Who's Peter Parker? And Why Is He On Twitter?

A/N: an au where no one knows Peter is Spider-Man (because of course) and Peter is competent and hiding his secret identity.

..........

Yeeter @pbp

Y'all ever just like, want to die?

> Bitch @mjaay

Y'all? You're not southern, what's with the y'all?

>> Yeeter @pbp

Oh god, I've been hanging out with Tennessee too much.

>>> Bitch @mjaay

Wait until you actually meet him face to face.

>>>> Yeeter @pbp

Oof



Spider @Webslinger

I found out something interesting today! My dad wasn't my real dad!

> Spider @Webslinger

Wrong account. Doesn't matter anyways, dad's dead. Not my bio dad, but father?

>> Kiss my ass @Superherocult

That must've been a shock.

>>> Spider @Webslinger

It was. Because my real dad is still alive and like, my hero? You know. So, I will not be able to ever look him in the eye, ever.

>>>> Bleached eyes @Teasis

Oof, why?

>>>>> Spider @Webslinger

My pure innocent eyes laid witness to what I should have never laid witness to.

(Load 50k replies)

Spider @Webslinger

I almost called my dad "dad". Dodged a bullet there. I do not need anyone knowing my identity. Not even my dad.

> Gitc @Leeds

Oof. Does anyone know your identity?

>> Spider @Webslinger

My pet cat maybe. His name is Banner and i love him.

>>> 7 PHD's @Banner

You named a cat after me?

>>>> Spider @Webslinger

You and Mr. Stark are my scientific heroes. So of course! I have a kitten named after Mr. Stark.

>>>>> 7 PHD's @Banner

You are... so pure...


Yeeter @pbp

Hey, check out my latest project!

[ParkerProsthetics.Org]

[Video of very real looking arm on an amputee. The base seemed to be made to be removable. And it was. Peter demonstrates how it could be switched out easily and explained how it worked.]

> Gitc @Leeds

Duuude, what if @Stark saw this? This is amazing!

>> Yeeter @pbp

I wish.

> Bitch @mjaay

This is impressive Parker. How'd you fund it?

>> Yeeter @pbp

Uh... saving up and scrounging around for parts. I'm just glad it looks so real, synthetic skin would be so much better.

>>> Bitch @mjaay

Keep up the good work.

> Iron Man @Stark

This is fucking brilliant.


Yeeter @pbp

1) Tony freaking Stark retweeted me. 2) I gained a crap ton of followers. 3) anyone know a good funeral home because I'm gonna die from embarrassment!

> Yeeter @pbp

HE FOLLOWED ME!

>> Gitc @Leeds

holy shit!

Yeeter @pbp

Now that Tony Stark follows me, I have delete every thirst tweet I ever had about any avenger. No one can know.

> Potatogun @Keener

Look, everyone knows you want to be crushed by Thor's thighs.

>> Yeeter @pbp

SHHHHHHH

Spider @Webslinger

Flirting is fun and all, but it makes me very uncomfortable for many, many reasons. Reason 1) I'm taken. Reason 2) you guys are twice my age or older. AHHH.

> Marvelstan @steponme

Twice your age. Most of the avengers are barely over 30? Barely 40?

>> Spider @Webslinger

1) the ones I'm talking about are twice my age or over. 2) so?

>>> Marvelstan @steponme

How old are you?

>>>> Spider @Webslinger

Let me put it this way, I can't drink it rent a car, but I can smoke. Though I wouldn't, because gross.

>>>>> Iron man @Stark

Oh my god, you're a child. Oh god. Who was hitting on you?


Yeeter @pbp

I ran into Bruce Banner today and let me tell you, that man is one of the greatest people alive. Hands down.

> 7 PhD's @Banner

I'm very flattered. You seemed like a bright young man. Your prosthetic work is pretty amazing.

