His love has always felt so real. Simply by his touch hell turned into paradise. His angelic voice, soft and never threatening, always was there to assure me everything was going to be fine. Life had always been like that for me, boring and monotonous. Besides all the lows, I never felt joy to live. After having met him and seen the other side of life, my life before him was a little girl trapped in a dark and deep well. The meaning of life always meant to me to just withstand it. He showed me the most beautiful thing about life, which is love. And for that I'm forever grateful and for that I will always love him, no matter what others tell me.

The first time I had seen him was in the library. Me, a little girl in 6th grade with braces and two ponytails, was trying to prepare a book presentation since working at home was unimaginable. Either my brother or my step sister would step in and distract me with their problems. Or it would be my step mother, telling me what to clean.
So I loved going to the library, the calmness and the precious time to take a break from my daily life.

The presentation was due the next day and I was only half finished, even though it was already getting dark outside. From the outer corner of my eye I caught him standing behind the bookshelves. That little grin forming on his lips didn't intimidate me. In fact, his warm aura made me feel safe. When suddenly that safe feeling disappeared I looked up. He was gone. Hastily I packed my stuff and looked for him behind the shelves, however he was gone.

His eyes, his grin they never left my memory even though I used to forget how people I had talked to had looked like after only an hour. It gave my heart a soothing feeling and in times in which I felt like I was carrying too much burden, I dreamed of him. His brown soft eyes and his mysterious, beautiful smile.

Years passed and I had changed. The 16 years old me was a weak girl, trying to keep up with school and trying her best to fulfill her father's wishes for me to become like my step sister. I met him again in the night I had needed him the most.

My head was full and once again I had this feeling of living a life without a meaning. The heavy rain outside didn't stop me to run to the next bus stop, knowing there were no busses at this hour. Everyone was at home, living their normal lives while I had to deal with my problems again. Tears were running down my cheeks while I was sitting down, ignoring the heavy rain. I was so into my crying that I didn't realise the rain not hitting me anymore. As I looked up I saw him again. His brown eyes, his round nose and his little grin.

"Why?", he simply asked me, holding the umbrella firmly in his hand to protect us from getting any wetter.

All I could do in this moment was stare up at him and admire his flawless face. His face was just like I remembered it to be, there had been no changes.

Catching me off guard, he stretched out his hand. Shyly I put my hand into his.

"Would you like some tea?", he helped me standing up.

Still shocked by his presence I slightly shook my head. My shyness seemed to confuse him since he tilted his head. Suddenly he started to smile, revealing his bunny like smile.

"I've been watching you from over there for a few minutes and at first I didn't dare to come closer because you seemed very disturbed... but if I can tell you one thing, it is that it doesn't matter why you cry. You shouldn't.", his soft voice was exactly how I had imagined it to be and I couldn't but stare into his eyes.

"Sometimes it helps me.", I heard myself saying, not really knowing what I was saying.

His grin disappeared and his expression showed me he was suddenly concerned.

"You should be happy.", he stated quietly, still holding the eye contact.

"What's that?", I joked even though it felt like a stab through my heart.

Luckily his grin appeared again and for a short moment it was silent. I looked to the ground, breaking our eye contact when I suddenly heard him murmuring:"You'll see."

✿✿✿

Days passed, weeks passed, months passed and in total 2 years. Luckily I had managed to graduate and even though I hadn't gotten into the university my father wanted me to, I was accepted for another. The only thing that mattered to me was getting away from home.

Slowly I had gotten into the routine of my new life when he appeared again. It was in the library and he was sitting at the very end of the room. From the other side of the room I could spot a free chair next to him. Picking up all my courage I walked towards him. Each step was equally difficult. The plan was not to talk to him but see if he remembered me. Slowly thoughts of the last time we had seen each other appeared. Maybe he had thought of me as a psycho, as a weird teenage chick since I knew he was older than me. I was so close already when those thoughts were finally achieving what they wanted, I froze. And in this exact moment he lifted his head up, our eyes meeting.

The thing I was best at was running away from responsibilities, so I turned around and walked towards the stairs. I was already running down the stairs when I heard someone follow. I had reached the ground floor and was surprised there was no one there.
His touch caught me off guard. His hands grabbed my shoulders, however although he was grabbing them it didn't feel harsh. His soft fingers made everything so soft.

"I guess you remember me.", he smiled and stepped in front of me.

Dying of embarrassment I could feel my palms starting to sweat.

"Do you?", he asked me, waiting patiently.

Hastily I nodded, wanting to bury myself with all the dusty books this library had to offer.

"Since we've met again I think it's fate that we have to get to know each other.", he reached out his hand.

Hoping he wouldn't feel any wetness I reached out my hand.

"My name is Jungkook. And yours?"

"Cinder.", I replied.

"Nice to meet you, again!", Jungkook chuckled still holding my hand firmly.

Awkwardly I let my hand in his, waiting for him to take his hand back, but he didn't.

"Nice to meet you again, too!", I emphasised the again just like he did and finally he let go of my hand.

"Why don't you come back upstairs and sit down next to me?", he suggested.

With a heavy pounding heart I agreed and followed him to the spot.
We sat down and once in a while he caught me looking at him. It was fascinating to see how absorbed he was into the book. Whenever he caught me, he rose his eyebrow a little and smiled at me mischievously. It was that I simply couldn't help it, I had never seen such a handsome person before.

After 30 minutes, in which I repeatedly failed in attempting to actually study, he put down his book and started packing. Panik was suddenly rushing through my veins as I thought he'd just leave. Instead he suddenly leaned over and put his hands on the table, close to mine.

"Let's get to know each other a bit more, shall we?", at this moment I thought it would be stupid to mention again that his angelic voice was intimidating me.

"S-sure.", I stuttered, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks.

With shaky hands I closed the two books in front of me and packed my stuff, feeling vulnerable by him following my every move.

"Let's just ask each other a few questions. You can start."

"How old are you?", I tilted my head, scared my question would let him know I was romantically interested in him.

Indeed he was suddenly laughing but his expression changed quickly when his brown eyes were again fixed on mine.

"20 years old. And you?"

"I just turned 18.", I stated.

"Cute.", he commented.

And with that we started having a real conversation. Even though I thought it would become awkward, it didn't. There was always something we could talk about since we shared a lot of common interests.

Soon, we would meet regularly. Of course always the same table in the library. Studying next to him was difficult since he was such a distraction. But for me, he was like a therapy. Never had I laughed this much in my life and as time flew by I felt like he was actually caring about me.

It happened once that it was snowing and I had forgotten my jacket at my friends place, needless to say I was drunk. In the middle of the night I ran back, giggling and being joyful, not feeling the cold thanks to the alcohol in my blood. I kept on running when I suddenly ran against something tough. Before I could fall to the ground he caught me.

"Are you crazy? You're going to catch a cold!", Jungkook immediately took off his jacket and wrapped it around me.

As a reply I simply giggled at him.

"Oh no, don't tell me you're also wasted?"

He brought me home, made me tea and wrapped me around with dozens of blankets. And in the next morning my jacket was hanging on the chair.

This was the first time I felt loved.