*trigger warning*
Chapter Twelve: Permeate my Ego

[ In between ~Bear Tooth]

The problem with being in love with your boss is that it's your boss for starters, but also that love makes things so unbelievably difficult, and for Anya she hated it. She hated how he looked at her and made her feel she hated all of it, every second of the damn day, and the worst part was she loved him more and more just as much as the hate grew. It was like he could say something and one minute she hates him while her heart is fluttering outside of her chest.

The issue with being in love with your boss is that everyone around you can sense something is wrong. It's like they know you are in love with each other and are trying to do everything in their power to make it to where you're stuck being around one another constantly. Hotch hadn't told Anya that he knew, that he made Garcia unseal her very sealed and classified medical file,

Garcia refused to read it so she sent it to Hotch's email and destroyed the evidence, she didn't feel the need to spy on her friend, they were perfectly content with each other's relationships and when Anya was ready she would tell Penelope about everything, it wasn't her place to snoop. But she wanted to, thankfully she didn't though.

The cat was officially out of the bag, Anya's secret was still a secret to everyone except Hotch and Derek, only she didn't know that Hotch knew. It wasn't like he was going to tell anyone he figured the higher ups knew and sealed her file for a reason. . but now he knew, and he was even more protective of her than he was before. Which wasn't good at all.

Anya was out with the girls having some quality lady time, Garcia had run off to a different shop to get goodies for her boys and godchildren, while the others just left a coffee shop.

"JJ, that's not the point." Emily starts off.

"Well, are you gonna call him?"

Emily scoffs "Maybe."

" Emily."

"Mick Rawson is an arrogant, Oversexed, egotistical–" Emily list off

"Hot British dude with a sexy accent, badge, and gun."

Anya nods agreeing, "Just your type."

"Ugh."

"You know what? I don't even get you sometimes." JJ says,

" It wouldn't go anywhere."

JJ groans, "You don't know that."

"I know our work schedules."

The blonde scoffs. "Ok, you know what? Will and I make it work."

Anya nods. "She has a point," which causes JJ to smile and Emily to scoff.

"Speaking of not going anywhere let's discuss you and Hotch,"

Anya takes a bite of her donut. "Let's not and say we did."

"You guys haven't been fighting as much. Does that mean that you have resolved your issues?"

She scoffs. "It means I hate my boss less and less each day. However, I still hate his guts."

"Okay, Seriously that is getting old just have sex with each other already and move on."

Anya scoffs before hitting JJ in the arm which causes both of the women to laugh their laughs halting when they see the amount of bags Garcia has in her hands,

"Oh. Oh, no."

The trio laughs as Garcia approaches them. "I know. I know. I know. Don't say it. But when you see what's in here... And it's not my fault. They were calling to me, I swear. And they were all on sale. And when you think about it, that means that I am helping the economy, Which is more than I can say for you guys, 'cause no one else has bags."

"Yeah. Please tell me all of those aren't for my son."

"They're not," Garcia says with a grin.

"Good."

She holds up a small bag. "This one is for Kevin." Anya and Emily laugh as JJ smirks, shaking her head at the woman. "What? It is my duty as a fairy godmother To spoil the child. Henry is finally old enough To be fun when opening presents. I'm not taking them back. Give me my coffee and no one's gonna get hurt."

"Oh, uh, half-caf extra shot venti, 2-pump nonfat, Hold the whip caramel macchiato."

Garcia nods. "Mm-hmm." she takes the drink before sighing happily. "Next stop, Xanadu" the trio clink their plastic cups together as JJ's phone rang, and she fishes it out of her purse.

" oh, wait. Uh... Xana-don't. Time to go to the ball, ladies." Prentiss, Anya, and Garcia sigh.

"Maybe I should get a cat," Emily says.