>> Yeeter @pbp

I-


Gitc @Leeds

Peter legit just passed out after getting a reply from Bruce Banner and that is a mood.

> Bitch @Mjaay

Weak

>> Gitc @Leeds

If it was Pepper Potts, you'd do the same.

>>> Bitch @Mjaay

Because she's Pepper Potts!

>>>> Yeeter @pbp

Pepper Potts is a Queen.

>>>>> Gitc @Leeds

I'm not even surprised anymore.



Stark >>> pbp

Stark: Kid, I've been looking more into your prosthetics project and I saw that all you're really lacking is finding and materials. Would be willing to partner with Starks Industries to develop a line a prosthetics?

pbp: I'd be honored!


Yeeter @pbp

I'm living a fan fic. There's no other explanation for this Y/N plot.

> Gitc @Leeds

What happened now?

>> Yeeter @pbp

I'll tell you soon. Too tired to do anything rn.

>>>Gitc @Leeds. Fair.

Spider @Webslinger

My life is very... ironic and strange .

> Spideystan @Marissa123

Care to elaborate?

>> Spider @Webslinger

No

>>> Spideystan @Marissa123

Valid

Yeeter @pbp

Don't you love it when your boyfriend is a solid 10 and you're a solid 1?

> Gitc @Leeds

Who is your boyfriend btw? And you are not a 1. You are an 11.

>> Yeeter @pbp

I'll tell you later. Not over Twitter.

>>> Gitc @Leeds

Fair


Spider @Webslinger

Whoever slapped my ass, please stop. Like seriously. Please.

> Iron Man @Stark

Someone did what now?



Iron Man @Stark

Whoever is harassing Spider-Man better stop or I will use every power I have to take you down. I do not care who you are. Unwanted touching is called sexual assault. So fuck off.

> Spider @Webslinger

🥺

>> Iron Man @Stark

I may not know who you are kid, but that behavior isn't tolerated. You should feel safe among friends and teammates.


SpideyStan @Melissa123

Tony Stark just defended Spidey because people were harassing him and I've never stanned two men harder.

Yeeter @pbp

I forgot I stayed at my boyfriends place last night and nearly had a fucking panic attack when his sister walked in to wake us up.

> Gitc @Leeds

Oof, sounds awkward

>> Yeeter @pbp

More awkward when his brother-in-law walks in as well. I was mortified. Fully clothed and mortified.

>>> Gitc @Leeds

Ha, only you.

Human Torch @JStorm

Guys, my boyfriend is smart and cute and I'd die for him.

> It's clobbering time @Thething

You have a boyfriend? Someone who doesn't find you annoying.

>> Human Torch @JStorm

:(

StarkIndustries @SI

We're realizing a new line of low cost prosthetics. Our lead designer was the young genius @pbp or Peter Parker. We look forward to working with him again in the future.

> Yeeter @pbp

It was a pleasure working with everyone! Joel to work with you soon!

>> Gitc @Leeds

Dude! That's awesome!

(Load 95k comments )

Spider @Webcrawler

I hate that the default is straight. Why is it? I'm bisexual and have a boyfriend and have friends who fall along the LGBT+ spectrum.

> Spider @Webcrawler

And screw ableism. I've got ADHD and PTSD and no one cares. I've got anxiety and I have panic attacks a lot. But because they're invisible illnesses, people don't believe they exist.

>> Birdguy @Hawkeye

Fuck ableism. Most people don't know I'm deaf and need hearing aids to hear.

>>> Birdguy @Hawkeye

And yeah, why is straight the default? I'm ace.

>>>> Spider @Webcrawler

Because straight cis people decided the rules.

Won't hesitate @trymebitch

Can i just say that I Stan Spidey and Hawkeye? Spidey being Bi and Hawkeye being Ace is the queer rep we needed.

