True to her word, Aurora invites me over for a sleepover only a week after her birthday has passed. I stand awkwardly in my room, my heart beating rapidly, my throat parched, and my body slightly shaking as she suggests the idea. When I slept over at her house at New Year's, that was different because we weren't a couple yet, and I didn't have the slightest comprehension that she even liked me.

When Aurora notices my silence and surprise, she states on the other line, "I-I'm not suggesting anything by inviting you over! My parents are home so..."

I sigh in relief. That helps, though I'm still nervous. I'm afraid her parents might catch on, or worse, my parents might.

"Okay, then," I say. "Um, when should I come over?"

"Now, if you want."

"Are your parents okay with that?" I ask nervously, twisting my hair as I talk into the phone. I have to keep my voice down, afraid one of my siblings or parents might overhear my conversation through the door.

"We didn't have anything planned tonight. I can ask right now and then give you the okay in a few minutes if you want," Aurora suggests. Lowering her voice, she murmurs, "I just want to see you."

"O-Okay. I'll let my parents know as well," I say. With that agreement in mind, I shut my phone off and begin slowly packing my things. Because unlike last time, now I need to think about if my pajamas are cute enough, if I really need to bring a sleeping bag, how much mouthwash I should bring if we'll be kissing all night, et cetera, et cetera. I pack my typical sleepover gear, and then my phone rings with a text from Aurora, confirming it's okay with her parents.

Great. Now it's my turn.

Letting out a sigh, I open the door and find my family downstairs, waiting for dinner.

"You hungry?" my mom asks as she cooks. My siblings seem to be, as they're both rummaging through the pantry when my mom's too distracted with cooking to scold them. My father is setting the table, looking up at me.

"Um, Aurora invited me to sleep over at her house. Can I go?" I ask awkwardly, shuffling my feet.

"Weren't you just there last week?" my mother asks. I was never scolded about the late curfew, though I think she heard me coming home anyway, considering I heard her flush the toilet shortly after I got back that night. Or maybe it was my father, and he didn't want to rat me out.

"How come Callie always gets to go out on the weekends?" Olivia pouts.

"Weren't we going to play some board games tonight?" Oliver asks me. I feel badly disappointing him. I nearly forgot I promised to spend some time with him tonight. Still, I don't get invited to Aurora's that often, and I'd like to see her. We rarely get enough alone time together as it is.

"Shoot, sorry, I forgot about that," I say.

"Can you at least eat dinner with us?" my mother asks.

I can tell that this is her one requirement. Because instead of telling me outright I'm only allowed to go if I spend the dinner with the family, she likes to twist her words and manipulate me into agreeing to what she wants.

"Um, yeah, I guess I can tell her I can come over a little later," I admit.

"Nice. Maybe we can squeeze in a quick board game too," my father says, which makes Oliver happy.

I feel bad texting Aurora that it will be probably another hour and a half before I can make it over, but she seems fine with it when I text her. The whole dinner, I am anxious, eating enough so my parents won't notice I'm not that hungry, but not enough to make me feel sick. Even then, I'm mostly quiet at dinner because lately, I feel I've been holding in a big secret. It makes it uncomfortable to talk to everyone together because I feel like I'm lying to my family all the time, especially tonight, when I think of how Aurora is waiting for me.

Not wanting to let Oliver down, I manage to play a quick card game with him. It's not a board game unfortunately, but he seems satisfied nonetheless. As I head upstairs and gather my things, I notice Oliver behind me in the doorway.

"I'm sorry about the board game," I tell him. "We can play tomorrow. I promise. I won't have any plans. Trust me."

"I don't really care," he admits, his hands in his pockets. "You don't make plans that often, so you should go."

"You're right. I'm no Olivia," I tease.

"Are you okay?" Oliver asks after a pause.

I freeze and turn around. "Huh?"

"You just seem a little on edge tonight," he admits.

"Has anyone else noticed?" I ask.

"Just me, I think."

"It's just high school stuff. You can worry about that when you're in high school," I assure him. Because in a way, I'm not lying. I'm just not being completely specific.

"You're acting different than when you're stressed about grades," Oliver states.

"When it boils down to it, it's all grades," I say once more, trying to make my way toward the door before he can interrogate me anymore about my behavior.

Oliver finally submits, it seems, when he backs away. "Okay," he says, in a tone of disbelief. Great. Now my brother knows I'm acting strange, and my friends already think something is going on romantically with me. I feel this secret is going to come out sooner or later these days.

