"Y/N?" He was shocked as I am and he was still on top of me. Neither one of us makes an attempt to move from the floor until I heard Yoongi coughing, a sign for us to snap back to reality. He quickly got up from his position and I was still dumbfounded. Scratching his head, he extended his hand at me. Trembling, I grab his hands and he helped me get up.

But I stumble a bit due to dizziness and Hoseok caught me from falling again. Both of his hands were drape around my waist.

"Easy there. Don't stand up too fast." His voice sounded so concern and I couldn't even look at him. Is this what Yoongi meant? That I'm gonna get hurt if I'm not strong enough? To tell you the truth, the minute I saw his face, my heart was shattered into a million pieces. I grabbed both of his hands from my waist and slowly make him let go of me.

"Thank you Hoseok-ssi. Please excuse me. I need to go to the washroom. You may join the rest before we start the interview." I told him politely without even looking at him because I know I'm about to break down and cry. I push him to the side and walk out from the room. I ran as fast as I can to the nearest washroom and when I reached there, I locked the door. I covered my face with both of my hands and immediately I started to cry. More like a silent cry. Pretending that I didn't know them hurts.

All these years, people think that I'm strong and happy person but today, I'm in pain and feeling broken when I saw his face. Sometimes, crying is the only way your eyes can speak when your mouth couldn't explain how heartbroken you are. Why must I meet him now when my life was about to get better? What kind of game is the universe trying to play with me? I'm not ready for any of this. For how long I have to fake everything?

"Y/N...are you in there?" I hear a gentle male voice calling my name from the outside. Thinking it was Yoongi or Joon Young, I wipe my tears away and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were puffy and I look horrible. There is no way I can conduct an interview looking like this.

Dum! Dum! Dum!

"Yahh! You better answer me or I'll break the damn door!"

Wait...that doesn't sound like my brother. Or Joon Young. Oh no! Please not him...not Hoseok. I'm not ready to talk to him personally. I'm here to finish my job assignment.

I unlocked the door and my heart almost stopped beating when I saw a tall figure was waiting in front of me. It was indeed Hoseok. I wanted to run back to the toilet but Hoseok grab my hands and drag me to a dressing room across the hallway since it was secluded. I tried to snatch my hands away from his grip but failed since he was stronger than me. Once we were inside the room, he closes the door and lock it with his left hand.

Without asking my permission, he cupped my face and gave me a deep, intense passionate kiss. It happened too fast and I didn't have time to react. I was too confused and couldn't think straight. I was being pushed against the wall as he continued kissing me, making me weak and he was quick enough to hold me so that I didn't collapse on the floor.

I miss him. I miss his kisses...his touch...everything about him but this is so wrong in so many ways! I shouldn't be doing this. I mean we shouldn't be doing this. He's an idol and I'm a writer and a sister to one of his group members. We're no longer attached to each other.

But here I am being helpless and I even replied his kisses. And I know if I didn't stop him, we might end up making love in this room and that is the last thing I want it to happen. When he started to unbutton my shirt, I pushed him away and the both of us just stared at each other. Horrified with his action, he released me from his grip and I slumped down on the floor with my both hands covered my chest.

"What...have I done?" he blurted out with full regret. I didn't even look at him and my lips were numb because of the steamy make out session. Part of me regret it but the other part of me wished that he didn't stop.

"This is a mistake. I...I...shouldn't do that. I was not supposed to kiss you back." My eyes were covered with tears. I covered my mouth to stop myself from weeping but I couldn't.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...it's my fault too...I...I...couldn't control myself...I...I miss you...so much..." I was being pulled in a warm embrace. It makes me cry even more. All the precious flashback started to replay at the back of my mind. How he would comfort me after we had a fight. How I would pampered him with kisses whenever he was down. How we always have each other's when we had a bad day. Those memories came back and it hurts me so much because that was in the past. We have to face the reality that things can never go back like we used to be.