> Won't hesitate @trymebitch

And like they said #fuckableism

>> 7 PhD's @Banner

Rt

>> Iron Man @Stark

Rt

>> Killer @Widow

Rt

>> Sparky @Thor

Rt

>> Snek @Loki

Rt

>> Army guy @Ironpatriot

Rt

>> Cooler bird @Falcon

Rt

>> Human Torch @JStorm

Rt

(Load 160 responses)


Spider @Webcrawler

I have made a mistake.

> Bitch @Mjaay

Interesting, elaborate.

>> Spider @Webcrawler

I left my work on my bio dad in his home. I was studying in his genes and how they affected mine involving my abilities and I LEFT THEM THERE

>>> Potatogun @Keener

Ha, nice.

Iron Man @Stark

I have no words.

> Killer @Widow

Wow, shocking.

>> Iron Man @Stark

I'm contemplating my life choices and word choices right now, this is not the time.

>>> Killer @Widow

Oh shit.

> SI CEO @Potts

Tony, what happened?

> Iron Man @Stark

This is better said in person.

>> SI CEO @Potts

On my way.


Spider @Webcrawler

You know that meme? The "I'm in danger" one? Yeah. Somebody end my suffering.

> Spider @Webcrawler

I'd like to add that I'm not in danger, I just am dealing with a stressful situation and that is the only thing that came to mind.


Iron man @Stark

So... @Webcrawler, is it true?

> Spider @Webcrawler

Yes.

>> IronDad @Stark

Why not tell me?

>>> Spider @Webcrawler

Wow, you were quick with that name change. And as for why? I like keeping my identity a secret. Bows not the time to reveal it to anyone. Sorry Mr. Stark.

>>>> IronDad @Stark

Is it going to be that for the end of days? Mr. Stark? Really?

>>>>> Spider @Webcrawler

Fight me.

SI CEO @Potts

In case you missed the press conference, while Spider-Man is remaining unknown, keeping his identity a secret, he has confirmed that he is Tony Stark's biological son. Multiple tests were run.

> Gitc @Leeds

That's so cool. @pbp did you see this?

>> Yeeter @pbp

So Tony Stark has a son? Oof.

>>> Gitc @Leeds

How smart do you think he is?

>>>> Yeeter @pbp

Probably extremely smart. Smarter than me for sure.

>>>>> 7 PhD's @Banner

You're extremely smart Peter, don't put yourself down.

>>>>>> Gitc @Leeds

I think he fainted again.


Spider @Webcrawler

People keep asking why I kept my bloodline a secret. I just don't want people to know my identity. I have a lot of people i care about and i don't want to put them in danger.

> IronDad @Stark

I respect that... but I do want to know who you are.

>> Spider @Webcrawler

We've met in my civilian form. That's all I'm saying.

Spidermanstan @Stuckyshipper

We Stan a superhero who stands for what he believes in, which is equality. And stand a superhero that want to protect his fans

Spider @Webcrawler

So I've been chilling at the tower more, just in my mask and everything, and Mr. Stark asked about if I've dated anyone and I almost blurted out my boyfriend's name like a fool.

> Spider @Webcrawler

So instead I said "j-just a few guys and girls." So yeah.

>> IronDad @Stark

You have a boyfriend and their name starts with J?

>>> Spider @Webcrawler

Ah, forgot you followed me.

>>>> Spdiermanstan @Stuckyshipper

We Stan a dumbass bisexual.


Superhero Watch @Superheronews

Super hero Johnny Storm, otherwise known as "the human torch" was spotted with intelligent college student Peter Parker. Is this the "alleged" boyfriend?

> Gitc @Leeds

WHAT? @pbp ???

>> Yeeter @pbp

Surprise?

>>> Gitc @Leeds

You're dating a superhero! And a model.

>>>> Yeeter @pbp

Sorry for not telling you, I honestly didn't know how to bring it up.

>>>>> Gitc @Leeds

I get it, I'm just shocked.

> Bitch @Mjaay

@pbp you have game.

