37. Message
Author's Pov -
"You are joking right? " Avni asked with tears as soon as rohan disclosed the news of Neil attempting suicide.
"Do you think? " Rohan replies sadly starring at her.
Avni's eyes widened with fear. Her lips trembled to speak out anything. She couldn't believe her ears. Neil? Suicide? Her heart thumped massively as she could feel herself getting hyperventilating.
"What happened to him? Is he fine? Tell me rohan? Where is he? Oh my God. " Avni cried out.
Rohan stayed silent.
"I'm asking you something rohan. Why aren't you answering to my questions? how is Neil ? Why the heck are you here when you should be with him in hospital ?". Avni shouted with red eyes.
"He's fine and under observation of doctors. " Rohan mumbled looking down.
Pari and avni felt an instant relief ,they only knew how their heart raced hearing the worst news. Avni immediately went to kitchen and gulped a glass of water to calm herself. She was so scared.
"Why are you here then? You should be with him. " Avni said walking back to hall.
"His parents are there with him and I'm here to tell you something. " he says.
"What? What you want to say ?" Avni frowns.
"Don't take me wrong and answer me honestly. Did anything happened between you and Neil that he took such a drastic decision? " Rohan questioned.
"Do you think it's related to me? " Avni asks blankly.
"Are you dumb Or tubelight? Of course it would be related to you Avni." Pari piped in for which she earned a glare from avni.
"Are you doubting me rohan? Do you really think Neil did that because of me? " Avni whispered with tears.
"No, it's not. " Rohan blurted out giving her a hug. "I just want to know what happened between you too."
Avni broke the hug.
"We had a heated argument and I told him not to show his face and after that I haven't seen him. " Tears escaped down her eyes.
Rohan nodded.
"Rohan, what did Neil do with himself? Did he cut his wrists or..". Pari asked panicked ,though she doesn't want to care about the person who ruined her friends life but she couldn't handle the pain that hit her heart hearing news. Avni looked at rohan for an answer.
"Don't freak out listening my answer and don't you dare to judge Neil." Rohan said sternly.
Avni frowns.
"Why'd we?. I've seen wrost suicide scenes in movies " Pari says.
"Tell me rohan, what did he do with himself ?" Avni questioned with moist eyes, she's still unable to digest the thing Neil did with himself. How could he take such a drastic step to kill himself. She thought.
"Neil... He.. is Over dosage of drugs." Rohan shuttered.
"WHAT THE HELL. " Avni screamed not believing her ears. She was stunned.
"What do you mean by drugs? " She shouted with panic.
Rohan stayed silent unable to explain anything. He knew they'd react like this but thats the truth which was hidden to the world by Neil.
"Neil takes drugs? How could he? Such a jerk. " Pari says shocked.
Rohan's blood started to boil.
"Don't judge him Pari, you don't know anything about Neil. Hell, No one knows about him except me and his parents." Rohan said seriously.
"Sorry " Pari mumbled.
"Did his parents knew that Neil takes drugs? " Avni asks bewildered.
"Only I, his parents knew about it and now you both. " Rohan shrugs.
"If it's because of over dosage of drugs then how can you say it is suicide? He might have taken drugs like an addict. It means did he take all this time? From how many years he was taking them? " Avni asks with anger.
"It's complicated to tell you, why Neil started taking drugs but trust me he's not an addict. He left taking them but don't know why he suddenly took them but doctors and others think Neil as a drug addict but I know Neil He injected over dosage of drugs into his system intentionally. " Rohan gritted his teeth .
"I understand but why are you telling us all this? " Avni asks.
"It's because, you should know the truth. " Rohan said sadly.
"What truth? " she mutters.
"There's alot you have to know avni." Rohan looks on.
"I still don't know what you are taking about? " she says confused.
"It's about Neil's past and why did Neil do that with you just for a mere prank. You won't believe me but true, Neil did all that because he's still connected with his horrible past but before that I want you to read something." he says.
