TW: Homophobia

I do not want to spoil the contents of this chapter before you read them, but this chapter does include some mild homophobia in response to a coming out scene. I understand for some of my LGBTQIA+ readers that this may be difficult for you to read (it was difficult for me to write, believe me. Did not like returning to those feelings). I encourage you to skim or skip this chapter if these feelings are still very raw for you. Stay safe and know you are loved <3

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Everyone has gone quiet and deathly still. There must be a mixture of emotions, though at the moment, they all appear as shock.

"You're kidding," Olivia says first, blinking in disbelief. She doesn't appear to be upset though. There's only surprise in her tone.

I shake my head, afraid whatever words I speak will cause tears to flow. I can already feel a lump in my throat that makes it hard to swallow. Everyone seems flabbergasted, though I can see the realization setting into Oliver's eyes. It's my mother's reaction that scares me the most, because while initially her eyes are widened and her fork drops in surprise, her brows are now furrowed.

"Come on, Callie. You can't be serious," my mother says.

"I am serious!" I argue. Whatever tears that were threatening to arise in me are long gone. Because out of all the courage it took to make my truth known, I didn't want the first words to pass through my family's mouth to be questions of disbelief.

"When did you figure this all out?" my father asks calmly.

"Slowly, probably since I was an underclassman. I only came to accept it recently," I murmur.

"You shouldn't say things about yourself like that," my mother states. "Just because you haven't dated a boy doesn't mean—"

"Why do I need to date a boy to know?!" I exclaim.

"But girls think other girls are pretty. I'm not sure why you've mistaken that for being gay, but--" my mother continues.

"Mom," Oliver warns, because he can see that now I'm getting visibly upset.

"That's not the same, Mom! What I mean is that I've had romantic feelings for multiple girls over the past couple years," I argue.

I can see the tears gathering in my mother's eyes. She's upset. Or frustrated. Or both. I knew she would be, and I knew she'd be the wild card, but I didn't expect her to deny it all so quickly.

"You're just a bit confused, that's all..."

"I'm not confused!" I argue, standing up and slamming my utensils down. "My feelings are real, and I know they're real because I'm sick of hiding them."

"You're too young to understand all of this," my mother says. She's avoiding eye contact now, blinking away her tears.

"Then, when is an acceptable age? If I told you I was straight, it wouldn't matter how old I was. I am attracted to women, Mom, and what I would have really liked telling you all of that was some goddamn support," I state. I slam my chair into the table and head up the steps, ignoring the calls from my family members as I head up to my room. I make sure to slam the door, and then I collapse on my bed, immediately beginning to cry into the pillow.

I should have known this would happen. I'm not sure why I was expecting a sunshine and rainbows, with my mother offering to bake me a cake, and the whole family hugging me while we sang kumbaya to each other. I grab onto my phone, wanting to call Aurora, but it's a Friday night, and I don't want to bother her with my troubles. After all, we aren't "officially dating."

A few hours pass, and that's when a quiet knock comes at my door. I ignore it, only turning around when four paws jump onto my bed. Fry is showering me in kisses, and despite my intentions to stay mad, I giggle a little bit all the same. Still, I keep my back turned to the door, even as it shuts.

"Cal, sweetie," I hear my father say, his hand beginning to rub on my back. I hold tears in, glad it's just him and not my mother. "Will you turn around?" he asks.

I slowly sit up, rubbing a few tears from my eyes. "Do you still love me?" I ask.

"Of course," my father says, leaning forward to wrap me in a hug. I cry for a little bit into his arms, finding comfort in the way he strokes my back and how Fry nudges his head against mine. "Listen," he says. "It doesn't matter. I don't care, okay? I'm sorry you had to keep that inside you so long."

"But Mom—she's upset, and she's going to kick me out and—"

"No, no, no, no," my father cuts me off, shaking his head as he says so. "She's upset, Callie. I won't deny it. I think you just shocked her. You shocked all of us, actually. And I know she's a bit more conservative out of all of us, but she still loves you. Just give her some time."

"I don't want to talk to her," I grumble.

"I won't force you to. I think she needs some time apart as well. But please, just be civil to each other when you do. I know you two have some...issues...but I think communicating with her eventually will help. She didn't mean to make you this upset," my father tells me.

"I don't want to see her tonight."

"Fine, but you can't hide from her all weekend," he tells me.