> It's clobbering time @Thething

@JStorm how did this happen?

>> Human Torch @JStorm

He doused me with a fire extinguisher.

Yeeter @pbp

For those wondering, @JStorm and I started dating a couple of years ago. We met when he set himself on fire almost too close to my school project and I doused him with a extinguisher. We started dating about two months after that.

> Human Torch @JStorm

Love at first sight.

>> Yeeter @pbp

You're a dork.

Yeeter @pbp

The only reason we hid it was because we weren't sure we'd last and i didn't want media attention. It's a bit late for that now though.

> 7 PhD's @Banner

Are you okay with the attention?

>> Yeeter @pbp

Now I am. I wasn't back then. But I've had the chance to grow and mature, so I'm okay with it now. As long as people leave my friends and loved ones alone.

>>> 7 PhD's @Banner

Well, if you ever need any help, I'm sure Tony would be happy to. Me as well. You seem like a good kid.

>>>> Yeeter @Banner

Thank you Dr. Banner, I really appreciate it. :)

>>>>> 7 PhD's @Banner

You can call me Bruce, Peter.

>>>>>> Yeeter @pbp

Okay! Bruce.


Stark Industries @SI

We teamed up once again with Peter Parker @pbp . This time we developed low cost hearing aids for those in need and will be donating a pair for every pair bought.

> Gitc @Leeds

I didn't realize you were working on hearing aids @pbp

>> Yeeter @pbp

I was developing them for Hawkeye and well, brought the idea to Stark. He helped me develop them properly.

>>> IronDad @Stark

It was really mostly you.

>>>> Yeeter @pbp

It was a team effort Mr. Stark. Super glad to work with you again.

>>>>> IronDad @Stark

You can call me Tony kid.

>>>>>> Yeeter @pbp

Mr. Stark is more comfortable for me to say, sorry.

Spider @Webcrawler

The hardest part about owning pets it sharing them with your asshole friend who actually owns them. (He's not actually an asshole)

[ It's Peter, laying on the floor with two cats in him. One is a large brown Norwegian Forrest cat who was sitting on Peter's chest, and the other was a black kitten sitting on Peter's left leg]

> Yeeter @pbp

You're just upset because Banner and Stark like me more.

>> Spider @Webcrawler

Both the cats and the people.

>>> Yeeter @pbp

Just the cats dumbass. The people obviously like you more.

>>>> Spider @pbp

Don't make me throw hands

>>>>> Yeeter @pbp

Bet

Spider @Webcrawler

No @pbp does not know my identity. No one does. He helps me develop my web shooters and also takes in the cats I randomly find on the street.

> Yeeter @pbp

I bring them to the vet and help them find homes. Banner and Stark were rescues that Spider-Man saved as kittens that imprinted on me. So they stayed with me.

>> Gitc @Leeds

I should've known you knew Spider-Man when he mentioned the cats! 

>>> Yeeter @pbp

I'm not the only one who named them that.

>>>> Gitc @Leeds

Still!


Potatogun @Keener

Yo @pbp I'm coming to New York! We can be chaos bros at last!

> Yeeter @pbp

Awesome!

>> IronDad @Stark

Wait, how do you two know each other?

>>> Potatogun @Keener

Tumblr. Mostly through his thirst page.

>>>> Yeeter @pbp

You had one too!

>>>>> Potatogun @Keener

Well yeah, but your looks don't match the blog.

>>>>>> Yeeter @pbp

Ugh, don't remind me.



I need sleep @Eyeswideopen

I don't know if it's ironic or hilarious that Peter Parker knows everyone. It's comical at this point.

> Kiss my ass @Superherocult

You just need Harry Osborn or something to really seal the deal.

>> Bleached eyes @teasis

But could you imagine? XD

>>> I need sleep @Eyeswideopen

Harry Osborn would be such a chaotic friend. Lol.



Suck my @Osdick

I saw someone mention Peter (@pbp) and got a Twitter to say something.

