CH 9.1 Embarrassment
As Alex and Razz entered the InterSpec Consulate, a group of Anolis warriors stiffened in their chairs. Conversations ceased as all eyes turned to them with reverence. Alex's boots echoed against the marble floor, creating an ominous presence as they made their way into the main lobby.
Alex theatrically hopped onto the table. Her eyes flashed, and she pounded her fist against her chest dramatically. "I have reclaimed my mate Razz from some moron who challenged me to the death. Razz foolishly traded his freedom to protect me from Reek's plot to kill me," Alex shouted. "Despite his idiocy, I will still emancipate him, but I will kill any female who claims any of my emancipated males. It makes no difference to me if he gives up his emancipation willingly or not. Death to that female. A slow, painful death by an angry mammal. You do not want to see how I kill your kind. It's ugly. My kind truly wears reptile hides for boots and purses."
Alex leapt from the wood table and stormed away, Razz trotting behind her. Voices rose in an angry chorus as she reached the door to their quarters and wrenched it open. She pushed Razz inside, slammed the door shut, and slid a thick metal bar into place.
"What has your back up?" Rile twisted his torso and swung his legs over the edge of the bed,
Dex was sitting on a chair in the corner, curled up into a tight ball, looking like he wanted to shrink away until he disappeared from view.
Alex pointed an accusatory finger at Razz, her voice rising as she spoke. "This idiot traded his emancipation for some female, as if I would want him to do that or as if I was such a coward as to allow him to make such a trade!"
Razz's legs quivered and his hands shook uncontrollably as he spoke. His voice wavered and his eyes filled with sadness as he apologized.
She felt a lump form in her throat. "I don't want to hear it. That you think I would tolerate such a deal not only angers me, it hurts. You hurt me, Razz, more than any sword or dagger ever could." Without waiting for a response, Alex pivoted on her heel and opened the door to the poolroom. "I'm taking a bath now. Alone."
Rile looked at the trembling male with a mixture of anger and pity on his face.
"I never meant to hurt Alex," Razz said.
"Well, you did," Rile replied sharply, his voice laced with anger. His eyes narrowed as he studied him coolly. "Pretty good job of it, too."
"But I do not understand."
"Let me explain something." Rile looked at the bath door to make sure that it was closed. He waited until he heard the waterfall start and drew nearer to Razz. "On her world, it is the males who dominate and they do the raping."
"Oh. Oh! You do not mean—"
"I do. Several times by the same male. It's why she freaks out over the whole thing and would challenge every Anolis female on this planet if she could. When you traded your freedom for her protection, you made her feel like she was a rapist herself, trading sex with you for something for herself. That's why she's so hurt and angry."
"Oh no." Razz looked even more miserable and his head drooped. "Poor Alex, it explains much." He thought for a moment. "I would not like to meet the male that could do that to Alex."
"I did, and I executed him for his crimes," Rile said.
Razz fastened the gold and opal collar back on. "Excellent."
"Razz, you're a bit bloodthirsty."
"I would die for her," Razz said.
"No, don't. That would only make her more insane. You have to live for her. Take care of yourself and stop doing stupid things that endanger yourself."
"I must apologize."
"No, don't. She won't appreciate that I told you—" Rile was too late to prevent the small, nimble Razz from entering the bathing chamber.
"Told him what?" Alex looked up from her seat in the water.
"He explained how much I had hurt you by what I did." Razz shed his clothes and stepped into the water.
Rile breathed a sigh of relief.
It was premature.
"He told me that you had been raped yourself. That I made you feel like a rapist when I traded myself for your protection," Razz continued.
Razz's words hung in the air like a gust of winter wind. Alex's eyes widened in disbelief and her jaw tightened as if she was fighting to keep from screaming. She stumbled into the chest-high water without stopping. Closing her eyes, she ducked under the water, and remained submerged for a few moments. She surfaced, wiping away tears as she hugged herself tightly.
Rile unbuttoned his shirt and stepped out of his pants, then stepped into the hot bath water. He waded over to Alex and sank in beside her. The warmth from the water enveloped them as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tenderly stroked her hair. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I thought if he knew, it would keep him from ever attempting it again."
Alex nodded, but didn't turn around. "I know you were trying to help. But Rile, it's too painful and humiliating for everyone to know. If the Anolis females find out, they'll double their efforts to humiliate and kill me. They'll see it as the ultimate weakness. Did you think of that?"
"Not exactly," Rile admitted.
Razz glided through the water, stopping just short of Alex. He looked up at her with pleading eyes and said, "I will keep your secret safe, mistress, even if it means facing death."
