It was early in the morning when I was standing by the library, waiting for Jungkook to show up. All the other students were still sleeping, it was a Sunday morning, usually I'd sleep too.
From the distance I could hear steps coming closer. Soon, I recognised Jimin who was as punctual as me.
Jimin narrowed his eyes as he looked around.

"Is he here yet?", he asked me.

"Can you see someone?", I replied sarcastically.

He shook his head, staring at me intensely.

"So he's not here?", Jimin finally took his eyes off me to look around.

Not wanting to play his dumb game I just decided to ignore him. Impatiently, I was standing next to Jimin. The feelings of mine had been crushed ever since Jimin's words. I felt a million of feelings, all at once and the one thing I craved to do was to just escape. There was no way Jungkook didn't exist, I had felt him. But still, Jimin was making me nervous and I could feel myself on the edge.

Suddenly I was frozen when Jungkook appeared. His eyebrows rose when he saw the unexpected Jimin standing next to me. With quick steps he walked towards us.

"What is he doing here?", Jungkook mumbled as he kissed my cheek.

I giggled when suddenly Jimin turned around. His eyes widened when he saw my expression.

"W-why are you smiling like that?", Jimin stuttered.

Irritated I pointed at Jungkook who seemed annoyed by Jimin.

"Let's just go.", Jungkook grabbed my hand but somehow I wasn't able to move.

"This is Jungkook!", I could feel my heart pumping and my hands shaking.

Something about Jimin's expression told me that he wasn't able to see Jungkook.

"Cinder...", Jimin's voice was suddenly very soft, "I was right."

"What is he talking about? Tell him to go away and leave us alone!", Jungkook got angry.

"Jungkook, do something!", I grabbed Jungkook, begging him to do something so Jimin could see him.

"There's no one! Stop it!", Jimin grabbed my arm.

"Jungkook!", I yelled.

But the boy who I had fallen in love with didn't do anything. With a blank expression, he watched me being dragged away by Jimin. I could feel my heart shattering as the tears were running down my cheek. I tried to get out of Jimin's grip, I wanted to run to Jungkook but I couldn't.

"Don't believe him.", I could suddenly hear Jungkook's soft voice as if he was right next to me, "I love you."

And that was the last moment I could recall from this day, before I collapsed in Jimin's arms.

♧

The bright lights woke me up. Soon I realised where I was. A hospital or a psychiatry. The monitor next to me, showed me my blood pressure. My vision was blurry as I tried but failed to read the numbers.

"She's awake.", I recognised the familiar voice by instant.

"Jimin, I don't know how I can thank you.", I could hear my father cry as he hugged Jimin.

"It's okay, you don't have to. Let's just be glad that she's in good hands now."

I felt a hand put on mine. As I looked up I could see Jimin's brown eyes smiling down at me.

"Where am I?", my voice wasn't stable and I could feel my throat hurting.

"In a good place.", my father peeked behind Jimin's back.

"So am I dead?", I wondered still feeling dizzy.

"No, but you seem high from all the medicaments they gave you.", Jimin chuckled as he immediately turned around to calm down my father.

As my vision got clearer I could also spot Chaelin standing outside behind the curtains. Here eyes were switching from Jimin to me. She seemed unhappy with something but at that time I couldn't figure out why she was so sad.
It was because in that moment she had realised that she had completely lost Jimin. For ages she had known that Jimin didn't really love her, but me. All that time when they were a couple she tried to hold Jimin back from leaving her for me.But seeing us in that moment she knew, it was right.

The door was swung open when some doctors stepped inside. They told Jimin and my father to leave. However Jimin resisted.

"I want to stay here!"

"It's better for you to leave, we're going to ask her some questions and I'm betting that there will be some replies, you don't want to hear.", a female doctor held the door open for him.

Instead Jimin sat down on a chair on the other side of the room, pretending he wasn't there. After a quick exchange of looks with the others, the doctor finally closed the door.

In the next hour I was asked all about Jungkook and what we did. While the doctors were busy writing down everything I said, I couldn't help but cry at the beautiful memories. I was scared to never see him again.

"Why are you scared that you'll never see him again?", the female doctor asked emotionless.

"Because I love him!"

Jimin sighed as he looked out of the window, hiding his face from mine. I couldn't tell why I was feeling weird, saying I loved a man who didn't exist in front of Jimin. I knew that it hurt him, but I couldn't change the way I felt.

