Trigger warning*
Chapter Fifteen:Retaliation

[Golden Hour ~ JVKE]

Remembering things while joyous is also nerve wrecking all this time you didnt have suddenly comesback to you and in an instant. Now what does one do when there is complete chunk of time were you in love. Utterly and truly in love, with someone you never thought you could be in love with. Anya Holmes loved her boss, they had spent a lovely weekend together wholed up in a hotel room missing out on his brothers engagement party because they were too busy making love, too busy enthralled by one another to care about anything or anyone else.

She had lost memory of something so geunine and true and now that she remembered it, she didnt know what the fuck to do, sure, she could just be honest, tell him she remembered everything, tell him about how her body shudders at the thought of his lips on her body. Tell him how her heart swells when he touches her, or how her cheeks still hurt from all the smiling and laughing. She could tell him that she wants to pick from where they left off.

But what would that even mean? Yes she is thankful she remembered, but she is also scared, scared to be tht vulnerable with someone, especially after everything she had been through with Matthew. Her heart was grounded into dust and she was still trying to sculpt it back together and for what? For a man like Aaron? Whose to say he even felt the same way about her anymore? The idea that she and Aaron Hotchner were meant to be is trivalal but not untrue.

It doesnt help that he knew about her heart condition, or the sideeffects of the new medication she took. She was jittery always, clumsy, the blurry vision made her need glasses, dazed, confused states, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, weight gain. It was like the universe wanted her to be down, but she wasnt about to be, she wasnt about to give in to what she thought the universe wanted. Instead she was going to dive into everything head first.

If Head first meant running through the woods in the middle of the night, chasing after an unsub then so fucking be it.

Hotch decided to take some time to be with his son. Derek and Rossi had been taking the lead of things until he was ready to come back. This was his first case back and the team of behaviorist already solved it within three days.

Back to the running after an unsub in the woods. You see he Kidnapped his daughter and killed a woman named Sarah Ryan. It was pitch black outside as they chased the man through the woods.

Anya runs up shortly after Derek tackles Dale to the ground. The two men wrestling around. Anya is too busy catching her breath. Both hands on either knee as shes hunched over, breathing hard all while trying not to throw up.

"Aah! You son of a bitch!" Derek punches Dale in the face;

The reason being because Dale bite him. Anya reads him rights as Derek cuffs him. They pull the man up on his feet and walk him out of the woods. Before long they o see an agent talking with Jenny Dale's daughter who is sitting on the front porch of the Cabin they found Dale in.

"Let me say good-bye to her."

For a split second Anya can feel his emotions. He was sad about what he did but at the same time he wasnt because of everything he felt, she understood and it scared her made her want to scream she wasnt a murderer. But she felt like she was, her mom died and it was all because of her she was basically the person who murdered her mom. If she wasnt such an anxiety filled child her mom would be here and yet if her mom was her would she be here? In this situation shoving the unsub back from approaching his child he kidnapped, because what? He lover her? Love makes us do crazy things.

She had to call Aaron to inform him on what is going on.

"Hey. Morgan's gonna wait for the ambulance. Bunting and I are taking him in. Yeah--no, the cabin's empty. He just left..."

Of course aaron didnt like the idea of Anya being the only woman in the car full dangerous Men, Bunting was just annoying flirting with the women on the team, making them very uncomfortable, But Dale, he knew how to get to anyone, convince them things that didnt seem true. Or things that were true.

The clock reads around ten pm and Bunting was being an asshole, trying to get a rile out of Dale, agitating a murderer thats not something normal people do. Anya was just glad he wasnt bothering her since they had arrived all her did was flirt with any of the women on the team. As if he had a fucking chance, to be honest, he didnt, not in a million years. Bunting goes on and on about how easy it was to catch Dale, and Anya sat back and thought about.

