Important Note From RogerCaptain: This story is a standalone story... However, for the full effect, you should really read the chapter "Together" (Steve Rogers x Reader) - Part 1" BEFORE you read this one. I think it will offer a fuller experience for you. And I'm all about immersing you in this world!

I do not own these characters, I just write them as a way to love and care for them. This story gets the good Captain's language warning.

Together - Part 2

The feel of her shoulder pressed softly into his own ribs left a warm impression that, sadly, started to fade as she stepped away from him.

"It's going to be okay," he said softly, giving her a sincere look. Whatever grief he was feeling was about to be put aside. His priority now was helping her and making sure she was okay.

Y/N lifted her head to meet his gaze with lips pressed into a fine line. She nodded her head, "Thanks for walking me back, Buck."

His face grew sad as he watched her, wishing there was something more he could do. Stooping down a bit, he looked directly into her exhausted face. "If you need me... if you need anything..."

The faintest smile began on her lips, "I appreciate it. Thank you."

"Okay," he sighed lightly, not wanting to walk away and leave her, "get some sleep, sweetie." A soft but firm grip on her upper arm left her knowing that he meant what he said and he'd be there for her. He'd only be in a room across the hall.

She let herself into her room and looked out at him through the door one last time. "Goodnight, Buck."

"Sergeant Barnes?"

Bucky blinked hard before he looked up, a frown coming over his features. "I'm sorry... just remembering everything, I guess."

"I'm sure it's comforting to have memories again, even the bad ones."

He nodded. Sitting in a therapist's office was something he'd never be totally comfortable with, no matter how many times he'd been there. He imagined it was the same for most people though. Seeing Dr. Brooks on a somewhat regular basis was something he'd agreed to when he was invited to join the Avengers and move to the compound. Steve had urged the team to welcome him and they agreed, although the continued therapy had been a stipulation of Tony's. He hadn't been mean or vindictive about it and even Steve had agreed that it would be a good idea. Though the talented Princess Shuri had helped sort out his brain in Wakanda, they all knew Bucky was going to have a long road of figuring out who he would become now. He wasn't The Winter Soldier and he wasn't the fresh-faced Brooklyn charmer any longer. He'd always have the memories from both lives and combining them wasn't going to be incredibly easy. So Bucky didn't fight the therapy, he showed up faithfully, no matter how uncomfortable he was. No matter how much the torrid topics ripped him to shreds.

"The memories I see the most now... they're... well, there have been a lot of bad memories lately," he confessed.

Dr. Brooks nodded and paused to think a moment. "On a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst, how would you describe your sadness today?"

He shook his head lightly. "That's a loaded question... but, 7 or 8, I guess."

"7 or 8. Okay." She looked at her notes. "7 months ago, you answered 11. —11 out of 10." She sat forward in her chair to make a point, "That's progress."

He slowly nodded, not making eye contact, yet not seeming disagreeable.

"Can you explain what you meant when you said it was a loaded question?" Dr. Brooks had a friendly face and was easy to open up to, or as easy as it was for him to open up.

Bucky squinted his eyes and then stretched his back so he was sitting straight up. If he didn't tell her today, it was bound to come up again. Besides, maybe there was a possibility that she could actually help him feel better.

But he didn't think there was anything on earth that could make him feel better.

Heaven, maybe. But not earth.

"Going from an 11 to a 7 or 8 is good progress for losing someone so close to you, like you did. You said that Captain Rogers was like a brother to you. That's an incredibly serious loss... especially in your situation where he was the only person left from your old life."

"It's getting better, it is. It still hits me all the time," he squeezed his thighs through his dark jeans. "It's just..."

She waited patiently for him until he finally looked to her.

"...There's a bigger problem."

Dr. Brooks frowned. "That sounds serious. Are you open to discussing it?"

The long drive back to the compound from therapy always gave Bucky even more time to mull over the candid discussions he'd have with Dr. Brooks. Tonight was no different. The only real difference was the increased anxiety he was feeling lately and the changeover from his motorcycle to a truck now that the weather was getting chillier. The cold didn't bother him but a man riding a bike in early December drew attention.

"I don't want to say it."

"If you're not comfortable talking about it, we can table it for another session."

"I'll never be comfortable with it..."

Bucky shook his head as he flipped on his turn signals to take the road that would lead him home. The thoughts in his head would never get any easier, he was sure of it.

Home... that was a new but familiar feeling. Moving to the compound wasn't easy initially, but the fear and discomfort had lessened over time. Steve had been a big part of that.

Y/N had been a big part of that.

The two of them had welcomed him warmly, made sure he had everything he needed - physically and emotionally. The long dinners that turned into hours of storytelling, the nights they sat next to the river drinking beers, the missions where they offered support to each other... Bucky would never forget those good times, even if they had been sinking further and further to the depths of his mind lately.

