isn't on me as he turns the game on. He talks to me with his back facing me.

"I don't want you to change. I don't want to be compared to everything you loathe. You're fine. We're fine. Sorry." I open the door and slip inside.

Sometimes, I feel like it is my fault. I fell in love with him for who he is not who he would become. I did change. It is my fault. I can't do anything right.

I put my ear buds in. I need to escape.

I watch as he walks back in. His lips move as he comes through the hallway.

"What?" I ask with annoyance. I slip my earbuds out. He always does this. He knows I listen to music most of the day.

"You always have those fucking ear buds in. Never mind. Just listen to your depressing music. You never have time for what I say." Turning around, he heads back to the garage.

Once again, failure. I'm always the reason. I'm the issue. My head taunts me that I can't get it right.

"You think that it's your fault. I'm sure some of it could be attributed to a misstep. But, that doesn't mean you are to blame. Sweetheart, a lot of times, things don't go as we plan them. That doesn't necessarily equate to failure. Not everything in life is permanent. Too many times we hold on to stepping stones believing they are the final destination. Did you ever think that maybe those journeys weren't the actual voyage? Maybe they were your detours on the way to your final destination." Vance parks the truck in front of his building and meets me on my side.

"I know you're right. I'm trying to get those points through my head. I'm a perfectionist. I just want to know what I did wrong. I don't want to end up in the same place over and over again. Yet, that's what I did. Twice." I admit how I feel because it is exactly the truth.

"That's perfectly acceptable. However, when it is destroying already broken pieces, you aren't allowing yourself to heal. You deserve to heal. You deserve happiness. You will get that happily ever after." Vance runs his hands through my hair and pulls my bun down as he massages my head.

"I'm adjusting. It hasn't been too long ago. I just have to figure it out." I grab his hands and release their hold in my hair. I don't feel like sweet words right now. I already delved into the darkest area of my thoughts. The depth is overwhelming. I know I'm on the verge of drowning. Again. Always struggling, drowning and gasping for air.

I will my sad tears to stay caged. My brain doesn't help with the weight that grows the closer we get to his door. I feel desperate for air as I gasp to take in the calming supply.

"Okay. This is what we are going to do." Vance pulls me through his house as I chastise myself for my weaknesses. He is going to leave me alone after this. That's a given. I'm too damaged to be of any use.

I blink back the water that is trying desperately to escape my eyes. I can feel the thump of the headache as it makes its way into my head.

I just want to be normal. No one feels this way a year later. I don't even miss him. I just grieve the loss. The torrential loss of so many years of effort. So long I waited for him. For what? To be exactly where I was seven years before. Only this time, I'm more broken. More scars litter my soul. More pieces were left behind with someone who couldn't care less that he holds so many of my memories. Wasted time.

I choke out a violent sob from the escaping panic. My heart rapidly slams against my rib cage. It's desperate to leave the prison of my body. Don't worry, so am I.

"Breathe. Come on sweet girl. Breathe." His hands touch my skin. They feel like an unwanted fire. Consuming and assaulting, their overwhelming. I want so badly to escape. I don't want to feel.

"I'm. Sor. Ry." I gag on the words that should be second nature to me.

"Shhhh. That's ridiculous. Calm down love. Everything is fine. You cry until you feel better." He wraps his arms around me. I feel the bed meet my side. He encases me in his embrace. I take my breaths as large as I can manage.

"You're doing great. Just breathe." Soothing words, that cover my scars like healing ointment, anoint the air.

"You're a really good therapist." I chuckle into his chest.

"I'm a nurturing man. I want to help you." His lips touch my forehead. I lean in with a sigh.

"See. There you go, baby girl. Just like that." I smile into his chest and pull him closer. God. I'm so fucking needy.

"Nope. Not again. Once a day." Vance lifts my lips to his and kisses me softly. The kiss is like a seal on my depression.

"We didn't go shopping." I whisper.

"We will. That's not important at the moment. You're going to find your happy place before we leave this house again."

I want to say your my new happy place. I don't because I'm scared to admit that out loud. I nod instead and continue taking cooling breaths.

"Now. Do you have any idea of how amazing you are? Because I know you don't, I'm going to tell you." Vance looks me in the eyes while he clasps my hands. He lays down in front of me.

"You're beautiful. Not just physically. You are really gorgeous aesthetically. It is your inner beauty though. It's breathtaking. I don't know how you have been treated. I can tell you this, I don't like it. No one deserves to dislike themselves as much as you seem to loathe yourself. I'm going to change that. I'm going to make you realize how spectacular you are. I'm smitten by you Karis. Absolutely and unashamedly crushing on you." I reach my hands forward and pull him into me. His words make me want to kiss him. So, I do.

