[Birdbrain]
Okay I got your dumb intel

[Witch]
And?

[Birdbrain]
Well...I think its fair to say that I'm a bit disturbed from what I saw and heard

[Witch]
What were they doing?! SPIT IT OOOUT!

[Birdbrain]
Well from what I witnessed it seemed to me that Tony was trying, hence the word trying, to give Steve a lesson on how to understand women...

[Witch]
Bwaha! No one can understand a woman! What a hopeless effort!

[Birdbrain]
Yeah...tony gave some gah awful advice

For instance...girls like it when you slap their ass...

They also like it when you play hard to get and treat them like a fool in public

They love it when you boss them around and call them woman

Oh and here's another, when a girl says she hates you when youre pestering her it really means kiss me

Oh and here's a good one, be sappy and write a lot of cheesy shit and speak every thought and feeling... oh and sing songs you wrote about her

I think Tony believes the first couple but the last one I think was honestly just to make Steve look like an absolute fool

[Witch]
... wow

That's awful, if Steve does that last one I will puke in embarrassment, the embarrassment he should be feeling

Did he actually believe this!?

[Bridbrain]
100%

And it got even worse...they had a practice date

It was horrifying

[Witch]
Details!!!

[Birdbrain]
Okay...read at your own risk

Tony set up a candle light dinner and tried to get Natasha to play the girl part but she wasn't found so ("brilliant idea") he decided to play the part

[Witch]
Omg!!! Nooooooo! He didn't dress for the part did he?!

[Birdbrain]
Sadly...yes *crying*

It was Peppers old cocktail dress...at least a whole 5in above the knee!!! *shudder*

[Witch]
Eww the one with the plunging top?!

[Birdbrain]
...yes

It was so low it fully exposed his reactor

Anyway he insisted on wearing it to make it more realistic so yeah...

Anyway a mini candle light dinner was set up and they drank a LOT of wine. First it was funny because they were trying so hard not to laugh as Tony tried to make his voice higher and act more girly and it was just awful and they both knew it so they gave up and just drank and laughed together. Tony got really drunk though and Steve was just drunk from laughter since he can't be drunk from alcohol...

...yeah Tony got real crazy...

[Witch]
WHAT. HAPPENED.

[Birdbrain]
Ugh he jumped on the table and started to um...dance? He got confused and thought he was a girl, he accidentally got into Thor's big boy juice you know that unspeakable beer from Asgard

[Witch]
Please tell me he wasn't wearing that dress still

[Birdbrain]
He said he struggled to much getting it on and was too lazy to struggle getting it off

So um... yes he was wearing the dress, and the pumps, and the wig...

*prays* erase today's memories please...HAVR MERCY!!!

[witch]
Well...that was...um disturbing

Actually no words can describe what you've seen

I'm so sorry buddy

[Birdbrain]
*whimpers*

...At least the dance only lasted 24 seconds

The heel broke and he slipped, hit his head on the bar and passed out

*whimpers* my eyes will never forgive you for what you made me see!!! *dramatically runs out room crying*