There had been less of the good times since Steve was killed in an attack on a quinjet on his way to South Africa a year and a half ago.

Bucky's own sadness began taking a back seat as he watched Steve's sweet fiancée struggle with her own loss. After Y/N's obvious depression, her withdrawal from the team, her worn and gaunt expression, Bucky no longer felt sorry for himself.

Y/N was a wonderful person and Steve had truly loved her. He'd confided in Bucky a few times that although he was nervous about it, he couldn't wait to have kids with her and hoped it would be possible. Bucky had never quite seen his best friend that happy before - Steve was balanced and calm and walked with more purpose. And although it wasn't always happy times, the two of them always worked it out and really set a great example of love for everyone around them.

When Bucky saw that light inside of her die along with Steve, he wished he could have traded places with Steve.

Since that wasn't a possibility, it was his mission to try and bring her back. After all they'd both done for him, it wasn't a question of doing it, it just needed to be done. Likewise, she'd also become his friend in the past handful of years.

Pulling into his parking spot in the parking garage level, he turned off the ignition in the otherwise silent vehicle. A heavy sigh escaped before he got out of the truck and walked to the stairwell, every footstep crunching and echoing along the way, barely loud enough to be heard over his own thoughts. The climb up the stairwell was much the same until he opened the door leading to the hallway outside the main living area. The air pressure and temperature felt more comforting suddenly. The soft light coming from the lamps in the hallway made him realize maybe things weren't as bad as he was making them.

He was about to walk through the common room when his attention was drawn to the group of figures huddled on the couch. He slowed down and then stopped without thinking about it... and then there was the sudden tingly feel in his chest.

"Ladies," he smiled, catching the attention of Y/N and Wanda. A third lady was laying with her head on Y/N's lap, Bucky's dog, Dottie, a pretty, dark colored golden retriever. "Hey, Dot," he said excitedly and she raised her head to look at him, carelessly letting her chin drop back down onto Y/N's leg.

Y/N rubbed Dottie's nose and head gently, "Aww, are you going to ignore your pal Bucky like that?" She laughed gently and looked towards Bucky. "I hope you don't mind, I let her out of your room so I could have some company on my walk."

"Not at all," he said, stepping closer to the gathering. "She likes you better'n me anymore."

"Awww, no she doesn't," Y/N grinned, scratching Dottie's head.

"You can take her anytime, I promise," he assured her as he sat on the other end of the large couch. Although he'd adopted Dottie before Steve died, the pup had gravitated towards Y/N more after the tragedy. Bucky didn't hesitate to make Dot available to her because the time they spent together seemed to brighten Y/N.

"We're watching a terrible movie, you should join us," Wanda encouraged him.

"Did you eat?" Y/N asked, waiting with obvious anticipation of his answer.

He'd recently taken note that over the past six months, they'd eaten just about every meal together, worked out together daily, and hung out plenty of other times. His mind was starting to tell him to discourage it.

But he didn't really want to.

"I... uhhh..." he started to say.

"Taco salad—" she grinned. "You love my taco salad."

He caved, without very much pressure, albeit. "Sure, sounds great." He was starting to stand to go get it from the kitchen himself but Y/N beat him to it. "I'll get it, Y/N - sit down. —Please." He couldn't contain the gentle laugh in his voice because he knew he'd already lost this battle. But he was happy to see her energetic. Her light seemed to be back more often than not these days.

He was grinning subtly at the open concept kitchen as he watched her reach for a bowl in the cupboard. He shifted downward on the couch more so he could be closer to the coffee table. Now adjacent to Wanda as well, he noticed her watching him. She gave him a polite smile before they both turned to watch Dot get up off the couch to come greet him. As he rubbed her ears vigorously, he asked her, "Are you having a girls night with the ladies?"

Y/N was back with an enormous bowl of taco salad and a glass of ice water for him. She set it down in front of him and then squeezed down onto the couch between him and Wanda.

"You must think I can eat a lot," he chuckled, looking over at her and reaching for the bowl.

She tilted her head at him as she laughed.

"Oh so you're onto me then," he replied before taking a bite. His eyes closed in pure pleasure as he chewed. "Y/N, this is fantastic."

The three settled into an awful horror movie from the early 1980's, barely watching, making lots of conversation instead. That is, until Vision called Wanda from his mission in Russia and she left to take the call.

Bucky was acutely aware that he was alone with Y/N now. His mind searched for a reason to dismiss himself, something that wouldn't make it seem like he was being a jerk.

Suddenly loathing himself, he gently said, "I'm gonna go let Dot out." He patted his leg so Dot would come to him.

Y/N looked at him, her eyes tinted blue with the glow from the large, projected image of the movie. "You coming back?"