It was hysterically easy, almost child like. And yet he didnt seem upset about being caught, he seemed more upset that they didnt let him see speak to his daughter. Dale has his head hung low as Bunting keeps insulting the man, his head only perks up when Anya makes the mistake of calling Dale dumb or at least thats how he takes it. She continues by telling him hes impatient and Angry, how taking his own kid to get back at his ex.

"She was a liar. And I should have killed her." He mutters back spitting it out like the words were venmo burning his tongue.

" Like you killed Stacy Ryan. Why did you do it?"

"You wouldn't understand." he shakes his head and if he actually took the time to tell her she probably would, she probably would very much understand, she wouldnt murder someone for it but she'd still understand. And yet? She still cant get how easy all of this was, it was actually starting toi make her skin hot, she was getting pissed. There was more to play than things seem to lead on and it was driving her nuts.

The agents bicker with Dale back and forth for a while, Anya's words cold and sharp. She didn't like him, his cocky ego and the fact that he kept lingering his eyes on her everytime he thought she wasn't looking. It wasnt uncommon for men to stare at Anya, but this stare he was giving her chills. It was creepy and alluring, dangerous and deadly. Maybe it was because she was so pretty or the fact that she didn't treat him at all with respect. Dale starts acting like he's sick, hunching over and pulling his cuffs in front of him instead of behind.

" Oh, I'm gonna be sick."

" What's going on?" Bunting asks.

" I don't know."

" I'm gonna pull over." Bunting pulls the car on the side of the road, while Dale groans, murmuring over and over again about how he's gonna be sick. He keeps groaning and muttering "am I still boring?" referring to the previous conversations just minutes before. That was his trigger, the thing that set him off. People not falling his charm, not loving him. Anya furrowed her brows in confusion at his statement.

" Am I boring?!" he yells at her, she immediately draws her weapon She could feel that eriery feeling in the pit of her stomach. Oit was a game of choices. And right now she had her gun aimed directly at the unsub, the real choice was does she shoot, he was inticing her gaze upon gaze, her finger slowly inching towards the trigger, before she could act on anything she was hit by something.the car was now rolling down a hill and she sits up as she hears Bunting struggling next to her, seeing Dale choking Bunting with his cuffs. An image which was now embedded in her brain.

Dale claims to be looking for the keys but it was more of an excuse to feel her up, his hands were down the cleveage of her shirt, and she could feel his dry chapped skin, roaming around her chest, He continues roaming around all over her body and she doesnt hesitate in biting his arm, until she hears him groan and hiss. He yanks his arm away. There are lights seen above and a man is sliding down the hill towards the car. She blinks a bit, a cool liquid getting in her eyes she just closes her eyes, trying to speak but only a whimpery rasp comes out. Her chest burns, and her heart is clamouring around slapping against her chest. The person who she can tell is a man is now arguing with Dale, she blinks a few times her version now just a blur.

The man was asking Dale if he was crazy for chilling Bunting, Anya decides to search for her gun she begins feeling around while Dale is trying to convince his partner to kill her. He thankfully declines long enough for her to feel her gun under the seat.

They argue more before he pulls Dale up the hill and tells him to get into the truck. Anya unbuckles her seat belt and finally grips her gun. The adrenaline is kicking in long enohgh for her to pull herself up in the seat and shoot the windshield out, she pushes through the rest of the glass ,and climbs out the window and onto the hood of the car shooting at the truck, she tries to focus her vision and she stumbles up the hill firing off a few more shots. Anya drops to her knees clutching her chest. She breathing was labored. She rests at the top of the hill as the truck drives away. taking a few shaky breaths as she lays out partly in the road and partly in the dirt assessing her injuries with her hand. She feels soreness shot through her leg and yelps when she tries to lift her leg from her knee. counting to three before popping it back in. screaming from the pain before crawling towards the road. She sees bright lights approaching and squints. Feeling herself shake from the pain, she was spitting the blood out from her face everywhere.

"men are more ready to repay an injury than a benefit, Because gratitude is a burden and revenge a pleasure." Tacitus.