"Have you seen him ever since?", another doctor asked me, not even looking into my eyes.

I shook my head. My heart ached once again when realisation hit me, knowing I'd never see him again. Feel his lips on mine and his arms around me.

"I'm not crazy.", I shook my head as I felt my eyes tear up, "I felt him. He exists."

I balled my hands into a fist, trying to stop myself from freaking out. One of the doctors quickly rushed out as I could feel myself not being able to breathe anymore.

"Go out!", one of the doctors yelled at Jimin who had run towards me.

The female doctor grabbed me and turned me around before she pulled out a syringe. The last thing Jimin, my sister and my father heard was a scream before I was transported into wonderland once again.

♧

The last time I saw Jungkook was when I was three months into the therapy. Only two more months were left, before the doctors would give me the green light to start my life over.

Tired from all the medicaments, I was dreaming on my bed when suddenly Jungkook entered, clothed all in white. His skin was so bright that I didn't even recognise him at first. But as soon as he put his warm hand on my cheek,I couldn't believe my eyes. The beautiful boy I was loving so much, was sitting right in front of me.

"Jungkook.", I cried out as I hugged him, scared of letting him go once again.

"Calm down.", he laughed as he caressed my back.

"I can't, I missed you so much."

A light chuckle escaped his lips before he locked his lips with mine. The same rush of adrenaline, which I had become so familiar with, was rushing through my blood.

"Don't go away.", I mumbled in between the kisses.

"I don't want to go away, but you're making me. How could you belive that I don't exist?", Jungkook got off me, his voice suddenly angry.

As he was standing in front of me, I took this time to take in every detail of him. My heart stopped beating when I finally noticed something.

"Jungkook, how old are you?"

"What do you mean?", he replied angrily.

"Why didn't you age ever since I met you in 6th grade, you didn't change a bit. How is that possible?"

Before he could reply I woke up. Sweating I gasped for air when I realised it had only been a dream. I looked around to see everything like it had been before I fell asleep. I was confused and scared about what I had asked Jungkook in my dream. Jungkook had been my companion for about seven years. He had accompanied me since 6th grade but still his appearance was still as young and fresh as seven years ago.
It was in that moment that I realised, that Jungkook had only existed in my mind.

Shaking, I stood up to grab the phone so I could get some more medicine. I was about to dial when a hand grabbed the phone out of my hand.

"I'm here, you don't have to call anyone."

Sighing, I looked at him putting the flowers on the table.

"Maybe I should take a break from buying you flowers.",he laughed as he didn't find any space to put the flowers on.

"Jimin, I told you many times that those yellow flowers are the reason for my allergic reactions.", I sighed.

"Well then I'll give them to the pretty girl next door.", he answered sounding a little offended.

I laid down on my bed again, waiting patiently for Jimin to come back. Relieved I sighed, when his flirting was done with the girl next door and he came back into my room.

"Only eight more weeks to go.", he cheered as he sat down right next to me.

"That's too much.", I shook my head.

"Time flies.", he smiled at me, brushing a wisp of hair out of my face.

"Not in here."

Jimin stood up to go and grab his bag. As he sat down next to me again, he pulled out a pen and a college block.

"Let's make a checklist of what we're going to do, once you're out of here in two months."

♧

I let myself fall into Jimin's strong arms as we were watching the sunset on the beach. I was sure, that people miles away from here were still able to hear our laughter.

"You need to enjoy this moment!", Jimin pointed at the sun which was slowly disappearing in the horizon of the ocean.

"I'm enjoying it!", I smiled looking at the sunset and again at him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?", Jimin smirked, not looking at me but the ocean.

Taking him by surprise, I suddenly put my lips on his. Jimin's eyes widened as he gasped in shock. Reassuring him that what I had done was planned, I kissed him once again. Slowly he put his arms around me as he carefully started kissing me back.

"Thank you, Jimin."

+ so, das it.
thank you for reading, voting & commenting!!! ♡ it means a lot!
I hope everyone liked it, even though it's very sad.. actually it was pretty difficult to write because idk... I just felt so emotional because this isn't fantasy. schizophrenia exists and people suffer immense pain because of it and I just feel so sorry because there's literally nothing we can do against it.

maybe some people recognised it that I was inspired by the film a beautiful mind since I used a quote. if you haven't seen the film yet,and you want to find out more about schizophrenia, I advise you to watch the film.

so, once again thank you so much for reading and I really hope you liked it! ♡♡♡