I thought nothing could grow even more awkward than my household, but when I show up to school on Tuesday, Allison and Juliet barely mutter a few words to me. I suppose I couldn't expect acceptance from all my friends, but it still hurts the same. I thought I was a better judge of character than that. I am starting to doubt a lot of parts of myself these days.

My heart feels splintered. I have to be strong anyway, but it hurts me to know that so many people I genuinely cared about apparently aren't willing to accept me for who I am. The natural thing to do would be for me to cut those people out of my life, but when your mother is one, and two close friends you are forced to see every day are the others, it becomes more difficult.

At lunch, I start to feel normal as I converse with Abigail and Hazel until Allison and Juliet arrive. They don't mention prom for once, probably as not to bring up the subject of "me" again. But they don't say much else, at least not directly to me. Strangely enough, I feel more comfortable knowing I have nothing to hide. I speak openly, I am able to focus on conversation, and I don't keep turning my head to look at Aurora, even if I desperately want to.

Allison looks visibly uncomfortable the entire lunch, while Juliet just sits quietly. Though Allison is still, it's as if her insides are squirming, whether from just looking at me or being in my presence, I don't know.

"Why don't you go sit with the other lesbians, Callie?" Allison asks when there's a gap in the conversation.

"Sorry?" I ask, as if I misheard her.

"Well, maybe we're just not your group of people to sit with anymore. Maybe you'd just feel more comfortable over there."

I realize she's uncomfortable with me sitting here.

"But you guys are my friends. Why would I go sit with people I barely know?"

"Yeah, Callie's fine sitting here," Hazel argues. "You can move if you want, Allison."

"I'm not moving," she argues.

The comments she's been making are just slightly homophobic, but still frustrating enough to piss me off. In a way, I wish she would come right out and say she's uncomfortable with me being gay, so that way we could merely just cut this thing off before tensions run too high. Even earlier today, Juliet asked if I ever had a crush on her or anyone in the friend group, to which I quickly retorted, no, and that I find comments like those offensive. She hasn't said much to me since I told her off.

When the bell does ring, I pull Abigail and Hazel aside as Allison and Juliet go off.

"Hey, you guys mind backing me up when she says stuff like that?" I ask. "I appreciate what you said to her today, Hazel."

"Of course," Abigail agrees.

"To be fair, we were never friends with Allison. We made her our friend through you. You're our first priority," Hazel assures me.

"Thank you both," I tell them. "I really appreciate it."

"Of course, Callie. I'm not letting anyone spew homophobic bullshit at you," Hazel assures me as she heads off to her own class. Abigail, meanwhile, lingers near me.

"Isn't your class that way?" I wonder.

"Do you want to grab coffee after school today?" Abigail asks. "I want to talk some more."

I frown. That would be the second day that I haven't walked home with Aurora, but I feel I owe it to Abigail, especially after blowing her off so much when she's been questioning my thoughts and feelings for months. I nod, then before class, send a quick text to Aurora, apologizing that I won't be able to walk home with her today.

I expect to find her at Calculus, but she is surprisingly absent. I look over at Brooke, who sits only a few seats away from me.

"Is Aurora here today?" I ask Brooke.

"She had a doctor's appointment. I think she said she'd be back for the last class of the day," Brooke says. "Need me to tell her something?"

"No. Just curious," I murmur, disappointedly turning to my notebook. It really seems the universe doesn't want us to meet these days.

At my locker at the end of the day, Abigail meets me instead of Aurora. I still keep my eyes scanned for those red curls, but Abigail is walking fast, not allowing me time to really stop and scan. We head out the gates of school, to the coffee shop Aurora and I sometimes frequent. Abigail doesn't bring up any interesting topic of conversation while we're actually walking, which makes me wonder why she even invited me to go get a drink.

After we get our drinks, Abigail finds a table outside, a bit more secluded from everyone else, near some lush trees that create a pleasant shade for us to sit in under the spring sun.

"I figure people won't eavesdrop over here," Abigail says.

I nod, quietly taking a seat and sipping on my drink.

"What's really going on?" Abigail asks me.

"What do you mean? I told you all what was going on," I tell her.

Abigail eyes me strangely. "Come on, Callie. That can't be all. For example, why did you come out? You were acting strange for weeks before this, not to mention, the Valentine's Day thing. I didn't want to bring it up earlier, because while I love Hazel, she's can be a bit too pushy. I thought you might be more comfortable talking just to me."

"True. I guess it's good Hazel didn't come along," I admit.

"So, are you going out with anyone?"

I tap my finger against my cup in a rhythmic pattern while avoiding eye contact. "Not really."

"Not really isn't no," Abigail says.

I don't know why, but I feel the tears gathering up again. I let out a choked sound before I can stop myself and cover my eyes, suppressing tears. Abigail reaches forward and grabs my arm, alarmed.

"Shoot, sorry! Was it something I said? Maybe I'm not better than Hazel. I just pushed you to share things you didn't want to, didn't I?" Abigail asks.

"No, it's fine," I say, taking the napkin she offers to me and using it as a tissue. I wipe a few tears from my eyes and speak. "Sorry. My household has still been awkward, and now school is turning into a mess, too."

"Things will work out. I know you don't want to leave Allison and Juliet behind, but it may be for the best."