Anya saunters into the bullpen after all the girls, they place their bags down and head upstairs to the round table room everyone is piling in slowly and Rossi comes strutting wearing a fancy tux. Derek comments about him working on wife number four and Rossi just replies with " I see you, people, way too much" which causes everyone to laugh. Jj debriefs them on the case. The particulars are that the Anchorage field office is asking for them to investigate a series of murders in Franklin, Alaska. Three people have died in less than a week. For a town with a population of 1, 476, That's fairly significant. It's their first murder investigation on record. the victims varied, their names were, Jon Baker, a hunter.Dedaimia Swanson, a schoolteacher. Brenda Bright, the first mate on a fishing boat. There's a new victim every two days and Unfortunately, in a town this small, everyone's connected. The unsub had different kill methods. The first two victims were both shot with a rifle, But Brenda Bright was stabbed twice with an arrow. They start to wonder if it's the same unsub-doing of the killings. All three victims were found in heavily trafficked areas. This means that the unsub wants them found sooner rather than later. Jon Baker's body was left exposed to the elements, But the two women were buried under mounds of trash, the point was they couldn't be sure of anything yet. Franklin is an isolated fishing community That's been hit hard by the current economy. Add to that a series of unsolved murders and everyone is on edge. The local sheriff's out of his depth. And Alaska hasn't handled a serial investigation Since Robert Hansen in the eighties. Hotch explains how they are flying out tonight and that everybody can sleep on the plane. He also asked that Garcia join them on this one. He explains how he tasked a satellite uplink And it's your job to keep us connected. This town's already on the brink, And if this pattern continues, then they have only got another day Until the next murder.

"nature in her most dazzling aspects "or stupendous parts, "is but the background and theater Of the tragedy of man." John Morley

The jet ride consists of everyone changing into warm clothes. This was the first time they saw Hotch on the job without a suit on, Anya was wearing a white long-sleeved turtleneck., High Waisted acid wash jeans and white converse, her hair was down her back and perfectly flat ironed and a claw clip was in her go bag in case her hair was bothering her., she had on some small gold hoop earrings. And her famous locket and bracelet on. The debrief on the jet was very short before Hotch assigned everyone with their task.

"When we land in Anchorage, There'll be a float plane to take us to Franklin. When we get there, Morgan and Prentiss work the crime scene. We need to know exactly how he ambushed his victims. Reid and Rossi, the bodies. Find out what you can there. JJ and I will work on victimology. Holmes, And, Garcia, town records. Find us something we can use."

Everyone nods.

"Of course, sir. I should let everybody know That reception in the area is unreliable at best.

I'm giving everybody satellite phones for communication, And I've already pre-programmed all your digits into a speed dial. Guess who's lucky number 7." Garcia hands out the phones.

Anya was usually not one to hate working on paperwork, but ever since her mini-stroke incident she feels like Hotch was benching her which wasn't what she needed, that girl was like a bull, she needed to buck and run and flip about as much as possible. Or should we become a problem child which was usually her normal, she wasn't always the problem child. But Hotch did always reprimand her on everything. Garcia and Anya were setting up at the tavern, the station was so small that they shared it with the post office so the tavern would be where the team would be working out of for their time in Alaska.

Anya left to find a decent cup of coffee to shove into her face hole and comes back to Garcia talking with one of the locals.

"My name is Penelope. I'm the one who doesn't carry a weapon. Aside from my biting wit" Anya chuckles sitting down next to Garcia on the couch "This beautiful Nubian goddess". Garcia points to Anya who poses, causing the man to laugh as well.

"I am Anya, I actually do carry a weapon, my job is profiling, studying behavior"

Garcia smiles. ".And my job includes combining my kick-ass systems With your sheriff's department database To get the skinny on your neighbors and you."

"Or you could just ask us what you want to know. I mean, isn't it better to just talk to us directly Than look up our dirt secretly?"

Garcia and Anya both shake their heads. "No. Because in my experience, The information superhighway never lies and people do. Your name would be?"

"Josh. My mom Carol, owns the place."

Anya takes a seat next to Penelope. "It goes like this. Here we are. Joshua Beardsley, age 23, was Born right here in Franklin, AK. Moved to Anchorage for middle and High School. Majored in hotel management at Seattle u. And you moved back home a few weeks ago." Josh walks around the couch and takes a seat next to Garcia on the other side.

"Perfect timing, huh? I come home, people start dying."

Anya nods. "Hmm. That's when Pen checks your criminal record."

"And you, my friend, are clean as a whistle."

Josh makes a face. "What does that even mean?"

"No idea." Garcia laughs along with Anya.

"No dirt, anyway, so, I guess I'm safe, then?"