She can't see anything she just closes her eyes and holds her gun out ready for anything. The light was too blinding. For her to see.

"Anni" she sighs in relief when she realizes its Morgan. "What the hell happened? Are you all right?" she was gasping while nodding.

"Bunting's down there. He's dead."

"Where's Schrader?" He asks as she explains everything, she mumbles off what she remembered from the license plate as she wipes away the blood dripping down her face. All she can think about is how she let him get to her, how she let her guard down and now Bunting was dead.

Hotch and Rossi were cleaning up at the station, everything seemed good, they were even gonna be home in time for breakfast or so they thought, Emily, and JJ come barrelling into the room. JJ is practically shaking with angry while Emily explains what all happened Hotch is quick with his questions. He needed to be there, to make sure she was really okay.

Anya holmes truly did have his heart and nothing was going to change that. He had to focus on the task at hand figuring out where the fuck Dale was. The entire time she was in ambulance Anya begged to be let go, she wanted to jump right into find Dale and Derek was the only person keeping her in the hospital. Making sure she got herself evaulated.

The team's got it covered.

"Don't make me stay here. I'm fine, honestly. Pull this thing over." The thing she was referring too was the gurney.

"Anya you can't even focus. You have a concussion."

She shakes her head at him. "I saw the guy."

"White, 40s, I know."

"Ok, so give me a cognitive interview." she blinks rapidly her mind was racing. She felt like she had taken a drug and this was high before the crash, she hated it alot actually Derek. Shoots down all of her attempts at her saying she is fine and to go back to the station. He just stops at the doors letting the paramedics take her to the back to get checked out. Of course all she wants to do is cry. She let Bunting die and that will forever make her heart hurt, she could use a witty comeback from Aaron right now. Hell she could use a hug just to feel his touch and know that everything will be just fine.

Remembering the time that shared was bittersweet. She wish she didnt remember how good making love to him was. Or the fact that she wanted to do it again. She wished she didnt feel that constant ache in her chest or longing for him to touch her. Because god forbid he would touch her in the right ways. He knew her, he had seen her now, at her weakest, begging like a starved animal. But he loved every minute of it, his smile was big during every moment they shared together and that too made her heart swell. She had never seen him this happy before since they started working together and now she was just enamored by him and he was with her.

Now she was holed up in this hospital room for a while trying not to think about everything, trying not to remember every touch and kiss and euphoric feeling they shared together, how vulnerable he was to her, and yet they were supposed to hate each other, they were supposed to be enemies. Because she had sworn that she could never love him.

After four hours of test and poking and bothering her to no end. They were releasing Anya she was being wheeled down the hall of the hospitals when Derek apporches her. She thanks the nurse for wheeling her this far.

She goes to stand. "I can walk."

"Sit. I like pushing you around." she just chuckles as Derek takes ahold of the chair and starts pushing her. "Does it hurt?"

"If by "it" you mean my entire body, then yes."

They discuss the particulars of the accident. How the partner saw everything in the woods. How He ran away and stole a truck. They truly wanted to know who this guy was. He knew what route they were taking back to the station. He waited for them and he crashed into them. This whole thing feels meticulous.this whole thing was meticulous. And thought out and well planned.

"I couldn't stop him from choking bunting." Anya spits out and for a second she looks human. Not robotic not emotionless like she was giving off. She never liked to show it but she could be dainty and sweet. She could also be cold and cut throat. Piss her off and she would set your whole life on fire in a matter of seconds.

"Anni don't do that." Derek tells her not to think like that. But how could she not.

"He was right there." and now he will haunt her forever.

Entering the police station was the hardest thing Anya had ever done, truthfully she hasd done harder things, but she knew he would be there, and he would be stern and uptight and not want her to do anything. Prentiss was the first to talk with her giving her the biggest hug ever followed by everyone else, JJ pulls up a chair and pushes in it and she tries to act like everything is fine but everything is certainly not fine.

