We travelled until it started to get dark again and Cadavain seemed like an enormous being, just hanging over us. We weren’t even at its base. They set up the camp and started the fire. I ate in my tent again that night and then slept. Throughout the night I was chased by dreams, which deeply disturbed me and all I could remember were mixed up images and whispers of far off words and places that I didn’t recognise.

The next day also seemed to go by like a dream, nothing happened except for the change in the passing landscape. As we got closer to the base of mount Cadavain the grass beneath the horses’ hooves became rockier and more uneven, there were sparse trees dotted around an uneven path that led up the mountain. It was the middle of the day when we reached the base so I turned to Lord Rico, “Where do we go from here?”

“We’re going to the top.”

“To the summit?” I asked genuinely surprised

“Yes.”

“Is there anywhere that we could camp?”

“Yes there are three places, but the first one we would not reach in enough time to start a fire before the night closed in.”

“Would it be dark when we got there?”

“Yes.”

“I have a suggestion.”

“Very well,”

“I will go to the first one and light a fire, if you let me take the packs you will go a lot quicker and I can set up the tents while I wait.”

“Wait for what?”

“For you to catch up with me. I can see the first site already and I know that I could get there in an hour if I were to run, probably two hours with all the packs.”

“I’m honestly not sure.” I suddenly noticed how reserved Lord Rico had become in the last few days. “I will ask the other men what they think.” He went off for a while with the other men and I could hear them talking about it amongst themselves. Rowan agreed with me, he thought it would cut valuable time off our journey, Isaac agreed with Rowan. Oscar was opposed to it, saying that he wasn’t sure if I could really make it all that way with the packs in two hours and then get a fire going in time “She may be an elf, but she’s still only a female.” Lord Rico told him to be quite and looked over to me worried that I would do something.

In the end Lord Rico sided with Isaac and Rowan. I took all their packs from them and started to jog up the mountain, it was quite a relaxed run, I didn’t get very tired easily now and I took it at a leisurely pace. The packs weren’t as heavy as I’d originally thought and I made my way up with significant ease. When I got to the spot I laid out the tents and began a fire with my powers, I could not be bothered to do it the human way; it would have taken too long.

When the fire was burning brightly I started to set up the tents and after I had finished I sat down in mine and fell asleep. Two hours later the sound of hooves woke me up and I started to prepare a meal for the men. It was a stew with onions, mushrooms and meat in it. I also added salt later on to season. It was quite a sparse meal so I served it with the dry biscuits as well. The men said that it was nice to have a hot meal ready for them and that it was thoughtful of me. I told them I only did I so that they would not waste time making one and then be able to get to sleep earlier and therefore be able to get up earlier. Lord Rico left us and went to eat in his tent while we sat around the fire. Oscar was slightly annoyed by my remark and commented on the fact that I had not eaten any of the stew; I had eaten only fruit, mushrooms and the dry biscuits.

“I do not want to eat that.”

“What have you done to it?” Oscar asked accusingly

“Nothing, I just don’t want to eat meat, that’s all.”

“Oh really, since when?”

“Since we were in the forest.” I said calmly answering his interrogative questions.

“So why did that start?”

“That was once a live animal that had to die so you could eat it and I know how it feels.” I said and he stopped and looked at me. I had spoken the words coldly and I could feel the slight malice in my eyes as I avoided Isaac and Rowans gazes.

“What?” he asked in a quite voice.

“I know how it feels to have normal thoughts one second and then to slip into a place of nothingness, I’ve done it and I won’t eat any corpse that has had to go through the same thing.” With that I stood up and walked into my tent.

I could hear the voices of the men as they sat discussing what I had just said. Oscar went into his tent shortly after I had spoken but Rowan and Isaac stayed out near the fire talking and piecing together what had happened to me.

“She died?” Rowan said, trying to understand what I’d meant.

“Was she defiantly alive when you found her?”

“Yes, I just don’t understand what she meant.”

“Neither do I, but I think it must have something to with her mind reading abilities, because she’s stopped doing it.”

“Not at all?”

“No, she told me yesterday when we were riding together that she’s not using them.”

“I knew she stopped when she woke up, she told me that night, but I didn’t think…”

“What?”

“Remember when she told us that she could hear everything?”

“Yes,”

“Maybe she didn’t just mean human thoughts.”

“What do you mean?”