Alex's expression softened as she looked into Razz's trusting eyes. "No," she said firmly. "It's not worth risking your life or compromising yourself for me. I would never want that. If it comes down to it, I'd tell them myself so you can remain safe." She tenderly cradled Razz's head in her hands and implored, "Please understand why I can't ask this of you. Please."
Razz gazed into Alex's deep brown eyes with a mix of shock and confusion.
Alex's voice filled with desperation as she enunciated each word slowly and firmly. Her dark eyes were intense, focused on Razz like a laser beam as she demanded, "Swear to me you will never trade one drop of your blood, not your life, and not sex for me. I couldn't bear it. I would rather die. In fact, I will die to ensure none of those things happen. Now swear."
Razz stood before her motionless, his mouth slightly open in shock. His wide black eyes searched hers for an answer. "I love you."
Alex sighed heavily and her gaze softened. She closed her eyes tightly for a moment then reopened them, but the sparkle had left them. Her shoulders slumped in dejection. "You're just grateful. Now please swear it."
Razz looked deep into his eyes and said, "I swear it. It is not gratitude on my part. I love you." He kept his gaze steady on hers for a few moments before Alex shook her head.
Alex said, "You can't love what you don't truly know, and I cannot have this conversation now." She turned away from her and waded to the side of the pool, pulling herself out of the water and onto the edge.
Razz looked at Rile, who was frantically motioning for him to stop.
"I'm going to bed. Keep the door barred," Alex said.
Alex was curled up in a tight ball on the bed, her arms tucked tightly around her chest like she was shielding herself from pain. She wore the soft, floppy long-sleeved PJ's Zilik had made for her.
Without saying a word, Rile climbed onto the bed and gently ran his fingers through her hair. Encouraged by the response, Razz moved to Alex's front and lightly embraced her. Dex remained huddled in the chair, watching them with heavy eyes as if he was too weary to move. Gradually, her tense muscles began to unwind and relax until she finally drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
"Rile," Razz whispered once he was sure Alex was asleep. "Why did she become so upset when I said I loved her and she said it was just gratitude?"
Rile locked gazes with him, his expression heavy with some unnamed feeling. For a moment, a quiet stillness settled between them before he finally spoke. "I don't know if I should tell you."
"Please, I want to understand. I want to help."
"If I tell you, will you swear not to tell her that I told you?" Rile asked. At Razz's nod, Rile continued, "She saved my brother, Gabe, when they first met and they became a couple. With the way things have been turning out, especially lately, she's convinced that he doesn't care for her and was acting out of gratitude."
Razz looked towards Alex's sleeping form with pity, mumbling, "Poor Alex. Is it true?"
"Gabe doesn't confide in me." Rile joined Razz in his Alex-gazing.
"What do you think?" Razz asked.
Rile was quiet and resumed stroking Alex's hair. After a length, he said, "He doesn't act like he loves her but he gets all possessive of her, the jerk. One weird relationship."
"But you love her," Razz stated.
"I do." Rile let Alex's hair flow through his fingers and planted a gentle kiss on her forehead..
Desperate hope filled Razz's eyes as he pleaded with his friend, "I wish that she would choose you."
"That makes two of us, but she has this annoying sense of loyalty and honor." With utmost affection, he laid the back of his hand against her cheek.
"It is misplaced," Razz said.
"Exactly. To my brother who left her for that witch Cla. Tell her that." Rile said, bitterness dripped from every syllable.
"But I intend to tell her - if it helps, I know that she loves you. You deserve to know. I am not competitive over females." Razz reached out and brushed Alex's hair away from her face. She didn't stir.
"Why do you think that?" Rile asked. "I can't imagine she told you."
"I watch Alex closely. She will not tell me her desires and preferences, so I must observe her for them." He paused, and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I have seen the way she looks at you when you cannot see her. It is a clear desire."
"Thanks." Rile sighed. "I don't know if that helps or makes it worse." He picked up Alex's hand and kissed the palm. He held it against his muzzle and closed his eyes.
"She does sleep deeply," Razz said amusement twinkling in his voice. "I will help you. There are a thousand subtle ways to prod a female in the direction that you wish her to go."
Rile opened his eyes wide and looked at Razz, a puzzled expression on his face. "Why would you do that?"
"Because it would make Alex happy. I do not know this Gabe, except that he has caused Alex pain and has gone willingly to Cla. That makes him untrustworthy. It is the talk of all the males how Mina beat you for refusing her. It gives them hope, especially since your brothers seem quite happy to cooperate with the females."
"Yes," Dex whispered from his spot on the chair.
"Well, I've certainly had a taste of the embarrassment that I dished out to Alex. I swear I will not do it again," Rile said.
Alex lay sprawled across the bed asleep, her peaceful face illuminated by moonlight streaming through the window. Unaware of the plans being made for her, she seemed almost angelic.
***
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