A/N: a useless twitter fic Of Peter feeling mortified.

@pbp = Peter
@Stark = Tony
@Cap = Steve
@Bbarnes = Bucky
@webcrawler = Spider-Man
@widow = Natasha
@Drbanner = Bruce
@badbitch = Mj
@gitc = Ned
@Potts = Pepper
@Snake = Loki
@godofthunder = Thor
@Hawkeye = Clint
@Flash = Flash
@Rhodey = rhodey
@shuriuwu = Shuri
@magichoe = Wanda
@Potatogun = Harley
@falcon = Sam
@Oshoe = Harry

Usernames will change, so the important part to rember is the actual @ 's
...........

S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

So... don't ask me why, but I was reading fan fiction about myself.

> Queen Mj @badbitch

Why did you think that was a good idea ?

>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

I'm not very smart

>>> Queen Mj @badbitch

Obviously

>>>> Yeeter @pbp

I'm sure most people knew that

>>>>> Better Than You @Flash

Shut up Penis, no one asked you

S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Now, I've discovered, people ship me with EVERYONE. All the avengers are shipped with me? Plus Deadpool and Daredevil? Even Johnny Storm???

> Spidey Stan @spidey101

Everyone want a piece of that ass

>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Apparently.

>>> Spidey Stan @spidey101

Agrkwibdbajahk

> You Know Who I Am @Stark

They what?!

>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Oh look, gotta dash

S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

So, I'm fine with fan fic, it's innocent, none of you will never guess what I look like and it's great. I just have ONE critique... I'm 17, so like... shipping me with the Avengers is... gross

> Spider-Man can choke me @Istanbitch

You're what????!!

> You Know Who I Am @Stark

Great, now the Avengers are going to kill me.

>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

But you literally stop me from nearly killing myself???

>>> You Know Who I Am @Stark

Do they care? No.

>>>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Do I need to fight?

>>>>> You Know Who I Am @Stark

No. Just prepare for the avengers being surprised and well... the avengers.

>>>>>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Thanks dad, that's ominous

>>>>>>> Iron Mans babysitter @Rhodey
@webcrawler I think you broke him. He's crying and repeating, "he called me his dad."

> Americas Ass @cap

Oh my god I threw a bus at a 14 year old

>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

I could literally crush your bones with my hand, but go off.

>>> Americas Ass @cap

It's super irresponsible to let a child fight crime!

>>>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

And it's a dick move to nearly kill one of your best friends over some guy that you were close with in the 40's. Besides, I'd probably be dead if he wasn't watching over me.

>>>>> Youre My Only Hope @gitc

Fucking drag him Spidey.

>>>>>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

If only there wasn't a character limit, there's so much I'd bitch about.

> ASSassin @widow

Since you're so young, can I be your spider mom?

>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

You're going to make me cry tears of joy. Yes! Please be spider mom.

>>> Spider Mom @widow

I've reached my peak.

>>>> Hazeleeeee @Hazel101

This.... is... so... pure....?????

> Superior @Snake

We're the same age then in your misgardian years, I'm merely 17.

>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Hell yeah.

>>> Superior @Snake

Shall we gather the other teenagers and have a sleepover?

>>>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Oh my god Loki, I love you (platonically). @pbp @gitc @badbitch @shuriuwu @magichoe @potatogun sleepover????

>>>>> White Wolf @Bbarnes

I'm offended I wasn't invited

>>>>>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

You can come too Bucky! I love you (platonically)

>>>>>>> White Wolf @Bbarnes

Nice. You can suck it @falcon !

>>>>> Queen Mj @badbitch

I'm down.

>>>>> Youre My Only Hope @gitc

Halfhjqoxhakehj YES

>>>>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Dope

>>>>> Yeeter @pbp

I'm always a slut for sleepovers

>>>>>> You Know Who I Am @Stark

What the fuck kid

>>>>> Give me your FUCKN MONEY @shuriuwu

I'm already getting in a jet, you can't stop me.

>>>>> Do do do do do Dora @Potatogun

@stark I wanna hang out with my friends

>>>>>> You Know Who I Am @Stark

Fucking fine

>>>>> Ive got the @magichoe

You can't keep me away from it

>>>>>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

UwU

>>>> Best Avenger @godofthunder

I see your making friend brother!