"What...? " Avni asked shuttering.
"Neil left me an email before he did that. I've seen late and... This message proves Neil wanted to commit suicide if you still have doubt." Saying this, Rohan took his phone out and opened his inbox and gave it to her.
"Read it " he whispers.
Avni nodded started reading Neil's message.
Dear rohan,
As you've blocked me in every social account ,I thought to send my message via email. And after reading please get mad on me. You know, I want to talk with you rohan , want to share alot of things but, I know I can't and I deserve that type of treatment .
Rohan, It's hurting me yar.. It is hurting So much that even alcohol isn't helping me with that. I've been drinking continuously from past four days to ease the pain in my heart yet... Not happening. whenever I close my eyes Avni's pain filled face is flashing in front of me that Even I'm scared to blink eyes.
The pain I'm feeling is like someone is stabbing me straight in my heart. It's not physical but mental, emotional one which is wrenching my soul. Every second of the minute , I'm dying with immense guilt and regret. I know it's too late for regretting but trust me I've learned my mistake, I'm feeling guilty and I'm ready to take any type of punishment. Even, I can go to jail. But avni.. She isn't doing anything. She is not punishing me and she isn't taking with me. You know, she told me to not to show my face to her and that broke me rohan.
I know, what I'm doing next won't justify my actions. I know I deserve more as punishment for ruining Avni's life but I can't take more rohan. I can't take her hatred, it's killing me from inside. So I've decided to take my life.
I know you'd be mad about this. I know I've promised you that I won't take drugs anymore but sorry I think right now I need it to repair myself. I'm sorry for breaking my promise.
But you know..
I HATE YOU. I F*KING HATE YOU ROHAN. Not because you left me alone.
I HATE YOU, BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LET ME DIE THAT DAY. I HATE YOU BECAUSE, YOU SAVED MY LIFE.
Why did you save me rohan? Why didn't you left me to die that day? If you hadn't saved me, today avni wouldn't have faced all this. If that day I died ,I shouldn't have ruined Avni's life.
I hate you. I hate you for that. I hate you for giving me a life again, I hate you for helping with my tough times. I hate you rohan... I hate you for every damn good thing you did with me.
But don't worry.. This time you won't be here to save me because I know you would never come to my house.
Please take care of my parents, because they deserve a son like you. Unlike me. I'm such a shame on their name. Though they never said this, but I know no one would want their son to be alcohol /drug addict.
Good bye buddy, sorry for everything. If possible forgive me. And tell avni to achieve her dreams and I'm warning you, you have to help her. She's so innocent to live in this cruel society, especially where men like me are present.
Lastly, please for me don't take this note to police or my parents after I take my punishment. I wrote this for you because I wanted to share aleast a few words with you. Please please don't show this to anyone. I'm begging you. I should die as a drug addict not as I've committed suicide or else avni would face problems.
Bye, buddy love you muaaaah...
Neil :) .
Tears rolled down her eyes as soon as she read Neil's last note. She was stunned, she could feel Neil's pain and sorrow in the every word he wrote.
Avni's heart sank , she could feel how much Neil was regretting but she also knew it didn't justify his deeds.
"I hope, now you believe me. " Rohan whispered.
Avni wiped her tears and composed herself.
"When did he send this?" she asked whimpering.
"An hour before he .. But I didn't see it. When I read this, Neil was already in hospital. His mom saved him or else" rohan trailed off.
"What did he mean by saying , you saved his life? " Avni asked panicked.
Rohan chuckled.
"Oh that ,he was about to die but I saved him. You know it's Deja Vu for me. Because this is exactly what happened before too. I mean, that Time it was unintentional but now it's intentional to die. "
Avni gasped.
"I want to know about Neil's past. " Avni said sternly.
"Tell me everything Rohan."
Well, according to me feeling guilt is the worst punishment one could ever get. Because, guilt will make a person living corpse and it will haunt until death. What do you think about it?
Next update would be island of love 😉.
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