Loki:

That is not who they usually send to guard me. She's very beautiful... I mean, for a mortal. Oh, she's glowering at me. This should be fun!

Tony:

I cannot believe Pepper is making me get a replacement. I don't even NEED an assistant, much less all these women just like her. Is that her? Well, that makes for a pleasant change, at least, someone with SASS. She'd be at least interesting if she's that easy to annoy.

Steve:

Ugh I lost count again... Now Bucky's still winning. Oh, she recognizes me... She's pretty too. Wait, isn't she the one who hit that Chitauri with a book in the battle?

Clint:

Like I said, nobody even remembers when he met you. When he sees you around, his thoughts are sort of Y/N! with a warm glow of contentment that maybe the one person in the world he truly trusts is here.

Bruce:

What are they even doing anymore? Oh no, isn't today the manager's first day? Poor girl... Is that her? She's, wow, beautiful, I guess that's not what I was expecting. Incoming! Dodge!

Thor:

I wonder where they keep the horses. This place does not look large enough for them. Oh, I was unaware that maidens normally worked in this kind of trade. They do not sell horses? What are these creatures that she names? I hope they are as similarly easy to ride as a horse.

[A/N: I'm sorry that Thor's are so bad. He's the one Avenger I don't particularly like, so he's probably very OOC.]

Bucky:

I don't need a psychiatrist. I need to get out of here and I need them to leave me alone, before I hurt somebody. They have female doctors now? I didn't know that. I guess if you have female assassins, female doctors are kind of old news. I still don't need one, even if she's that beautiful.

Pietro:

Who is that? Is that Wanda's friend, um, Y/N, yes? I had no idea she had returned from that mission, she's been away for nearly four years. Wanda will be glad. Whoever has to pay to replace those punchbags won't be, Steve breaks enough of them as it is. She is related, is she not? She looks better in real life.

I know, these were terrible, I don't have any inspiration right now. Here have an apologetic penguin: 🐧

I'm in Fraaaaaaaance on holiday and loads of you are back in school already xD
I enjoy other people's pain, don't judge that, because you know you all secretly do too.

See you next chapter, ICTOANFYGs. (First one to work out what that stands for gets an as yet undecided prize.)

- ICTOAUN