but my third eye is going blind
i'm unaligned with my body and mind

it's playing tricks, i say i'm fine
but really it's hurting me deep inside

airplane mode
limbo

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

You kept your head down as you passed through Parisians, most of their streets occupied by adults who would surely be sending you questioning stares, as your young face belongs in a school at this hour. Hopefully none of these people knew your variant's parents personally.

Besides the questioning, disapproving looks from the Parisians, the trek back to your home was nice and mostly quiet—to whatever extent a busy city could be. But with peace and quiet, there always comes unwanted thinking.

What could Dawn mean about your 'uncharacteristic behavior'? It wasn't like she had been watching you the whole day. . . right? She couldn't have possibly gotten that vibe from that short conversation you had with her in the locker, could she?

This whole situation was stressful. One day, you're having fun with your friends, laughing the night away, and then suddenly you're fighting some maniac who owns a mutated goblin that somehow ends with you waking up in a whole different universe. Is it really a crime that you're acting uncharacteristically?

You pushed open the door that led to your variant's room with a grumble, throwing your bag onto the bed as you closed it behind you. Only then after you had changed into much more comfortable clothes, and sat there staring at the wall for a few minutes, did you finally take your mask and tech out of your bag—unsure if you wanted to hash things out with Dawn right now. What you needed was a nap.

"Okay." You huffed, crossing your legs as you twirled around in the spinning chair sat at your desk. "Let's get this over with."

"Over with? You don't sound so keen to converse. Is there a reason why?"

You allow yourself to think over what you're feeling, what you've been thinking about since you left the school. You were confused. Anxious, and the tiniest bit of upset. Okay, maybe a little more than that.

There were so many things that were gnawing away at the thick skin you've built over the years, Marinette's words still ringing in your ears, that snapped and popped into anger and frustration where they brewed in the depths of your mind.

And to top the mess off, your AI has made the observation that your behavior was uncharacteristic? There was just too much stress for you to handle, of course you're going to act out of character!

"I'm just. . . thinking about what you said before Adrien walked in." You shrugged, fingers mindlessly playing with the bracelet around your wrist, anxiously waiting for Dawn to answer with her reasons. Maybe you were thinking way too much into this, or maybe Dawn was making it into a bigger situation then it needed to be. Either or, you were ready to hear it. Like it or not.

"Right. From the conversation you had with me, to the talk with Adrien; I have reasons to believe you being here is altering your brain chemistry in drastic ways, hence the uncharacteristic behavior you've been displaying lately and the rash decisions you've been making."

You feel sick to your stomach, Dawn's words knocked everything you were worried about out of the ballpark, replacing it with her own. Her observations were never wrong, not when you were the top of the state AI created by Tony Stark, himself. Yet, still, you decided to challenge her.

With a simple tut, despite wanting to throw up the red velvet cake Adrien had given you before you left, you waved off her worries with a wave of your hand. "Well, I think it's just stress. Don't you think you would have caught it the day I arrived here? You said it yourself, that everything was fine except for the whole invisibility thing." You shrugged, using your leg to push you across your room, bumping into the bed-frame.

"You say it isn't so, but your heartbeat had surpassed 100 bpm while you talked with Adrien, as if you were talking with Peter."

You tensed at her statement, at his name. Not too long ago were you worried about him, but hadn't thought about him in a while. How could you have forgotten Peter? Your true best friend?

"I was just nervous to know what he knew about my alter ego." You shook your head, refusing to believe you had forgotten about your feelings for Peter so easily, refusing to believe you were distracted by a boy who you hadn't known for more than a week. It wasn't possible! Not when Peter has such a big impact on your life!

But how could he when he wasn't in your life at this second? You could slap yourself for even thinking up a thought such as that one.

"And the bracelet you're wearing?"

The fingers that were mindlessly fiddling with it stopped, your hand wrapping around it-protecting it from nothing without a second thought to be spared. "It's pretty." You whispered, throat tightening.

