▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

CHAPTER EIGHTY FIVE- 🍂୧ we. . .
can't save everyone ও🦌

AS ACTIVE MEMBERS OF THE ORDER, Raven, Sirius, Peter, and Remus had been keeping quiet about the state of affairs within the organization, out of concern that if Autumn and James learned about the chaos and tension, they might be persuaded to rejoin sooner than planned.

None of the friends wanted this, and they silently wished that Autumn and James could spend more time with their daughter without worrying about the war.

They knew how important it was for their friends to have a peaceful and happy time with Aspen, especially since she was only half a year old.

The thought of Autumn and James getting caught up in the mess of the war again was something they were all hesitant to encourage.

But, at the same time, they also knew the value of having Autumn and James back in the Order. Their magical skills and experience would undoubtedly be an asset. Balancing this knowledge with their personal feelings was a difficult task for them.

The Order was desperate for any sort of assistance. With Lily's disappearance and Fenwick's unfortunate death, they were in dire need of strong and skilled wizards. The return of the Potters, despite the personal sacrifices that came with it, was a valuable addition to their roster.

Once James and Autumn had settled back into headquarters, James quickly fell back into routine, teaming up with his old comrades in the Order: Sirius, Moody, and Fletcher. He felt a familiar sense of comradery as they worked together, the tension between them lessening with each task they tackled.

Meanwhile, Autumn found herself back with the Prewett brothers, resuming her partnership with them. It was as if the months away from the Order had never happened.

With her hand almost in a trance-like state, Autumn began to draw. Sketches of various locations appeared on the paper, but as she looked closer, her stomach soured. She realized that the sketches were not just random scenes—they were pieces of Fenwick's body. Pieces that the Order had been unable to locate after his murder.

The feeling of unease and nausea washed over her as she stared at the moving drawings before her. It was a gruesome reminder of the reality of the situation they were facing.

As Autumn stared at the sketches on the page, her mind was filled with a mix of guilt and resignation. She knew that her absence could have saved Fenwick's life, but at the same time, her foresight was never an absolute assurance of survival. There were still too many variables and too many ways that things could go wrong.

She felt the weight of responsibility and helplessness all at once. If only she had been there, if only she had seen the danger coming just a little earlier, maybe she could have prevented his death.

But, she reminded herself, she couldn't blame herself for everything. Her foresight was not infallible, and trying to save everyone was an impossible task. The guilt still lingered, but she knew that she could not dwell on it too much, or it would consume her.

When news of Autumn's sketches reached the rest of the Order, there was a mix of reactions. Those who knew Fenwick the best were grateful for the find, but also deeply saddened by the manner in which his remains were found. Some were horrified by the very sight of the sketches, while others felt sympathy for Autumn, having to draw such gruesome scenes.

Gideon and Fabian stood by Autumn's side, doing whatever they could to comfort her. They were the first to understand the gravity of the sketches before Autumn herself did.

James, upon seeing his wife's distraught expression, felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude towards the Prewett brothers. He knew that they were doing everything they could to support her, and he was glad that she had such good friends by her side.

Meanwhile, Moody, Bones, and Fletcher had been given the unpleasant task of finding Fenwick's missing remains. The older and more experienced members of the Order didn't want to burden the younger members with such a gruesome chore.

They went about their work diligently, not wanting to delay the task any longer than they had to. They knew that everyone within the Order had grown frustrated over not finding the missing parts of Fenwick's body and they wanted to put their minds at ease as soon as possible.

...

Autumn found herself at headquarters, left alone with Peter and Mary. Mary quietly read a book, while Peter rested his head on her lap. Autumn, meanwhile, sat in silence, staring at a wall.

No one spoke for a while, the air in the room filled with a sense of melancholy. The silence was comfortable, but also a little suffocating.

After a while, Peter shifted in his position on Mary's lap before looking up at Autumn. He cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

"How are you holding up?" Peter asked, his voice soft and sympathetic.