"This is gonna be the last time Hoseok. It will never happen again." God my heart was aching when I say those words. And I know he was in pain too because I could hear he was sobbing.

But will it be the last time?

I returned to the interview room after Hoseok left me and I put a smile on face, trying to hide the sorrow in my heart and I have to act professional in front of them, especially my brother. I manage to touch up since I was in a dressing room and found some make up.

Put that smile on your face Y/N and pretend that everything was okay.

"Hey everyone. Sorry for the delay. I have a stomach ache. Must be something I ate during breakfast." My words makes them all laugh but I can sense Hoseok and Yoongi knows I was faking it but I don't care. I must finish this interview and get out from this place.

"And we're sorry for the trouble caused by our late member." That dimple guy bowed at me politely.

"Ahhh it's okay. So can we start the interview now?" I smiled at each and every one of them and they all looked excited for the interview.

"2! 3! Anyeonghaseyo Bangtan Sonyeondan inmida!"

The 3 of us clapped our hands and Sun Hee was the loudest.

"I'm RM, the leader of this group." He smiled politely.

"Hello, I'm Jin, the eldest and the most handsome member in BTS." He gave us a flying kiss and a wink.

Sun Hee let out a tiny inhuman scream, and I almost wanted to laugh because she is trying so hard not to fangirling and maintaining her professionalism. I mean her favourite person is in front of her. Who wouldn't go crazy?

"I'm Min Suga. Nice to meet you." He gave us a nod and his signature gummy smile.

I rolled my eyes with my brother's introduction. Can he be more energetic?

"I'm Park Jimin. But in BTS, I'm known as Jimin, and I have a cute eye-smile." he let out a cheeky smile.

He still has the same smile like years ago but now he has become more charismatic and sexy.

"I'm Jeon Jungkook but people call me Jungkook. I'm the maknae" he gave us an innocent smile and honestly, me and Sun Hee kinda melted.

"I'm V and I'm in charge of being V. My real name is Kim Taehyung." He smiled at us and for the love of god I wanna adopt him because he is so adorable! He has a face of a 12 year old kid but a voice of an old man!

Finally, the last member to introduce himself. Although I knew a lot about him, but I'm feeling anxious about him. My eyes were fixed on him and he gave me a heart warming smile like a ray of sunshine.

"Hello. I'm your hope. You're my hope. I'm J-Hope. Nice to meet you."

Really Hoseok?? That was the cheesiest introduction among them all but it was cute and adorable at the same time! He's really gonna kill thousands of fangirls out there *including me who witness this live*. Lord please have mercy on my soul! And of all the name, he uses J-Hope. Somehow that name fits him well with his personality.

Then, it was time for us to introduce ourselves. Usually I'm the one who's gonna introduced the team but today, I'm gonna let Sun Hee do the job. I gave her a nod and she seems surprised. Clearing her throat, she stood up and introduced us.

"My name is Choi Sun Hee. This is my team members, Min Y/N and Song Joon Young. We're from the Daebak Magazine. Nice to meet all of you. I hope we can work together to make this interview enjoyable and memorable. I like this interview to be much more casual. Treat us like your friends and be yourself." Sun Hee smiled warmly at them and it seems they're okay with that.

"Sun Hee-ssi, you're so pretty." V casually complimented her and earn her a blush on her face. I can hear Jin scolded him for being too casual but we didn't mind at all. We prefer it this way. At least it wasn't so awkward.

"I like Y/N-ssi better." Jimin chimed in and Namjoon smack his head, making him winced in pain. Many times he and Jin apologized to us for their group members behaviors. My stomach hurts so much from laughing. We asked them the questions that most of the fans were curious about and they answer everything diligently and sometimes too honest.

Namjoon admitted that he watches porn, Yoongi can sleep 20 hours straight (I'm not surprised at all), Jimin showed us his abs (yummy! LOL!), Jungkook loves collecting perfume, Jin is talented in cooking, V is being called alien because he is so weird but in an adorable way, and J-Hope hates doing aegyo but he changes his mind for the sake of the fans.

