So avni has been kidnapped and brought home neil. Avni is overwhelmed to see everyone, after all the hugging and tears and grahpravesh rasam they enter inside. It was already late evening and dinner time so they all sit down and have dinner. Throughout dinner he had kept on gazing at her...as if to remind himself that this was real! That he had succeeded in finally getting his wifey back home. He had been observing her every reaction...he could see that she was overwhelmed that she finally had her family back. She was back HOME. That thank you she had uttered to him after breaking down at the sight of her family was so heartfelt! But he knew they had so much more they needed to say to each other. But now that she was home he was hopeful that they can talk it out...there was no hurry. Avni looked tired because she was still not fully well and neel too was feeling tried. All the adrenaline rush that kicked in had now extinguished and he was sore from all the action in the past few days and utterly exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to just hold avni and collapse on his bed. Finally today was the day that they could both just sleep peacefully in their room on their bed, together with each other. And their family members too had noticed that both their kids were exhausted in every way- physically , mentally, emotionally. So bebe spoke up- finally aaj sab thik hua hai. Humaare dono bacche sahi salamat ghar pe hai. Tum donon ko aaram ki sakht zarurat hai so I think lets all retire to bed early today. Ali, neela tum donon bhi aaj yahi pe rukh jao please. Main chahti hoon hum sab kal subah ek saath fresh ho ke uthe aaur humara new year celebrate kare!

Everyone agreed. Neel and avni made their way upstairs to the bedroom. Neel walked in and started looking in his cupboard for his nightwear. Suddenly he looked up and realised that avni was still at the threshold- just taking in the room. He walked up to her and she looked back at him with teary eyes once again...he cupped her face and wiped her tears. And pulled her into the room and shut the door behind him, latching it. Avni was still in a daze.

Neel- tum thik ho?

No reply from avni

Neel- held her tighter and asked her again- AVNI- kya hua, tum thik ho?

Avni snapped out of her daze a little and shook her head briefly- and then suddenly launched herself onto him hugging him real tight.

Neel- avni kya hua?

Avni- shh. That's all she said. She just held onto him really tight and neel reciprocated as well. He had held her with one arm around her shoulders and one arm around her waist.

Suddenly he felt her moving the fingers of the hands around his waist, she pulled back a little and said softly- please chimti kaatoge?

Neel- kya?

Avni- pinch karo please!

Neel- confused- kya bol rahi ho?

Avni- now slightly irritated- maine kaha pinch karo mujhe!

Neel- just gave in and gave her a light pinch on her waist

avni flinched lightly and then gave a sigh and went back to hugging him as tight as she could.

Neel- mildly amused- ye kya tha wifey?

Avni- check kar rahi thi bas.

Neel- kya?

Avni- ki sapna toh nahi hai

Neel- just smiled and pulled her closer, pecking her forehead and cheek and then whispered in her ear- sapna nahi hai wifey. U r finally home. And he started to move back a little.

Avni- didn't allow him though. She just held onto him tighter and resisted him moving away and whispered- please neel- 1 aur minute aise hi raho na.

Neel- ofcourse wifey. And pecked her on the forehead once again.

Avni- after a good 3 minutes-released her hold on him and said ok lets change

Neel- just smiled back at her and went in to the bathroom to change. Meanwhile avni just sat on the bed and looked around taking everything in.

When neel walked out, he looked at avni who was back in a daze and tears

Neel kneeled down in front of her and held her hands and said- Bas wifey bas- abhi sab thik hoga. Youre back home, you are back to me. And he wiped her tears and gave her another hug.

Then he drew back, tucked her hair behind her ears and gave her a peck on her forehead.

Chalo ab dress change karlo.

Avni gave him a smile and went to change.

When she came to lie down on the bed neel pulled the comforter over them and in a swift move he pulled her closer enveloping her in his arms spooning her and turned off the lights. He pecked her on her head and whispered to Avni- goodnight wifey! Avni however started squirming making neel loosen his hold on her. But before he could worry about if she was uncomfortable with being too intimate and cosy with him she had turned back towards him, moved closer placing her head over his chest, ear against him and then pulled his arm back over her and then said goodnight and promptly shut her eyes snuggling into him. Neel just smiled fondly at her before he surrendered to a peaceful sleep after many months of insomnia.

