Wades 17 chill the fuck out mkay?

Wade was shaking.

He was going to the tower, The Avengers Tower to ask The Tony Stark, genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist if he could date his son.

Who wouldn't be nervous?

He hadn't asked Peter if he'd date him yet, but he wanted Mr. Stark's approval first, like the good boy he is.

After all, his baby boy deserves the best.

Wade was almost visibly shaking, and he was prett sure Pete could tell, but he didn't mention it.

The thing is, Pete hadn't taught Wade how to speak Inebriated Tony.  And Inebriated Tony spoke a whole different language. Which, was quite a problem. As it would turn out in the future.

Wade and Tony went up to Tony's office, Wade told himself he could do it.

Yellow ()

White {}

{You can totally do it, failure. Don't fuck up infront of Peter's dad.}

(Yes. Peter is our baby boy and if we can't have him because you screwed up you're dead.)

(Time skip brought to you by the little R2-D2 guy who hopefully won't get you lost coz he running from that dickwad C3PO)

"Okay, you can do this. Ask him if you can date Peter. It's that simple. It's that simple."

Of course he chickened out.

{You're so fucking useless.}

(Yeah White, why do we even keep him around for at this point?)

"Stfu you guys I'm trying to build courage!"

Minutes went by.

Wade never did ask him.

At the dinner table. He could feel himself sweating. And the thing about him, was that he couldn't eat when he was nervous. And Pepper piled more food in his plate than an average Italian woman!

He then asked to be excused, went to the bathroom, washed his face and gave himself a pep talk. (White and Yellow not doing anything to help, of course.)

He went back with a little bit more confidence.

"U-uh, Mr. Stark, may I be talk with you?" He asked, jittery.

Tony started talking in the language of drunk Tony, a language that everyone else at the table seemed to understand, but him.

It was fast, it was weird. But it went something like his.

"OOOOO I wonder if- nope, not gunna happen. Whendothealienscomedownpleasehelpmeimscared! Oh, Wade's here? I hope he's come to ask if he can be- do butterflies feel people in their stomach's when they're in love? Sureyouandwecan talk. Talk."

"Tony!" Pepper berated him. "Stop drinking an speak with Wade!"

Tony replied lazily. "I'm not as think as you drunk I am."

"You're gonna fall down when the sun comes up, and I won't help you if you start doing the shit like last time! Did you know that Tony Stark wore a cane and a party hat, thought he was the king of a hologram, rode around the city in a shopping cart, and lost a bet to a guy in a chiffon skirt and had to wear highheels when he was drunk?!!?"

Then she looked Peter and Wade dead in the eyes. "Never drink." She said, almost threateningly.

"Anyway, Tony says you can speak if you want to now."

"O-oh, Mr. Stark, I kinda meant privately. As in in your office." He swallowed loudly. Pepper just smirked.

"!Sí!" Shouted Tony, tryna be extra and shit.

They went into the elevator. Wade practically carrying Tony.

When they were in the office, Wade could feel his hands shaking, his face whitening to a deathly color, and his heart beat elevated.

He then had a brilliant idea, it'd be easier to get his feelings out like that, right?

He began to speak to Tony Stark. The man who could rip the love of his life, Peter, from him at any moment. But could help bring both him and Peter joy for (hopefully) the rest of their lives.

"Sr. Stark, ¿puedo tener su permiso para salir con su hijo?" ( Mr. Stark, may I have your permission to date your son?)

Wade found it easier to speak to him this way.

Tony looked slightly surprised. But then happy. " !Que puedes salir con él! Puedo decir que se amaban. Solo estaba esperando que crecieras un par y me preguntes."

(Of course you can date him! I know that you two love each other. I was just waiting for you to grow a pair and ask me.)

Wade didn't even feel offended at that comment. He was so grateful.

"Estoy muy agradecido al Sr. Stark! Prometo tratar bien a tu hijo!"

( I'm so very thankful, Mr. Stark! I promise to treat your son right!)

Wade was practically skipping back to Pepper and Pete to give the good news.

The next day.

"Pep! Why isn't Peter in the house? He's usually here to help me with my hangovers." Tony was confused.

"Oh," Pepper said, "He's with Wade on a date today. They're so happy you approved of them! Thanks for that, Peter looked so happy."

Tony fell silent.

Tony felt a dark aura coming from Pepper. "Do you not remember....... Giving your blessing to Wade?"

Tony just looked terrified and gulped, shaking his head no.

"YOU'RE NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!!!!"

And Tony knew she meant it.