~Jacob~

When I got there, I went straight to Autumn and tried to figure out a way to talk to her. I just hope that I don't slip up and tell her by accident.

Jacob: Why are you cancelling our date?

Straight to the point..

Autumn: I didn't confirm anything yet. I just said I might not be able to go.

Jacob: Why not?

Autumn: Because I said so.

Jacob: Autumn. Please tell me why.

She nodded and looked at the TV.

Autumn: I decided to make plans with Nicole tonight and give you a break.

Jacob: A break? From what?

Autumn: From me..

She was looking down at her hands and I just couldn't get this through my head.

Jacob: From you? Baby, I just worked my ass off trying to get you to trust me and to date me! There ain't no way that I'm taking a break! The only way I'm taking a break is if I die. Now tell me what's really going on. What's bothering my baby?

I said as I pulled her into my arms to hold her. She took a good whiff of me and her eyes shifted.

Autumn: Why do you smell like perfume?

It was faint because I took a shower. I sighed and looked down.

Jacob: Fine. It was gonna be a surprise for your birthday, but I was checking some perfumes at the store and seeing which one smelled good since they didn't have the sticks. Then I tried to wash it off, cause I ain't bout to be smellin' like no female.

She smiled.

Autumn: Well, you didn't wash good enough. Thank you..

She squeezed me a little tighter and hurried her face deeper into my chest.

Jacob: I take it that you like it, huh?

She nodded.

Autumn: Mmhmm. What's the name of the fragrance?

Jacob: Well, if I tell you, it'll ruin everything because you'll try to go out and buy it yourself.. Plus, I don't remember.

Autumn: Ugh, you suck.

Jacob: I love you too, baby.

Do I even mean what I say? Do I really love her? Or am I just here for sex? Do I really want to be here? Or am I just trying not to break her heart? This is really starting to get to me.. For the first time, ever, I was the one who removed Autumn's body from me so that I could get up. She seemed a little confused but said nothing. I went into the kitchen and decided to try and take my mind off of everything by cooking. But could I cook? I can't even focus enough to cook.. Maybe a break is good for now..

Autumn: Hey..

Jacob: Hey..

I replied blandly.

Autumn: You feeling alright?

Jacob: Yeah.. It's just a lot on my mind, that's all.

I rubbed my face and then placed my hands on the counter.

Autumn: Do you wanna talk about it?

I thought about it for a long time.. Should I tell her? I mean, if she's my girl then she's gotta be my girl. She's gotta know how to understand me in my dark moments and right now, I'm in a hole that's next to a doghouse.

Jacob: Nah, I'm fine.

Autumn: Well, if you wanna talk or anything, I'm here.

She began to walk away when I suddenly spoke up.

Jacob: Wait! Um.. Autumn?

She turned around.

Autumn: Yes?

Jacob: I.. Thank you.. For being there for me.

She smiled.. That's not what I wanted to say. Autumn, a lot of things have been going down lately and it's been hard. Some of the stuff does involve Helen but you gotta understand and trust me. Okay? That's what I wanted to say. But my words wouldn't come out.

Autumn: You're welcome, Jacob.

Jacob: Come here.

She came closer and I wrapped my arms around her waist. I made our foreheads touch.

Jacob: No matter what happens, you're always mine. Okay?

Autumn: Okay, J.

She nodded. I kissed and hugged her. If this girl ain't everything I've ever wanted, then I do t know who is. And if she ain't my soul mate, then I don't have one.

Jacob: Come on, let's go watch a movie.

I grabbed her hand and pretty son, I could hear keys.

Nicole: What's up, guys?

Autumn: Hey Nicole!

They looked at me.

Jacob: Hey..

I waved my hand lazily and gave a half smile.

Nicole: Jacob, what's wrong?

Jacob: Nothing. I'm coo.

She kept looking at me but I didn't care. Autumn spoke up.

Autumn: Jacob's just going through a few things right now and needs some time.

Nicole: Oh okay. My bad. Take ya time, J.

They went off into the kitchen and began to talk. My phone went off.

"Hey daddy, when u comin bk? ;)" ~ Helen

I wanted to reply, Never and shut my phone off, but I wasn't in the mood for her bullshit once I got home if I said that to her.

"When I get there" ~ Jacob

I honestly don't care at this point. I don't know who or what I love. Do I love Autumn, Helen or do I just love ass? I guess I'll see overtime..

~Autumn~

Nicole: Now what exactly is wrong with him?

Autumn: I don't know. He seems like he wants to tell, but he doesn't. It kinda feels like there's something I should know, but I don't.

She gave me a look.

Autumn: What?

Nicole: You know exactly what I'm looking at you for.

Autumn: Nikki, no. He's changed. It's probably just him Mom or something.

Nicole: Whatever. But if I find out the truth, say goodbye to the kids.

Autumn: Kids?

She looked down and then back up and I covered my face.

Autumn: Oh God, Nicole!

Nicole: I'm just saying.. Snip snip! Snip snip!

She said while making the motion of scissors with her hand.

Autumn: You're getting too violent and you only get like this when you're single.

Nicole: Oh, Shut the fuck up! I'm single and proud of it, thank you.

Autumn: Mmhmm.

Jacob: I hate to do this to you baby, but I gotta go. My moms just texted me.

Autumn: Really?

I sighed.

Autumn: Okay..

He half hugged me and kissed my cheek.

Jacob: I love you.

Autumn: Love you too..

And then he left.

~Jacob~

Once I got back home, Helen was waiting for me.

Helen: Hey.. You okay?

Jacob: I'm fine..

I replied blandly. She grinned and walked over to me.

Helen: Well.. Now that you're back..

Her arms wrapped around my neck and I pushed her away.

Jacob: Not tonight. I'm not in the mood.

She sighed and rolled over.

Helen: Fine..

Jacob: Remember my rules. Get up and go sleep somewhere else. I got a perfectly good couch and a spare room. So, go.

She huffed and went.

Helen: Asshole..

I turned over and tried to sleep but my mind wouldn't rest. I could only think about Autumn.. Why do I think about the other girl when I'm with the girl I want? Vice versa too..