Golden robes adorning
Youthful body,
Vermilion marks
Kissing lonesome mind,
SuiHai 's blade
Cutting through air's melody
In my grip,
And heart
Remembering a soul
Dear to mine.

My story , to many a seems
Lonesome, cowardly and
Full of untimely tragedy.
But to me,
It has always been a tale of
Unwanted shadows, and lights
Singing nothingness to me.

Flowers have greeted me,
On each of my path,
Lovers had torn their hearts out,
For each of my glance.
Ever since I was born,
I have been the one,
Dedicated to a throne,
Full of vicious thorns.

I have been known
As the son of a man,
Whose darkest feat,
Had rendered all misfortunes
On each of ours fate.

I hadn't ever known,
There were brothers named
As my siblings.
And when my wish to
Have siblings,
With whom I should have
Shared my laughter,
Fulfilled itself,
Like a lie
All turned to dust.

My wishes,my fortunes,
All burnt in flames,
Of my own blood.

And there was nothing,
Still remain, that I could have named
As sweet, gracious virtues.

All I have ever gained,
Was names of arrogance,
And lies full of warnings.

Only if they could have seen
Behind the veils of
What they called arrogance,
They would have surely found,
A soul begging to gain
Confidence, a name on his own.

I was always hidden behind
My father's own name,
And wished I had
Some control on
What I could have been.

Then again, there still
Remain a thing,
I shall always and forever,
Be grateful to my mother for,
Even though my actions
Deemed it not so.

And it was meeting you,
My purple lotus,
My world's greatest virtue,
My dear A-Li.

How to tell you all,
I have loved her,
Even before meeting her,
How to tell you all,
My life's arrogance was
All a lie,
But heart's fleeting glance,
At the beauty called Yanli,
Was the only truth.

How to tell you all,
I ,who was a boy
Full of fear, and scared tears,
Was not indispensable
In face of all your critics.

I wanted then to tell you all
I was proud to call Yanli mine,
But fear had made my SuiHua stutter.

Even when all of you,
Had deemed me useless,
Pitiful,
I had wished, in Yanli's eyes
I hadn't been regarded so.

And now, she and you all may know
That I had been afraid,
But my love was true
Only to her.

How to tell
All peonies and lotuses,
That finally I, Jin ZiXuan
Had found, a soul to
Call my own.

How to confess to all
How blessed I had been
To have little A-Ling
Playing in Yanli's arms.

How blessed I had been
To feel, love and live this
World's beautiful treasures
With you my A-Li.

Only wishes though had been
Left unfulfilled in my heart,
To see the shadows haunting your eyes
Leave you once
As you see your brothers again,
And to see our A-Ling grow up
In our arms.

The sword, that pierced didn't
Reach my soul,
For even then
I knew I will see you again.

Just I wished,
I had told you sooner
How a bashful peony,
Loved a purple lotus
A long long time ago.......

Even before fate had turned it's wheels
On us......

Thanks you for taking time to read the poem. Happy Wattpad journey. Stay safe. ( ◜‿◝ )♡(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