They even show us their personal talent including Jimin, Jungkook and J-Hope girl group dance. Goshh this brings back to the past again when I saw them dancing at Hongdae Street and I'm watching it again now. Some things never change.

My God! If they keep on continuing being like this, I'm gonna have a long day. But seriously, they were so funny!

I also noticed how passionate they were when they talked about their album called Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa which means The Most Beautiful Moment in Life Part 1 and 2. From the album, each members explain the story behind every song title and how hard they work on the songs especially RM, Suga and J-Hope who was responsible for the lyrics. They even recommended which song was the best and Suga as usual will shamelessly promoting his song.

"This is the last question. But it's quite personal. Has any of you experience being in love before?" Sun Hee's last question makes me stop breathing for a moment. I know it wasn't her intention but that question slapped me right in the face.

Out of all the people, J-Hope raises his hands and I can see Yoongi and Joon Young was eyeing on him with a serious expression on their faces. Me on the other hand, I tried my best to hide my emotions.

"Back in the days before I debut, I have a girlfriend that I love so much. She was my first love. We've dated for 3 years."

I gulped when he started to spill his past. I look at him in the eyes and I can see he was hurting so much but he hides it behind that gorgeous smile.

"So what happened between the 2 of you?" Sun Hee asked him again.

"Unfortunately we broke up. She left me for another man."

My blood started boiling when I heard his last answer. I DID NOT LEFT HIM FOR ANOTHER MAN! It was a huge misunderstanding! Clenching my hands into a fist, I almost wanted to punch him in the face but I calm myself down and the most sensible thing to do now is keep a straight face and pretending not to be affected by his story.

"Oh I'm so sorry about that. You must be having a hard time dealing with the break up."

Hoseok laugh and he keeps on looking at me but I avoided his eye contact by pretending to write down the details in my notebook.

"Well...it's a lie if I say I didn't have a hard time but how I wish I could turn back the time. Maybe there's an explanation for everything. If I'm able to meet her again, I really wanted to hear the truth from her."

"About why she left you for another man? Why? Don't you think you'll get hurt even more?" Sun Hee ask him curiously.

"Because...she's not like that. But at that time, I was too blinded by jealousy."

What the hell Hoseok? What are you talking about? Why are you doing this? Even his group members were surprised because he never told them about his past relationship.

"If she's right in front of you now, what will you do? What are you gonna say to her?"

That questions was not in the list! I mentally screamed to myself! And Sun Hee knew it too but she also wanted to know Hoseok's answer.

"I will say how much I still love her and I will forgive her if she explains everything to me. It is okay if things didn't work out between us in the past but I hope we can do something about it." He sounded really serious about it even though he put on a goofy smile.

OH MY GOD! DID JUNG HOSEOK JUST SAY THAT?? Did he really meant every single word or it was just part of fan service? Either way, his words are really convincing.

"Do you still have feelings for her until today?" Sun Hee still shot him with more questions and I really want her to stop tormenting Hoseok about his past because I was hurt too at the same time.

"What do you think?" He giggled and Sun Hee just smiled at him, knowing he didn't want to answer it anymore.

"Don't worry. That questions is off record and we won't featured in the magazine."

Good job for covering up Sun Hee.

Once we're done with the group photos and the interview, the 3 of us say goodbye to them. The best part is we were given their latest album personally being autographed by the members and of course, Sun Hee was the happiest since she got herself a selca with Jin and she thanked me for giving the opportunity to conduct the interview.

Well, I know how badly she likes the group so I don't mind really. Plus, my mood was in a big mess so rather than spoiling the whole interview, I rather gave it to her and she really did a great job! Even the boys are comfortable with her.

Joon Young didn't say much during the whole interview. His kept his distance when the boys trying to shake hands with him. Hoseok didn't even spare a single glance at him either. Yoongi managed to gave me a quick hug without anyone realising it before I left the room.

