I got up the next morning and splashed my face in the water, I had gotten hardly any sleep the night before and my head felt like someone had hit it. I broke open the fruit the woman had said cured minor ailments and rubbed a bit of its juice on my temples and forehead, it smelled fresh and dried quickly, I was glad that it was not sticky.

Climbing up the tree I got to the branch were I had stored my pouch and put it into my bag, I put on my top and short skirt, wrapping the piece of material around myself and tying it behind my neck like a dress. I walked down the path through the trees and past the lake, the men were there again.

I looked around and my eyes met the man’s from two days ago, he nodded with a slight smile on his face, “Morning.” He said briefly, I ignored him and carried on walking past. I heard the other men making fun of him behind me, and wondered if it was because of me, but I was too tired to care.

Walking into the village I went straight to the bakery, the man smiled at me when I entered, “Two dozen rolls?” He asked me knowingly. I went to speak but he cut across me, “But not all today, you’ll want the second dozen next week?” I smiled at him.

“There is not much point in me speaking is there?” I said laughing good naturedly, he laugh with me. I gave him a blob of gold and he handed me a dozen rolls, I put them into my bag, he commented on it, asking me where I had gotten it.

“I feel awful for not knowing her name, but the woman who made me these clothes gave it to me”

“The seamstress, who works in her house and is about eighty cycles old?”

“Yes that is her.” He whistled.

“You must be special.”

“Pardon?”

“Well, she never talks to anyone bar her youngest grandson, she doesn’t even talk to the other one, so for her to actually give you something is strange.”

“Oh.” I talked a bit more about the weather and then made an excuse to leave. I had never thought about the woman like that, she had never struck me as talkative the first few times that I had met he, but it seemed strange to think she only ever talked to one person bar me, I wondered why it was as I made my way to her house.

She was sitting in her doorway as normal, and smiled when she saw me; I smiled back at her and made my way up to her. “I thought you would have enough fruit to last you until tomorrow.”

“Yes, I think I’ll have enough to last me for a few days.” I smiled at her, but I could tell from her expression that my smile had not gone to my eyes. “What is the matter?”

“I am confused.” I answered her honestly.

“Why?”

“I have just been to the bakers and the owner said that you never talk to anyone, I did not know if he was speaking the truth or not?”

“Yes he is.”

“So why do you speak to me?”

“You are intelligent; you understand my old phrases and seem to have knowledge beyond your years.” I looked at her, slightly surprised, I had not expected her to be so forthcoming about why she was talking to me, and I had also not realised that she had understood me so well.

“You are very observant.” I said to her, after thinking a while.

“Yes, I have the patience to be observant, I doubt that the people in this village would realise how well I know them.” She smiled and I realised how she must have been sitting here every day for most of her life, just watching and taking in people and their personalities.

“Is that why you do not speak to your elder grandson?” She looked at me with pain in her face and said nothing, “I am sorry, I had not realised…”

“No child, it is okay, I know you wouldn’t have tried to broach the subject if you had known, my grandson is just a painful topic.”

“I understand, you do not have to tell me.”

“No, I think that I should,” she paused for a moment, recollecting her thoughts, “About two years ago I saw into my grandson’s eyes for the first time in years, and what I saw was not good, he was a disrespectful, loud young man, with no care for anyone but himself,” she paused and I could see the tears in her old eyes; I was not the only one that had been through much, “Have you ever spent your time with someone, or spent your time waiting for someone, only to find out that they’re totally different to who you thought they were? Can you understand what I went through?”

“Yes.” I said quietly, thinking of Rowan. She looked at my face for a moment, and I looked up meeting her gaze.

“Yes, you do understand.” We looked at the floor, just comforted by each other’s presence. Suddenly I heard the noise of approaching feet.

“Grandmother!” A familiar voice reached my ears, but I did not turn round, knowing who it belonged to.

“Beau, well this is a surprise, have you met Ilea?” At this point I had to turn around and look at him.