When he saw her face, a bit hopeful and sweet as ever, he didn't have the heart to tell her no. "Yeah, we'll be right back."

His stance showed defeat as he stood outside in the cold and waited for Dottie to do her business. He ran a hand through his hair, much shorter than it once was ever since Steve's funeral, and watched the breath come from his mouth, dissipating into the night air. He felt despise for himself rise up inside him as he thought about how out of hand he'd let this situation get. Tonight, it was a simple movie... but he'd already begun doing just about everything with her. And try as he might, he couldn't seem to break the habit. He felt like it was time for a discussion with her.

If he fractured their friendship now though, it might hurt her in a completely different way... and he'd go back to the days of being able to hear her cry at night as she lay in bed, the most terrible side effect of super soldier hearing he'd experienced in all his days.

But last week...

Last week, he'd almost kissed her.

He didn't know if she knew it, but he knew it. If Sam hadn't come around that corner when he did...

Worse yet, he was having a hard time telling if she felt the same way. He knew it couldn't be possible but if there was that small chance... did that make them both horrible people? Or just him?

But there was no way he could feel that way because she had to be in love with Steve still, despite the fact he'd been gone for so long now. Steve was five times the man he was.

He snapped to when he felt Dot looking up at him, patiently waiting for him to let her inside from the cold. When he let her inside, she ran straight to Y/N's side and curled up on the couch.

"Ohhhh, you're so cold!" Y/N kidded Dot, rubbing her fur to warm her up. The loving way she spoke to Dot warmed his heart. If he'd met Y/N before Steve, the war within him wouldn't even be a question. He knew he'd have fallen for her, hook, line, and sinker.

"You're cold too!" She laughed, as she rubbed Bucky's bare forearm.

The loving, caring part of her personality that had been temporarily pushed away from the weight of her grief over Steve was in full view again. And looking at her smiling, there's no way he could have the conversation with her. Not tonight.

As they settled back into the movie, it was quieter this time - all except for Y/N's occasional quick intake of air as the scary parts played.

"There's no way that guy could get there that fast just walking," Bucky remarked as he furrowed his brow, gesturing towards the movie.

He grinned, looking down in her direction to see that her eyes were closed. Her head was turned in his direction and was just inches from his arm. His heart swelled looking down at her. Trying to keep his head about him, he pulled a blanket down from the back of the couch and covered her. He leaned down to kiss her forehead before quietly getting up. Dottie looked at him and went back to snuggling Y/N.

Lumbering back to his room, he wondered why he hadn't just picked her up and carried her to her bed... but no, that would have been inappropriate, right? Friends don't do that. He could have woken her up instead. Why didn't he just do that?

"Hey," a soft voice said, bringing him out of his thoughts.

Bucky's head turned towards the sound, coming eye to eye with Wanda, who was leaning out of her doorway. She was barefoot and pajama-clad as she stepped out towards him.

It was unsettling to him that she was saying nothing and her face seemed somewhat serious. Wanda stopped in front of him, meeting his eye. "She hasn't realized she's in love with you yet."

Bucky searched for words but he was left with his mouth hanging open a bit.

"It's okay," Wanda reached for his arm, "I know how you feel about her."

He exhaled, bringing his lips back together.

He wouldn't dare hide anything from Wanda, that would be laughable. But he also knew she'd probably held back saying this for awhile now.

"Too obvious?" he asked gently.

She shook her head. "I feel you holding back. I know you're struggling. I know you don't want to talk about it but... if you need to, you know you can talk to me."

"Thanks," he nodded solemnly before turning back towards his room.

"I was much better today. I have been lately. I know you'd be proud," she whispered as she looked down at the silver frame in her hands. Steve's grin stared back at her, the crisp blue eyes, the solid shoulders...

It was the framed photo of him in the blue plaid shirt she loved him in. She'd said something completely off the wall to make him laugh before she snapped the photo. It was her favorite photo of him. And now she was sitting with it in her dimly lit bedroom.

"I'll never stop missing you. But everyday is getting better."

Her eyes wrinkled with a laugh, "Even though today all I did was be completely lazy with Wanda and then watch a stupid movie with Buck." She couldn't help but smile remembering making Bucky watch that awful movie even though she was sure he had no interest. "He tolerates my crazy ideas pretty well," she giggled.

"Goodnight, love."

Setting the frame down and turning off the lamp on her nightstand, she settled down into the bed and covered up.

Minutes later, she smiled when something popped into her head that she thought she'd have to remember to tell Bucky tomorrow.

But after a moment, her demeanor changed.

An ache started in her chest and she sat up. Turning the light on, she saw Steve's face again and her hands went to her mouth instinctively. "I'm so sorry," she cried out. The tears were coming out burning hot and furious now. She gripped her mouth with her hands and choked on her sobs. "I'm so sorry," she cried quietly, the words barely audible, her voice strangled by her own fear.