[ Picture of Peter and Harry arms wrapped around each other with big flags painted on their face while holding up peace signs. They're obviously at a pride parade. Johnny is in the the middle of them , shooting finger guns with a bi flag around his shoulders]

> Suck my Osdick

He's my best friend, along with @Leeds of course.

>> Kiss my ass @Superherocult

HOW DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE @pbp !?!?

>>> Yeeter @pbp

Because... I am baby.

>>>> Kiss my ass @Superherocult

Ahhh, valid, have a nice day.


Spider @Webcrawler

I love my boyfriend a lot, but I know if i told him that I was Spider-Man, he'd talk about it. Because he's proud of every achievement I have.

> IronDad @Stark

I'm sure most people are proud of you kiddo.

>> Spider @Webcrawler

Yeah, but it's different when it's a boyfriend.

>>> IronDad @Stark

How is it different?

>>>> Spider @Webcrawler

My boyfriend showers me with kisses and praise and it's embarrassing. Always bragging about me.

>>>>> IronDad @Stark

The day I figure out your identity is the day your boyfriend gets the shovel talk.


Bitch @Mjaay

Honestly, @Webcrawler I don't even think you have bones. This is freaky.

[video of Spider-Man falling and hitting a pole, body contorting around it. Spider-Man is fine and all, but yeah, it looked like he had no bones]

> Spider @Webcrawler

Spiders don't have bones.

>> Bitch @Mjaay

Not many people can creep me out, but that is genuinely the creepiest thing I've ever heard.

>>> Spider @Webcrawler

Just saying it how it is.


IronDad @Stark

@Webcrawler you do have bones though, right?

> Spider @Webcrawler

Of course! They're just really light. So I'm a pretty light person. They're kinda like cartilage in nature, but tough like bones should be. But still bendy.

>> IronDad @Stark

The imagery made me want to puke, thanks.

>>> Spider @Webcrawler

Could be worse, they could be hollow.

>>>> IronDad @Stark

Kid, I love you an all, but please, stop.

>>>>> Spider @Webcrawler

You love me? Oh god, I'm going to have to call you dad now.


So CEO @Potts

If anyone heard screaming from the Stark tower, it was just tony being startled by his own son.

> IronDad @Stark

He flung himself in from the window. IN CIVILIAN CLOTHES. I don't know how he got here.

>> Spider @Webcrawler

Look, no one said I was smart.

>>> IronDad @Stark

Kid, you're extremely smart, you're just unique.


Spider @Webcrawler

Only Tony Stark knows my identity because I wanted a hug from him. And it was awkward to not call him dad.

> Yeeter @pbp

Didn't you Yeet yourself into the tower? What a mood.

>> Spider @Webcrawler

Look


Human Torch @JStorm

How is he so pretty?

[Peter is shirtless, body littered in pale scars and he has a very toned body. He's holding his cat Banner, who seems content. His hair is a mess and he looks tired, holding a cup of coffee in his free hand]

> Yeeter @pbp

I look on the verge of death, but thank you.

>> Killer @Widow

Do you fight? You have the build of a fighter.

>>> Yeeter @pbp

I like keeping in shape! Johnny and I spar a lot. He can't use his powers when we spar though. Obviously.

>>>> Human Torch @JStorm

You're a good fighter. <3

>>>>> Yeeter @pbp

<3


Spider @Webslinger

I regret telling @Stark my secret identity because he almost ousted me by accident five times in the past hour.

> IronDad @Stark

I understand why you didn't want to tell anyone. But you're so intelligent and kind and I want to brag about you.

>> Spider @Webslinger

You'll be able to soon.


Spider @Webslinger

Facts about me.

1) I'm Italian, partially.

2) I look like my dad

3) I go to MIT

4) I'm 19

Make some guesses

> Bleached eyes @teasis

Oh my god, oh my god.

