21
(A/N: credit goes to Flamius for giving this idea)
(Whatsapp)
(Subject: Demon's habits)
Evelynn: I can't believe I'm saying this.
Evelynn: but I need your help.
Tiara: what?
Brite: are you drunk?
Sona: no amount of alcohol would make her say that.
Solas: Sona's right, she's most likely high on Teemo's mushrooms.
Teemo: Nope.
Teemo: just did a count, and I'm not messing any of them.
Ahri: I think auto correction messed up what you wanted to write, Evelynn.
Akali: that has to be it.
Akali: Try typing it again.
Evelynn: I need your help.
Ahri: you should really turn off auto-correction, we can't tell what you're saying.
Evelynn: I.
Evelynn: Need.
Evelynn: Your.
Evelynn: Help.
Akali: what is she trying to say?
Grey: I think she genuinely needs help.
Ahri: Ha!
Ahri: F*CK no!
Tiara: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Ahri.
Tiara: Why would we help you?
Brite: She's right. Every time one of us asked for help you either made fun of us or came and made our problem worse on purpose.
Ezreal: Yeah, last week I was stuck in a tomb and when I texted the groupchat for help you came in and set the room on fire.
Ezreal: and then Grey and Taliyaha came in and saved me.
Ezreal: Thanks by the way.
Grey: No problem.
Soraka: I am a celestial being who thrives to help all life... But even I am having second thoughts about helping you.
Evelynn: why won't anyone help me?
Ahri: because you're a Demon b*tch.
Tiara: because you're a Demon b*tch.
Ezreal: because you're a Demon b*tch.
Sona: because you're a demonic sl*t that enjoys the suffering of others and now you're actions have caught up with you, so deal with it.
Ahri: wow, we all sent the exact same thing at the same time except Sona.
Ahri: I actually like yours more than ours.
Evelynn: can you at least bother to hear my problem.
Tiara: well, I'm bored out of my mind, just watching Sarah having a drink while men try to flirt with her, so yeah.
Evelynn: Okay, I need you guys to help me convince Fiddlesticks to join our Demon Karoaki night.
Brite: your what?
Solas: you demons have a Karoaki night?
Sona: why?
Sona: why would you have that?
Evelynn: So, just because we're demons we can't have fun?
Ekko: If your idea of fun is to torture, deceive, cheat, kill, steal, haunt, and destroy then yes.
Evelynn: Have you seen Bilgewater and Noxus?
Miss Fortune: We at Bilgewater don't actually do "deceive" or "haunt".
Darius: and we at Noxus don't do "destroy" or "haunt".
Evelynn: are you going to help me convince Fiddlesticks or not?
Grey: why would you want Fiddlesticks to join you?
Evelynn: because I'm tired of Tahm Kench winning.
Evelynn: every time, it's the same thing. We have a competition, and he wins.
Ahri: wait, let me get this straight.
Ahri: you are part of a famous idol group.
Ahri: and some obese fish beats you?
Evelynn: surprisingly, he has a good singing voice.
Evelynn: plus, he can use his tongue as a banjo.
Brite: is he that good.
Evelynn: would I ask for help if he wasn't.
Solas: wait, what does this have to do with Fiddlesticks.
Evelynn: Fiddlesticks is probably the only one who can beat him, and I don't care about winning, I just want Tahm Kench to lose.
Tiara: now you're going to tell us that Fiddlesticks is a good singer?
Evelynn: he might not have an amazing voice, but he has amazing rhymes.
Evelynn: "High above the rotten rows. Cloth and metal. Teeth and crows."
Evelynn: "Fi~ddle~sticks, end of men. Fi~ddle~sticks, first of ten."
Evelynn: "Through the field, down the lane. Voices never heard again."
Akali: okay, those ARE good rhymes.
Grey: what about Raum?
Evelynn: he has a good voice, but he only has one word in his vocabulary.
Evelynn: "caw" that's pretty much all he says.
Evelynn: besides, we never invite him.
Evelynn: he makes deals with people to stay inside their bodies.
Evelynn: that's weird even for us demons.
Tiara: let me understand this.
Tiara: you're trying to keep a SECRET from the Demon of SECRETS?
Tiara: don't you see how wrong that is?
Evelynn: I literally just realized how wrong that is.
Swain: which one of you insulted Raum?
Swain: he's acting violent, and I accidentally killed one of the soldiers because of snapping my fingers.
Brite: he can tell when people insulted him?
Ahri: it was Evelynn.
Evelynn: I would never do that.
Sona: you do realize that he can just scroll up and see what you texted.
Swain: for a Demon, you aren't very smart.
Sona: that's because she's just a dumb hoe.
Evelynn: okay, it was me.
Evelynn: I really don't care anymore.
Evelynn: just help me get Fiddlesticks to our Karaoki night.
Swain: why, in the name of all of Noxus, would I do that?
Swain: in fact, just for bothering Raum, I here by order all Noxians to ignore your request.
Draven: I WAS planning to help, just to get Evelynn into my bed, but now I can't.
Evelynn: f*ck you, Raum!
Solas: you know, you demons are like one big dysfunctional family.
Solas: and trust me, I know about dysfunctional families.
Evelynn: that is actually a good description of us.
Evelynn: Fiddlesticks is the great grandfather that doesn't want anything to do with his grandchildren's generation.
Evelynn: Nocturne is the workaholic parent that enjoys looking down on everyone.
Evelynn: I'm the disobedient and rebellious daughter.
Evelynn: Tahm Kench is the uncle that comes in on holidays to eat everything.
Evelynn: and Raum is that cousin that somehow knows everything you're doing for no reason.
Grey: wait, how is Nocturne the parent?
Ahri: and how are you the daughter?
Evelynn: he actually has a big role on why I was created.
Evelynn: so, is anyone going to help me?
Sona: if you're actually expecting anyone to help you, then you should add "retarded" to "disobedient and rebellious".
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top