Thankfully, I finally am able to get out of the house and drive to Aurora's. I eagerly make my way up her porch. She opens the door before I can ring the doorbell, which takes me aback.

"I saw your car pull up," she explains. "You sure took a long time to get here."

"Sorry. Family stuff I couldn't get out of," I murmur.

"It's fine. I'm just kidding," she says with a wave of her hand. Her parents are cleaning the kitchen as I enter, and I assume they've just finished up their meal themselves.

"Hello again, Callie," her father says.

"The cats were excited for you to come back," her mother adds as Oscar approaches me. Aurora's mother is holding Sammy in her arms, stroking her.

I kneel down and scratch Oscar's chin, listening to him purr. "Thanks for having me over on such short notice."

"No trouble at all," Aurora's mother says. "We're probably going to head upstairs for the night, but you girls feel free to hang down here and watch a movie or something."

"Thanks," I say. Though first, I drop off my things in Aurora's room and sneak a peek in the bathroom to see how flushed my cheeks really are. And by God, are they beet red. It doesn't help I feel like I'm sweating from every pore on my body. I must be more nervous than I thought.

When I come back downstairs, Aurora is sitting on the couch with the TV on, while her parents are finishing up the last bit of cleaning in the kitchen. I head on over to her and take a seat.

"Let's find a movie to watch," she suggests, kneeling down in front of their DVD rack to look through some films. I pretend to pay attention and look through until I hear her mother peek her head into the room.

"Okay. We're off to bed. Have a good night, girls," she says.

"Thanks, Mom," Aurora says.

I continue squatting and looking through DVDs until I hear her parents' bedroom door shut upstairs. Before I can even turn to her to say anything, I feel her arms wrap around me, the force knocking me onto my bottom. Her lips begin to trace my neck. I shiver, as this is new territory for us. Her lips travel upward, to my jaw, my cheek, until eventually, she turns my face toward her with her hand and finally kisses me on the lips.

I grab a handful of her hair as I kiss her, and when we break, I shove my head into her shoulder while she gently hugs me.

"You took too long to get here," she says.

"I know. Sorry," I say. "If I didn't stay for dinner, I wasn't sure if my mom would let me come over."

"It's okay. You're here now," Aurora says.

"Did you actually want to watch a movie?" I ask. "Or were you just planning to make out with me on the floor?

Aurora giggles. "No, we can actually watch a movie. I bought some icecream too for sundaes."

"Sounds good," I say, finally pulling away from her. We talk and laugh quietly, not wanting to wake her parents as we prepare our dessert. We choose a comedy to watch, one with limited romance, thankfully, and I lean back on the couch and scoop icecream into my mouth.

"That movie we watched on your birthday was obnoxious," I state.

"I didn't think it was that bad," Aurora says as she takes a bite herself. "Though I can understand where you're coming from. Too straight, huh?"

I gag. "Horrifically so. I wish there were more LGBT movies, you know. I think it could've helped."

"Helped?"

"Oh, just accept myself more," I murmur, not wanting to lay all of that deep turmoil onto Aurora. If there's any topic I do not want to dive into tonight, it's discussing all the internalized homophobia I suffered through for years.

Aurora sets her bowl down and turns toward me, gently grabbing my chin with her fingers. I shut my eyes as her lips meet mine.

"Does that help?" she asks when she pulls away.

I nod.

After we've finished our icecream, we sit shoulder to shoulder, snuggled up in the same blanket as we watch the movie. We talk some during the beginning, but as the movie progresses, I can feel myself growing more tired, and though I try to will myself awake, eventually, my head finds a comfortable resting spot on Aurora's shoulder, and my vision fades.

The sound of credits wakes me, as well as Aurora shifting her body some.

"You awake now?" Aurora asks as I rub my eyes and lean back against the couch. I feel groggy more than anything else.

"How long was I asleep?" I murmur.

"The last forty five minutes. I didn't want to wake you though. You were being cute, all slumped against my shoulder like that," Aurora admits. "You ready for bed?"

I nod, and after a quick clean of the kitchen, we head upstairs and get into our pajamas. I sit awkwardly on my sleeping bag, not expecting an invitation into Aurora's bed, but when Aurora comes back in after using the bathroom, she pats her bed.

"You can come up here for a little bit, you know," she says.

I slowly crawl onto her bed, feeling the mattress shift under my weight. The lamp on her nightstand is on, creating a soft orange glow in her bedroom. It's barely a few seconds before we start kissing each other again. The kisses are soft and slow, lazily gifted on various parts of my face and neck. My fingers find the bracelet wrapped around her arm, and I lightly grasp onto it as we break apart and stare down at it.