“Yes, we met briefly a couple of days ago.” I said quietly, and then I turned to the woman, made an apology and left quickly, not saying a word to the young man, Beau.

It was well past midday by the time I got back to my waterfall, it was almost time to have the evening meal, but I did not, I fed half of one of the rolls to the bird and took out my sword, running through the Tingure, I was upset and slightly angry, how could she be the grandmother of those men? I was not even thinking about the Tingure anymore, I was just doing it, turn after turn, parry after parry, slice after slice, because if I stopped the whole world would halt and reason would fly out of the window.

I moved through it faster than I ever had, even when it only had twenty stances, I went through it again and again and again, until the sun set and my arms were screaming from exhaustion. I stopped at the twenty fifth stance, freezing and staying motionless, then I dropped my sword, it fell onto the grass with a thud and I followed it, sleeping where I had fallen.

I got up and washed my face in the cold water of the pool, trying to forget the dream, the loud screaming that started in the dream and then carried on as my own in my waking ears. Walking back to the tree I lay down again but was unable to get back to sleep, so I ambled down to the lake in the darkness. The moon shone brightly, illuminating the whole lake, reflecting off the water. I took off the piece of material covering my skirt and top and hung it in a tree.

Slipping into the water I swam over to the waterfall and sat in the cave behind it, hugging my knees to my chin. My mind was a mixture of emotions; grief for the woman who had died and unlimited anger at Senkrad. I wanted to scream and cry at the same time, but I could not; it was bottled up inside me, only being let out as I slept and then stoppered back in as soon as I woke, because if I let it out, I had no idea what the consequences would be, I had no idea how much it would change me. And thoughts and images like that could never change me in a good way. I was trapped in a never ending circle.

Standing up I dived off the ledge, flying through the waterfall and down into the water on the other side in the same way that I had done before. On the other side I pushed up from the lake floor with as much force as I could manage, I soared up through the water and erupted from the surface in a burst of spray, I froze the water and stood on it, about two meters above the surface of the lake, the moon glinted against my perpetual diamond column and lit up my face and the ground around the lake.

A movement in the tree caught my eye and I threw up a force field around it, it was just hidden behind the first row of trees and I could not see it. I let the water go back down slowly and stopped a small round disk on the surface, standing on it. I put my foot forward and made another one appear, I ran across the lake on these ice stepping stones until I got to the other side and walked into the trees.

He was standing there, staring at me with an open mouth, the moment I saw him trapped in my invisible web my mouth dropped open in dismay; why did it have to be him? Neither of us said anything for a long time, we just stood there staring at each other.

“What are you doing here?” I eventually asked him in a cold voice.

“I just came for a swim, and saw you dive through the waterfall and then rise up out of the water.” He looked at me with intelligent eyes, his grandmother’s eyes.

I did not know what to do, I had two options, neither of which I wanted to do; let him go or take him back with me. If I let him go he could go and tell everyone in his village about me and I would have to move again, but if I took him back with me then people would start to wonder where he was and come searching for him. I stood in silence trying to work out what to do, eventually I decided, taking him with me would at least give me a few days to work out what to do.

“This will not hurt, just look into my eyes.” He tried to look away but I immediately put him to sleep, slowly lowering his body to the floor so that he would not be harmed. I picked him up and carried him back along the path, jogging with him in my arms, not sure how long the sleep would last for. It took me ten minutes to jog back and I laid him down on the grass and put up a force field around the whole area, so that he would not escape.

I did not sleep for the rest of that night; I climbed into the tree above him and watched over him, waiting for him to wake up. When he did I stayed in the tree, watching him and trying to figure out how to approach him, the first thing he did was walk down to the pool and take a drink, then he washed his face and sat down, closing his eyes.

I dropped down from the tree and walked to him slowly, he surprised me by jumping up and facing me, ready in the first stance of the Tingure, but without a sword, I was glad I had put mine in the tree with me that night. “Where am I?”