There was no hiding it from yourself when even yourself had been questioning about it, too. But surely, this was all one big misunderstanding. It could have slipped your mind the day you had decided to wear it. That's all.

"And what of the robotics team? You spoke of Max persuading you to join when it first began, when it was established long before we arrived. Is any of this not concerning you?"

Your brain silenced, Dawn's words finally reaching through your thick skull. What was wrong with you? Why were you growing aware of the things you've done, not as yourself, but as your variant? To you, none of this made sense to you. You wanted to stay oblivious to it all, pretend that you were doing just fine---that your brain wasn't shifting off its axis and you weren't crazy.

You still have feelings for Peter, not Adrien. That would be ridiculous considering you've only interacted with him twice, at most. But it still didn't explain why it was getting so easy to talk with him. Everything was scary, and confusing you. All you wanted-needed-was some rest. That would fix everything.

"C'mon, Dawn." You scoffed, throwing yourself out of your chair and into your comfy bed. "I said that in the heat of the moment. It might not even be true!" You exclaimed, scooting up to rest your head on your pillow. "Besides, there are other things we should be worrying about. Like getting home?"

It needed to be done, and fast. If you being here had started up your panic attacks again, and have been implementing memories that weren't your into your brain, then there isn't telling what could happen if you stayed for more than a week.

"You're right. You'll need to speak with Ladybug and Chat Noir soon to find out what they know, or who they know that could get you back home."

You frown, still a bit moody about the words exchanged about your alter-ego. "I don't know if that will be happening anytime soon. The bug had quite the choice of words to say about me." You grumbled into your pillow, now laying on your stomach.

"But let's talk about this some other time, yeah? I think a nap is in order." You yawned, pulling off your mask before she could protest, closing your eyes with a sigh of contentment.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

You watched with mild amusement for the boy in front of you, watching him pace back and forth in his fencing uniform--who had just came back from tryouts.

"I'm not going to make it." Adrien sighs out, allowing himself to fall in place next to you. "You're going to make it." You chuckled, nudging him with your shoulder.

Despite his family name being well known, all thanks to his father, Adrien would still have to fight for his spot on Mr. D'Argencourt's fencing club. One simply couldn't just waltz in and claim to be the best. Absolutely not. You had to prove it no matter your name.

Yet, another hobby his father insists Adrien to excel at, where no room for mistakes or failure is allowed because, "We are Agreste's. We don't fail, we exceed."

You snickered at Adrien's impression of Mr. Agreste, his voice nowhere near as gravelly as his fathers, making it all the more amusing. But once you saw how his eyebrows pinched with worry, all amusement was lost. "Hey. You're going to make it! I can feel it."

The poor blond looked to you with the saddest puppy look you've ever seen, almost forcing you to look away, when he spoke. "How are you so sure that I will? If I don't make the team, Father would be so disappointed, maybe to the point he'd pull me out of school again!"

And with those very words of his, Adrien passed his worry wart onto you, the tower of confidence you had in his skill beginning to tip over. But you couldn't allow that. It was moments like these Adrien needed his friend the most, and you'd be a terrible one if you didn't continue to be there for him!

You light up with an idea, turning to Adrien with a knowing grin. "You wanna know why?" You baited him, only earning a confused-frustrated-look from the boy. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't wanna know." He pouted, making you giggle.

"But I think you already know." You winked, sitting up from the bench and walking over to your locker. "I really don't." He had laughed, totally baited as he followed close behind you, his worries about his father shortly forgotten.

Opening your locker, you spotted the very thing you were looking for hanging off your backpack, unclipping the dangling thing from its zipper before Adrien could catch a glimpse of it. "Nah, ah, ah. Don't give me that look, young man." You wagged your finger at him, making him groan with laughter. "All good things come to those who wait." You tease.

"You're being ridiculous."

"And you're being impatient."

Clearing your throat, you made a show of the situation by looking around the locker room suspiciously, as if you were about to tell him the secrets of all secrets. "Remember that exam Ms. Mendeleiev gave us last week? The one I didn't study for at all?" You whispered to him, leaning in close.

