You wake up to the sound of screaming. The figure next to you is thrashing relentlessly, and you are terrified as you come to your senses.

"Leave her alone!" Bucky's voice cuts through the air. "Get off her!"

You are scared and utterly confused. You tap him on the shoulder, only to immediately regret your decision. The comforter is thrown into the air and Bucky flies up. Before you can comprehend what is happening, he is on top of you. His large, cold hands clamp around your throat, cutting off your air supply.

"B-buck!" you scream, but barely any sound escapes. Tears spring in your eyes as you stare into the eyes of your boyfriend. He looms over you menacingly, and just when you're starting to accept your death, you make one final attempt to save yourself.

"James!" you scream, and this time the loud, strangled cry can be heard. Bucky's eyes dart around, and when then they fall back on you. His hands retreat at the speed of light and he jumps off you. You grab your throat where his hands were positioned just seconds before, and you cough relentlessly. You struggle for air, and over your own sounds you can jut barely make out another. Crying.

You look to the opposite corner of the room. It's dark, but you spot the glint of bright, shining metal. You rise from the bed and make your way over to him, trying not to stumble. His face is buried in this arms, which rest on his knees.

"Buck?" you squeak. He slowly looks up at you, noticing the hand marks on your neck.

"Get away from me," he whispered.

"Buck..."

"I said get away from me!" he roars, startling you as you back away. He sees the fear in your eyes.

"Don't you see?! I'm a monster! I'll never be anything better than HYDRA's pet!" he cries.

"Bucky, that's not true," you say softly.

"Of course it's true! All I do is hurt people Y/N! Everyday I remember the faces of the innocent people I've killed, and I'm reminded of what a waste of air I am! You almost ended up like them!" he screams.

"All I'll ever do is hurt you," he cries, choking on the last few words which leads to more violent crying. You stride confidently to his place on the floor. You take his face in your hands and force him to face you. Despite this, his eyes dart to the ground.

"James Buchanan Barnes. Look at me," you demand. He obeys, slowly dragging his gaze up to meet yours. "You are not and never will be a monster, do you hear me?"

"But-"

"No. That person that hurt all those people? That was the Winter Soldier, not you. That was HYDRA, not you. You are the amazing, loving and caring man that I am grateful to call my boyfriend, not evil, not a killer, not a monster. Do you understand?"
He nods, then he hesitates.

"But I hurt you. How could you possibly love me?" he whines, tears staining his cheeks.

"How could I not love you?" you reply innocently. More tears spill over as he gazes into your eyes.

"I dreamt that I lost you. HYDRA took you and hurt you in the same ways they hurt me. It was so horrible and-"

"James," you interrupt. "I'm here, and I'm not ever going to leave you." He lays his head in your lap, sobbing violently, but for a different reason this time. Now he cries because he is grateful. Grateful for you, and for your unconditional love. You stroked his hair and whispered words of comfort to him until his breathing slowed.

"I love you," you said quietly.

"I love you more," he mumbled, and then he fell asleep on your lap. You were still sitting straight up on the floor, but it didn't matter because if Bucky is happy, so are you.

You both wake up the net morning, groaning as you stand up. You were unbearably sore from your positions on the ground.

"Couples massage?" you suggest.

"Don't have to ask me twice, Doll."