I nod, knowing she's right, though it's still a difficult decision. I blow my nose once more, finding myself quivering. Telling my siblings about my romantic life was different. They don't attend school with me. They don't really know Aurora that well. And better yet, they don't know anyone at my school that they could tell.

"I'm kind of and kind of not dating Aurora Gray right now," I finally admit after a moment of silence.

Abigail's eyes widen. "Shit! I didn't think you'd admit something like that right off the bat."

"No. It's fine. It feels nice telling someone, I guess. The only other people I've told are my siblings," I say. I take another sip of my drink.

"So the Valentine's Day thing..."

"That—that wasn't what you were thinking," I admit to her. "I realized I liked her around Christmastime, but we were just friends at the time. I didn't even want to become that close to her. Because first it was just studying, and then we started walking home together, and then it was hanging outside of school, and then...I was so mad at myself when I realized I liked her."

"How come?"

"It was like I couldn't allow myself to like her or something. I don't know. So I tried to ignore it. Which didn't really work."

Abigail laughs a bit at this.

"She invited me out for Valentine's Day, not the other way around, and it was just going to be a mutual hangout. We went to the movies and just went to get a lowkey dinner afterwards. I kissed her on the cheek when we left. I felt so embarrassed and was about to beat myself up about ruining our relationship on the car ride home, but then she...she grabbed onto my shoulders and kissed me."

Abigail's eyes widen. "Just like that?"

"I was really surprised," I admit. My fingers close tighter around my warm cup of hot chocolate. "I really didn't think she liked me that way."

"Is she a lesbian?"

"She's bi. But please don't spread that around!" I tell her.

"But you're not dating?"

"It's complicated," I grumble.

"You both like each other though, don't you?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, we do...couple things. I've held her hand, and we've cuddled, and I've kissed her too many times to count. I even spent the night at her house..."

Abigail gasps.

"Why does everyone think that means something when it doesn't?!" I exclaim. "We didn't do anything."

"Wow, Callie, I really had no idea any of this was happening," Abigail admits. "You really have been having a scandalous love life."

I roll my eyes. "But...it's hard," I finally say. "She's not out. She doesn't want to be out, not when she's close to graduating, so she won't say that we're officially dating. We still kiss and stuff in private, but...there's not much else than that."

"Have you told her you want to be her girlfriend?" Abigail asks.

I nod. "I understand where she's coming from. I really do. I tried to get her to go to prom with me, but she was against that, too. So...without thinking much, I decided to come out, I guess, because I thought that would help."

"Has she come out since?"

"Uh...she doesn't know I've come out yet. I strangely haven't seen her since last week for various reasons," I admit.

"I bet it's hard," Abigail states. "I can see both sides. You both want to be happy, but you don't want to risk losing your relationships with others because of it. I really admire you for being brave enough to come out, Callie. I know it hasn't been easy."

"Not at all," I admit. "I don't know what doing that means for my relationship, but I just hope, one day, I can officially date Aurora. I hate living in limbo like this."

"It's funny seeing you all flustered," Abigail teases.

"Shut up," I grumble. "But you really can't tell anyone, Abigail. I don't trust many people with those details."

"You have my word, and if you decide to tell Hazel, she'll have your back. I'm sure she'd already start making wedding plans," Abigail teases.

"We've only been 'dating' for a month or so," I tell Abigail. "Don't get ahead of yourself."

"I said Hazel would do that, not me." Abigail pauses to take a sip of her drink. She sets the cup down slowly, and looking up at the sky, she states, "You know. I envy you."

"Huh?"

"I brought you here because I have something to tell you, too," Abigail admits. I can see her tapping her fingers impatiently. They shake slightly, like mine did at the dinner table last week. I realize she's nervous. "I'm demisexual."

"Oh. Is that all?" I ask.

"What did you think I was going to say?!"

"I don't know," I admit, laughing some. "It just seemed more serious, not that your sexuality isn't, as I would know, but..."

"I wish I could know what's it's like to have crushes and be in love like that. I'm sure I'll get there one day, but it's hard for me. For years I've struggled with the concept of falling in love, and I think once I did my research and found something that described me, my life started to make more sense. So I really am quite jealous of you," Abigail says.

"I think eventually, you'll meet someone who you'll be comfortable enough to fall in love with," I tell her. "Don't sell yourself short. To be fair, I never planned to like Aurora. I actually liked someone else when I met her." I regret saying those words as soon as they pass through my lips.

"What? Who?!"

"Uh..."

"You can't say that and not tell me who," Abigail argues.

"Isabella Sandoval," I admit quietly.

"Oh, really? Well, now that I think about it, you did act kind of weird around her at times. I wouldn't have really guessed though," Abigail admits.

"Don't share that either!"

"I'm going to tell the whole world!" she teases. Smiling, Abigail lowers her gaze. "Thanks for meeting up with me, Callie."

"No, thanks for talking to me. I'm sorry I was keeping things from you earlier. It wasn't that I didn't trust you..."

"I understand. You had a lot going on," Abigail says. Wringing her hands together, she stretches her arms and stands. "Well, I'll let you get to your homework. Thanks for hanging out with me today."

"Of course. See you tomorrow," I say.

As we leave, I feel a little lighter and a little happier having one of my friends know about Aurora and me. I freeze, not sure if Aurora will like this, but I suppose I won't tell her unless she asks. As I head home, alone once more, I look forward to the next day, when then I will hopefully be able to walk home with Aurora once again.