Me: *is absent from bus*
Jayden: meh, I don't have an aunt in middle school...
Me: *chasing after bus with Taylor and another kid*
Jayden: Yay the bus is going
Bus: *stops*
Me: *pants as she climbs into the bus*
Jayden: Who's that?

Me: *sits in very back of bus due to lack of open female seats*
High Schoolers: *playing loud and inappropriate music*
Jasmine: Want a gumball?
Me: Sure
Jasmine: *hands red gumball*
Me: *eats*
Me: *stops chewing* This doesn't have anything weird in it, right?
Jasmine: No... *muttering* nothing but alcohol...
Me: WAIT WHAT?!
Jasmine: Nothing!

Random Kid #01: Hey, you can move up now.
Me: Nah, I'm too lazy.
Random Kid #02: *snorting candy cane bits*
Me: ok then... That's totally normal...

Jasmine: Trash can, smash or pass?
Me: Uh... Pass
Jasmine: Cats, smash or pass?
Me: Depends on the cat
Jasmine: *yells* THIS PERSON WOULD RATHER **** A CAT THAN A HUMAN!

Me: What are the limits in the back of the bus?
Jasmine: Limits? What are those?
Me: *sighs* the bus driver doesn't know what happens here, does she?...

Me: *gets off bus* god, I thought I was gonna die in there...