Adrien grins, playing along as he leans in as well with a mischievous look in his eye. "Yeah. I half-expected you to bomb that, but you passed with flying colors. Why? You're finally admitting that you cheated?"

You gasped out, swatting at him as he snickered behind his hand. "No, I didn't cheat, thank you very much!" You said in your normal tone of voice, finally giving up on your act as you brought your hand from behind your back. "It was because of this." You smiled, feeling proud of yourself that you were able to cheer him up so easily-you dared to say.

Adrien tilts his head in confusion as you sit the charm turned key-chain into the palm of his hand. "The charm your Grandma gave you?" He questions, thumb running over the jeweled spider in thought.

You hummed. "Most associated spiders with bad omen, but not my Grandma." You smiled affectionately for the woman who'd always live on in your heart. "She always believed they were symbolic for good fortune; new beginnings. Protectors." You cleared your throat, feeling a wave of raw emotion coming on.

"This is what helped me pass the exam. It's my lucky charm."

Adrien couldn't help but to melt right then and there. He knew your Grandmother was a sensitive topic for you, but knowing the fact you were comfortable enough to share a piece of her with him meant so much to Adrien. You truly do mean a lot to him. "Wow. That's really amazing." He smiled, hand moving to give you back the charm.

Absolute panic settled in Adrien's heart at your next words, your hands enclosing around his, sealing the charm in his palm. "Keep it. It's done what it could for me. It's your turn to work its magic on."

Adrien's mouth falls open, his words stuck in his throat at your willingness to give up something so dear to you-to him. But he knew no matter what he said, nothing could change your mind. For the only thing he could do was make the promise to keep it safe.

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from squealing in surprise as you felt him practically throw himself at you, happily welcoming his hug with open arms. "I'll take good care of it, (N/n)."

"I know you will."

It was the night after Chloé had managed to get everyone, minus herself, in trouble. As punishment for calling the fire department for a false emergency, Mr. Damocles forced everyone to clean. But as result, Adrien refused to stay friends with her unless she managed to earn everyone's forgiveness.

And what better way to do that than throwing a grand party at the Grand Palais? Honestly, you're a bit impressed what Chloé could do when her friendship with Adrien is being threatened.

Not only did she manage to invite you, her "#1 competition for Adrien's best friend spot", but she had also managed to invite the girl she had despised since Kindergarten! Quite impressive.

That's who you stood with now; Marinette, along with Alya who had arrived with her boyfriend Nino not too long ago. The bluenette watched over the party instead of enjoying it, eyeing the blonde suspiciously as she 'attended' to her party guests.

"And if you're so hot, why don't you take off your fake sheep skin sweater? Throw it in the trash where it belongs!"

Marinette's cheeks puff with frustration for the bratty snob, face twisting in disgust as she watches the fake blonde blow up in poor Mylène's face. But just like how quick she was to explode, she was just as fast to cover up her mistake with a pat to her head and an even faker smile.

The bluenette growls, turning away from the scene as Adrien smiled proudly at the girl who was trying. "This BFF act she's doing is just one big charade." Marinette says with arm crossed and nose pointed upwards. "She's just doing it to please Adrien."

Alya raises a brow at her statement, turning to you with a knowing look. You shook your head at her, not wanting to hear Marinette whine more when she should be having fun. "Uh huh. How funny. That reminds me of a girl who didn't want to go to a party until she heard Adrien would be there." You groaned at the same time as Marinette, watching the bluenette slump at the comparison.

"I'm going to the bathroom." She pouts, stomping a few ways from your small group, before she turns around to shout. "And don't compare me to Chloé!" You and Alya giggle as you watch her go.

The party resumes without a hitch, surprisingly so after Kim waltzed right up to Chloé and asked for a dance. The blonde slowly danced with the jock, her mask cracking a little until she made eye contact with Adrien, an ounce of pride recovering as he smiled at her and gave her a thumbs up for her efforts.