Garcia then informs everyone of Schraders past, he robbed 15 banks In the state of New York in the nineties, but unfortunately for him that money was never recovered. Which was his reasoning for sticking around Lockport. The Records leading up to Schrader's arrest Show this other bank robber Named Dan Otey. And he was looking at copious amounts of time, Then he strikes a deal and all of a sudden Schrader is arrested and It can't be a coincidence. it's not uncommon for criminals to buy jobs Off one another. Maybe that's what Schrader did, But Dan Otey sold him out for a lesser sentence. Which It doesn't make sense. Otey was a rat and now he's the partner? Which doesnt seem right Schrader wouldn't trust him. If anything, he'd want him dead. but he'd use him first. He'd tell Otey that he owes him one And that he might save his life if he helps him get out of this jam.

Hotch paces back and forth looking between his team and Anya every five minutes.

They found out that Dan Otey is a local. He lives off of route 7. Its an hour past midnight when the team is called about a murder that took place and even thought everyone told her to stay back ANya didnt give a crap, people needed her, and she coudlnt rest until he was found and everyone in this town was safe. Besides when did she ever listen? She begins to interview the wife who was a sobbing mess with a lit cigarette in her hand all Anya was taking notes in her note book as the woman talked.

The exhaustion was taking full affect when they got back to the police station and Anya finds herself fighting to keep her eyes open, Hotch approaches her after glaring at the evidence board, it wasnt going to change anything glaring at it, but he needed something else to happen cause Anya was hurting. She snaps her head back up as Hotch places a gentle hand on her shoulder, she jumps but turns to look at him.

"I am awake I promise," she shakes her head about trying to rid her body of the tiredness.

"Why dont you go to sleep? And we will wake you up when we find out more."

She shakes her head, both their eyes studying each other staring into others souls was her favorite past time. "I still like the way you look at me."

His heart shatters cause all he wants to do is kiss her. He brushes a few hairs oit of her face. "I need you to take it easy for me." he still didnt know that she remembered everything from those few days and yet she still wondered what he had to show her that day. What made him so eager that he wanted to share it with her.

She shivers at the sudden closeness, "I-I"

"Schrader gets off on power. That and money are what motivate him." Reid breaks their moment and they head back to the team.

"And revenge. 11 years away, he comes out a murderer. Who needs a partner, somebody as bold as him?"

" And where'd they meet?" Reid turns to look at Anya she has this mile long stare as if everything was hitting her way to close, He squeezes her hand as she turns in his direction.

" Schrader was away and patient. The minute he got out, he hooked up with his partner first, And then he killed Stacy Ryan On his way to kidnap his daughter. What's missing from his day?"

" The money." Rossi says.

" He took his daughter but left the money. That doesn't make any sense."

"Did he have another plan on how to support himself in Canada?" Hotch scowls over the group. It was only the men talking bouncing words back and forth.

"He's only known a life of crime. He's incapable of change. Time away proved that."

" Well, Otey's wife said that the partner locked them away, Like he didn't want them to get hurt." Anya looks up at everyone, she was lost in her thoughts trying to piece everything together like a puzzle.

He was protective. That's weird, right? They're both dominant personalities, But they sound like they played good cop/bad cop. Which is a bit weird in a sense. Anya then turns to Derek who suggest doing a cognitive interview with her, he finds a nearby office to set up.

She takes a deep breath ready to just get it over with. " Let's just do this."

" All right. Tell me what you saw. Was it dark?"

"Yeah. You were there. You know it was." She sasses she peaks open an eye seeing Derek scolding her.

"Come on, now, Ok. What did it smell like inside the car?"

" Sweat."

" So you were hot?" he asks and she pictures everything all at once, her time with Hotch pops into her head and she just lets a ragged sigh.

"Y-yeah. I--I opened the window a little bit. It's really quiet."

" Are there any other cars on the road?"

" There's one coming."

"What color is it?"

" I... It's too bright." she squints her eyes while they are closed.

"Ok, but you looked at it. You saw it."

