So I have a violin exam next Friday

And my teacher keeps telling me

"You have ____ days left"

"With that skill level you won't be able to pass"

OH MY WORD DO YOU THINK I WILL PASS WITH YOU REMINDING ME 24/7 ABOUT IT

I seriously want her to shut up

Her words are affecting me so much

I can't stand it

Just stop pls

You're not even trying to encourage me

All you're doing is bringing my skill level down

The more she says that the more panicked i get

Just shut up

I'm so sick of your words

*literally gets sick without trying*

Ugh

I know my skill isn't up to your standards but plez

Keep yo nasty words to yourself

"But it's the truth"

Just stop. Please.

I already have low enough self esteem. Wait. What self esteem.

I cri.

Saying that just makes me feel worse

Last week you know what happened

She kept saying those and in my head I was just "shut up please just shut up"

Then I got emotional-ish and lied about it saying I was sick

I didn't expect to actually get sick though

Then I went all quiet and she thought I was mad at her

I went quiet because I knew that if I said one word at that moment I would break down

I asked to go to the bathroom and just ended up crying

However I knew that I couldn't do it

I knew that I would probably fail the exam

I just wanted a little boost of confidence in myself

I tried smiling at my reflection in the mirror but it just made me feel worse

Then that moment when I came back she said those words again and the tiny piece of confidence I had mustered up had literally shattered into a million pieces

*snaps fingers* and just like that, it was gone.

Now I prefer school over weekends

We have a holiday on Monday and guess what.

She added a lesson there

Now I'm just dreading to see her knowing she's gonna make me feel worse because I haven't gotten the chance to practice at all today

I was planning to though

I'm not asking her to sugarcoat everything for me

I just want her to stop saying those things because I. already. know.

I want to tell her this but I don't want it to come off as me being rude

I just

Don't even know anymore

I apologize if my comments on you guys' books seemed really dead and stuff

I didnt mean to be rude or anything

#DeepStoriesWithSammiAt11AtNight