"Y/N noona!"

I stop walking when familiar voices calling my name. I told Joon Young and Sun Hee to go first. After they left, Jungkook and Jimin didn't waste any time to attack me with a group hug and I was sandwiched between them.

"I...can't...breathe.." I tapped the both of them at their shoulders and they immediately release me.

"I knew it from the beginning that it was you. My instinct were never wrong." Jungkook squishes my cheek, making me muffled alien languages and he laughs at my funny facial expressions.

"I recognized you too."

"But you're so mean. How could you pretended that you didn't know us?" Jimin pouted, pretending to sulk.

"Aigoo..Jimin-ah~ I have to do that for the sake of my job. Forgive me okay?" I put both of my hands together, asking for forgiveness and Jimin shot me his famous eye smile that makes my heart melt. How can I not resist his cuteness?

"Honestly, I am so proud with all of you. You've worked so hard to deliver good music. Keep up the good work and please be healthy. I know you wanted to give the best for your fans but you need to take care of your health as well.
Tell the rest of your hyungs to take care alright?" I placed my hands on their shoulder and give them a gentle squeeze.

"Does that include Hoseok-hyung too?" Jungkook asked me innocently and I nodded my head.

"Okay noona. We'll tell them. And when will we ever see you again?" Jimin ask me. I shrugged with a heavy heart.

"Who knows when we will cross path again. But until then, take care alright? I really have to go now. Send my regards to the rest okay?" I give them both a hug.

"Please don't skip your meal Y/N." My body stiffen upon hearing the other voice that obviously does not belong to Jungkook or Jimin. The 2 boys immediately leave us alone in order to give us some privacy.

"I won't. Don't worry. Anyway, goodbye, Hoseok." A broken smile was clearly can be seen on my face and I turn around and begin to walk away. Hoseok somehow ran after me and before I reach the main entrance he gave me a back hug.

"Hoseok...please...don't do this...what if you get caught? We're not like we used to be. It's over between us. I left you for another man remember?" my voice cracked as I tried not to cry again.

"I meant what I said during the interview." He rested his chin on my shoulder with his hands around my waist. His lips lingers on my neck making my breath hitches.

"Too late Hoseok. You have your own path to live and the same goes for me. No matter how much we have feelings for each other, things are not going to be the same anymore." I could feel tears are building and it won't take long before I'll break down again.

"Y/N please. We can still work things out." He begged me but I can't do this anymore. It was too painful for me to handle.

"We can't Hoseok. I'm sorry. Please let me go now. You're gonna be late for your next schedule."

"I'm not gonna give up easily Y/N. Not especially after I meet you again." He loosen his grip from me but before he letting me go, he kisses my forehead.

I froze up for a while, giving him one last look, I took a step back and walk out from the building without even looking back at him. But his words were stuck in my mind.

My mind was so messed up right now and my emotions were also unstable. There's too many things going on in one day and it's enough to drive me insane. The warmth of his lips leaves a mark on my skin.

Hoseok...Jung Hoseok...that name rings again and again in my mind. After all these years, I thought my feelings at him were no longer there but today, it has proven me the opposite. I still love him and it hurts me so much when he says I left him for another man.

He wanted an explanation after all these years. He had his chance long ago.The damage has already been done.What difference does it make? I can no longer be with him. But my heart is aching for him and I do feel like we both need a proper closure so we could move on with our lives.

I'm sorry Hoseok. I can't no longer be with you.

Author's note:
Hello there my lovely readers. I'm sorry for being hiatus because I was so busy with work. Korea was great. I'm still feeling sad for not being able to be at the venue during BTS final concert because I was in Jeju Island.

In fact, today is my 2nd last day in Seoul and I'm going back tomorrow night. I decided to update since it's been a while.

Again, thank you for your support and if this chapter seems a bit mehh, I apologise since I haven't write for almost 2 weeks. 🙈🙈

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