" It's a 4-door hybrid, black."

"Where was Schrader?"

" He's looking out the window."

"Was he waiting for something?"

" Here comes another car. A car or the truck?"

" It's the truck. Schrader sees it. That's when it happens. He's... Out of his seatbelt. He's hunched over. And he gets his cuffs out in front of him."

"Ok, then what?"

" Uh, Bunting pulled over, And--and Schrader put his seatbelt back on."

"He knew it was coming. Where did the truck come from?"

"Uh, behind us. Uh, no-- Uh... It was in front of us." She turns eyes open, picturing everything happening.

" Who was driving, Anni?" Derek asks as she groans, breathing quickly. He grips her hand as she calms down.

"I don't know. I can't see."

" Ok. It's all right, it's all right. You're sure it was the truck?"

"Yeah. It's a big truck."

" Think. Who was driving? Who was driving?"

" A white male, 40s."

" All right, now your car stops rolling."

" Yeah. Um... I'm pinned. My seatbelt is jammed. I can't breathe. I can't see anything. I can hear-- Oh, god, he's killing Bunting."

"But the partner's not there yet?"

" No."

"Where is he?"

" He's running towards us."

"What's he wearing?"

" Jeans. Boots. He's freaked out that Bunting's dead."

"Why would he care? I don't know."

" But he won't let him kill me And he keeps telling him to.... Wait. He was talking to me. There's a lot He knew we were on that road. He was upset that Bunting was dead. He wouldn't let Schrader kill me. He kept telling me to put pressure on it. And he was calm, like he's done this before." she gets up from the chair walking over to the group surrounding the table. " He was helping me."

"He took Dan Otey's family upstairs, Protected them from Schrader."

" Do we really think a good guy hooked up With a criminal like Dale Schrader?"

It was now six thirty in the morning and Anya was now running on fumes, her eyes ached and stung for sleep but she needed to see this through, her mind was clouded by the images of the events that took place but she was also imaging her time with Hotch. How her skin craved for his touch it was tingly and taught.

They were going over the case over and over again. if he went undercover, then anything tied to the academy Would have to be severed. I mean, the guy graduated, Be he had to immediately start working his history as joey short. He went into construction, Made his contacts in the bank robbery world, And then he met schrader, Earned schrader's trust, And then turned him in and got out of the game. They found out that the guy helping Schrader is Joe Muller. He has a wife and 2 kids

Muller's not at home. No one is. His wife didn't show up at work. The kids weren't at school yesterday or today. Schrader probably has them hostage. The question now here is where?

What could Joe Muller do for him? He can get him the money. But like they discovered before. No one even knows where it is. Its obvious he thinks Schrader knows. Where do these guys like him hide money?

"Would he be bold enough to hide it in a safe deposit box?" Anya speaks up and they all look around thinking for a moment, Schrader can't walk into a bank. His face is everywhere. No one would think twice if Muller walked in. He'd have to have a key. If they could figure out. where Schrader hid the money, then they will know where he is going.

Anya and Derek decided to go to the evidence room and see if they can look over the evidence. When they get downstairs the woman at the evidence desk tells them that Joe Mueller just left two minutes before they got there. The partners run outside getting into a standoff between Schrader who is holding a gun to Joe's head. They shoot Schrader as Joe loses it, getting out of the car and walking up to Anya in a fit of rage, he begins screaming in her face as she aims the gun at him, he grabs her by both of her arms and shoves down to the ground hair a few of her stitches coming unstiched causing her to bleeding. Derek picks him up and tackles him onto the hood of a nearby car in the parking lot cuffing him, while Hotch asks people to start processing the scene and they bring Mueller inside.

Anya is in an empty room she was trying to patch herself in the mirror, but her hands were shaky, Mueller brought back those intense moments from her relationship with Matt. All she could see was him standing over her with that hammer in his hand. The door opens and she watches through the mirror. As Aaron enters he approaches her with an intense stare taking the napkin from her hands and dabbing at her cut. He cleans it as they sit in a comfortable silence.