Your heart warmed at the sight, a smile subconsciously forming at the scene, eyes following the boy as he reformed with his other friends-not too far from your reach.

Alya knocks you out of your head with a teasing nudge, a smirk that always followed with mischief. "You should ask him to dance." She says, your body becoming rigid at her suggestion. "Who?"

She huffs in annoyance at how oblivious you were acting, as if she didn't watch you stare at the boy in question right in front of her. "Adrien, girl! You like him, don't you?"

You snort, an awkward laugh squeezing out of you in ignorance of how quick your heart picked up at her observation. "I know it might look like that, but we're just close." You smiled. Plus, even if you did have feelings for him (which you don't) it would be wrong when you both knew Marinette really liked him.

"Close to smooching!" Alya exclaims, making you frantically look around, hoping no one heard Alya's strong testament about you and Adrien. "Keep your voice down, why don't you?!" You whisper-shouted, eyeing Adrien who stood too close for comfort. He totally could have heard that if he wasn't so immersed with conversation.

"I see right through the game you're playing Y/n L/n, and I wont stop till I see that justice has been served." Alya whispers, a mischievous glint in her eye. "What-"

Before you could process what Alya was going on about, an involuntary shriek tumbles its way through as you were shoved into Adrien, both of you grunting at the contact. He was quick to grab your waist, stopping you from toppling over, your mouth dropping open in shock.

"I'm-so sorry, Adrien!" You shrieked, scrambling for an explanation that wouldn't be embarrassing. "Alya and I were messing around and she shoved me." You hissed, turning around to glare at the girl mentioned, but she was nowhere to be seen.

Adrien chuckles, leaving goosebumps in his wake as his hand moves down your arm and into your hand. "No worries. I was actually on my way to come find you." He smiles, turning with you in tow. "For what?" You questioned, heart racing as he grew closer to the center of the dance floor.

"To dance." He says simply, pulling you in closer. You were stunned in place, hands mindlessly placing themselves on Adrien's shoulders as the music shifted into something smoother; slower. If you looked over his shoulder, you could see the conniving Alya speaking to Nino-making it obvious who the shift in music was caused by.

You laughed out in disbelief how things played out tonight, the feeling care-free and so nice as you allowed yourself to enjoy this moment, giggling as Adrien twirled you around expertly. And as you rested your head on his shoulder, allowing the soft tune to carry you both into the night, Alya's words replayed in your head.

"You like him, don't you?"

Your eyes flew open at the realization, your heart skipping a beat when you realized you found your label you've been looking for these past months. Oh no. You stepped away in shock, staring up to Adrien with panic. "Y/n?"

"Is that your teddy bear, Chloé?"

Alya watches you run back and forth in your room, turning things upside down as you look for the items your current objective called for, frantic and crazed as you mumble to yourself about how terrible of a person you were.

She was unsure as to why you had called her over in the first place if you were just going to ignore her presence, but before she could question you about it, you turned to her with a trembling bottom lip and teary eyes. "You were right."

There were no details provided as to what you were referencing, especially when there were many instances Alya had been right, but she was a class-A reporter-she didn't need them to know what you were talking about. "I was right!" She exclaims with sheer excitement, shooting out of her seat with glee that you were finally admitting your feelings to yourself.

"Don't look so happy! What about Marinette?!" You argued, hands trembling with multiple thread rollers. You turned your back to her, shielding the tears that escaped as you put your supplies on your desk, getting to work to distract yourself from the betrayal you've committed.

"No. No way! Do NOT do this to yourself. You can't help what you feel!" Alya says, scrambling over stray items you've thrown on the ground to get to you. "Do you really think you, of all people-the girl who puts aside everything for her friends no matter the cost-would do something like this out of spite?" She sternly says, her face taut in hopes to smack some sense into you.