As she sat, partially tangled in a bedsheet, the salty tears ran down her cheek, escaping through her tightly closed eyes. If she didn't open her eyes, none of this new knowledge could be true. She'd just stay in her room tomorrow. Everyone would think she wasn't feeling well. If she didn't see them, if she didn't see him... she could deny it. It didn't have to be true.

The sound of reserved knuckles shuffling on her door pulled her back into the world outside her fog as she went dead silent. Before she could answer, the door opened slowly. Bucky's face appeared from the darkness of the hallway, his head turned away and his eyes closed, obviously in case she wasn't decent.

"Y/N? You okay, sweetie?" His voice was shrouded with sleep as he spoke softly.

She sniffled and nodded before realizing his eyes were still closed. "Yeah," she whispered.

He thoughtfully stepped inside, closing the door before turning to her, as she now stood in front of him. Wrapping his arms around her, thinking she'd had another of the nightmares about Steve, he rubbed her back and prepared to be comforting just as their usual routine went. But he felt her pull away.

"Bucky, I can't," she whispered, shaking her head.

"Okay," he said softly. "Do you need to talk?" When her response was silence and no eye contact, he nervously added, "I can leave you alone if that's what you want..."

"I can't do this," she said, stepping back even more. It was hard for her to meet his eyes, to see his concern. The words surprised her coming out.

"—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to burst in here, I..."

"No," she finally looked at him. "You're sweet. You came to check on me like a good friend does. It's me."

He could see she couldn't find the words.

She shook her head and her eyes had a far-off look, "I let it happen. It's my fault, not yours."

"Y/N..." he tried to break in, attempting to delay the inevitable. The blood starting rushing through him, leaving him on high alert.

He was pretty sure he knew what was coming now.

"Bucky, I used you as my crutch – too much." Y/N blinked hard and tears rolled down her face. "I replaced Steve with you – so much so that I fell for you." Her vocal chords shook with every word.

As his heart thumped in his chest and the sound around him was dull and murky, his mind raced with the decision of what he should tell her.

Honesty was the best policy.

He slowly reached for her hands, holding them as if they were glass. They looked so small in his hands, one flesh, the other ominous black metal.

Bucky took a deep breath and looked down to meet her eyes. He knew if he didn't cut directly to the chase, she'd wouldn't fully understand and probably keep apologizing. But it wasn't one-sided.

"Y/N..." his voice leaked out in a whisper, "I'm in love with you."

Her eyes slowly lowered to his chest as she sucked in a strained breath. Her eyebrows creased. It was an explosive mix of her mind racing and blanking out simultaneously.

She was sad... then happy... then horrified.

As Bucky sat on the edge of his bed with tears clouding his vision, he couldn't stop replaying her words.

"Betrayal..."

She was disgusted with him, he was fairly sure. But the sadder part was how disgusted she was with herself. She couldn't stop seeing herself as the villain of her own story and that broke his heart. Neither of them had meant for it to happen.

Bucky was sure he was in love with her. There was no question in his mind.

Except for the question... was she in love with him? - Or was it the idea of being with someone again? Or the idea of happiness and having someone around?

Either way, he was as disgusted at himself as she was. Her words hurt but they were nothing he hadn't been telling himself already.

Part of him thought about packing his things and going. But if he had the ability to help save the world, then he had the responsibility to stay and save the world. Besides, leaving wouldn't have been what Steve would have wanted for him.

Steve...

The tears burned his eyes as he swiped at them. His eyes closed and his head fell back as he shook it towards the heavens. "I'm sorry, brother."

If Steve could hear him right now, he needed to know that Bucky was sorry.

The dark of the night faded to the warm colors of sunrise as Bucky moved and sat in the chair in the corner, quietly and thoughtfully, while the dark thoughts finally turned into a peaceful kind of melancholy and brought the daylight he dreaded.

Tony wasn't surprised in the least when Bucky knocked quietly on the glass door of his lab. Although it took longer than expected. No one had seen Bucky in days. There were traces of his existence but no one was actually seeing him.

Bucky couldn't make eye contact with Tony as he entered the office, and for once, Tony was giving him full attention instead of continuing to work on his computer.

"Need a tweak?" Tony asked.

"If you have the time."

Tony nudged a rolling stool towards him so he could sit down. They sat with a table between them and Bucky dropped his metal arm down in the middle. "What am I looking at here?" Tony squinted his eyes, focusing on the arm in short glances. "Nevermind, I see it." He reached for some tools. "How the hell'd you do that?"

Bucky looked sheepish. "I hit it just right while I was working out." They both looked to the bent out piece of metal on one of the creases in his arm.