He just cups her face closing the gap between them, and there it was that giant fire rolling around in her in belly, fighting with the butterflies lighting them into dust. Theres a knock at the door and its Emily telling them that Mueller is ready to talk and their moment is crushed again.

"I will take you out of the cuffs as long as you don't attack Anya again." Derek warns the man who nods as before taking him out of the cuffs JJ offers him coffee and he explains the entire reason he went to help Schrader. He explains how Scrader was the only person who knew where my family was And now he's dead. Mueller said had every chance to kill him. But he couldn't. Because he had his family held hostage for two days. Somewhere.

And this photograph is the only proof of life?" Anya asks, she holds up the photograph, Derek practically forced her to sit on the farthest end of the table as far away from Mueller as possible. He was standing close to Mueller, arms crossed over his chest as Mueller paced. Mueller tells them about how his wife left a message on his phone and they ask Garcia to trace it.,

"When was the last time you saw your family?" Prentiss asks as Mueller starts to think of the last time he saw her.

"You notice any cars on the street?"

"Nothing. Our routine's the same every day. The kids have to be at school by 8:15, then Molly heads to work."

" She didn't make it to either yesterday. What was her route?" Reid turns in his chair to face Mueller who is still pacing but stops to think when they ask questions.

" Uh, north on route 7, east on 22."

" Is that route isolated during the morning commute?"

" No. If he was watching, there's a good chance she never left the driveway." Anya thinks about the entire situation looking at the photo of his wife and kids in her hand.

" I drove out first. I just left them there."

"Where did he find you?"

" At the hardware store. He told me how for 11 years He'd been trying to figure out how he got locked up. He knew Otey had ratted him out for the robbery, But that wasn't enough to put him away. He said I was the piece that didn't fit. He figured out I was a cop."

" And he took your family. Did you ever see this woman?" Rossi holds up a picture of a short blonde woman as Mueller nods

"Yeah. I think she's some junkie. I saw her right after he told me.." Mueller stays quiet thinking for a moment while the team also thinks gears turning in everyone's head. He begins talking about the events that took place after how Schrader stabbed the woman and made him drive away from the alley where he met her to dispose of her body. They all pieced together that he probably was holding Mueller's family Hostage in the building next to that Alley. Mueller takes the, there and they search the building finding his wife first. Derek find one little boy curled up in a ball in the corner of one of the abandon rooms and calls for Mueller to come and talk with his son. A toddler tetters over in nothing but a diaper and Anya

walks over causing the toddler to smile and cooe she picks him up as he squeals from excitement. As they take them back to the mom upstairs. She hugs her babies close thanking the team who watch as they hug and kiss.

"Washington Irving said, "There is a sacredness in tears. "they are not the mark of weakness, but of power. "They are messengers of overwhelming grief And of unspeakable love."

There was a silent knock at Aaron's office door, "Come in."

He looks up seeing Anya in all her glory, tattered and being held together by bandages, she places the case file on the desk as he stands up moving toward her.

"Y-"

"I cant help but want to sleep all the time because thats where I can see you, thats where I can be touched by you a-and" she's silenced by a kiss and her world seems to fit into place with his, he takes her body in his hands places both hands on his thighs, the two stumbling around the room, he reaches for the desk placing her gently on top as the kiss breaks.

She moans as he kisses her neck her hands in his hair, and he then notices the skirt she was wearing how she had managed to change and that scent, god that fucking smell, it was vanilla and flowery and it drove him absolutely insane. He just lets out a low growl his hands making their way up her legs with soft swirls in circles,

"I need to feel you." and after those words everything was set in stone, he was now a puddle on the floor, no one was protesting or fighting, all they could do was be there be with each other making love in his office like nothing was different like they were suppsoed to be here, because they were.

Because she remembered what it felt like to be in love again,

And now she wanted to feel it everyday and with him.