IMPORTANT INFO ABOUT STORY BELOW, PLS READ

Lol I'm sure ppl are like where tf is Mrs. Stark? And I'm like. "Lel Tony never went into the nice part of the house, he loved his mum. But she thinks he's at MIT. Not a highschool. He graduated after the Lee shit and went to MIT. He calls her once and a while, but Howard threatened him with more abusive shit if he ever met with her face to face.

Sobbing.

I couldn't stop myself. Even though I just had the best day of my life, I was crying like a child at memories of the past.

Squeak.

Steve moved on the bed, "Babe, what's wrong?"

"I-It's just, I was thinking a-about Ho-Howard." It was all I could choke out.

I could almost feel Steve's surprise. I explicitly told him not to ask about that man. It was our forbidden subject. And I think I was ready to tell him why.

I began to recount what happened until I reached the part about Lee and I at the hospital. But past that, I was faltering.

I could almost feel the sizzling rage within Steve at Howard, if he was Bruce, he definitely would've turned green.

"Ouch!"

Steve's fingernails were digging into my hands, he snapped out of his anger and felt instant guilt. "Oh no, did I hurt you?"

I assured him that I was okay while thinking. "Should I tell him what happens next? What if he hates me for it?"

I decided. I trust Steve, he needs to know about who I am and what I've done.

And so I began recounting the events after that incident.

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"So....... After that, they brought me to court, I tried testifying against Howard, but it was no good. His lawyers were top-notch, he bribed the judges. He didn't want his reputation As a respectable member of society to be ruined."

I could feel the waves of anger radiating off of Steve, but he nodded, urging me to continue.

"People tried to help me. But those who tried failed and went missing. They all looked like accidents, a car crash, suicide, gas leaks. But I knew the truth. It was Howard."

Steve looked like he was holding back a question, his brows were furrowed cutely but his eyes looked to be ablaze.

"So he murdered innocent people!" He burst out.

I nodded in confirmation.

He looked so confused, it warmed my heart at his some-what innocence. It reminded me of our "son" Peter.

"That's so horrible...." Mutters. "But just for trying to help you? I-I just can't."

"Babe, if you don't want to hear this. I can stop."

He laughed dryly "You're asking me if I want to stop? I should be the one asking you."

I sucked in a breath,. I guess that I'll continue then."

"I'll try not to interrupt you now, 'kay?"

"So after that court business, of course Howard won. But he let me go to Uni, he just threatened me. Things like "Oh, if you tarnish my name. You'll never feel the warmth of our sun again."

"So, for the first year at MIT, I kept my head down. I had a false name, I was Antonio Plevritis. Smart kid, never talked. I tried to dim down my looks, things like that."

"Plevritis? I understand Antonio, but where did that come from?"He asked.

"Well, it was a family friends name. Howard and this guy were tight, and I used to call him Uncle Joe. So the name isn't very wrong."

"Okay, please continue."

"So I was like this for one whole year. Then Jesus came." ( A/N lmao )

"I thought you were an atheist Tones?"

I chuckled. "Not that Jesus. I meant Bucky. With those luscious locks he looks like Jesus, that's all."

"Anyway, Bucky killed my parents. I was so thankful, but at the same time, he took my mother. My amazing sweet mother who was one of the very few people to love me. I just wish I knew if she'd accept me now, with my sexuality."

I don't know when the tears ran down my face. But they did. Steve wiped them away and hugged me. And of course, I hugged back.

"I inherited the Stark Industries wealth, and boy. I felt free. I suddenly became the life of the party, I-I lost my...."

I looked over at my lover.

"I lost my virginity to a girl at one of those when I was drunk."

Steve comforted me. "It's okay Tones. Everybody makes mistakes. Especially when they're drunk."

"And after that." I gulped. "I didn't stop. I must've had sex at least twice at every party, but for some reason. It was never with boys."

"I tried to convince myself I didn't like boys. The sex helped. I gave money away, I played around with girls hearts, I joined a frat house to party all day. But it was just a waste of life."

"But then my best friend came. James Rhodes. He didn't go to MIT, but he went to a neighboring college. UMAM, or Utica Military Academy for Men. When I met him, he started pushing me. Pushing me to not waste my life, to find purpose. "Do your homework!" " Don't bring girls home!" We started living together in an apartment. Me paying of course..."

"After I graduated, Rhodey joined the military. Once and a while, he'd visit and we'd have fun. Drink a little. I showed him a few of the machines I was working on. He urged me to support our military. To give them weapons. That's why the Afghanistan thing happened. Why I decided to make weapons, like Howard.

"I wish I could say that back then I wouldn't have wanted you to make weapons to support our men, too. Tony......" Steve sounded regretful. But it wasn't his fault.

"Shhh, it's okay Steve! You're a military man. Of course you'd have wanted men to be supported when they're risking their lives. It's natural." I tried soothing him, but he didn't look convinced.

"Ok, where was I? Oh yes, and you know all that other stuff that happened. I was an alcoholic. People betrayed me. I was dying. "But it was all fine! I was everything Howard said I wouldn't be. I hadn't been. I was smart, successful, handsome, and best of all. I wasn't a queer person anymore. Or that's what I thought."

"It was when I met you, Stevie. I was so furious. I hated you. You were everything that Howard wanted me to be from the beginning. But I didn't know that you were practically the same as me once."

Steve snorted. "Scrawny, weak, disappointment, idiot, and gay? Yes. I was indeed all of those. Once upon a time."

"I also couldn't stand you for another reason. I started appreciating you, your cute reluctance to swear, those ass cheeks." Steve blushed at this. "And your wonderful, sweet, caring personality. But I hated myself for liking you."

Steve frowned.

"I had spent the past, how many years telling myself I wasn't gay, that I was the person Howard wanted me to be. That I was finally perfect. Then you walked in, stole my heart. And I wanted it back."

"That's why I fought ypu, why I pushed you away during the "Civil War."

Steve tilted his head like a puppy. "So why did you come back? Why did you choose to pick up that phone, and call me?"

"Because of our son, Peter. He noticed I was being depressed. Not my usual self. And eventually I spilled. I told him about Howard. And this-this kid, this fifteen-year-old, he told me to talk to you. To not let you slip away. He knew my feelings better than I did. Especially since he was with Wade."

"Thank God for Peter." Said Steve.

"Yes. But I thank God for you too, Steve. For all you've done for me. For loving me."

"Thank you."

ARIGATO

OOF how'd y'all like that? this is completely unedited so like, it's shit. I don't really give a fuck tho, so whateves.