"For now," Anya mutters as the trio laughs,

After an hour the group all comes to the tavern, where Garcia and Anya eagerly greet them, and they begin talking about their findings. He's already experimenting with his victims. He violated Brenda Bright with an arrow. And he's inciting panic. People who have lived here most of their lives Are packing up to leave. Can you blame them? They have a psychopath Whose hunting ground is a town of 1, 400 people. Most of them grew up learning to kill animals and start fires. It sounds like your basic hunting killer. Think about it. The marksmanship, The urine-- it makes sense. It's a hunter's trick. You urinate downwind to keep the animals away. Basically, they've got a psychopath with hunting skills Who knows the routines of everyone in town. How are they supposed to keep everyone safe? Hotch suggests that the sheriff issues a curfew Until they have the unsub in custody. Nobody is out after dark. Before he decides to call it a night,

"Good. The rest of us should get some sleep, Start fresh in the morning." Hotch says

"I've got five of the upstairs rooms available."

"Uh, five?" Reid asks.

"Come on, that's the best we can do. Your team is double the size of my department. I'll see you in the morning."

Hotch nods at the sheriff who leaves. " Good night. It looks like we'll have to double up."

"I'm not sleeping with Reid," Derek whines as Anya laughs.

"Dibs." Garcia grabs Morgan's hand.

Rossi sighs, "I'm too old to share a room with anyone."

JJ and Emily are already grabbing each other's bags. Reid shrugs happily that he was getting his own room in the end which leaves Anya with Hotch. They grab their room keys and Anya drags her go bag up the stairs, she hated the idea of sleeping with Hotch, the room was nice but Alaska was cold and the bed wasn't at all Big,

"I can take the couch," Anya just stares at the small piece of furniture, she felt bad making such a large man sleep on such a tiny piece of furniture. Of course, before anyone could actually get settled there was another body this time it was found by Garcia, Derek was comforting Garcia while everyone was outside looking over the body. Derek wasn't helping Garcia, he wanted a cognitive interview and Garcia would. He comes back outside, after a few minutes and everyone is talking about the bare minimum of what they can see on the body before Hotch says that everyone should get some sleep.

It was back to the room they went and Anya was completely against everything, she wanted to be in her own room but it wasn't going to work out that way, she does call dibs on the shower, first and Aaron doesn't fight her on it, he was too busy trapped in the case file to notice her departure out of the shower, there was only a certain amount of Hot water so Anya took a quick shower wanting to be nice and conserve water for her roommate. When she exits the bathroom her hair is in two space buns, she has on some shorts, with some thigh socks, and a giant t-shirt that had a cute little Trex on the front who was wearing a night hat and had the words, Tiredtrex on the front. Hotch looks from the file laughing at her shirt, which causes Anya to look down forgetting what shirt she was wearing,

"Hey, Don't judge me Okay? Tired Rex is the only shirt I had cleaned for PJs," she explains as he shrugs smiling in amusement. "You don't have to take the couch, I feel bad."

"Anya it's fine I probably won't go to sleep till late."

She nods not wanting to fight him on it and climbs into the bed, after reading her book for an hour she decides to go to sleep just as Aaron is in the shower. The room was dark until the bathroom door opened, causing her to shield her face from the light

"Sorry, Good night," Aaron says, turning off the light he exits the bathroom in flannel pants and a gray Georgetown law T-shirt. He makes himself comfortable on the couch as Anya bites her lip she is shivering, Alaska is way too cold for her blood. After an hour of her just staring at the ceiling shivering she sits up looking over at the dark side of the room where the couch is, Aaron's back towards her.

"Aaron." She calls her voice barely above a whisper. She clears her throat. "Aaron," she calls louder, he jolts a bit as she scratches her head. "I'm sorry, It's just that I am so cold." Aaron rubs his hands over his face before getting up off the couch and dragging his blankets with him. He places them on top of her before pulling on his jacket and deciding to go back to the couch,

"Well, now I feel bad you're going to be cold.  " He looks at her and she is practically making his heart skip a few beats, her eyes all big and dewy, he says nothing just lifting back the blankets and climbing into bed.

The room is quiet as the two sleep on opposite sides of the bed, their bodies not touching at all. Which was hard in such a small bed, the light breathing heard from Aaron made Anya's head hurt. She finally went to sleep, only to have the worst nightmare of her life. She woke in a pool of sweat, her heart was beating too fast and she was scared, scared and she couldn't get her heart to stop pounding. Anya was in the middle of her sleep when Aaron woke up. He turns to look at Anya who was thrashing in her sleep.