"You keep this on?" I ask.

"Have you not seen me with at school?" she asks.

"You don't have to keep it on if you don't like it!" I exclaim.

"I want to keep it on," she says, leaning forward for another kiss.

I grab onto Aurora's waist, beginning to trail kisses along her neck this time. It's no surprise that the kisses' intensity is changing, because now, Aurora's hands are slipping under my shirt. I stiffen some at her touch, self-conscious of my soft rolls and stretch marks, but the feel of Aurora's fingers running up and down my backside calm me. Too caught up in the moment to think, I begin to suck and nibble on Aurora's neck, stopping only when she lets out a faint groan.

Aurora's fingers reach up to her neck as I pull away, and I freeze. I can already see a bruise forming there.

"Shit. I'm sorry," I say. "I shouldn't have done that without asking you."

"I get to give you one in return, then," Aurora says, leaning forward and beginning to nibble on my own neck. I hold her close to me, feeling warm and sweaty, but most of all, so tiredly happy. Because a year ago, I would have never let myself have this, and even a few months ago, I never thought this would be a reality.

"There. We're even," Aurora says as she pulls away. Before I have time to look at the damage, she captures my lips once more. The exhaustion is beginning to set in, so when we pull apart, I lay down on her bed, and she collapses beside me.

"Sorry. I didn't think we should get too crazy," I murmur.

"No. You're right. We need to remind each other tomorrow morning to cover those up," Aurora says, gently touching my neck where I can still feel the slight ache of the mark. "Let's just cuddle for a bit."

I nod and scoot close to her, resting my head against her chest as her arms wrap around me. I feel safe and comfortable in Aurora's arms, relaxing in the feeling of her stroking my hair and kissing my forehead every once in a while. The covers keep us enveloped in a pleasant warmth. I think I could rest like this for ages.

I place a hand on her arm and stroke up and down it before staring up at her.

"What should we do for prom?" I ask.

Aurora's fingers stop moving through my hair. "Prom?"

"Well, I just thought...if we went together..."

"We can't go officially together. The school doesn't allow female dates," Aurora states.

"I know we can't go officially, but we could still take pictures and hang out and get each other corsages and—"

"Callie, we can't," Aurora states, her voice becoming more serious. "Because then people will start asking questions."

I knew this would be her answer, but I'm still let down.

"I don't want to take one of Allison's boyfriend's friends to the dance again," I murmur.

"Then don't. We can still hang out during the dance," Aurora suggests. "Sneak away to take pictures at some point. And maybe if we find a dark corner, we can slow dance for a bit."

I nod. This is true.

"Aurora," I state, watching her look down at me. "I want to be your girlfriend."

"Callie," Aurora warns.

I slowly sit up. "No, just listen. We're already practically dating at this point, aren't we? We're doing all the things that couples do. I haven't been seeing anyone else, or thinking about anyone else. Have you?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Then, why...even if it's just in private, why can't we call each other girlfriends?" I ask adamantly.

"Because we're not dating, Callie. We're not out. We only get to do this stuff in private, and even if we did come out, can you imagine the stir that would cause at school? I don't know how my parents would react or what my friends would think and—" Aurora's voice cuts off. "I'm a senior. I have a little bit of time left, and I don't want to ruin my image right before graduation. Until we reach the stage that we can both be out, then...then this will just have to be something small for the time being."

I'm frustrated by her remarks, but I know where this is coming from. Aurora mostly likely started questioning around the time she met me, whereas I've been questioning for much longer. I suppose I understand the toll it takes when that realization is first made.

"I want to be with you," I say.

"You are with me," Aurora promises, squeezing my hand. I lean forward, giving her a short kiss. I lay back down and shut my eyes, but Aurora speaks up. "Callie, I want you to stay in bed with me, but if my parents come in to wake us up in the morning..."

I grumble.

"I'm sorry. Really."

It's not so much her kicking me out of bed that bothers me, but the fact that her points are making sense, that this private relationship has too many boundaries to count, and that we are unable to do nearly most of the things straight couples can. I sigh and sit up.

"Good night," Aurora tells me.

"Night," I murmur, missing her warmth already as I crawl back down into my sleeping bag. Aurora shuts off the lamp, and from what I can tell, she goes to sleep fairly quickly. But instead, I lay awake, staring at the ceiling again.

Aurora is right. Being closeted like this makes our relationship difficult and makes nearly everything impossible. I thought it would be years before I came out, but as I lay here now, I realize, I need to do it sooner than later. Very soon.