Lesson Two: Show, Don't Tell

I'm sure some of you are scratching your heads in confusion. What do you mean by this, Tiana? Well, I shall begin to elaborate on this, as I have told this to every single writer that has asked me for help, no matter what their skill is with storytelling.

Now, let me make something very clear first. There are always moments and opportunities that necessitate "telling." I will be more thorough in my explanation below, but I want writers to be aware that both "showing" and "telling" are necessary when writing creatively. "Showing" allows the reader to walk through the moment with the character; it allows an audience to see, hear, feel, and experience what this character is experiencing.

I, myself, struggle with this particular "advice." I am still constantly "telling" instead of "showing" but I always try to improve my writing and keep this key point in the back of my mind when I go through the editing process, so I am not exempt from this struggle.

How to tell and how to show

I. Use Sensory Language

When you're writing, you want your readers to fully experience what you're experiencing, what your characters are experiencing. So, start by incorporating more sensory language into your writing, and don't rely solely on sight alone.

》Telling: To him, she was the most beautiful girl in the whole world.

Now, there is nothing wrong with the sentence above. In fact, it's definitely okay to write this kind of sentence if you're trying to create a statement with impact.

However, let's revise it with language with other "senses."

》Showing: Her laugh was melodic and pleasing to his ears and her smile seemed to illuminate throughout the whole room. When she approached him, a waft of a faint floral scent sent him reeling; how he wished he could take in that scent for the rest of his years.

Okay, so regardless of that actual "quality" of the above sentences, it does "walk" you through what this man feels for a woman. He likes the way her laugh sounds and to him, her smile is brighter than anything else around him. Of course, when we are told "he thinks she's beautiful" we understand, but as readers we want to feel what he is feeling for this woman, and in turn, we can infer that he thinks she's beautiful by the choice of words.

II. Use Dialogue

Dialogue is the probably one of the easiest ways to show versus telling, because it allows readers to experience the scene as if they were actually there to witness it. Let's use an example.

》Telling: Levi clearly was angry.

It's a rather bland sentence, right? Of course, it gets the message across but we don't know why or we don't feel it with him.

》Showing (with dialogue): "Shut up, cadet!" spat out Levi. "Did I give you permission to speak to me?"

Without much context, it still would be hard to feel anything, so the whole scene would obviously be expanded on. However, I assume you understand the point I am making.

III. Use Descriptions

To be clear, this does not mean overdo it with a vast amount of adverbs and adjectives to get your point across and it doesn't mean you need to describe everything with great detail. As storytellers, it is better to leave certain things up to the imagination of the reader.

I am NOT knocking Lord of the Rings trilogy but J.R.R. Tolkien was a master at descriptions, to a point where some of it was...a little unnecessary. True, he wrote an epic so it turned out well for him, but as a reader (I've read them all twice), it's very tedious and boring to read through ten paragraphs about the landscaping and the terrain and such.

》Telling: She sat down on the couch and cried about her brother.

》Showing (with description): In her despair, she collapsed to the floor and began to weep into her hands. Never in her life had she experienced pain quite like the pain of losing her brother to an unexpected death.

Furthermore, when describing characters, don't do just describe how they look right from the beginning like it's a background check. Especially in the beginning of the story, I might add. It doesn't let your readers discover your character. Reveal them throughout the story in a timely manner.

》Telling: She had blue eyes, blonde hair, and pale skin. She was quite short and had the build of an athlete.

》Showing (one example of revealing): Krista glanced up at Reiner, whom was over half her size, and stifled a giggle.

The above sentence reveals that she is a relatively short girl without stating it directly. You can do this with her eye color and hair color and so on.

IV. Be specific.

Vague, hazy sentences don't convey much to an audience. If it is done correctly, however, for the sake of the story and to push through it because it's important, than of course, keeping something vague is fine. I'm more so referring to basic sentence structure.

》Telling: He had never felt anything like it in his whole life.

》Showing: Tears of joy began to brim his eyes. He watched his bride make her way down the aisle, her arm linked with her father's, and a warm sensation began to pulsate in his veins. She was stunning...he couldn't tear his eyes away. Watching her step ever closer to him, with her embarrassed grin and awkward gait, he realized one thing.

This was home, and she was all he needed.

Again, disregarding how lame and cheesy that example was let's analyze it. I took the time to describe what the feeling was to him, what it reminded him of and why he was feeling that way. I conveyed how happy this man was, knowing he was going to spend the rest of his life with the woman coming down the aisle for him.

However...

Again, let me be very clear. You do not have to overdo the telling and I'm begging you not to. For example, "she was nervous" (telling) isn't somehow less than the sentence "she bit her fingernails" (showing).

No sentence was more important than the other. If you've already described certain scenes or emotions, it's perfectly OKAY to have a telling sentence. If an entire book was all showing, it would be a very exhausting .

Thank you for reading the second lesson! I am not sure what I will cover next, as there are so many different subjects of writing to cover. Until we meet again, writers!