"Anya You okay?" it takes him a moment to realize she is sleeping. "Anya, you're dreaming, you have to wake up." Anya was yelling loudly. 

"Please, Stop." she was begging as Aaron placed a hand on her wrist, this caused her to jump never in his life had he felt such a violent shake, it was unearthing unnatural even and it made his heartbreak.

"Anya!" 

She jolts awake immediately looking around the room trying to bring herself back to reality, the virtualness she felt made it seem like she was high, she was so out of it and yet she was trying to do her best to juggle herself between the now and the then. she curls herself into the tiniest ball as her body continues to shake.

"Anya"

she looks at him but she can't seem to bring herself back down to reality, "-I" She shakes her head almost as if she is mad at herself for not being able to speak. it doesn't help that there's a giant slap of thunder outside and she yelps loudly Covering her hands over her head still shaking. her breathing is labored and erratic, and her heart is racing. She stays in that position head crotched down under her hands as if she was shielding herself.  trying to hide herself from Something or someone. 

"Anya, how can I help you?"

she says nothing trying to figure out how to calm herself. "-I don't- know" 

"Please tell me what to do."

She shakes her head. "I don't know." 

"How about a glass of water?" she nods and he goes for the table quickly pouring her a glass of water, he hands it to her and watches her as she brings the shaky hand gripping the glass to her lips taking a few sips.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I think so." She runs a hand over her head to figure her entire life out.  "I'm sorry, I just had a bad dream." She sighs.

"You want to talk about it,"

Anya sucks in some air, feeling herself giving up hope. She shakes her head, her body turning into sobs. He pulls her close. "He haunts my dreams," Anya sobs, "How can he get away with that? Haunting me without being here."

"I am sorry."

Anya snuggles into him as much as she can, she practically wraps her body around his and he's not complaining, he falls asleep with her hair tickling his nostrils. The next morning they wake up and Aaron admires Anya. He watches her sleep and fights his hardest to kiss her lip, to plant sweet wet kisses all over her.

They get to work telling the profile next week. It starts with how they are looking for an emotionally immature male, Probably in his mid to late twenties, Who suffered a traumatic loss. Now, this loss could be anything. Death of a parent, separation of a spouse, a loved one who moved away. Something that made the unsub feel abandoned and alone. He'll have extensive hunting experience. The bodies were buried not because of remorse, They were buried to protect them from wild animals. His familiarity with the victims' routines Suggests the unsub has lived here for most of his life. He also has extensive knowledge Of the landscape and surroundings. Focus on younger residents with a history of petty crimes and assault. They should look in their trash, Fireplaces, and even in the laundry. Look for signs of bloody clothes or even cuts and bruises. One of the victims may have gotten in a good blow or two Before they died.

Bring in anyone who seems to have something to hide. The unsub has already broken patterns, So he could strike again at any time.

Hotch and the sheriff went to the school to talk with the teacher to see if she remembers students exhibiting early signs of homicidal tendencies. They said it sounded like Joshua Beardsley. He's the tavern owner's son. Anya tried to argue with Hotch that he didn't seem like the type. Anya ends up being bitchy for the rest of the day at everyone, they were sitting downstairs at the Tavern.

Emily enters the room. "Hey. What are you guys working on?"

"Hotch asked if we'd go through Garcia's background profiles, Try to find a link between Joshua and the four victims."

"You find anything?" she asks.

Jj shrugs, as Anya is scribbling her her notepad, she had given up so long ago that she was now drawing pictures,

"They all had hunting licenses."

Emily sighs, looking over Anya's shoulder. "needle, meet haystack. " We need the big guns." she squints down at the photo. "Is that Hotch?" Anya sighs and turns her notepad for everyone to see, they chuckle. It was Hotch with vampire-like teeth, blood dripping from his fangs and the rest of the team was off in the corner running away from him in fear.

"Ripped and ready to rumble." Garcia enters the room.

"Uh, maybe you should sit this one out."

"No, Jaje, I'm OK." She comes over to the couch taking a seat. "Put this bastard where he belongs." She looks at the laptop. " Joshua Beardsley?"

"Yeah. We think he's our unsub."