Autumn glanced over at him, her eyes still distant and pensive. "Honestly?" she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "I've been better."

Peter nodded in understanding. "I figured as much," he said, offering her an empathetic smile. "But you know we're all here for you, right? You don't have to carry this burden alone."

Autumn let out a small sigh, her shoulders slumping slightly. "I know," she said. "I appreciate it, I really do. But it's just... it's hard not to feel responsible somehow."

She paused, looking down at her hands that were clenched together in her lap.

"I just keep thinking... what if I had been there? What if I had seen his death coming earlier? Maybe I could have prevented it..." she trailed off, her voice betraying the guilt she felt.

Mary looked up from her book, a frown on her face. "You can't think like that, Autumn," she said, her voice firm but gentle. "The what-ifs will drive you insane. You did what you could."

Autumn nodded slowly, knowing that Mary was right. "I know, I know. It's just hard to shake the feeling that I could have done more," she responded, her voice still laced with guilt.

Peter sat down next to Autumn on the couch. He looked at her with a gentle expression, his eyes soft and understanding.

"Autumn," he said, his voice low and earnest. "There are so many things in life that we can't change, no matter how much we try. Everyone who has joined the order, including the both of us, knows the dangers we're facing. The war is unforgiving. But," he paused, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You have Aspen. Nothing in this world can ever compare to the life you brought to existence."

Autumn looked at him, her eyes misting over with emotion. She knew he was right, but it still didn't erase the guilt she felt.

"I know," she whispered, her voice cracking slightly. "But it still doesn't make it any easier. I can't help but wonder if there was something more I could have done."

Peter shook his head, his hand on her shoulder giving a reassuring squeeze. "You can't keep thinking like that, Autumn," he said firmly. "You did all you could. The order knows that, we all do. We trust your foresight, and we know you don't control it. You have to stop blaming yourself for something out of your control."

Autumn let out a shaky sigh, her shoulders sagging slightly. "I know," she repeated. "It's just... it feels like I should have been able to do more. But you're right, I can't blame myself for something that I had no control over. I just... I just wish I could have saved him."

Peter placed a comforting hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles on it. "I wish so too," he said softly. "But we can't go back and change what happened. We can only move forward and honour his memory by doing whatever we can to help the war effort."

Autumn nodded slowly, her heart feeling a little lighter. "You're right," she said, her voice steadier now. "We can't change what happened, but we can make sure we don't let his death be in vain."

Mary had put her book down and now spoke up too. "That's the spirit," she said, a small but encouraging smile on her lips. "We'll make sure that his sacrifice means something. That's what we can do."

Autumn chuckled at Mary's remark, her shoulders feeling lighter. She turned to Peter, and their eyes locked in a warm smile before they embraced, both feeling a sense of comfort and relief.

The moment was ruined as soon as Sirius and James walked in, Sirius couldn't help but tease them. "Ohhh, wormy is trying to steal your wife, Prongs," he mocked, a mischievous grin on his face.

James rolled his eyes at his best friend's antics. "Don't be jealous, Pads," he responded with a smirk. "Besides, Mary is right here. Highly doubt that's the case."

Mary played along, shrugging her shoulders with a smirk of her own. "I don't know... I mean Autumn is someone I'd try to steal."

Autumn snorted in amusement at the banter, her mood lifted by their presence. "Oh please, I'm not worth stealing," she said, a smile on her face.

Peter rolled his eyes at them all, pulling away from the hug but remaining close to Autumn. "Don't listen to any of them," he joked. "They're all just jealous."

Sirius feigned outrage, placing a hand over his heart. "Jealous? Us? Never." He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

James chuckled at the display before looking over at Autumn. "We're just teasing," he reassured her. "And for the record, you are most definitely worth stealing."

Mary chuckled at the exchange, enjoying the light-hearted banter. "Oh, don't encourage him," she said, rolling her eyes playfully.