When avni awoke the next morning at 5am it was still dark outside and her husband was fast asleep. Avni had been living in jail for the past 8 months so she was now attuned to waking up at the crack of dawn to do the daily chores in jail. So her body clock had awoken her today as well. As she rubbed her eyes she looked at her husband and just kept staring. HE looked like a child. His arms were still around her though the grip was a little lax and their legs were entangled as well. Avni blushed at the proximity and drew comfort from the warmth his body heat provided her and snuggled close to him hearing his soft heartbeat against her ear. She had never felt more peaceful or content ever before. She felt loved and cherished, protected in his embrace and she couldn't thank god and her neela ma enough for the twist of fate that landed neel in her life and as her husband. She looked at the wounds on his arms and the face and felt a twinge of guilt as she saw how much he had endured to get her out of jail. She was sure there were more marks on his body as well but she didn't know if she could bear to see them. But She resolved to however make sure that she examined all his wounds carefully once he was awake and make sure that it was nothing too serious. She had a lot she wanted to say to neel. A lot to apologise for. She had spent a lot of time thinking over the past few days especially when she was put in solitary confinement and also when she was trapped behind the wall. She realised that although she had reason to be hurt, angry and upset at neels actions she knew that somewhere she was responsible for it all. She had a lot of mixed emotions. On the one hand she felt betrayed that neel wouldn't tell her about vidyuts proposal because it was completely outrageous. Why did neel think that she should go to JAIL but then she herself realised that neel was obviously worried that she would do something rash and impulsive if she knew the truth and he only did it to protect her. While one part of her was still upset about the fact that he didn't tell her for 8 whole months until she herself started putting pieces together, another part of her was angry because he had taken risks for her by becoming Neo. She had almost lost him that day when vidyut's men had buried him alive. Her core shook as she thought about how close she had been to losing him that day. But then she herself argued that all this had happened because of her past actions. She had lashed out at neel in jail about how he had made decisions for her and done whatever he pleased without trusting her but she realised with a guilty pang that she had never lived upto her promises, never given him a reason to trust her. She had always broken her promises to him in her impulsiveness and zid only to realise later that she was not capable of handling it on her own. Despite that neel had always found her and always managed to save the day and handle the situation. He was the only one whos presence would calm her down and keep her rational. Not even neela ma, ali or some of her other friends who she was close to could accomplish what neel did. He had only been in her life for less than 2 years but he could read her like a book now. He knew her on somedays even better than the people she had known all her life like neela ma or ali. She thought back to all the instances in the past where neel had asked her to trust him, or given her direct instructions to NOT do something and how she had disobeyed him each time. Right from the very first meeting till date she could recall way too many instances. In the initial days it was just the fact that she didn't know him long enough to trust him. Although she always knew that he was a good guy, different she couldn't drop her guard down and be fully honest with him. After the wedding drama and the DVM fiasco they obviously had a bond and trust as well but they both had their share of baggage and insecurities. Neel had to deal with chuhis comeback and mishti who they thought was his daughter and avni had to deal with the ex GF and the child and the constant parallels between their life and what both her mothers went through. When finally the truth was out that chuhi had played them and lied to them she had thought that things would fall into place but she never expected the cruel twist of fate that vidyut had masterminded to trap her. Over the past several months she had replayed that fateful day over and over and the one thing she realised was that if only she had been a little less reckless in the past, if only she hadn't pointed a gun at chuhi to convince her to surrender things would have been different. Her past track record together with that one reckless decision to point a gun at chuhi had spelled doom for her and Neil. She honestly didn't know if there was any other way to stop chuhi at that point and she knew that she would never actually shoot chuhi while mishti was in her arms. She was not foolish but vidyut was an evil mastermind. And the law needed proof. And her past track record was against her getting any benefit of doubt. Everything had gone against her. And the only person whose opinion she cared about was forced to swallow his emotions, harden himself and choose the option of sending her to jail. She still couldn't understand why he had pulled her mangalsutra off and rubbed her sindoor off. Those two gestures had brought her world to a standstill. Even if she knew he may have done it to convince people that he was looking at the whole situation as a honest police officer and cut off all personal ties with the accused which allowed him to still be associated with the case atleast. She was still upset with him for those gestures, for stripping her off the things that marked her as his wife. Those two things gave her a sense of belonging- which she had craved all her life. But she had committed so many wrongs that she cant hold it against him. She was starting to tear up and she controlled herself with great difficulty because she didn't want to wake neel up. She looked back up at him and thought about how she was going to communicate all her mixed emotions to him and mainly how to apologise to him. She didn't know if she could face him, look into his eyes and say everything she had to say without breaking down. So she decided she would write a letter. She slowly moved away from him, carefully disentangled herself from his embrace and pulled the comforter back over him. It was still only 515am. She quickly freshened up and decided to go to the terrace for a quick workout which thanks to jail had become a regular part of her lifestyle now .Also because she wanted to spend her first morning outside jail breathing in the fresh air. She did a quick warmup and practiced her taichi moves. She finished off with some suryanamaskar and stretching again. The sun was now up and it was 630. She headed back downstairs to see that the house was shrouded in silence. No one was up yet. She decided to use the quiet time to pen her thoughts for her neel. She wanted to get it out of her system soon. She was drowning in guilt over how her actions had resulted in this. She needed to both apologise and thank him.