> 7 PhD's @Banner

It will be interesting to find out who you are

> Killer @Widow

Once you're revealed. We should spar.

>> Spider @Webcrawler

We could spar now. You don't need to know my identity to spar.

>>> Killer @Widow

It would be more fun to know your name.


Webcrawler @Spidey

Is 19 too young to be engaged? I turn 20 soon anyways, but I need to know.

> IronDad @Stark

Well, before knowing your whole story, I would've said yes. But your relationship is very genuine and wonderful. So if you get engaged, I support you.

>> Spider @Webslinger

Everyone else's opinions don't matter, my dad said it's fine. :D

>>> IronDad @Stark

Does this mean that you plan to propose.

>>>> Spider @Webslinger

I don't know for sure yet. But I want to marry him, and have wanted to for quite a long time. If he won't take that jump, I will. We've talked about getting married so it's time to make that jump.


I need sleep @Eyeswideopen

Spider-Man getting married sounds adorable! Imagine Tony Stark walking him down the aisle!

> Kiss my ass @Superherocult

Can't wait to see what he looks like!


Yeeter @pbp

I don't know if i find it funny or ironic that this happened.

[video filmed by Harry, but you can't really tell. Peter and Johnny are with friends at a small gathering, all sitting outside, watching a meteor shower.

"Hey Johnny-"

"Hey Pete-"

They overlapped each other, both chuckling. Peter gestured you Johnny.

"You go first."

"Oh, okay," he started, looking a bit nervous. "So, we've been together for almost five years now, and I'm still in love with you."

"I love you too," Peter said kindly.

Johnny couldn't help but grin. "Lately I've been thinking, I like sharing a bed, waking up with you beside me. And I like the food you make and the way you snore and how you get so inspired you don't sleep for days. I want that everyday instead of some days. No siblings or family or friends barging in, just the two of us." Jonny reached for his pocket, pulling out a small box, "so, I don't want separate nights anymore. I want you, forever, u til death do us part. So will you Marry me Peter Parker?"

Peter looked shocked, before pulling out his own wedding ring that he was going to give to Johnny. They laughed together before putting the ring on, sealing their deal with a kiss. Their friends cheered around them]

> Spider @Webcrawler

Congrats!

> 7 PhD's @Banner

Congratulations Peter! This was a very heartwarming video.

> IronDad @pbp

Saw it coming a mile away. Didn't expect you both to have a ring though.

(Load 100k comments)

Spider @Webcrawler

The day my identity is revealed will be a fun one. 

> IronDad @Stark

And I can brag about you to my hearts content.

>> Spider @Webcrawler

Never mind guys, reveal canceled.

>>> IronDad @Webcrawler

Wait


Spider @Webcrawler

They got to know first ;)

[Peter in the Spider costume went into a room from the window, landing in front of all his friends who were at the avengers tower. All the avengers were there as well.

"I bet you wondered why I gathered you here today."

The group looked at him curiously.

"Where's Peter?" Johnny asked.

Peter ripped off his mask, "I'm right here. Thought you guys should be the first to know."

"Holy sh-"

"You do not know how hard it was to keep it a secret, he's so smart!" Tony exclaimed.

"I'm surprised you kept a secret," Rhodey joked.

Tony frowned at him and Peter laughed a bit.

"It was hard to keep it secret. I decided I should reveal myself since I had a pretty good system set up. Everyone i love will be safe and I don't have to worry about my powers or me being a hero influencing where I work and all that."

"I offered him a job when he got out of college. Before i knew he was my son."

"About that," Bruce interrupted. "How did you not connect the dots earlier? I had assumptions they were the same person, then he said you two were related and he's the only person you know that looks like you."

Everyone looked at Bruce. "You knew?" Peter asked curiously.

"Seven PhD's for a reason."]


Yeeter @pbp

Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man signing out for the night.

.........

A/N: I enjoy these too much

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top