"Must have been a hell of a workout to bend vibranium," Tony raised an eyebrow.

There was a moment of silence but Tony wasn't done prying yet. He knew this was an opportunity to get some information.

"You, uh, upset about anything in particular?" Tony asked casually. "It wouldn't have anything to do with a certain little bird who's flown the coop, would it?"

Normally, Bucky would have trouble tolerating the prying but Tony had caught his attention.

"What do you mean?" his eyebrows tensed. "She's gone?"

Tony pursed his lips and nodded ever so slightly, not taking his eyes off his hands.

Bucky's chest ached suddenly. "Tony..."

Looking at the saddened super soldier, Tony knew he would have to say more to calm his nerves. "She's okay."

"You know where she is?"

Tony sighed softly, "No, but... she's been through a lot this year. I'm sure she needed space." Gauging his audience, he decided to keep up the line of questioning. "You two have a fight or something?"

"Yeah," Bucky frowned before thinking about it again. "No... well, not exactly."

"Hold still," Tony said, holding up a small hammer, lining up where to hit the burred piece of vibranium. The clanging echoed throughout the room for a minute before he set the tools back down. "That should do it for now. Try not to Hulk out again."

Bucky shook his head aimlessly, looking down at this legs.

Tony's mouth pinched upward on one side as he watched, his eyes momentarily darting around. "So... do you, like... want me to ask you about it? - Because I'm very much okay with standing on the sidelines busying myself buying a chili dog at the concession stand." He breathed out calmly, "Except if I have to worry about Y/N, maybe you need to tell me now."

"I didn't mean for it to happen," Bucky said softly, looking up at Tony with a broken soul. There was only one thing that could make him look at Tony and forget about their rough past, enough for him to bare his soul. And it was her. "I fell for her... hard... and..."

Tony's tough facade was wearing down fast. He considered Y/N a very special person, she was family. And since Steve was gone, truthfully, he'd relied on Bucky to be someone he could trust to look after her as well. In that way, he'd come to trust Bucky. He leaned forward onto the table. "And we all know her sun rises and sets on you."

Bucky looked to Tony quickly, trying to judge if the statement was made in jest. But Tony's face suggested it was heartfelt.

"I can't..." Bucky shook his head.

"Can't what? - Can't be with her?"

Bucky breathed out as calmly as possible. "That's... that's my best friend's girl."

Tony's hand moved closer to the middle of the table, his index finger tapping down, his body leaning into it. "If you want my honest opinion, Rogers would approve."

Bucky's forehead wrinkled upwards as he stared blankly at Tony.

"He loved her more than life itself. He wanted her to be happy."

Two and a half more days passed. It rained so hard, the raindrops threatened to rip the earth open. He found himself sitting at the window more often than not, watching while he wondered where she was and what she was thinking. He hesitated reaching out to her.

But on this particular afternoon, it seemed like the right thing to do to get in touch with her. She loved Dottie so much, he hated to deprive her of the adorable moment he'd snapped a photo of - when Dottie laid down on her back and was watching the tv upside down, her front paws dangling in the air above her.

Walking back and forth next to his bed, Dottie watching his every move, he clutched his phone in his right hand. He'd already opened a text and put Y/N's name in it. He'd typed something out... then deleted it. He repeated that another time before stopping himself and sitting on the bed. Dottie curled herself around him as he typed.

Y/N, I know you need some space right now and I respect that. I couldn't resist passing along a picture of your favorite little buddy and her odd tv habits. I hope you're well.

He cringed as he sent the message, hoping he hadn't overstepped. But he had tried not to be pushy - just honest and respectful. The ball was in her court now and he hoped she'd throw it back when she was ready.

Surprised and nervous to look at the message, he held up his phone to look at her return message, less than 20 minutes later.

Thank you, that made my day. Give her a snuggle from me.

He breathed a sigh of relief that she would actually send something back to him. But before his eyes were finished reading the text again, another message chimed in.

I'm sorry I had to go and I'm sorry I treated you like I did. We probably need to talk. I'll be back in a few days.

Bucky's heart swelled as he typed back.

Whenever you're ready. I'm sorry, too. Be safe, Y/N.

10:17 pm, two nights later, he heard her opening her door, bags in tow. Dottie popped up off the floor, knowing who was across the hall. He suddenly felt paralyzed, knowing he should give her space... knowing he shouldn't run right over.

Hours passed and the clock hands moved into a position where a decent person wouldn't impose by visiting at that hour. He'd been laying on his bed for an hour, reading the same paragraph in a book over and over, trying to absorb what it said. He finally called it a night after 2, when he knew there was no way she'd come to him at that hour.

