A/N: The idea 'baby avengers picnic' was given to me by Chris, and it kind of escalated. A lot. There will be a Part 2 that should be up later tonight or tomorrow.

It was a bright, sunny, day. A perfect day for a picnic as Steve decided. After repeated tappings on Nick Fury's legs and one or two harder ones from Bucky, the toddlers babysitter agreed.

Nick Fury sat on the crisp dry grass and closed his eyes. Desperately trying to make the kids disappear.

"It won' work, Fuurry." A light, child's voice said at his side. He reopened his eyes to find Wanda sat crosslegged next to him. He had forgotton he also had the Maximoffs to mind. Groaning internally to himself, he made sure all kids were still reasonably near, and began getting stuff out of the picnic basket. Wanda offered to help, but Fury declined, and told her to make sure Pietro doesn't try anything too silly. Though the younger twin was calm-natured, her brother was mischievous, and, when with Tony especially, a chaos waiting to happen.

"Ok guys! Food!" Nick announced, dragging Tony away from Bruce who was sat on the other side of him.

The lunch went without a major hitch, Tony started a food fight with Pietro and covered Bruce in the process.

"That was my DRAWING!" Bruce shouted at his 'friend'. "RARGH!" Bruce then collapsed on the floor, banging his hands against the ground in a tantrum. Before an accident could happen, Fury packed everything away and drove them back to the new babyproofed play room at SHIELD HQ.

After getting another coffee and tablet to help his headache, Fury went back into the playroom. To be greeted with carnage.

Natasha was swinging on the light, a grin on her face as she glared out the window at people for fun. Bruce had calmed down and was back in the art corner helping Tony draw plans for his new baby iron man suit.

"Ulty please." Fury heard Vision try to persuade and drag Ultron out of his dark corner. Shaking his head, Fury decided to see Wanda, the only one who was vaguely quiet and calm to be around. Apart from the fact she could read your thoughts. And Pietro was currently entertaining her by running laps around the room, and annoying Tony.

Fury sighed. Suddenly a sharp, black dart flashed in front of his face, the bright red sucker sticking to Steve's forehead. Fury glanced to the top of the wardrobe and found Clint perched with his mini bow and arrows.

"Freaking Hawk." Fury muttered turning to find a small shield on his armchair. Carefully picking it up, he placed it on the table. Steve was very protective about his shield.

"Sti!" Fury heard a shout. Everyone's heads turned to face the pair sat on the ground. Well... One was sat on the ground. His dark hair in a mess after playing with his buddy. The other was hanging off Bucky's metal arm trying to sink his teeth into it, and plastic arrow still attached to his forehead. Steve was sweet, and him and Bucky had a great friendship, but the two were ridiculously inseparable.

Vision came over to Fury, a questioning look on his face.

"Aren't you gonna do anyfink, uncy?" Visions small red face looked up at the Director.

"They're just play fighting." Fury assured him. "Again." Vision wandered back over to his failing mission to get Ultron to come and play. The mini-Gods may have had something to do with this.

Thinking of them, Fury glanced round to ensure they hadn't broken out again. He spotted Loki flirting with Natasha, still hanging on the light, before another of Clint's arrows went straight through the copy. Fury had had enough, and sat back down. Hoping no more moustaches would be drawn on his face, and he wouldn't wake up with a laser-shooting eyepatch that Tony had assured him 'it makes you sooo much cooooler, uncy Nick!!'.

His rest was disturbed however, when a foam gold stick that resembled the sceptre hit his head. He threw it back down and watched, smirking, as Thor and Loki continued to battle it out with their foam Mjolnir and foam sceptre. The real ones had been confiscated after a distasterous incident ended with Loki's sceptre in an agents face, dangerously close to their eye, baby/toddler Thor sat holding the hammer bigger than his head above him and screaming war cries, and a law suit.

Currently the fight had managed to draw the attention of everyone. Even Pietro had quit showing off to watch, Ultron was gradually leaning further out of his corner, and Bucky was restraining Steve from separating the Gods. The only one not bothered by the escalating fight was Bruce, who remained drawing atoms in his corner.