The Doctor hummed quietly to himself as he read the book. It was quite good. An Agatha Christie, in fact.

He was just getting to the best part when a small, warm hand landed on his shoulder. He jumped, startled and wheeled around.

When he saw who it was, his jaw dropped. "Why.... no! Why would you do something so terrible?! Why?!"

-------

Amy picked up her pace to get to the library. That's where the Doctor practically always was when they weren't travelling. Reading some book.

She turned a corner and walked into the room.

Only to see the Doctor kissing some woman- some blond woman!-Rather passionately.

Her blood boiled and she whipped her phone out, taking care to step back around the corner so the Doctor wouldn't see her. He was cheating on her daughter! She could certainly make him regret it, but once she showed River proof- oh, then he'd be in real trouble. Well, maybe not real trouble. Real trouble was when she told Rory. She clicked the button to record.

A few seconds later, Rory showed up, looking tired and dishevled. "Amy? What're you- WHAT THE HELL?!"

It wasn't hard to guess who the question was directed at. The couple broke away immediately, the Doctor rather guiltily removing his hand from the small of the woman's back. Who, Amy noted, hadn't bothered to turn around, and had nestled her head under the Doctor's chin.

Rory, furious, pulled out his sword. "What do you think you're doing?!" He demanded, face close to red.

The Doctor blushed and scratched the back of his head. "Well, I suppose we got a bit carried away. I thought you two had gone to bed."

Amy folded her arms across her chest and shot her best death glare at him. "I bet you did. Wait until this video goes to a certain someone." She waved the phone.

His eyebrows furrowed, and his hands went around the woman that he'd been doing innapropriate things with.  "And who would that be?"

Rory nearly jumped the man then and there, but Amy's curiousity made her stop him. "Maybe your wife."

His eyes widened. "No, please not the Queen! She'll work even harder to get me beheaded! I like this face!"

The woman chuckled, a warm throaty laugh that Amy and Rory immediately recognized.

"Melody?" Rory questioned.

River turned around to grin at them. "Mum, Dad."

"Your-" Rory paused. "What happened to your hair?"

She frowned and fluffed it. "I just straightened it. Goodness, why are you all acting like I committed a homocide?"

"Because it's pretty damn close." The Doctor mumbled, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her back to his chest.

"It is not!" She defended. "I just had to make sure no one recognized me in that one county-well, country. Well," She said, "planet."

"What could you have possibly done to make you wanted on an entire planet?" Amy questioned, eyebrow quirked.

"What could have possessed you to do this-" The Doctor stuck his nose in her hair, taking a sniff- "terrible thing to me?"

"Oh, come off it." She replied, putting her hands on top of his. "I can take a shower and make it normal right now if I really had to."

The Doctor let her go and nodded.

River scowled. "I don't really have to, sweetie. It took three hours to do this."

"But-but.... it's so..." the Doctor struggled to think of a word, "normal. And un-River. Can't I have my wife's hair back?" He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "It's so much more fun to play with."

Amy rolled her eyes. "Well, for the record River, I think it looks fine. Other than we can't recognize you from behind. Right, Rory?"

He forced himself to look at it again. "Well, actually, I've got to go with the Doctor on this one. It's too diffiicult to look at and know it's you. You look like that girl we knew in school. What was her name? Megan.... Snow something-or-the-other. You look like her."

River sighed and unlatched the Doctor's arms from around her. "Fine, fine, fine. I'm going to go and wet my hair." She said, walking out the library.

The Doctor smiled, nodded, and followed his wife.

"I think she may need some help with that, so I'm gonna go... help. See you, Ponds! Don't worry, I'll bring your daughter back to her normal self!"

 [Votes and comments are super awesome!!!]