More days went by. It took an effort for him to focus on anything and to keep himself from overthinking the situation constantly. He'd seen her in the hallway a few times, he'd seen her in the gym. It was obvious she wasn't ready to talk besides a quick hello. He still felt like a thug for falling in love with her but he couldn't deny how much he missed her. Now he felt heartbroken for a different reason.

What had happened couldn't be denied. The awkwardness between them was easy for the rest of the team to see. Though neither of them were talking about it, it wasn't hard to figure out and everyone had their own theory.

One afternoon when Bucky, Sam, and Natasha were returning home from a mission in Bucharest, Wanda found herself in the kitchen with Y/N and with the opportunity for a candid conversation.

"You know, it doesn't seem like anyone feels like decorating for Christmas this year," Wanda said, dropping it out there to see what Y/N would do with it.

Y/N continued stirring the pot of soup on the stove. "I know I don't," she said flatly, not looking up.

"You going to keep feeling sorry about this forever?" Wanda asked casually.

Y/N's forehead raised in surprise as she looked back at Wanda.

"You're punishing yourself," Wanda sighed, stepping closer to Y/N. "And he's broken-hearted. ...And it's all pointless because you're in love."

"Wanda..."

"I know you love Steve, we all know you love Steve. And he was my friend, too. Steve wouldn't want you to be where you are now. He wanted better for you." Wanda paused to compose herself. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Y/N... but I have to tell you how I feel." She stepped in front of Y/N, looking at her seriously. "Steve would have wanted the best for you."

Y/N's eyes filled with tears as Wanda's arms reached out to embrace her. Crying into her shoulder for a few minutes actually made Y/N feel better. After a few moments, they smiled through the tears and talked about bringing the team together to decorate for Christmas.

With a tall and naked Christmas tree in the corner of the common room, nestled between two sets of floor to ceiling windows, there was a hustle and bustle in the compound that there hadn't been for awhile. On this rainy and cold night, Wanda had lit the fireplace as well as some candles and was putting on soft Christmas music as Tony held the tree in place for Y/N to tighten it into the tree stand. "You look good, kid," Tony smiled at her as they stood up.

The sound of footsteps coming down the hallway made them all turn towards the noise. "Look what the cat dragged in," Tony grinned at Natasha, Sam, and Bucky. They each dropped a duffel bag down in the corner as they walked in the room.

Natasha's eyes lit up as she saw the tree and took note of the gingerbread-scented candles, "It smells divine in here!"

Bucky and Y/N's eyes briefly met before Sam tapped him in the arm to suggest they go get the boxes of decorations.

Within minutes, the team was working like a well-oiled machine to get the lights on the tree and dig through boxes of ornaments while Tony carried in a stack of hot pizza boxes from Ray's. A rain-dampened Pepper found her way to the party, happy to see a warm room. The mood was light and they were all enjoying the evening. Natasha was walking around with a wine bottle, filling up glasses as laughter carried through the compound.

The party settled after the wine set in and they all tired out a bit. As they sat on couches, some with feet propped up on the coffee table, Dottie rested her head on Y/N's legs. Bucky watched from the couch across from her, giving her a warm smile which she returned as she scratched Dottie's head.

Sam sat forward quickly. "I completely forgot, there was one more box I couldn't carry..." He jogged down the hallway to the storage area and returned with the last box. He smiled and laughed as he peered into the box, setting it down on the back of the couch. "It's those ugly bulbs we painted a couple years ago."

"Ohh! Let me see!" Natasha got up and reached for the box.

One by one, she began pulling ornaments out and handing them to the rightful owners to add to the tree. "Tony?" she said, reaching to hand the ornament over to him.

"I'm good here," he said with a shrug, feeling too lazy to get up whilst clutching a throw pillow.

"I got it," Y/N said, rising from her seat to take the bulb. "I see an empty spot anyway," she laughed, walking to the back of the tree.

"HEY!" Tony laughed. "The back of the tree?"

They all chuckled as Wanda stood up next to Y/N to hand her a refilled glass of wine. "Hey, it was an empty spot," she giggled.

They looked to Natasha to see who was next and she was standing very still, looking at an ornament, deciding what to do with it. She slowly looked up. "Y/N..."

Y/N's blood ran cold as she reached to take the bulb from Natasha. She knew what it was before she looked. It was the most beautiful ornament that any of them painted the night Pepper arrived excitedly with a box of plain white bulbs and paints a few years before. They sat down to paint together in the time before Bucky had arrived to live at the compound, the team giving up on painting one by one while Steve concentrated longer than any of them. The bulb Natasha had just handed Y/N was Steve's and the painting was exquisite - an ocean scene with a sunset, a reminder of the their first date. He'd added their initials to it as well, in a subtle place that he'd pointed out to her, so as to not be too mushy for the rest of the team. She flashbacked to sitting next to him, snuggled against his arm, watching him paint as he looked down at her to tell her about the hidden initials, his eyes sparkling and his little one-sided smile being held back so as not to be too overzealous.