"I know," I murmur.

My father's thumb traces across my tear-stained cheek, and he smiles at me. "Things will get better, okay? Just give it some time."

I nod, watching tearfully as he and Fry leave. I barely get another half hour to myself before there's another knock at the door.

"Callie, can I come in?" Oliver asks from behind the door.

I weakly call out for him to enter, knowing I still look like a mess even if I've been crying less. He frowns when he sees me and slowly approaches my bed.

"Is that what you were stressing about?" he asks.

I nod slowly.

"Do you want a hug?" he asks.

I nod once more, immediately beginning to cry again as soon as he hugs me.

"I'd been planning all week to come out," I say through tears. "Because I was sick of living in secret, but..." I sniffle, blowing into a tissue that Oliver has brought for me. "I wonder if I made a mistake."

"I'm sorry about Mom," Oliver says.

"Mom doesn't understand how I feel," I grumble. "She doesn't understand how much I hated this side of myself for so long. All I wanted a little support, but she just reminds me of myself, saying all of that."

"I don't think she knew how to handle it," Oliver says. "If you just told her—"

"I don't know if she'd listen," I complain.

"Callie, if you don't talk to her—"

"I know. Dad already told me the same," I say.

"Look, if Mom keeps saying stuff like that, I'll stick up for you, okay?" Oliver promises.

I tearfully nod.

"So...are you dating someone right now?" Oliver asks, smirking at me.

I dryly gulp. "N-Not really..."

"It's that girl, isn't it? The one you brought here. The one whose house you spent the night at last week. What was her name? Aurora?"

"Oliver, shush," I say.

"So there is something going on," he guesses. There's a sly smile on his face. It pisses me off, but it helps me feel an emotion greater than grief at the moment.

"I don't want to get into all the details, but yes, we're...well, we're somewhat of a couple. It's hard because everything is so private..."

"But you like her?"

"Of course I do," I state adamantly.

"Does she like you?"

"Yes, I mean, we've kissed and such," I murmur quietly, twiddling my fingers together as I admit it.

"So when you spent the night..."

"W-We didn't do anything!" I tell him, my voice rising a few octaves. "Oliver, please don't mention it to Mom and Dad. If they find out I like her, they might not allow me to visit as much, and she's someone I really need in my life right now so..."

Oliver grins. "I won't tell. I just wish you'd have told me sooner."

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell the family together," I admit. "I'll tell them about Aurora eventually, but for now, I'm trying to keep it quiet. She's not out either."

"I understand. I'm going to bed now. I'm sure things will be better in the morning," he promises. I want to believe him, but at the moment, I'm not sure I can.

I barely sleep that night, kept awake by my anxious thoughts on how my life will change now. My room, my home, feels foreign now that there's been a forge in my family's bond, one that I am responsible for. I spend the night thinking, crying, and continually considering calling Aurora until my body eventually finds itself exhausted enough to fall asleep.

When I wake in the morning, my first instinct is to get up and eat breakfast, but at the moment, I don't feel like seeing any of my family members. I get up to use the bathroom, just to share with them that I'm awake, but I head back into my room immediately afterward, guessing I'll begin on some homework.

My thoughts linger to calling Aurora, or at least shooting her a text, but I think more and more of how I don't want to bother her with my troubles, and how, in reality, I don't want to speak to anyone at the moment.

Unfortunately, I can barely hide from anyone forever, because it's less than a half hour after I awake that I get a knock on my door. I ignore it at first, before the voice finally makes its identity known.

"Callie?" It's Olivia, I realize. At first I am relieved that it isn't my mother, and then I remember that Olivia didn't make the effort to visit me last night, that she seemed as surprised as my mother by what I had to say.

"Yeah?" I ask, not turning my gaze from my work as she opens the door.

"Um, I'm sorry," she tells me. A rare word to escape from her mouth. One that I would appreciate if I knew what exactly she was apologizing for.

"Sorry for what?" I grumble.

"I was really rude to you," Olivia admits. "Always asking you about boy stuff and making fun of the fact you didn't have a boyfriend and all that."

I blink. "Oh. It's okay. It's not like you knew," I admit.

"Still..."

"It's okay. If anything, maybe it taught you to hold your tongue more," I tease.

"I just always wanted a sister I could do boy talk with," Olivia admits. "I think I was mad that I wasn't able to do that."

