//* Excuse me while I gush about my character... ALEX!!! YOU'VE GROWN AWWWWWWW

OK. I'm done. :) Enjoy Alex and his slow (oh so painfully slow) realization :D

Some days, I just want to cry. I let tears slide down my cheeks, my tongue popping out from between my lips to suck in the salty water. I sniffle, a quiet sound that Patricia still manages to hear beneath the gunshots and yelling.

"What's wrong?"

You. Me. This. Life. Everything. "Nothing," I say, still wanting to keep up a strong pretense even though I know there's no point. Why am I still trying to do this? Why do I try so hard to stay strong even though I know that it's bound to break down one day. "I'm not strong enough to do this," I murmur.

Did she hear that? The thought flashes through my mind, though I don't know what I want anymore. Do I want her to hear it? Do I want her to help me? Or do I want her to think I'm strong, that I can get through this by myself, that I don't need her to do anything for me, nor any other person.

Rin.

Help me.

Please.

I can't do this anymore!

My tears go from a small drizzle to a full-out storm almost instantaneously. "I can't, Patricia! I can't do this anymore! I don't know how to cope with this! I can't, I can't, I can't!" Tears rain down and I can almost feel the water drying out from within me. "How can I keep surviving in this world where Rin isn't here to comfort me, where the only thing that ever keeps around me is silence and shadows? How am I supposed to stay strong when everything and everyone is constantly out to get me? Tell me, how!" I scream, ready to break down entirely.

I'm done. I'm ready to be gone. I can't keep going like this. Rin, I'm sorry if you see this. But somehow, even my link to you isn't strong enough to keep me here.

My mother interrupts my thoughts. "Sh, sh," she says, her voice gentle and quiet. "No one's judging you here. You don't have to keep up your strong face here. You can cry as much as you want. Cry until you feel better. I'll stay right here if you need me."

Maybe she really is my mom. "Thanks, Patricia."

She just smiles at me, warmth that I had thought only came from Rin coursing through me. "No problem, honey."

"Let's just keep watching, okay?"

"If that's what you want."

"It is."

She smiles at me before taking up the remote and unpausing the movie. I see characters moving across the screen in quick, panicked moves and more yelling, but I can only see Patricia in front of me now.

"Cry as much as you want."

"Cry until you feel better."

Never did I think that words would ever give me such strength. Never did I think that such words would come from her mouth. The only thing that had ever come close to this was Rin's kindness and gentleness with a side of a banana. That was it.

I let more tears stream down my face, and this time, when I feel the warmth of a caring, worried glance at my face, I know that it's genuine.

I want to pour my heart out through my tears. It's genuine, it really is. It's not the fake sympathy I always feel at school, it's not scorn. It's genuine, real, real.

Thank you...

mother.