Y/N's face went white and the team went silent. One by one, they remembered what the ornament was. Dottie walked to her and sat near her side as she slowly hung the bulb near Tony's. She turned to Dottie, not making eye contact with anyone else, "You have to go out, Dot?"

Y/N walked out the patio door with Dottie as the rest of them exchanged sad glances. Bucky sat forward but Wanda held a gentle hand up to him.

"You still give me chills from the other side," she laughed gently from the covered porch as she watched Dottie look for the perfect spot to go. Her head raised to the Heavens to look for any sign of Steve as her heart dropped. "Every time I think I can move on..."

Inside, Bucky watched from the couch as Y/N stood in the cold looking on at Dottie and Wanda explained what had just happened. He ran his hands down his face as he breathed out gently. Natasha handed him down Y/N's ornament and he stood to hang it.

Reflecting the emotions in his own heart, the rain picked up speed outside as he glanced at the window again. Thunder rolled lightly in the distance and suddenly, Dottie was off like a rocket, running far from the compound. Not missing a beat, Y/N was right behind her as Bucky bolted for the door himself. Y/N and Bucky were both calling out for Dottie as Y/N ran through the already rain-soaked and muddy yard. In an instant, Dottie had disappeared from sight as she got to the tree line and Y/N continued to chase her. But in the dark of night, as the trees got closer and Dottie was nowhere in sight, Y/N suddenly found herself laying soaking wet and face-down on the ground after tripping over a tree root.

Bucky was just feet behind her now and she rolled over and called out, "I'm sorry, I tried to get to her." The rain hitting her eyes wasn't the only wetness in her eyes.

"It's okay," Bucky called back to her as he bent down to help her up, his face squinting as the rain pounded down on him.

She cringed as she stood up, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose her, Buck—"

"It's not your fault," he sighed, "she'll come back. Are you hurt?"

"I'm okay," she said, looking up into his face. "I'm..."

His face was gentle as he moved wet hair from her face.

"Bucky," she swallowed. "I'm sorry about what happened. I'm sorry—"

"I know, I'm sorry too." He breathed out calmly, "I think it's probably best if I go though - you belong here and I'm only making your life more complicated." His forehead tensed as he turned to look towards the woods to see if Dottie was anywhere in sight.

He took a few steps towards the trees and as Y/N watched him go, she felt the nerves pulsing all over her body and her breath got faster. She limped towards him, now realizing her ankle was hurt. As he turned to see her limping, she was right in front of him. "Don't go... I don't want you to."

"Y/N..."

"Please don't go, Bucky, I don't want to lose you. I love you." Her voice cracked with the raw emotion, the rain hitting them hard and the thunder rolling quietly in the distance.

He sucked in a sharp breath before reaching out for her. His hand slipped behind her head and she reached for him. Their lips met softly, only the rain running down between them. As they paused to catch their breath, Bucky's forehead rested on hers, "I love you, too, Y/N."

He opened his eyes and pulled back to see her face, "I know this isn't the way we wanted this to happen but maybe... maybe we were meant to find each other."

With hard, fat raindrops making crashing noises against their wet shirts, they looked at each other honestly. "We both love Steve," she said, teary-eyed.

"And we always will," he finished her thought.

Catching them both off guard, the sky lit up as bright as day with lightning as they looked up fearfully and Bucky scooped her closer.

Inside the living area, as much as they wanted to give Bucky and Y/N privacy, all eyes turned towards the yard when the lightning crashed. Tony and Sam ran to the door when they saw a tree light up and fall over. Seconds later, the shadow of Bucky rushing through the yard with Y/N in his arms began to appear. Everyone else followed as they ran onto the porch to see Bucky moving quickly, carrying Y/N as gently as he could.

"Oh, no..." Natasha whispered.

"Is she hurt?" Tony yelled as he ran down into the grass towards them.

"I'm okay," Y/N smiled, soaking wet and muddy.

Tony gripped her arm, "God, you scared me."

Bucky stepped onto the patio with her in his arms as the crowd parted. He set her down gently and kept an arm around her waist to steady her. He took notice that she wasn't backing away from him holding her and his heart did a little flip.

Pepper ran out with a few towels for them as the lightning crashed down yet again. It was chilly and wet, enough to make everyone want to get inside. But Y/N didn't move as Bucky took a step forward. She'd turned to look back out towards the woods.

"She's still out there... Do you think she's scared?"

"She's going to be okay," Bucky assured her as he wrapped her shoulders tightly in a towel. He crouched down to grip her legs with another towel, trying to soak up some of the water.