Autumn laughed at their banter. "You're all terrible," she said, shaking her head in amusement. "But I appreciate the compliments, I guess."

"How'd your tracking assignment go?" Peter moved over to Mary while James went to sit next to Autumn.

However, Sirius took a risk and joined them, only for James to push him away, making room for himself next to Autumn. "Move, Pads. I want to sit next to my wife," he said, jokingly.

Sirius rolled his eyes but obliged nonetheless. "Fine, fine. I'll just sit over here by myself, all alone and abandoned." He dramatically sat down on a nearby chair with a fake pout.

James chuckled at Sirius' overdramatic antics. "Oh, quit being a baby. You'll survive sitting alone for a moment," he teased, his hand resting comfortably on Autumn's leg.

"I don't know, Prongs. I might not," Sirius replied, still dramatic as ever.

James rolled his eyes again and turned his attention back to Autumn. "How are you holding up?" he asked, his voice lower so it was just between them.

Autumn looked at James, her expression a mixture of sadness and resignation. "I've been better," she admitted, her voice soft. "But I'm getting by."

She looked at Sirius, who was still comically pouting in the background and rolled her eyes. "As you can see, I have a lot of very helpful friends," she joked.

James chuckled at her comment, and a smirk formed on his lips. "Oh, yes, very helpful indeed," he said, the sarcasm clear in his voice.

He then leaned in closer to Autumn, his voice quiet. "But in all seriousness," he began. "It will be hard, my love. But we all are here."

Autumn glanced at him appreciatively. "How are you doing?", she asked. "I can't be the only one who's getting any attention here."

James looked at her with a mix of exhaustion and determination in his eyes," I've been better, I suppose. Missing Aspen is tough," he confessed. "But remembering that it's all for her keeps me going."

He paused for a moment, his gaze lingering on her. "But I'm more worried about you, to be honest. You found Fenwick's body, and that's a pretty heavy burden to carry."

Autumn's expression softened at his words. She knew he was right; finding Fenwick's remains had taken a toll on her. "I won't lie, it's been pretty rough," she admitted. "I keep seeing it every time I close my eyes."

She paused, taking a shaky breath. "But I'll be fine. I have to be."

James reached out and took her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "You don't have to be fine all the time, you know," he said, his voice gentle. "We're all struggling in our own ways. But you don't have to carry it all alone."

Autumn gave him a small but grateful smile, appreciating his comfort. "I know," she said, her voice quieter. "I just don't want to be a burden. Everyone else has their problems, I don't want to add mine to the pile."

James looked at her with a soft expression, his gaze intense. "You're never a burden, Autumn," he said emphatically. "We're here for each other, that's what being part of the Order means. It's not just about fighting against him, it's about standing together through all of this."

Autumn felt a mixture of comfort and gratitude wash over her at his words. "You make me believe that sometimes, you know," she said, a hint of a smile on her lips. "But I appreciate it, really. I don't know what I'd do without you."

James squeezed her hand again, a warm smile on his face. "You don't have to find out, because you're stuck with me, you know that right?" he teased lightly. "For better or for worse, love."

Despite the heaviness in the room, Autumn couldn't help but laugh softly at his quip. "For better or for worse," she echoed, her spirits lifting a little. "I suppose I can find a way to deal with that."

Sirius made a face, having watched them, and silently thought to himself, "I love you two, but come on, stop being so overtly sappy, Potter's. You're making me want to throw up my lunch."

James chuckled at Sirius' dramatic commentary, rolling his eyes. "Oh, shut up Pads," he retorted. "You're just jealous."

Sirius mock looked offended," Jealous? Me? Never," he said, feigning arrogance. "I just don't want to see two people being disgustingly cute and affectionate right in front of me. It's nauseating."

James smirked at Sirius' response, playing along. "Oh, I'm so sorry for making you nauseous with my love for my wife," he replied sarcastically. "Maybe you should look away if it's too much for you to handle."