Your movement comes to a halt, your vision clearing up as you wipe them free of tears. Alya's face relaxes, feeling she had gotten through to you. "You're right." You mumbled, turning to Alya with a somber look. "That's why I need you to promise me." Her face falls as you hold up a weaved bracelet with her favorite colors. "Promise me you won't speak a word of this to Marinette. To anyone." You say.

"But—!"

"Alya, please." You begged, your tears starting up again, afraid you were about to lose your closest friend because of the dumb feelings you weren't supposed to be feeling. "Promise me."

Alya frowns deeply as she thought about swearing to keep the worst promise known to man, wanting nothing more but to keep her foot down and come up with another solution, but as she watched you sit there, begging her, she couldn't find it in herself to decline.

She felt terrible as she reached for the bracelet, slipping it around her wrist. She felt terrible that you felt the need to put someone else's happiness before your own. And she felt even more terrible as she stood there the next day, saying nothing as you showcased Marinette's bracelet to the said girl.

"You didn't have to make this, Y/n! They're so pretty!" She exclaimed, not thinking twice before putting it on, squealing about her favorite colors and beads embedded into the threads; unknowingly sealing the deal.

"They're friendship bracelets! A promise that our friendship will always stand strong, no matter the obstacle!" You smiled, showing your matching bracelet you wore. You turned to Alya with an inkling of worry at how quiet she was being. "Right, Alya?"

She bites the inside of her cheek, her hesitation making you nervous. She could open her mouth and reveal the truth to the bluenette, or she could evidently tear their friendship apart from the seams. Sighing, she holds up her wrist with a smirk, answering with determination. "Right."

Marinette threw herself at both of her best friends, embracing them with a tight hug and an ode to how lucky she was to have them with her, when Alya made her own secret promise-one she had already made that night of Chloé's party.

"I see right through the game you're playing Y/n L/n, and I wont stop till I see that justice has been served."

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

You shot out of bed with a thin sheet of sweat clinging to your body, your chest heaving as the alarm blared its warning.

Slamming your hand down on its snooze button, your mind relived the memories—no. Dreams. They're just that, right? Your brain's own special way to fill in the missing pieces, the curiosity for the things you couldn't possibly hold the answers to?

Running your thumb across the threaded bracelet, you slipped it off your wrist and set it on your bed-side, ignoring the empty feeling it left in its absence as you retrieved your suit from the depths of your closet.

"Long time, no see." You mumbled, sighing out a promise to patch it up before stepping into its confinements, eyeing your mask that you so-carelessly left on the ground beside your bed-Dawn's concerns replaying in your head.

It seemed the longer you stayed here, the more problems arose from the unknown. You were wrong for putting off Dawn's warnings, refusing to believe the intellect of the AI, but you weren't about to bring up the dreams just yet. You need solid proof before you can go ahead and speak of what you dreamt-not until you knew for sure what they were.

Until then, you need to focus on your current objective. Pulling on your mask, you listened to the soft whir of your AI coming to life, parting the curtains that shielded you from the public. "Let's do this right." You muttered.

"To be safe, I believe it would be wise not to use them until we've properly repaired them."

You hummed in agreement, clicking them in place around your wrists, calling forth your invisibility. "I'll take breaks if I need to, but right now I should stay out of view as much as possible." You say, knowing Dawn doesn't like the idea of using your new ability so soon.

Turning invisible was one thing, but keeping it stable is easier said than done. The longer you use it, the harder it gets to withstand the effects it has on your body. You're confident if you used it more for than just last minute decisions, you'd get a hold of it quicker! But that meant putting yourself at risk, and Dawn didn't like that.

"Alright. But promise me you won't over extort yourself like last time."

You climbed over the window's ledge, trying your best to ignore the echo of the recent events of your dream, the ghost of fear and guilt residing deep in your soul. "I promise." You spoke, allowing yourself to dive into the bleak night without another second to spare for another conversation.

━━━━━━━━  𝑻𝑶 𝑩𝑬 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑼𝑬𝑫

edited: 4/19
words: 4272