“What if she could hear the thoughts of everything.”

“No, that’s impossible,”

“A lot of things about her are impossible.”

“True.” A long pause created an uncomfortable silence as they both tried to figure it out.

“If she could hear the thoughts of everything does that include birds?”

“I suppose so, but how is that relevant?” Isaac asked confused and not following where Rowan was going. “Hey she’ll be angry if you burst in on her.” I could hear him coming over to my tent and then saw him as he pulled back the flap.

“Did you hear that?”

“Your conversation?”

“Yes?”

“I did.”

“Was I right?”

“About what?”

“Can you hear the thoughts of everything?”

“If I wanted to, yes.” I said bleakly

“So you were connected to that bird that Isaac shot?”

“Yes.” I could see the horror in his face as I confirmed his assumptions.

“You died with it?”

“No, but a small part of my life got sucked into the after life with it.”

“Your soul got torn apart?”

“Literally.”

“Oh, Ilea.” He bent down and hugged me, I held myself back from doing anymore, trying to remember the pain I had felt when I had been split in two, I didn’t want to go through that again, but I couldn’t defy the way I was feeling towards him for long. I hated my thoughts and felt pathetic for thinking like that. I simply stayed there and waited for him to pull away. He did eventually. “I understand why you don’t want to listen to other things thoughts anymore, but why have you become so distant in every way?”

“So I don’t get hurt.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to hurt again.”

“But if you let me in you wouldn’t…”

“Yes I would, some way or another, I’d end up getting hurt, and I just can’t cope with that.”

“I wouldn’t let you get hurt.”

“You might not have a choice! What if we were together and then you got killed! Part of me would be dragged into the afterlife with you, that bird was only a tiny percent of me and yet I felt like I was about to die with it! If you were to die I’d be the one trapped inside my head, screaming to get out until someone killed me completely! I don’t want that, I want to live.” I said, staring at the floor. An awkward silence followed my outburst; I had shocked him with the full facts. He sat there speechless for a moment trying to understand the magnitude of what I had just said. “That’s why I don’t want to be with you, I don’t want to ever feel that.”

He paused for a minute and looked at me intently “It’s not living if you never feel anything,” Then he turned his back on me “You may as well be dead.” He said quietly and walked out of the tent. I heard him tossing and turning that night and was listening to his breathing as I fell into an uneasy sleep.

            I had the dreams again, strange obstructed images that I didn’t understand. And a voice, softly singing strange words in a low murmur that seemed to vibrate through my whole body like the beat of a drum. The whole dream I knew that I had never seen before, but the images and the soft song was strangely familiar, like a long forgotten life of a different person.

The next day I woke up early and sat on a flat rock that lipped over the edge of the mountain, I wrapped my arms round my knees and looked up at the still black sky. I breathed deeply and tasted the cool air on my tongue. I contemplated what I was actually doing here in this world, I felt so small and insignificant sitting on this mountain that had been here for thousands of years, its rocks, it’s soul, has stood against all weather, the blistering heat, the drenching rain and the freezing snow, yet here it still stood, a triumph of nature, but what was I? The mountain belonged here, as it had been for those thousands of years. Where did I belong?

I rested my head in my arms and wished that my hair was long enough to form a dark curtain of seclusion, I jumped as I felt something brush my cheek, then I grinned as I brushed my hand through my newly acquired fringe, it started on the right side of my hairline fell sideways across my forehead and left eye. There were some longish strands on the opposite side as well, matching the other in length.

I looked up at the sky again and brushed the fringe out of the way so I could see the sun clearly in the distance. I stopped smiling as I thought to myself again, what natural thing can change how it looks by just wishing it?

 Quietly I walked back and knew that the others hadn’t heard me approach as I came through one of the bushes on the right side of the camp. Isaac jumped and Oscar swore loudly as I approached. I smirked unkindly and looked at them through my fringe, enjoying the veiled appearance that it gave me. Rowan came out of his tent quickly at Oscar’s shout and stopped when he saw me. I refused to look at him and remained distinctly aloof. Sitting on the opposite side of the fire from the others I ate my meal without speaking to them and offered the last bit of my dry biscuit to Arian, I would miss her when she had to go back, she was a smart horse and it would be difficult to find another one matching her intelligence.