Sirius dramatically put a hand over his heart," You expect me to look away from my best friend while he fawns over his wife? How am I supposed to give you marriage advice if I can't see how disgustingly lovey-dovey you two are together?"

James laughed, shaking his head. "That's what you're worried about? Giving me marriage advice?" he said, amusement in his voice. "Well, I hate to break it to you, but 'be disgustingly lovey-dovey' isn't exactly a groundbreaking piece of advice."

Sirius feigned shock," What? You're telling me being disgustingly lovey-dovey isn't the key to a happy marriage? I've been wrong this whole time!" He dramatically clutched his chest, pretending to be completely shocked.

James chuckled, enjoying the banter. "Who would've guessed," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Here I was, thinking that being lovey-dovey with my wife was a bad thing when all along it's been the secret to marital bliss."

Sirius feigned horror," Wait, you're telling me that Autumn doesn't get tired of your endless sweet talk and gestures? That she actually enjoys waking up next to your insufferable face every morning?"

James pretended to look offended, placing a hand over his heart in mock hurt. "Insufferable? I'll have you know, my wife happens to find my face quite charming, thank you very much."

Autumn interjected, "I mean, your face is nice, but if we are talking about looks, Sirius is way more handsome than you."

Sirius immediately perked up at the mention of his name, his eyes widening with pride. "Why thank you, Autumn," he said, a smug grin on his face.

James feigned indignation, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Sirius. "Excuse me, more handsome than me? I beg to differ."

Sirius feigned offence," Oh come on, Prongs. Let's be real here. My handsome face is legendary."

James couldn't help but scoff at Sirius' audacity," Legendary? You wish. My looks have been passed down in the Potter bloodline for generations."

Peter chimed in, seizing the opportunity, "I thought it was more about the untamed, messy hair. That's all Potter."

James turned to Peter, mock appalled," Hey now, my hair is not untamed and messy! It's... it's purposefully styled this way. Gives me a certain rugged, roguish charm."

Sirius chimed in with a mischievous twinkle in his eye," Oh please, James. You mean you purposely wake up every morning and decide to style your hair to look like you just got electrocuted?"

James feigned hurt, his hand going to his chest. "I'll have you know, this hair is a part of my charm. It's my signature look, my defining feature."

Mary, without looking up from her book, commented, "Honestly, back in school, Sirius had it all. Looks, hair, the whole package."

James, feigning offence, turned to her and asked, "Fine, since you seem to have witnessed it all, what do people think about me?"

Mary, without missing a beat, replied, "The lovesick puppy."

James's jaw dropped at Mary's response. "The lovesick puppy? Really? That's how people saw me?" he said, a mixture of disbelief and amusement in his voice.

Meanwhile, Sirius was enjoying this conversation immensely, having a front-row seat to James being teased.

Autumn tried to hold in her laughter, but couldn't help herself, and giggled as she spoke, "You chased Lily for years, Love."

Peter then smirked, adding, "And then it was Autumn, so yeah, 'lovesick puppy' definitely fits the bill."

James, unable to deny the truth in their words, sighed dramatically. "Alright, alright, I get it. I was a bit... enthusiastic in my pursuits."

Sirius, still enjoying himself, couldn't resist chiming in, "A bit? That's the understatement of the century, Prongs."

James shot a sideways glare at Sirius, his irritation showing. "You're one to talk. You chased after whoever caught your eye. Remember that summer after our fifth year? You got with half the girls in Hogsmeade."

Sirius feigned nonchalance, shrugging his shoulders. "Hey, I was living my best life. Can you blame me? Those Hogsmeade girls were... well, they were something."

Suddenly, the sounds of rushed footsteps echoed through HQ, the noises of their feet pattering on the wooden floor drawing their attention to the next room.