Anya scoffs. "Who's we? You gotta mouse in your pocket." Anya continues drawing on her sketch pad; she wasn't happy about any of this so she decides that she wasnt going to contribute.

"He fits the profile. Abandonment issue triggered by his father's recent death. Hunting experience,"

" Reid–" Emily was trying to get Reid to stop talking because Carol Josh's mother was in the room

"Experimentation with animals."

Emily scratches her head. "Reid."

"You arrested my son?"

"We brought him in as a precaution," Emily explains.

"I'm telling you, it's not him."

Anya scoffs. "Don't say anything PG they won't believe you, Trust me I tried."

"What makes you so sure?"

Garcia shakes her head. "Because the unsub ran away from me."

"Of course, he ran. He knew you were FBI."

She sighs. "But Joshua knows I'm a techie. He knows I don't carry a weapon. If he was the unsub, I'd be dead right now."

Everyone gets to work now with Garcia and Anya simply continues drawing on the couch as she is protesting for Joshua and the wrongful injustices of Aaron Hotchner not listening to her, she was smart not Reid smart but Smart and the fact of the matter was that she is always right.

"Wait a minute. You said the unsub has abandonment issues. And Craig Ramey was leaving town, right?" She asks.

Emily nods. "Yeah, he couldn't wait to get out of town."

"Ok. Uh... Let's see. Dedaimia Swanson was retiring in a month. She was moving to Florida." Garcia explains.

"What about the other two?"

"Uh Jon Baker just bought the property in Fairbanks, And he and his wife just separated. She just filed the divorce papers." Garcia continues just as Derek enters the room.

"Well, welcome back, Red Delicious."

Garcia smirks. "Take a bite out of this. So far, 3 of our victims Were on the fast track to getting out of town. And let's see..." she begins typing quickly. "Connect four. Brenda just accepted a job in Seattle."

"Anyone else looks like they might be leaving town?"

Garica types more. "Um... I got one. Kat Allen. She was accepted to the summer honors program At the University of Bloomington. She currently works as a waitress at Big John's coffeehouse."

"Penelope, you are–"

Garcia sighs. "So ready to go home."

"Prentiss," Derek says and they leave.

They collected Kat Allen and put her into protective custody that night, only to wake up to another murder in the morning, this time it was Carol, the tavern owner and it was a complete ambush inside her own home, they had to break the news to Josh which really pissed Anya off, she hated this part of the job. She was also freezing her ass off, she had on long overalls, and a black long-sleeve t-shirt, her hair was clipped back with a black claw clip and some black sneakers. She hated the cold, despised it, honestly, and yet here she was freezing her fucking ass off, she didn't have a coat thick enough. Regrouping back at the tavern was fine and all until Anya was shivering all while completely and utterly irritated, she fucking hated everyone and not to mention it was colder than fuck and she couldnt get warm, no matter how hard she tried.

"I got one of my deputies tailing Joshua. If he does something stupid, we're gonna know." The sheriff explains.

"There's got to be a connection we're missing. Garcia, anything?"

Garcia shakes her head, "Their lives have been torn apart, Figuratively and literally, and I can't find anything."

"Try again."

Garica starts typing. "I'm hacking into his college database as we speak. Maybe there's something about his life in Seattle I may have missed."

"Good. All right, why Carol? Why the mutilation? Why the overkill?

"Mutilation?" Rossi asks "You said you found the remains Of mutilated animals in the woods from a rabid bear?"

"That's right."

"Did you take pictures of them?" He continues.

"Of course we did. We documented everything for identification."

"We'll need to see those pictures right away," Rossi explains they decided to go back to the precinct, and then talk with the teacher at the school again, they got a name Owen Porter, Hotch, Reid, the sheriff and Anya went over to Owen's house.

"I swear if this man even looks at me wrong I am breaking his jaw," Anya says knocking on the door to the Porter residence. The door swings open and this tall guy peer in the doorway,

"Mr. Porter, is your son at home?" Anya asks.

"What's it to you?"

Anya shoves the man inside by pushing him right in the stomach,

"Turn that off." Hotch points to the Tv the wife frantically turns it off and Reid and the Sheriff scan the house for Owen, "Did you know?"

"Don't know what you're talking about!" Mr. Porter says as Anya gives him the biggest glare.

"Not for sure. Not until last night. He came home covered in blood."