So she sat there with a pen and paper. Even writing her thoughts down was proving to be a difficult task but she knew she had to do this because being able to talk without breaking down was never gonna happen and she felt it was important to articulate her thoughts as clearly as possible without any interruptions.

It was now 7am. She took the lette she had written with her and headed back into her room. As she walked in she saw neel flinching due to the sunlight on his face. She instinctively moved so as to block the sunrays and saw him relax once again. Then she noticed his hands moving as if searching for something and suddenly he was up with a start. Avni was quite startled by his sudden move. Neel restlessly looked up and then heaved an audible sigh of relief looking at avni in front of him. He quickly pulled her onto the bed in front of him and asked- avni are you ok?

Avni- just smiled back in response and said- yes PERFECT.

Neel smiled back. Then he slowly rubbed his eyes and got his bearings. He realised that his wifey was in gym attire and a little sweaty. She had obviously been up for a while.

Neel tumne exercise kar bhi liya? Kitne baje uthi tum?

Avni- smiled at her husbands supercop mode- subah hote hi investigation shuru mr khanna?!- she laughed.

Neel looked at the clock and realised it was only 7 am. In the initial days of their marriage avni was not really an early riser. Even neela ma used to tease her for not being a morning person and skipping her exercise due to laziness. Then it occurred to him with a pang that avni had probably had to wake up early in jail for the last 8 months so now she was used to it. He looked back at her guiltily and started to say...avni

But she cut him off and said... I know tumhe baat karni hai. Mujhe bhi. But tum pahle fresh ho jao. Aaj vaise bhi Sunday hai. Hum aaram se baat karenge ok.

Neel- looked at her in awe first- and then felt guilty again- his avni was the person who was so impatient that she poured a jug full of water on him to wake him up and talk to him and now she had become so mature and mellow. It gave him a strange feeling- both happy and sad. But he decided to address it all after freshening up like his wifey had suggested.

By the time he was back he noticed that avni had brought up two cups of coffee with her. He looked at her in shock as she forwarded a mug to him. Then he felt guilt again. HE wanted to be the one to pamper his wife after everything that she had to endure in jail that too despite being begunah. That would be his bharpai for all that his dear wifey had to go through. His one decision, his mistakes had led to his wife being wrongly accused and sent to jail, that too for the second time in her life...neil would never forgive himself. HE was off to a terrible start already...although he loved that avni had made him coffee he wanted it to be the other way around.

