(Whatsapp)
(Subject: New arrivals.)

Brite: I would like to congratulate our two newest champions for joining.

Braum: Braum agrees! Congratulations!

Lillia: T-Thank you.

Yone: I am honored to fight besides all of you.

Evelynn: really? ALL of us?

Yasuo: even me?

Yone: well, MOST of you.

Yasuo: figured as much.

Grey: still though, we're happy to have you.

Tiara: MOST of us are.

Tiara: I just see two more annoyances.

Lillia: d-did I do something wrong already?

Tiara: okay, ONE more annoyance. I can't see you as one, Lillia.

Ahri: how can you stutter through texts?

Lillia: I'm not.

Lillia: I'm just n-nervous, and I end up pressing the s-same litter twice.

Lillia: t-then auto-correction ads the hyphen.

Ahri: oh my God!

Ahri: how can someone be so adorable through mere texts?

Sona: I have never had the urge to hug my phone like this moment.

Lillia: s-sorry?

Ahri: you're just so precious.

Yone: by the way, I should probably warn you that I have some... Anger issues.

Brite: like what?

Yone: LIKE WHEN I TALK ABOUT MY DRUNK, IDIOT BROTHER!!!!

Yone: sorry, sorry. That just happens sometimes.

Yasuo: I want to say that it was uncalled for, but I'd be lying.

Tiara: so... You're every older sibling ever?

Yone: what? No I'm not.

Tiara: yes, you are.

Tiara: literally every older Sibling has some anger issues towards their younger ones. No matter how hidden they are.

Darius: I admit, I do have a problem with how much Draven gets into trouble.

Draven: that's true. I love getting into trouble.

Draven: and pissing off Darius.

Garen: Lux's puns can be pretty annoying.

Lux: does anyone like my puns?

Garen: for your sake, I better not answer that.

Talon: Katarina and Cassiopia can be too much to handle sometimes.

Katarina: wow, don't hold back, Talon.

Cassiopia: I'm still shocked that I JUST realized Talon is older than us.

Lissandra: amateurs. All of you are amateurs.

Lissandra: I've been killing my sisters for centuries, and when I actually didn't kill them they're fighting me.

Ashe: you know, we're not actually your sisters.

Lissandra: spiritually, you are.

Sejuani: she's got you there.

Ashe: you're just siding with her because you hate me.

Tiara: anyway, the point is, every older Sibling has an issue with their younger one.

Tiara: the only reason me and Grey don't have that is because we don't know which one of us is older.

Yone: well, either way, I at least came back as a spirit to settle the score.

Senna: sorry, but I already beat you for that.

Grey: yeah, plus I already died and came back to Tiara plenty of times, so...

Yone: yeah, but I did it by fighting a Demon.

Evelynn: Azakana are parasites, not real demons.

Evelynn: we have like, four primordial demons here, so that's not special.

Fiddlesticks: FiDdleStiCks iS JusT a fAbLe. A stOry tO sCarE cHildRen.

Pyke: what brought me back can make demons piss themselves.

Yone: yeah, but I have a special blade.

Pyke: literally all of Ionia was searching for my Leviathan blade before I found it.

Yone: DAMMIT, I'M SPECIAL!

Thresh: no, you're really not.

Hecarim: you're the last person to talk about not being special, Thresh.

Thresh: what did I do?

Hecarim: that's the point, what DID you do?

Hecarim: take your chains and lantern and your nothing.

Thresh: well, take that spear and what are you?

Hecarim: even if I lose my spear, I am the leader of the Iron Order. I have conquered countless lands. I am an expert in hand to hand combat, and can literally stomb my opponents to death.

Hecarim: you? You're just someone who was lucky enough to be inside the Blessed Isles' archives when the Ruination happened so you can steal that lantern and those chains.

Thresh: wait, am I the weakest Undead here?

Tiara: I think the better question is: did you really not know that?

Senna: Thresh, the fact you didn't actually know that is sad even to me, and that's saying a lot.

Thresh: screw you all!

Thresh: I'm going to torture all of you in the Rift!

Lillia: e-even me?

Thresh: especially you!

Hecarim: touch her and I'll give you to Mordekaiser myself.

Thresh: wait, why do you of all people care?

Hecarim: she taught me how to prance.

Lillia: the trick is in the footing!

Thresh: after all the achievements you mentioned, you're telling me you that you didn't know how to prance?

Hecarim: I merged with my horse, that doesn't mean I automatically knew how to use its body.

Ahri: he's not the only one who'll be after you, Thresh.

Ahri: if you touch Lillia, I swear I'll make you suffer.

Thresh: you think you can scare me, little fox?

Grey: she might not scare you, but I do.

Grey: I don't normally like threatening people, but I'll make an exception this time.

Grey: Thresh, if you as much as look at Lillia in the wrong way, what I'll do to you is going to be so cruel, brutal, and merciless that Evelynn herself might have an orgasm just from hearing your screams.

Thresh: okay, that's actually scary.

Evelynn: the two guys I like are having an argument about who can torture better.

Evelynn: is it my birthday?

Yone: this place is rather chaotic.

Solas: actually, today is pretty peaceful.

Lillia: t-this is peaceful?

Solas: last time, one of us got turned to a kid and the Institute was split into two sides, one looking for him to save him, the other to kill him.

Yone: wow.

Yone: okay, I guess what happened to me isn't THAT special.