>>>>> Superior @Snake

Maybe...

> 7phds @Drbanner

Your IQ is higher than Tony and mine combined and you're only 17

>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Ahkzdvegai I love you

>>> 7phds @Drbanner

@Stark , I would die for him

>>>> You Know Who I Am @Stark

He's a good kid.

>>>>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

STAPH

> Deaf boi @Hawkeye

Ah, so not only are you a little suit, you're a young little shit

>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Will you love me if I call you uncle Clint?

>>> Arrow Uncle @Hawkeye

Y E S

> Iron Man's Babysitter @Rhodey

Oh, so then you're THAT kid. Okay, it makes much more sense.

>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

What?

>>> Iron Mans Babysitter @Rhodey

I get that you're a super genius now. I thought you were Tony's actual kid or something

@pbp >>>>>> @rhodey

Peter: I am actually his kid though.

Rhodey: should've known you were more than a smart kid. A superhero though?

Peter: a spider bit me and now I have abs.

Rhodey: ignoring that, How'd tony find out?

Peter: I needed a blood transfusion and after getting stabbed and he was the only match. If only worked well because he was my dad. We thought it was a joke, but ten dna tests later, apparently not.

Rhodey: you do look a lot like him

Peter: Nice

Rhodey: you seem like a good kid, stay that way

Peter: Someone needs to keep dad in check

Rhodey: ...

>>> Cool Uncle @Rhdoey

I would die for you kid

>>>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

W A I T , N O

S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Well, the avengers all know my identity now, that's fun. On the plus side, Natasha and Pepper have become my new moms and Mr. Stark called me his son so like... good day.

> Spidey Stan @spidey101

That's so wholesome????

>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

They're the greatest bunch of people and I love them.

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S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Side note to the fan fiction writers out there, I've been informed I'm a twink, so even though you think I'm some sort of hunk, I am not. I also actually have a boyfriend and it's really weird seeing smut with anyone besides him.

> You Know Who I Am @Stark

It isn't ****** ****** is it?

>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

No, it's ***** ******

>>> You Know Who I Am @Stark

God damn it kid.

>>>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Want to meet him? Obviously not at the compound or Tower but like... do you want to?

>>>>> You Know Who I Am @Stark

Gotta give him the shovel talk

>>>>>> S(B)ider-Man @webcrawler

Wait, dad, no

Yeeter @pbp

Do you ever just like... want to hug someone so badly you feel the urge to break into their house?

> Suck On My @Oshoe

Not if I break into your house first

>> Yeeter @pbp

Babe, please.

>>> Suck On My @Oshoe

I actually do want cuddles though. Your place or mine?"

>>>> Yeeter @pbp

Mine, your house intimidates me. And your dad is terrifying.

>>>>> Suck On My @Oshoe

Valid. Be there in ten, I'm bringing cheeseburgers

>>>>>> Yeeter @pbp

I love you <3

>>>>>>> Suck On My @Oshoe

I love you too you fucking nerd.

Yeeter @pbp

Why did I suddenly gain 20k followers???

> Youre My Only Hope @gitc

Oh, All the Avengers follow you and you're dating Harry Osborne.

>> Yeeter @pbp

The avengers follow me? Holy shaievawifsakmdveaksu

>>> Better Than You @Flash

What? No way the avengers would follow such a nobody like you penis. And dating an Osborn, how fucking pathetic to even pretend you could have that?

>>>> Suck On My @Oshoe

@Stark ,  So, you going to murder him, or???

>>>>> You Know Who I Am

@Potts ?

>>>>>> SI CEO @Potts

Don't actually kill him, but make him pay.

>>>>>>> Queen Mj @Badbitch

You done fucked up @Flash

Suck On My @Oshoe

Well, some people don't think @pbp and I are dating. I'm here to provide evidence we are.

[Peter wearing Harry's jacket, sitting on Harry's windowsill with a book in hand. He's smiling at something Harry must've said]

[Peter and Harry are kissing. It's cute and their noises are smushed together.]