He pushes me down and nestles his knee between my thighs as he climbs over me. Vance steals my soul with his kiss. I tangle my hands in his hair and hold him to me like mana. A source of everlasting life.

His kiss is dominant and it lights my body in electricity. His hands cup my cheeks. He gives so I take. Greedily I drink from the devastating perfection of a man.

"Karis. I just want you to know, I'm not planning on letting you go. So, take as much time as you feel is necessary. I'm planning on being around for all of it and more." He comes down and takes my lips again with a sexual desire that crawls down my throat. His tongue chases it as it escapes to my chest.

"If you're trying to charm me, it's working." I kiss him again. Then, I kiss him again for good measure.

"I'm just telling you my truths. What you choose to do with them is what decides where we end up." His words shouldn't mean a single thing to me. I should know better. But, hope blooms in a tiny flicker somewhere deep inside of me.

"I'm ready to go to the store." I smile as he rubs his thumbs over my cheek bones.

"Then by all means, let's go." Vance stands up and takes my hand. He pulls me back through the house to his truck.

We head off in the direction of our mall. I think through what I can possibly get that will fit in at his club.

"I'm picking your outfit out. You can veto my choices, but you won't want to. You're going to feel as beautiful as you are. That's a promise." Vance kisses my hand. I smile in acceptance.

What could it hurt?

I should have been more weary.

"Nope." I shake my head aggressively. Whatever this thing he is holding is, it's a fucking no.

"Try it on. If you aren't feeling it after that, we can find something else." I groan as I snatch the material that is barely considered clothing.

I go into the dressing room feeling less than excited about his choice. I'm not huge by any means. I'm also not small, at all. This is definitely something that I have no business putting on.

I strip out of my comfort clothes and begin the task of unscrambling this thing that Vance seems so keen on me putting on. It takes ten minutes to fully dress. Even then I can't finish.

"Vance." I whine out.

"Yes, baby doll." I can hear the smile.

"Please get in here and help." The door opens. He looks me over. I can't even tell you what I look like. I refuse to look.

"Have mercy on my soul." Vance kisses my neck as he helps me finish up.

"Have you looked at yourself?" Vance spins me around. I immediately cover my face.

"Oh no. This you have to see. Fuck." Vance takes my hands down. He turns me towards the mirror. I stare in the mirror at someone I don't recognize.

Not bad. At all. I'm a little cute. Maybe a tiny bit sexy. Just a bit.

"I want to devour you." Vance grips my hips and stands behind me. I look at him through the mirror.

He's so ridiculously gorgeous. I pale in comparison.

"I can't wait to show you off. Is this okay?" Vance turns me toward him. He stares at me. I blush and nod my head.

"Perfect. Let's go get you some heels and then off to get a collar. No fucking way anyone is thinking you are accessible." I push him out of the dressing room as I roll the scanty clothing off and straighten it out.

I slip back into my own clothes feeling way less attractive now that I have seen what I can look like. I walk back out and hand them to him.

"Let's go." I follow him to the counter. He slides his credit card as we grab our bags.

We head to another store. I grab a pair of decent heels. I want something sexier but I have no idea how my feet are going to handle our plans tonight.

We leave the mall. Vance takes us to a high rise across town. I'm positive it is just offices but, we head in anyways.

"A personal friend." Vance pulls me along as we make our way to the elevator.

"I'm so excited for tonight." Vance offers me a smile. I cant refuse returning it.

"I'm a little excited. A lot nervous." I admit. Vance squeezes my hand. He slides his arm around my waist. He holds me close as we make our way to wherever we are headed.

"Is this the lady who has brought you here?" A very handsome man spins me around and hugs me.

"As a matter of fact, yes." Vance beams as the man gives him an approving nod.

"I can see why you need this collar." The man hands Vance a box and takes a credit card from Vance's hand.

"Just be careful." The man gives Vance a receipt. They shake hands.

"Will I see you at The Vault tonight?" Vance questions.

"Wouldn't miss it. Your big reveal." The man claps his hands and waves as we walk away.

"Is he a member?" I question.

"Oh yes. For years. He met his husband there." Vance leads me back to the truck and we leave.

"Are you keeping it a secret?" I allude to the collar.

"After dinner we will head to the club to change. So, for now, yes." Vance smiles at me. I nod agreeably.

We go to a small diner. I am thankful for the low key dinner. I'm not in the mood to face another fancy restaurant today.

After dinner, we go back to Vance's. I shower to get ready to be his claim for the evening. This should be interesting.