"He's not here. But the window's open." The sheriff explains.

"It's not the first time you've washed the blood out of his clothes, is it?"

"Don't answer them, Martha!" Mr. Porter yells as Anya steps closer to him fist balled up, just as Aaron stops her with one hand around her other wrist.

"Sit down and shut up." Hotch yells and Anya feels a quick wave of heat rush through her body, she refrains from taking a seat herself.

"I promise he will not lay a hand on you again," Anya warns just as Mr. Porter gives her a look she bucks at him. And he gulps.

"No. It wasn't the first time."

"Mrs. Porter, I understand you're only trying to protect Owen, But you can't anymore," Hotch says.

"He's always been different. He's not like us. When he was a little boy, he used to go out into the woods And come home covered in blood."

"Why didn't you tell anyone, Martha? How could you just sit there and do nothing while people died?" Sheriff asks.

"How did Owen react when Joshua was sent away?"

"He wanted to leave, too. But I couldn't let him," she explains.

"Mrs. Porter, do you have any idea what social isolation Does to a child?"

"I was afraid of what he might do If he ever left here. We knew. We knew what he was." She continues and Anya suddenly hates these people.

"Do you know where he's headed? Was there a place he went to be alone? A hiding spot when you were mad at him?"

"Hiding spot. How the hell are we supposed to know?" Mr. Porter goes to speak and Anya loses her shit.

"Speak when spoken to asshat."She mutters and for a split second Aaron feels slightly turned on by that entire interaction,

"If you know, you need to tell me. I'm trying to help him. There's a mob out there, And if they find him, they're not gonna turn him over. They're gonna take justice into their own hands. If you value your son's life, you need to help me."

"Martha, don't!" Mr. Porter yells and Anya punches him square in his face

"Lake Lafayette. He and Joshua built a fort there when they were younger."

"You'll need a boat upriver to get there," Sheriff explains as Hotch calls Morgan,

Meanwhile, Anya picks Mr.Porter up off the ground and slams him against the deputy Police car shoving him around. "Make sure this fucker gets to the station"

They take the boat to where Owen was and hear him hopping down from into another boat, Anya was on the roof laying on her stomach, a rifle in her hand.

"Owen put the gun down," Hotch informs him.

"Drop it, son."

"Who do you want to take your chances with, us or them?" He nods to the crowd of town's people with guns behind Owen, "Drop the weapons and back away!"

"Can't do that, agents. The boy's coming with us."

"It's not happening!" Hotch yells, and none of them notice the woman on the roof of a boat.

"Back down, Keith. We're in control now."

Keith shakes his head, "What are you gonna do, Steve? He's 16. Send him back to juvie so he's out in two years? He killed my mom."

"He killed Brenda."

"He needs help and he will be held accountable For his crimes," Hotch explains.

"Accountable? Five people are dead. Why'd you done it, Owen? Huh? Why'd you kill her?"

"You left me behind," Owen yells.

"You killed my mom!"

"She sent you away! You left and you didn't come back. Eight years and I never heard from you again." Owen yells angrily.

"Please, just let us take him in." Reid pleads.

"Sorry. I can't. I know what you're saying is right, But I can't do it."

"I'm terribly sorry for your loss, But please just put your gun down so no one else gets hurt." Reid continues.

"Are you kidding? You're outnumbered and outgunned. Who do you think has the higher ground here?"

"Oi! Assholes drop the gun!" Anya yells from her position, the men look up seeing the scope from her rifle shimmering off the sunlight just as Rossi and the others are walking up the pier.

The other men lower their weapons. Joshua shakes his head confused. "No, no, no, What are you-- what are you doing? We can still take him!"

"It's over, Joshua."

"He killed my mom." He says as Keith nods.

"I know, And I'm sorry." Joshua looks at Owen and raises his rifle just as a shot rings through the air, Anya shoots Josh in the knee, he groans and falls into Keith's arms. "You shot him?"

"Be glad it wasn't his head," she mutters she stays up there for a few more seconds before handing the rifle to the sheriff, Aaron grabs her by her waist and lifts her down onto the doc safely. "Please get me the fuck out of here," He chuckles nodding and handing her his jacket, the rest of the day was spent packing up bags and leaving,

Ralph W. Sockman said, "nothing is so strong as gentleness, And nothing is so gentle as real strength."