"Doctor!"

"Yes? Sorry, what is it, Pond?"

Amy rolled her eyes. "We know you've just been checking out River's bum the whole time. And that's fine, since you're married and everything-"

"Well, actually, I'd prefer if you wait until you're alone to ogle her." Rory cut in.

"Hush, Rory. Don't be a hypocrite. Anyway," She paused to jump off the rail, "I'd prefer if you paid attention to whatever your doing. Our room's been flooded twice, we found an elephant on the sofa, we've even found a weird fish thing sleeping on our bed! And why?" She began walking down the stairs. "Because you're staring at our daughter."

The Doctor's eyebrows scrunched. "I'm perfectly fine at multi-tasking, I'll have you know!"

"Sure you are, sweetie." River said, then reached over and un-hooked wires he had fixed together. "Now, if I didn't catch that, we would have had a couple sharks in the pool."

"Yes, well, I..." He bit his lip. "I'm sure I would've caught it eventually."

"Before or after you get torn to shreds?"

The Doctor frowned. "After, obviously. No, no, wait. Wrong answer, wasn't it? Before." Rory groaned and sat down on the jump seat. "You can't even think straight when you're in the same room!"

"Well, in my defense, I think she's wearing a perception filter all the time, and that's why. I've never actually asked, come to think of it. Are you?"

"Wearing a perception filter?" River repeated, arching an eyebrow.

"Yes."

"No. That's just you."

A cloud of confusion went over his face. "Well, I don't understand, then. A bio-dampener? Some sort of telepathic disrupter?"

She rolled her eyes. "No."

He got out of his swing and approached her. "Then I don't get it. My mind gets sort of jumbled and my priorities get mixed up."

"That would be hormones, my love." She replied, looking up at him from her own swing.

"No, don't be silly. I keep my hormones in check. Time Lords barely even have hormones!"

Amy and Rory exchanged glances across the console.

River stood up, the top of her head barely meeting his chin. "Okay."

He breathed in her scent, and automatically wrapped his arms around her when he spelled that vanilla-honey-time scent that radiated from her. She smiled into his chest and returned the favor. "What was that you were saying about hormones?"

"Um, we don't have that many... because we..." He took another whiff of her scent. "don't need them?"

"Mmhm."

His eyes shot open. When had they even closed? He wondered vaguely, then pulled out of the hug. "Well, it's true. My hormones are barely doing anything right now. I mean, a little, because I can smell you, but it's not that. It's like...." He struggled to think of a word. "I don't know. Something."

River sat back down in her swing, and Amy sighed above them.

"Aw, you're in love with my daughter! That's so sweet." She muttered quietly. Rory may not have heard her across the console, but the two aliens immediately picked up on it. River spared a quick glance to her husband, who was gaping up at Amy.

"No, I mean, well, maybe, well...." He paused, and swallowed.  "It's complicated and humany and timey wimey and private!" He finally managed.

River stifled a giggle. He could never admit to anything so humany.

"Alright, Raggedy Man. Let's see. What's River's favorite food?"

"Bacon." He replied instantly.

"What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen her do?"

"Hum in her sleep."

"Shoe size?"

"8 and a half."

"Does she like to sleep with a blanket or without a blanket?"

"With."

"Hot natured or cold natured?"

"Cold, but-wait a second!" He said, halting. "What are you doing?"

"Hate to tell you, but you are so in love." Amy replied, a smirk on her face as she winked to her daughter.

River simply smiled and connected some more cables.

"Wait, that doesn't mean anything! You knew all that, too! You're not in love with her, you're her mother!"

"Actually, I didn't know she was cold natured. I mean, really?"

River shrugged. "Yeah."

"That's weird. 'Cause you're all... fighty."

She chuckled. "Fighty?"

"Shut up, Mels."

"Mhm."

The Doctor shot a quick glance to his wife and smiled sheepishly. "Um... I... don't know what I'm supposed to say now?"

"Nothing, preferably. While you've been talking to mother about me, you put the reptile room right next to Bedrooms 2-31 and clicked the door open. At least ours isn't there."

Amy's head snapped down to glare at the Doctor. "What number's me and Rory's bedroom, River?"

"Four."

Amy's eyes widened, and she raced to a corridor. "If a lizard is inside my wardrobe again, I'm going to kill you!"

Rory looked down at the Doctor, who had taken on a guilty smile, then took after his wife.

"What did she mean, again?"

"Well, we had a run in with the homo reptilia once. They had this cute little animal that wanted to come with me."

"And how did it end up in their wardrobe?"

"Hey, you had on holographic clothes that day! It was your fault!"

River took on an evil glint in her eyes. "Holographic clothes?"

Her husband's face turned into a mortified one.

"Spoilers!"

[A/N. I really enjoyed writing this. I think this would be right after TWORS, so the Doctor was fairly new to their marriage, and not quite willing to voice his feelings yet. I don't know where River was. You choose. I've actually read something similar when Amy questions him about River, but I'm definitely not copying it. She asks completely different questions in this one, I'm pretty sure. Can't remember where it is, though. But in no way copying that. This is all me, I promise. Anyway, what did you think? How was that ending? XD. Holographic clothes inspired by Steven Moffat in Time of the Doctor. Comments and votes are always appreciated!]