"Well, just because I'm not interested in boys, doesn't mean we still can't talk about relationship stuff," I suggest to her. "It won't be what you originally had in mind, but..."

"So...do you like anyone?" Olivia asks.

I glance back at my notebook, pretending to be looking over notes. "I...uh..."

"You do!" Olivia exclaims excitedly.

"Sh! Mom and Dad will overhear," I warn her.

"Who is it?" Olivia asks.

I grumble. It's one thing trusting Oliver with my love life details, but I'm not so sure if I feel comfortable telling Olivia about Aurora, especially with her tendency to blab about everything that she hears.

"Come on, Callie!"

"N-No. I don't need to tell you," I murmur.

"But you just said—"

"If I tell you, then you can't repeat anything, you swear?" I warn her. "Not to your friends at school, and especially not to Mom and Dad."

"You keep my secrets from Mom and Dad, so I think that's fair," Olivia says. "And I...I wouldn't. I want to make it up to you, after all."

Olivia acting sweet? A concept, I think. I appreciate her efforts though and suppose I'll give her just a little bit to go off in order to keep her happy and her interest maintained.

"Uh, you remember that girl I briefly brought by here to study a little while ago?"

Olivia pauses for a moment, then her eyes widen. "Her?!"

"Shhh," I say again.

Olivia nods, and lowering her voice, asks, "I see. So how's it going? Have you told her you liked her?"

"Um, we're...we're kind of in an unofficial relationship right now," I murmur.

"Have you kissed her?" Olivia continues.

I'm silent on my part, feeling the flush gathering on my cheeks. I didn't realize how embarrassing it would be to talk about all this. I merely make a sound in response to Olivia's question that could mean anything, but she seems to get it.

"Really, Callie?! Jeez, you're a lot less sheltered than I thought," she admits. "How come you got your first kiss before me? It's no fair."

"Okay, that's enough, I think," I say, standing up and beginning to shove her out of the room.

"Aw, but Callie—"

"That's all I'm saying today. Go do your homework for once," I say, shutting the door behind her. I let out a sigh, though I smile some as I hear Olivia walk away. It's good to know my siblings don't mind much and that they're even excited to hear me talk about my romantic life. I'm sure Olivia is at least happy in knowing I will not die an old maid now.

Another knock at the door startles me, and suddenly, the mood sinks when I hear the voice calling from outside. It's my mother. Immediately, I feel like I need to put myself on the defensive. Because I am mostly staying in my room to avoid seeing her.

"Can we talk?" she asks.

I open the door and angrily sit on my bed, crossing my arms. She looks as if she hasn't slept well either, but I ignore that fact.

"What?" I ask.

"Come on. Don't be mad," she begins. "I just wanted to talk to you for a bit."

"What? For you to still tell me I'm confused?" I ask, refusing eye contact with her. I know my father would want me to have a civil conversation with her, but for the time being, all I can do is seethe in anger when I think of the way she treated me last night.

"No, I just...I'm confused. You don't...strike me as someone like that," my mother admits.

Already, the anger is starting to seethe through me again.

"I don't need to fit stereotypes, Mom!" I argue.

I can see tears coming to my mom's eyes now. "You just never really showed any signs, and I wanted grandkids, and—"

"Mom, I can still do that," I say, my voice growing a little softer. I take a deep breath, doing my best to compose myself. "But I...I'm not confused, Mom. I like girls. I'm sorry. I can't change that. Because, believe me, I tried, and it didn't make me happy. Right now, I feel the most confident I have in a while, and I'd really appreciate some support because of that."

"I'm sorry," my mother says. "This is all new and confusing to me, and I need some time. But I'm not--your father talked to me. I wouldn't kick you out or anything, Callie. Be reasonable. You're still my first baby, and I love you."

I don't have the courage to say anything in response. She leans forward to hug me, but I keep my arms to my side. A part of me is angry at myself for not showing her any affection, but I think for now, this is a good boundary to have. My mother and I have never seen eye to eye. This situation has clearly shown so.

When my mother leaves my room, I don't feel we've really made up. We've just agreed to try to tolerate each other for now, I think.

I sit back on my bed, letting out another sigh. This weekend has been strange, upsetting, and overall rotten, but then I see that Aurora has texted me asking a Calculus question, and I smile some. This weekend has been the hardest of my life, but I think, in the end, it'll be worth it.