We started up the mountain after the camp had been packed up. I walked next to Arian while she carried my pack, Lord Rico and Oscar gave me funny looks, but I just ignored them and carried on walking, why should I let others opinions change what I do? We travelled until noon and I asked Lord Rico how much further it was, he replied that it wasn’t much further and that we probably had enough time to rest and eat. I didn’t want anything so I sat on a rock in silence and made my mind go blank and my face, expressionless. Then I felt something trying to push its way into my mind, terrified I threw up images of thick walls and barriers and the probing feeling was quickly forced away. I said nothing to the others about the probing but worried within myself.

We promptly carried on up the mountain and finally got to the top as dusk settled. It was completely flat. I believed that Lord Rico had simply missed out or forgotten the end of our journey because we should still have been a while away from where the top point should be, but instead it was as if the top of the mountain had been hacked off. It was hidden from the ground by a thin mist that hung in the air and the whole sight I found rather discouraging; the height of mount Cadavain was about half what it should have been. There was one thing that this mountain had not been able to survive, and that thing must have been appallingly evil to destroy such a thing intone with the very heart of nature.

I noticed a wooden house and garden in the centre of the flat mountain top and walked cautiously towards it, a feeling of uncertainty in the air. Suddenly arrows were being shot at us from the left side of the mist, I quickly threw up a makeshift barrier, stopping them in the air and causing them to fall to the ground. There was an eerie silence as the only noise was the sound of the men’s breathing behind me.

I stood still, frozen momentarily in time as I tried to figure out what I should do. The wind flickered through my hair and I a strange scent came with it. I spun around to face a pack of wolves with blurry edges that mixed in with the mist behind them, I swore under my breath as I recognised them as the shadow wolves. Their eyes were flecked with red and their mouths dripped with yellow saliva as they approached us menacingly. One growled under its breath and another snarled as I slowly walked towards it defiantly, it growled again and took a step towards me, I growled back at it and bared my teeth. He snarled at me and crouched, ready to strike, I understood the meaning of the position: he wanted a fight.

I tried to shoot an electric current at the wolf’s wraithlike form, but the shock flowed straight through it. Heating the air around the wolf with my mind in an attempt to boil him alive, but it had as little effect as the electricity. I realised that my magic wouldn’t work on them and an eerie chill ran down my spine.

Slowly I turned my body sideways. Two things happened simultaneously; The pack leader pounced, going for the throat and Isaac jumped in front of me with his sword out, blocking me from the wolves attack and preventing me from killing it. Thick teeth sank through his skin and crushed his windpipes as he fell to the floor with the wolf around his neck, I cried out and threw the wolf off him as they crashed to the ground.

“Isaac!” I sank to the floor and held him, but his breathing was already coming sharply and I could do nothing to help him. I could feel his warm blood flowing over my hands as I held him. “Isaac?” I whispered quietly, he spluttered and blood spattered out of his mouth and onto my cheeks. His face looked so young and innocent lying there in my arms, his life barely begun. His eyes were focussed on mine and his breathing was coming shallow and rough. A wounded cry rang from my lips and tears fell down my cheeks as I saw his eyes go glassy and dull. I gently laid him onto the grass and closed his eyes for the final time.

I turned around and could feel the blazing hatred in my eyes as they turned from blue to crimson red. I looked from my hands to the leader of the wolves and saw the same staining blood around his mouth. My mind went blank as I grabbed Isaac’s sword from the floor and ran towards the wolves in fury. I felt nothing as everything turned into slow motion. The wolves’ lives faded out of existence; each one of them met the blade as I swung it wildly around myself in a blinded fury. I took a deep breath and let the sword drop to the floor as I suddenly became conscious of the ring of dead wolf corpses that surrounded me.

I closed my eyes and blanked my mind again, letting my instincts take over me, opening them I saw everything in blue and green, except for Rowan, Oscar and Lord Rico who were coloured in a red/orange colour. Isaac was a dark blue. Then, movement in the centre of the clearing, an almost yellow orange and slightly green figure came into my newly acquired vision.

I cleaned the blood off my sword on the ground and picked up Isaac’s blue body. I carried him across the grass and to the figure in the centre, I barely noticed the other men following closely behind me. I didn’t turn around as I shot a stone behind us and into the one wolf that I could hear still alive and following us, it killed it instantly. When we got to the figure I bowed my head and looked into his eyes lifelessly, he took the body from my arms and my vision clouded to black as the ground rushed up from beneath my feet. Again.