The group's lighthearted banter ceased abruptly as they heard the hurried footsteps. The laughter and playful teasing were quickly replaced by a sense of alertness and concern. James, Sirius, and the others immediately looked in the direction of the sound, their conversation forgotten.

"What the-" James began, standing up from his seat, his attention fully focused on the source of the noise.

The others followed suit, their expressions equally curious and alarmed. They exchanged looks, silently questioning what was happening.

As the footsteps grew louder, several Order members emerged into the room. One of them, Dorcas, was out of breath, clearly having run to deliver an urgent message.

"What's going on?" James asked urgently, his voice immediately commanding. The others waited expectantly for Dorcas to speak, their attention fully on her.

Dorcas entered the room, her eyes filled with a mix of desperation and anguish, and she fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face as she choked out a single word: "It's—"

The room fell silent. Every Order member present froze, their hearts skipping a beat at Dorcas' cryptic response. James felt a knot in his stomach, a familiar fear creeping upon him. He knelt down in front of Dorcas, his voice steady but laced with worry.

"It's who, Dorcas?" he asked urgently, his eyes locking with hers.

Dorcas looked up at James, her face a mask of anguish. "It's Marlene," she managed to choke out, a sob catching in her throat.

Time seemed to stand still for a moment as the news sunk in. James's world shifted. He felt as if he had been hit by a ton of bricks. He was frozen, unable to move or speak, the weight of fear and disbelief heavy upon him.

Sirius was the first to react, his eyes wide in shock and horror. "What-? Marlene?" he stammered, his voice shaking.

The others stood there in a daze, their eyes filled with disbelief and sorrow. Everyone had a fondness for Marlene, her vibrant personality and unwavering bravery had touched all of them. Now, the news of her misfortune left them reeling.

Mary quickly abandoned her book and dashed over to Dorcas, kneeling down by her side. Seeing the blood-staining Dorcas's shirt, Mary let out a heart-wrenching wail before enveloping her friend in a tight embrace.

James's heart clenched at the sound of Mary's anguished cry. He had been so focused on Dorcas's words that he hadn't even noticed the streaks of blood on her clothes. The realization hit him like another blow.

He stood there, his mind racing, his heart pounding. Every muscle in his body tensed as he tried to process the horrifying truth.

Autumn was struck with a sense of loss and guilt as she grabbed at her hair, desperately trying to process the events that had unfolded. Her mind was gripped by a relentless barrage of thoughts: Why? Why hadn't she seen this? Why didn't she save Marlene?

As the reality of the situation started hitting Autumn, a wave of guilt washed over her. She clutched at her hair, tears welling up in her eyes. "Why?" she whispered to herself, her voice filled with anguish.

She couldn't shake the feeling that she should have seen this coming. Shouldn't she have done something? A deep sense of guilt settled within her chest.

James quickly led Autumn away from the chaotic scene into a quieter corner of the room. He knew exactly how to comfort her without saying a single word. Pulling her close to his chest, he held her, allowing her the space to let out her tears silently.

He felt his own heart heavy, but he pushed his emotions aside. Right now, Autumn needed him the most. He ran his hand soothingly over her hair, his embrace tight and grounding.

Autumn clutched at him, her fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt. The tears streamed down her face as she sought solace in the safety of his arms. Her body trembled as the sobs wracked through her.

James held her tighter, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against her ear offering a strange sense of comfort amid the horror of the moment.

As Autumn cried into his chest, James whispered soothing words, even though he wasn't sure if she was listening. "It's okay, Love. Let it out, I've got you..." he murmured gently.

He knew words were insufficient at that moment, but he hoped the sound of his voice might bring some small measure of comfort.

After what felt like an eternity, Autumn's sobs began to subside, her body growing still against his. Her head rested against his chest, the rise and fall of his breath against her ear a constant, grounding reminder of his presence.

James held her, his arms wrapped tightly around her slender form. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head, silently promising her that he was there, and he always would be.