[The pair are cuddled together on Harry's couch, Peter wearing a M.I.T. Sweater that belonged to neither of them.  Their legs are tangled together and they're holding warm cups of hot chocolate, smiling at the person taking the photo.]

> Suck On My @Oshoe

[ a candid photo. The pair was playfully nipping at each other, smiling like the whole world wasn't watching.]

[another candid photo, Harry's legs are hooked around Peter, who's holding them up pretty easily, kissing his boyfriend. Harry's got his fingers tangled in Peter's curls]

[a picture of them in a hot tub, basically in each other's laps. Peter is sitting. In Harry's lap, Harry's arms wrapped around Peter as they make funny faces at the camera]

[ a picture of them dancing. Peter's leading and they're so close to each other, but even from the photo, the pair looked head over heels]

>> Suck On My @Oshoe

[this time it's a video. Peter is in his boxers and a sweater, that's it and Harry is in sweats, the pair chucking pillows at each other.

"Guys, we're supposed to be watching Star Wars" the person filming whined.

"Let then be stupid. They'll talk less during the movie," a voice beside the camera added, distinctly female.

Harry tackled Peter, them falling in the ground in fits of giggles as Harry peppers Peter's face with featherlight kisses.

"Stooop!"

The video cuts abruptly as soon as Peter drags Harry into an actual kiss]

>>> Suck On My @Oshoe

Love you @pbp <333

>>>> Yeeter @pbp

... love you too

S(B)ider-Man @Webcrawler

In light of a bunch of things and everyone i care about besides my boyfriend now safe from harm... let the records state, my name is Peter Parker, and I'm a disaster Bi.

> You Know Who I Am @Stark

This is how you decide to tell everyone?

>> S(B)ider-Man @Webcrawler

A video was posted of me taking off the mask. Better me first dad.

>>> Irondad @Stark

I'm so proud of you son

>>>> S(B)ider-Man @Webcrawler

Wait, what?

> Better Than You @Flash

No way penis can be Spider-Man!

>> Irondad @Stark

The fuck you'd at to my son? I thought we talked some sense into you last time

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> Suck On My @Oshoe

Love you babe!!!!

>> S(B)ider-Man @Webcrawler

I love you too!!!

S(B)ider-Man @Webcrawler

I guess I'm worthy?

[ Spider-Man is on the ceiling, looking down at the rest of the avengers. They're staring straight at the camera, not knowing what was going on. Spider-Man dropped on Thor, startling all the avengers as he grabbed Thor's hammer and Steve's shield.

"I have the power of gods and America on my side!" He joked, snorting out laughter at the startled Avengers. All who turned to shock as Peter pulled off his mask, still holding Thor's hammer. Peter doesn't seem to realize the magnitude of the hammer in his hand. "You guys should've seen your faces!"

"Stark Son... he's worthy..." Thor muttered under his breath.

"Oh, uh, here's the hammer back by the way, I just wanted to do a meme reference." As he moved the hand it back, he notices the stares, "Why is everyone looking at me?"

The video cuts off as the group cheers for Peter. Cheer that he is worthy to be king of the gods.]

S(B)ider-Man @Webcrawler

Update on the fan fic! There's still weird shit out there, but I'm very thankful for the fluff pieces written about me and Harry. Bless.

> Suck On My @Oshoe

They're still terribly inaccurate.

>> S(B)ider-Man @Webcrawler

But, but, there's this cute one where you propose and it's super cute.

>>> Suck On My @Oshoe

Hmmm

Suck On My @Oshoe

Happy 18th to my precious boyfriend @pbp / @webcrawler ! I love you!

[Picture of the pair at pride. Both of them are dressed in rainbow colors, Harry with the gay pride flag tied around him and Peter with the bi pride flag tied around him. Harry was kissing Peter's cheek]

> Yeeter @pbp

I love you too!!!!!!

Irondad @Stark

Happy 18th birthday to Peter Parker- Stark, my beautiful son who is going to do great things someday. Love you kiddo. @pbp / @webcrawler

[tony and Peter working in the lab, side by side. It was a natural sight of father and son]

> Yeeter @pbp

Love you too dad! And don't cut yourself short, you're super amazing and I love you and everything you do to make the world a better place!

