Bonus: First Entry: [+2]  

Bonus: Turning in before the original deadline: [+1]

★EDEN KARAM★

Score: 13.8

Notes 1: The real question I had this task was improvement--and I saw it, from the way you described then to now, and I like that. I want you to continue--I'm loving Eden's personality.

Notes 2: I was very impressed by this. I feel like you did better with the scene around the character, and that the character herself is interesting, and that this was a good task for you.

★CASSYUS BERYL★  

Score: 0

Notes 1: Did not turn in twice, eliminated.

Notes 2:

★JAZZYNN "JAZ" JONES★

Score: 5.8

Notes 1: I am upset at the lack of a real entry, and am expecting you not to do this again.

Notes 2:

★VIOLANTE MERCY GRINNELL★

Score: 12.5 [+2] 14.5

Notes 1: I didn't see any real improvement. You also began to fall into the trap of letting yourself not edit enough, meaning there's some grammatical mistakes, as well as sentence structure issues. However, this was still a good entry.

Notes 2: The narration was distant, instead of inside of her head, and it felt like we were getting a bird's eye view instead of something from her. I feel like this was more of a bad task rather than a writing issue.

★LAURUS ENZO★

Score: 12.3

Notes 1: While your voice came through well, the task itself was a bit lacking, as with some of the emotions. I would like to see more of the character, the task, and more of that taste you'd given us in the first task from you.

Notes 2: Although there was less of a letter in this entry, I still saw a lot of the same problems I had with the first one. Laurus has a very distinct voice when he's writing to his uncle, but in the narration I don't see as much of it. 

★NEPTUNE SCYLLA★

Score: 11.3

Notes 1: I am so happy to say that your improvement has been fantastic, keep it up! Continue on the grammar, if possible, and keep working to get better.

Notes 2: I am so proud and I feel like you really tried to take and apply the advice. This showed really well, your action came through, and I'm excited to see what you can do from here.

★PERCY COLE★

Score: 13.2

Notes 1: As far as improvement goes, you did much better about the sentence structure repetition. However, I feel like you need to continue working and seeing where you can go from here.

Notes 2: I enjoy the throwbacks to the other games. I just want you to know that you don't have to have x amount of references, because the entry would have been fine without it.

★CONSTANTINE CRANE★

Score: 10.4 [+1] 11.4

Notes 1: I didn't see anything get worse, but it didn't get better. Meaning you're in a hole, you need to work harder, and I'm expecting more.

Notes 2: I really liked your interaction between characters. Improvement wise, I felt a bit detached from him, and would like to see more on that.

★PARABELLA BLUESTONE-SCORIA★

Score: 0

Notes 1: We understand why you could not send, and are hoping that you can make it to the next round.

Notes 2:

★HERZEL KOZLOWSKI★

Score: 10.9

Notes 1: I enjoy your consistency, but I'm torn over whether your character's voice comes through too much. Keep this up, I'm excited to see where you go.

Notes 2: I like the vocabulary, and the character. However, I feel as though there wasn't enough of the actual task, which threw off your score.

★SEBASTIAN MERCIER★

Score: 8.8

Notes 1: I got the impression that this task was harder for you than the last, or perhaps it just read that way. I think you could do with working harder.

Notes 2: I recognize that you did not want to take the journal route, and wanted to be more hands on with the action, but there seemed to be some pacing issues. You had action, and it was quick, but it was layered on with heavy description that weighed it down.

★WREN DUFTY★

Score: 0

Notes 1: Because you gave no reason for not turning in, we're not too impressed with this.

Notes 2:

★ADEL ASLET★

Score: 12.3

Notes 1: I enjoyed the improvement here, good job! I agree with the other judge, I think you could have incorporated more action, but I enjoyed this and am eager for more.

Notes 2: I would have liked more action, because this was an action based task. I really liked your characters thought process, and I loved that last line.

★ATHENA OLIVE★

Score: 10.8

Notes 1: There was improvement, but because your entry was so brief, you cannot see that in score.  If you could continue this, and add more of the task required here, this would have been better.

Notes 2: I think that with sentence structure and grammar, this was better from last task. I would like it if you could combine that with more description and task.

★JOSEF THOMAS★

Score: 9.2

Notes 1: Because of the time this was sent, you shall receive no notes from me. Improvement would be learning more time management.

Notes 2: Unfortunately, because of the time, we were not able to write notes for you this task. If you'd like feedback, please feel free to PM this account. 

★KAI ZALE★

Score: 0

Notes 1: No entry, so I guess you got worse.

Notes 2:

★KIEFER ELWOOD★

Score: 12.8

Notes 1: I can see some improvement, but it's hard to pinpoint where.  Coming from a high score makes it harder to actually continue keeping that score.

Notes 2: Your score went down from the last task, however Kiefer's voice still comes through to me clearly. I feel like this one was a little bit rougher around the edges, kind of like him, and could have done with another look-over before submitting.

★ASHRE RELICKS★

Score: 14.1

Notes 1: From task one to this one, the difference is immense. I can see the effort you put into this and it paid off. Keep it up.

Notes 2: What the other judge said. It was great, the dedication was there, the subtle foreshadowing was great, and I liked it.

★VALENTINE RACHMANINOFF★

Score: 12.0

Notes 1: Wow. Big improvement, and you did great.

Notes 2: This was a unique take to the task. You didn't have any in-entry deaths, which brought you a little bit down since this was a bloodbath, but this was significantly better.

★EVELYN GRAY★

Score: 9.8

Notes 1: I miss the impactful nature of the first task--though this was okay, it felt like there had been no editing, and quantity does not mean quality. For improvement, work harder, because I didn't catch any and in places it was the opposite.

Notes 2: You focused a lot more on backstory than you did the bloodbath, which would have worked better if you had incorporated it into the action. Because you didn't, the actual task was too brief.

★SEQUOIA "MADAME" CARLISLE★

Score:  7.5

Notes 1: Until near the end, you actually had a nice entry. There wasn't improvement, and you did worse, but I think you could continue on more so don't do this again, okay?

Notes 2:  What you had seriously was good, as was your first. I realize that you ran out of time, but I was disappointed.

★CADETTE LANCE★

Score: 13.3

Notes 1: The difference between young Cadette and old is fantastic. I cannot speak too much of improvement because of the sheer difference of writing between the two, but I like this, and am excited to see you continue this as you have.

Notes 2: I was impressed at this. I had been skeptical as to what would happen, because of last task, but you exceeded my expectations. Also, that life alert joke was well played.