Amy groaned and took a sip of her drink. "Remind me to never go to the beach with him again."

River smiled. "I've been to the beach with him more than you have. It's embarrassing every single time."

"I know, but really. Sandcastles? With another dimension. Not just sandcastles, ones that look really stupid on the outside! I don't know how you put up with it."

"Patience. Lots of patience, dear."

Amy grinned and pulled the ponytail out of her hair. "So, you and the Doctor are married in the future. That where you went on your honeymoon or something?"

"One of them. The sand was absolutely terrible, and he kept on- wait!" River stopped to give her mother, who hadn't even conceived her yet, a look. "Are you trying to get spoilers?"

Amy gave a smile, a mischevious glint in her eyes. "Not anymore. Always knew you two were married."

River rolled her eyes, and grabbed a glass from the small table. "No, you don't. How do you know that a honeymoon means the same thing in the 21st century as it does in the 51st?"

The redhead didn't say anything for a second, and her expression stayed the same. "Whatever you say, River. So, something I have to know." She sat her glass down and turned to the other woman. "How is he?"

River arched an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Amy elbowed her. "Come on, you know what I mean. What's the Doctor like?"

The blond woman's eyes widened, and she shook her head quickly. "No, no, no. There's no way I'd ever answer that question. You're married, anyway! To Rory! Why would you want to know that?!"

"We aren't married yet. As far as everyone else is concerned, we're both asleep on the night before our wedding. So this is technically my hen night, so I can do what I want. And I've always wondered. 'Cause, you know, some people say the skinny ones are the best."

River shook her head quickly. "Okay, well, you will get married eventually. I can promise you that one day you're going to regret this so much. If I tell you now, it will never be an image you can get out of your head."

Amy sighed and shoved her arm a little. "Spoilsport. Not really that big of a deal, if you're married to him someday, is it?"

"He's fine, Amy. He's fine. Just... never ever ask me that again."

-5 years later in Amy's perspective-

"River, stop doing that!"

"Hey, I'm not doing anything." She replied jauntily, and took another slow lick of her icecream cone.

Rory frowned and decided to shut his eyes.

"You are, too! Do you really want me to- just stop it!" The Doctor said, catching himself.

"Doctor, I'm about to send you to another room. Stop. I don't want to know. Melody, behave, or I'll tell a story about you in high school."

River looked annoyed for a moment, but then cocked her head to the side and smirked. "Mummy, mummy. Would you like to discuss our little conversation after the beach on Jesta 5? That was today for me, just to let you know. We can discuss your feelings on the matter with Rory. I'm sure his input will be very useful!"

Amy's horrified look drew Rory's attention, though the Doctor began reminiscing. "Jesta 5? I remember that! I loved that sandcastle." The Doctor says a little wistfully.

"What do you  mean, River?" Rory asks. "What conversation?"

"Don't. You. Dare." Amy said through grated teeth, sending a glare that could easily make a Scotsman run for the woods. River had spent time with a certain grumpy Scot, and had also mastered this. It was very useful.

"Do you really want to know, Dad?"

"I suppose." Rory's brow furrowed, and he looked at Amy. "Yeah, what did you talk about?"

"Your wife wanted to know-"

"Uncle!" Amy yelped. She blushed a bright red-a rare site-and bit her lip. "River, enjoy your ice cream."

"Of course."

"Amy!" The Doctor whined. "Don't take her side!"

"Rory, why don't we go swim or something, yeah?" Amy said, ignoring the Doctor's plea and glaring at her husband.

"Uh, sure I guess, if we-" Amy grabbed his hand and tugged him after her.

The Doctor glanced at his wife. "Did you just blackmail her again?"

She shrugged. "Yes."

He thought for a moment. Then, "River, you can't keep using the scandals you gathered as her best friend to blackmail her. Sometimes you just don't get what you want."

She scoffed. "Honey, I don't know if you realize this, but I don't use that much against her. Because she told me everything. Do you know how disconcerting it is to know in explicit detail how my mother shoved her tongue down your throat?"

He coughed. "It was-just this one time, she-"

"It lasted a solid 20 seconds."

"Sorry?"

"Your little make out session."

He frowned. "Did it? River, what exactly were you talking about on Jasta 5? Why didn't she want Rory to know?"
 

"She wanted to know how you are in bed."

The Doctor shrugged. "Well, I think I'm pretty good. I've gotten pretty quiet, and this regeneration doesn't snore. Also, I've learned to be still while I'm asleep. Still as a rock. You're sensitive to movement when you're asleep, I guess it's the-"

"No, Doctor. Not that. What we do in bed."

"What we do? Like pil-oh." He turned red and sputtered. "What? No- no she didn't! Why would Amy care? It's not like-" He paused, then stared at River. "What did you tell her?"

She shrugged and smirked at him. "The truth."

"Which is?"

"You fall off the bed a lot. And that your first time you ended up hitting your head on the nightstand and got a bump the size of my fist, and I almost had to take you to get scanned because I though you had memory loss."

"River!" He groaned, turning and gripping the console. "You swore not to tell!"

She rolled her eyes and walked up behind him, slipping her arms around him. "I'm kidding. I didn't tell her anything."

"Really?" He said hopefully, turning to look at her.

She smiled softly and planted a kiss on his cheek. "I did say I wouldn't tell anyone. Besides, it was technically my fault you bumped your head." She ran her fingers through his hair, stopping on the back of his head and probing the spot gently.

The Doctor bit his lip. "You still didn't have to eat your ice cream so sinfully with your parents here."

"Actually, I didn't mean to at the beginning. You're the one who gave me that look."

He glanced behind her. "Where did you put it?"

"What?"

"The ice cream. What did you do with it?"

"It's over there," River gestured to the chair. "Probably melted, though."

He pecked her nose. "That's a shame. I kind of want some."

"I think we have some in the freezer."

The Doctor cocked an eyebrow at his wife. "That sounds lovely. I suppose we should drop your parents off?"

"Definitely."

[A/N.  Well, I've had quite a few requests for an update on this one. I dug through some of my old stuff, did a bit of editing, and here you go! Comment and vote if you liked it, if you don't mind :) ]