>> Yeeter @pbp

I think I made my dad cry...

American Ass @Cap

Happy 18th to New York's finest hero, @pbp /@webcrawler . Happy birthday queens.

[peter hold the shield while in his spider suit, the mask rolled up enough to reveal his smile]

> Yeeter @pbp

Thanks Brooklyn

White Wolf @Bbarnes

Happy 18th @pbp , you meme loving fuck. I'm glad I get to know you. Continue being you kid.

[ Bucky and Peter playing Pokémon, huddled together. They're playing 'Let's Go Eevee!' On the switch]

Spider Mom @widow

Happy birthday @pbp . I'm happy that you let me be your spider mom. Love you kid.

[its a video. Peter and Natasha are doing ballet, talking in Russian about how school was going.]

Science Uncle @Drbanner

I never thought anyone would make me as proud as you @pbp / @webcrawler . happy 18th, you'll do great.

[Peter and Bruce napping. They're leaned against each other with an Iron Man blanket over them. There are huge ass bags under their eyes. Tony is sipping coffee in the background.]

Queen Mj @badbitch

Happy 18th to possibly the biggest nerd I know. Happy birthday looser, never stop being you. @pbp

[Peter looks extremely annoyed in the photo, glaring at someone just out of frame. (Flash)]

> Yeeter @pbp

Love you too Mj.

Youre My Only Hope @gitc

Happy Birthday to my best friend @pbp ! I'm so glad that we've been friends this long and I'm happy to be going to M.I.T. With you!!!!

[Ned and Peter dressed as Jedi's with functioning lightsabers. They're at a comic con, posing in front of Chewbacca's newer actor, holding a photo of the old one. They're all grinning boldly]

> Yeeter @pbp

Glad you're in my life too man.

SI CEO@Potts

Happy 18th to @pbp . I love him like he's my own son and I'm excited to see what he does in the future.

[a photo of Peter and Petter at a business meeting. Peter looks at Pepper fondly as she talks to the white men who say she shouldn't be in charge. He's proud of her]

> Yeeter @pbp

I love you too mom!

Superior@Snake

Happy 18th @pbp, you're the best of the misgardians

[a video of Loki and Peter Playing just dance]

Strongest Avenger @godofthunder

HAPPY 18TH STARK SON @pbp YOU ARE WORTHY OF THE THRONE OF GODS

[Peter holding the hammer proudly]

Bird Uncle @Hawkeye

Happy 18th you little shit. Love you kiddo. @pbp

[A selfie of Clint and Peter in the vents]

Cool Uncle @Rhodey

To @pbp, the only person who can truly keep Tony in check. Happy 18th kid.

[Another selfie. Rhodey and Peter have ice cream and both are sticking their middle fingers up]

Give Me Your FUCKN MONEY@shuriuwu

@pbp , the only white man I respect. Happy birthday my meme loving friend.

[the two are in the lab, sitting on web hammocks]

Ive Got The @magichoe

Happy birthday @pbp, I live you like a brother and I'm glad you're in my life.

[a picture of Peter Hugging Wanda, a cute photo with no context]

Do do do do Dora @Potatogun

Let's blow some shit up next time I visit. Happy birthday @pbp / @webcrawler

[Harley and Peter are dabbing]

Better Uncle @falcon

Happy birthday @pbp you little shit, go do shit that will make you happy.

[its simply a group photo, but Peter's in the center of it all]

Suck On My @Oshoe

Hey @pbp, I got a question for you?

[a picture of Harry on one knee, Peter directly in front of him. Both are dressed nice and it's obvious from the small shadows that everyone is there with them. Harry has a velvet box in hand a shining band in it. Behind the couple are fireworks and a giant seat of lights saying "marry me?"]

P.S I Love You @Oshoe

He said yes

[A selfie of them holding up their engagement bands, both blushing, smiling brightly]

S(B)ider-Man @Webcrawler

@Oshoe got the idea from a Fan fic, so thank you guys for making me have the most magical night. Keep writing.

...................

A/N: love you guys and happy pride month!