Y/N held onto his shoulders and looked down at him drying her. When he looked up at her, she was smiling. "You're wonderful, you know that?"

Bucky stood up and looked into her eyes, a little nervously. "I'll never be as good for you as Steve was bu—"

She shook her head, "Buck... I'm not comparing." She gave him a soft, reassuring smile. "It's obvious to me that part of the reason Steve was the man he was... was because of your influence on him."

Bucky's lips curved into a thin smile. "Okay."

"You've already proved yourself over the past year. I fell for you because of who you are and how you treat me." She reached for another towel to throw over his shoulders. "I fell in love with you."

He reached out for her hands and held them in his. "We'll never forget him. He's a part of us both."

She nodded, happy to agree with him.

"I know he would have never wanted you to be alone," he said.

"Or you..." she added. She sighed lightly as she looked at his chest. "You comfortable taking things slow?"

"Absolutely," he grinned, squeezing her hand.

She laughed and pushed more wet hair off her face, "Especially slow with me limping."

Bucky smiled and reached down to pick her up again as the rain slowed, "I got you."

Y/N nodded in agreement because, it was true, he was taking care of her now but he had been for quite some time. She had no problem fully putting her trust in him because he'd already proven himself. He'd been putting her first for a long while now. As she was looking at him, thinking about this, he was smiling back at her.

Their moment was interrupted by a far off bark and he turned them around to see Dottie running towards them.

"Thank God," she said. "I would have felt horrible for losing your buddy."

"She's more yours than mine," he grinned. "Wouldn't be surprised if she ran off just to get us working together..."

Y/N bit her lip softly, "I love you, Buck." It was shy but genuine, and a new feeling to say out loud —something she'd been pushing away but now seemed alright to admit.

His face was already right next to hers and he pressed it into hers, kissing the side of her temple, "I love you, too."

Gathered in the common room, the glow from the fireplace lighting happy faces, the team sat happily on the couches, with pizza boxes, beer bottles and wine glasses scattered over the coffee table. The Christmas music played and the tree was trimmed. White lights twinkled against shiny Christmas bulbs casting a calm over all who convened there.

Bucky had Y/N pulled tight to his side, his arm around her shoulders. He smiled down at her as she watched his face with a giant grin.

"What?" he laughed.

"I have something for you. I was going to wait for Christmas but I don't think I can." Her beaming face had him eating out of the palm of her hand. She jumped up and walked quickly down the hall, calling for Dottie to come with her, leaving him to shake his head before meeting Sam's eyes.

"Your wife's up to something," Sam laughed.

"No surprise there," Bucky added.

Tony, sitting snugly next to Pepper, nodded at Bucky, a slight reminder to Bucky of the days they used to occasionally speak of Y/N with heartfelt concern. The look now was more a gesture of respect from Tony, a place Bucky would have never envisioned getting to when he first moved to the compound.

"Go on, go get him," Y/N cooed at Dottie, pointing towards Bucky.

Bucky couldn't help but "awww" at Dottie with a pretty red Christmas ribbon tied around her neck, prancing towards him excitedly. She carried a small, flat box in her mouth before letting him take it from her.

He looked up at Y/N, who was now sitting on the arm of the couch next to him. Carefully opening the box, he pried away layers of folded tissue paper before looking back up at her with his mouth hanging slightly ajar and his eyebrows worn high on his forehead. She laughed and squeezed his shoulder, nodding in reassurance.

"What is it?" a few people called out.

Bucky took a deep breath and lifted the object out of the box before turning it towards everyone else. It was an ornament with four snowmen on it and each had a name. "Bucky, Y/N, Dottie, and Baby."

Cheers shouted out as he put the box and ornament on the coffee table to reach for Y/N. Standing to pull her into a hug, everyone else followed suit and soon there was a crowd of well-wishers around them.

A few feet away, on a table displaying many years worth of memories, there sat a wooden picture frame. The glass reflected the flicker of the fireplace and the reversed image of a team embraced in hugs and happiness. Behind the glass was a smiling face, crisp blue eyes, soft wisps of sandy blonde hair coming from what would have otherwise been considered helmet hair. He wore his uniform and had one hand up in a firm wave, a subtle thank you to the crowd that cheered for them, while the other hand was around a beautiful spy, the love of his life. On his other side was the dark-haired childhood friend and army comrade who was more family than friend. The man in the middle had his family at his fingertips on that day, after they'd saved a small town from certain disaster. He'd have moved Heaven and earth for those two people.

The fact that he was no longer on this earth didn't change that. And those two special people knew that.

As Y/N hugged Bucky tight, the picture frame caught her eye and a smile came to her face. In her head, the word he'd used as motivation once upon a time, couldn't help but echo as she returned his smile... "together."

________

Thank you so much for reading. Hope you enjoyed this, True Believers.