“In a hidden place, about an hour walk away from your village.” I told him in a calm voice.

“Why have you brought me here?”

“I could not let you tell everyone about me.” I said calmly.

“Let me go.” he said, matching my calm tone.

“I cannot.”

“Why?”

“I have already told you.”

“I won’t tell anyone.”

“I cannot chance that.”

“Why not?”

“Because… I just cannot.” I told him and then turned around, he began to walk towards the trees, “I would not do that if I were you.” He ignored me and walked straight into the force field. Taking a step back he held his hand up to it and pressed against it.

“What is this?”

“It is to stop you from going out.” I told him, and then jumped up into the tree, getting to the branch where I stored the food and my other things. He ran to the bottom and started shouting up at me. I dropped a red nectrie on his head and it shut him up, then I leapt off the branch and floated down onto the grass next to him.

“Eat.” I said and bit into my own fruit.

He looked at the fruit and bit into it, I wanted to smile when the juice ran down his chin and onto his shirt; the anger in his eyes and expression in comparison to his clumsy actions were quite comical and I would have laughed if he had been Jacob, but this was the man that threatened to chase me away from the only things I had, so I just turned away from him coldly.

He sat down by the edge of the pool and stared out across the forest. I walked back to the tree and pulled out my sword, taking it out of its sheath and standing in the first stance of the Tingure. I flowed into the second stance and managed to get through all twenty five stances before he turned around and saw what I was doing. He stared at me openly, but I ignored him, and carried on through it without pausing.

I was trying to do it the same way as I had done yesterday, feeling the movements, rather than concentrating on how they should be. I flowed through the stances with increased speed until the trees around me were like a blur. I came to a dead stop at the end of the twenty fifth stance and held it for a count of ten, then walked to the pool and cupped my hands in it, taking a long drink.

I put my sword back in the sheath and hid it back in the tree. “What am I meant to do?” He asked me when I came back down from the tree.

“I do not know, amuse yourself.” I said coldly. It was approaching midday and I knew that it would be a bad idea to practise magic in front of him, so I decided to do the flexibility and balance exercises that Senkrad had taught after lunch.

I grabbed a couple of bread rolls and called him, throwing it at him when he turned round, he caught it awkwardly. I sat down under the tree and ate it, throwing a few pieces to the bird I had saved; he refused to leave me alone and I felt slightly responsible. Beau caught what I was doing, “Why are you feeding that bird?”

“For the same reason I am feeding you; I feel responsible for him.” I threw the last piece of my roll to the bird and stood in the middle of the grass area, bending down, putting my hands on the floor and then slowly pushing up my legs until my body was straight in the air.

I pushed one leg forwards and one backwards until I was doing the splits in the air, then I moved them around until I was doing the box splits. I put my feet back on the ground and jumped up and down a couple of times, trying to loosen myself off, I stood on one leg and lifted the other one straight up, catching hold of it with my hand and pulling it next to my head. I turned my body and pushed my arm and leg back and was about to let change position when Beau asked me a question. “What are you?” I let my leg go and stood on the grass, putting most of my weight on one leg and putting the same hand on my hip.

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you know so many training routines?”

“I was taught them.”

“Why?”

“Because I was supposed to be used as a warrior for my country.”

“So why are you here?”

“Because I did not want to be used as a warrior.”

“So why do you still train like one?”

“Just in case.” I bent down to the floor again, stretching my calves.

“Just in case what?” I quickly stood up again and looked at him.

“The people who wanted me to fight for them try to capture me; I want to be able to get away.”

“If they’re going to come and get you, why did you run away?”

“What cycle are you in?” I asked him pointedly.

“My twentieth, why?”

“I’m in my nineteenth and I do not want to have to give up my entire life to fight for something that does not deserve to be fought for.” I turned away from him and walked into the water, swimming over to the tree where the red nectries grew, I stopped just before the branch curtain. “Do not come in here.” I said in warning and then slipped under the water and past the branches.