Avni looked at his momentary silence and said neel coffee?

Neel- snapped out of his thoughts and grabbed the mug from her with a quiet thanks and then made his way to the couch. Avni joined him as well and as they began to sip on their coffee they both felt a sense of calm and tranquillity. As they sat sipping their coffees in companionable silence both avni and neel were in deep thought. Avni was fiddling with her letter in her pocket and neel was wondering about all his pampering plans and also his apology...he had vowed that once avni was back he would apologise to her for being so harsh, for all that she had been put through.

Just before he wanted to start talking, avni said-Before you say anything I have something I want to say. And then keeping the mug aside she hands him the letter nervously from her pocket. And then quickly adds...I know tum prefer karoge that we talk but please ek baar padh lo.

Neel- keeps his mug aside and takes the letter from her and as he reads it, he cant stop the tears flowing out of his eyes...

Dear Neel,

There are so many things I want to say but I don't know where to begin. I am feeling many things at the moment but the predominant one is guilt. I know that you will never blame me but you should.

I have so many things to apologise for. I'm SO sorry neil. Remember that day in jail I lashed out at you that too infront of everyone. You took all my allegations so gracefully even though they were all false and completely unfair to you. I told you that day that you had always made decisions and done things as per your whims and fancies...when infact it is me who is actually the one who has done that. Even our marriage was something forced upon you by me for my own revenge motive. All you have ever given me is selfless ad unconditional love and understanding. Right from the time we met until now you have been there to protect me from the world and mainly from myself. I was upset that you did not trust me but when I have ever been worthy of that trust. Every promise I made to you I have broken. Everything you warned me not to do I have found reasons to do anyway! To be fair I didn't do them because I wanted to disobey you or because I don't respect/value your opinion.. I just did them impulsively because I thought the situation demanded it and I guess also because somewhere in my subconscience I knew that you would always have my back and show up to help and support me. Coz you really are a superman! My superman...you have always protected me. But my impulsiveness and recklessness has cost us a lot. I am definitely upset with you for not telling me the truth about everything sooner and for leaving it to me to figure things out but I know now that its unfair to blame you when I'm the one responsible for the mess. If I wasn't such a reckless person you would have probably told me the truth but I've got myself and my own past actions to blame that my husband could not tell me the truth. I wont lie...it hurt immensely to think that you thought I was a murderer. That you didn't believe me. All I wanted was for you to say that you trusted me. I would have gone to jail happily if I had to then... I knew the evidence was against me. I knew you were in a tough spot but the feeling that you didn't believe me was earth shattering. But that is also all in my head...I should have been able to read your heart, your eyes... I didn't do that and I feel SO guilty neel. I know that all this mess, the heartache, the separation, the stress that has happened is all because of me. I am a ZIDDI,CARELESS, BEWAKUF and SELFISH person...But I feel incredibly lucky that despite all my flaws you are still there for me. That you endured SO MUCH angst but you've given me back OUR FAMILY. It means the world to me! I feel a sense of belonging with you that I know I don't deserve after all my mistakes and I promise---actually no strike that out----I will really try my level best to be worthy of all your unconditional and selfless love and support. I wont use the word promise lightly ever again because I will never break another promise made to you. Everyday with you I will strive to become worthy of your love. Thank you so much for forgiving all my mistakes and giving me a family. Even in my misguided anger and resentment towards you in the past I always loved you. I hope you know that. I know I do a horrible job of showing it but I really do love you neel and I always will- now and forever! That I can definitely promise.

I really want to say all this while I look into your eyes but I'm too weak. I know I will breakdown or get too lost in you and not complete what I want to say. But I cant keep it inside any longer. I need you to know what I'm feeling and I hope you don't hold it against me for not saying all this aloud to you.

Love always and forever

Avni

as he reaches the end of the letter neel looks up at avni who has also teared up and pulls her into a bear hug. Both of them are in tears. Avni was mumbling sorry to him but neil just shushed her and held her as tight as humanly possible.