I sat on the ledge, feeling the desperate tears stream down my face; what was I going to do? I had an entire empire after me and a man sitting a hundred yards away from me that could ruin my current happiness, how was I going to fix this? I just let the tears seep down my cheeks, waiting patiently for them to stop. When they did I picked a few of the fruits and swam back to the grass area.

Beau was just sitting there. I ignored him and dumped the fruits on the floor by the trunk of the tree, then I grabbed a couple of rolls from the tree and handed him one of each. “Is there no meat?”

  “No.” I said and then jumped up into the tree. I slept in the tree that night.

I screamed as the eyes bore into my mind, then woke up suddenly, gasping for air and feeling the tears sliding down my cheeks. I slipped out of the tree and sat down at the edge of the pool, gently washing my face with the cool water. I could feel him come up behind me. “What’s wrong.” I said nothing and walked past him, jumping back into the tree and staring at the stars through the leaves until they disappeared and the sky turned blue again.

Beau was still asleep on the grass, so I took my sword, bag and pouch and walked down to the village, taking the chance to think. When I got to the main street I went straight to the bakers and asked if I could have the rolls early, he smiled at me and gave them to me, “Are you okay, you look tired?”

“It is okay, I just have not been sleeping well, I seem to have acquired a bird friend who likes to eat my rolls and wake up early.” I laughed lightly and was glad when he joined in. I chatted to him for a while and then ‘realised the time’ and left. I went out of the village the same way that I had gone in, when I was in the safety of the trees I ran back to my pool.

Beau was sitting on the grass and I stopped just in front of him, my hair swinging forward after my abrupt stop. He stared at me for a minute and then took a step backwards in surprise, “Where did you come from!?”

“Elmira.” I said coldly and tossed him one of the hot rolls from my bag. It was nearly midday so I ate one myself and then went through the Tingure for most of the afternoon, trying to perfect my movements. I stopped after finally getting it right and slipped into the pool, letting the water relax my muscles and then began to swim up and down it until I had done two hundred lengths, I got out and ate a piece of fruit and a bread roll, giving one to Beau at the same time.

He stared at me for a minute, “What?” I asked him.

“You confuse me.”

“Good.”

“How do you do it?”

“Confuse you?”

“No, all that work, you walked to the village this morning and then you got back and did not stop doing the Tingure for four hours and then you went and did two hundred lengths of the pool. Where do you get the energy? I know grown men that wouldn’t be able to do it.”

“Practise.” I said and then sat by the trunk of the tree, but Beau had not finished yet.

“And I noticed before when you were practising the Tingure that there are five more movements that join the twentieth and first stances together, why are they there?”

“They link the first and twentieth stances together.” I repeated as if her were an idiot.

“Yes, but who taught you them?”

“No one, I made them up, so that it would flow.”

“You made them up?” He looked at me, incredulous.

“Yes, why?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He looked at me for a moment and then realised I was not going to say anything to him. He walked off to the pool, pulling off his shirt and walking into the water, swimming up and down it like I had, I began to count and then got bored after fifty.

Eventually he stopped and walked out of the water again, he was not looking at me and I was surprised to see the muscle definition on his stomach, it was hard and well pronounced, as were the huge muscles on his arms, he caught my eye and I looked away slowly, embarrassed that he had seen me watching him, but determined to not let him see it.

He grabbed his shirt off the floor and ruffled it over his hair to try and dry it, then he dragged it on over his head, his face was still slightly wet and the water clung to his hair, dripping off occasionally, letting it dry back to the usual light blonde. Looking away from him, I felt strange and slightly confused so I jumped into the tree and told him I was going to sleep.

I woke up screaming again, unable to shake the sight of the woman’s eyes in my head. I brought my knees up to my chin and hugged my legs, feeling the silent tears stream down my face again. How long would this image haunt me?