I do not know what happens as I return to the town, only that I do, and now we are back, and Vṛkā is...  Vṛkā isn't.  There is a great blankness where she should be, as though I had ranged deep into the jungle, beyond her mind's reach, yet her body is on my back, still warm and living, and this is the only reason I still move, I still have any idea what to do.  I go to the infirmary, and ask them please to help, and they do not speak my tongue, but they understand well enough, taking Vṛkā from my back—but then they try to bring her inside, and do not let me follow!  I yip, and wail, and try to follow—I cannot sense her, only see her, and if I cannot see her—!

At last, at last we bring her home, where I can be inside with her, and a healer comes with us, a...a mentalist, who can reach into minds like Vṛkā and I do except with anyone, and I push him forward, nudging him toward the bed where she lies as still as snow.

Others have arrived, speaking amongst themselves, but I ignore their worried tones, settling myself on the floor beside the bed, resting my head on the mattress, watching Vṛkā, wishing I could...do anything.  Someone scratches behind my ear.  I think it's...the young one who isn't young.  Lyra.  Elf?  Is that the word?  But all I can see is Vṛkā, and she's so still, she's barely breathing, and I know the healer is searching for her, but I cannot help the whine that escapes me as I press closer.  I could not bear to lose her...

Still, I press closer, I cannot get any closer, yet I try, crying out to her, to Miris, to any who might listen: Vṛkā, Vṛkā!

...Perhaps Miris finally heard me.  Perhaps it is because the healer is here.  Whatever the reason, I break through the barrier, I cross the void, and I am here, I have found her!  I pull her close, draw her back with me, she must come back, she is here, she is safe, I will protect her.

I open my eyes, and look at her again, and...

I can feel her.

She is there, in the back of my mind, fainter than I have ever felt her, but she is there.

"...not really there...other presence...calmer, after that."

"...Auris?  ...part of her...?"

"...could've been a spirit...  Who does she worship?  ...honor god?"

"Miris."

"...might make sense.  Many gods...look after their chosen."

Slowly, I sit up.  "I..."  I look between those in the house.  Their words make sense to me.  "I...understand you..."  My words sound strange.

There's a beat of silence.

"You don't...speak Celestial?"  Why do they sound strange?

Lyra straightens up.  "G-Gwrtheyrn, nod if you understand me."

I blink.  I know Lyra doesn't speak it.  Then I give a slow nod.  "Yes.  I...understand..."  I furrow my brow.  These are not her words.  That is why they sound strange.  I understand their words, but I still speak my own.  "I..." I say, trying to find the words in her tongue, "I...understand."

Lyra gasps in delight.  "Y-you do!  Is—is this a—a good thing?  Oh, I hope so!"  She throws her arms about me, hugging me tightly.

I nuzzle her, but the gesture is distracted; my mind is racing.  How did this happen?  What is it that happened?  Then a thought arises: the courthouse.  Gash is in the courthouse because the other mustn't know until Valerian is safe, and the week is up today, and Gash's deal is incomplete.  Vṛkā meant to do it, but she cannot now, so I must do it in her place.

I stand, newfound purpose blooming within me.  Hope is found.

❂

I speak with Tareyna and tell her what I know.  She makes note of it all, and I am satisfied Gash will be held on the proper charges.  There is something of Vṛkā in me that guides my words, tells me which ones are important.  There is still more to do, and I go to the courthouse, to speak with Gash.  Lyra follows me.  I wish she didn't.  She should not be involved in this.

The guard doesn't wish to let me see him at first, though more out of confusion than anything else.  It is understandable; I do not make a habit of doing Vṛkā's work for her.  I do convince them, though, and they make some comment about how many visitors he's had for not being meant to have many at all, and I pause, and ask about that.  Jakob's been visiting, they say.  Keeping him company.  It's not actually much to deal with, they go on, it's just not quite what they expected, and I realize that now they are treating me more like Vṛkā, and don't want me to think they're having difficulties with it.  I leave them alone.

Some distant worry echoes in the fragment of Vṛkā's mind that anyone should be speaking with Gash, but I am here now, and I will clear all of it up, and then it will be done.

Gash is surprised to learn I understand the common tongue, now.  I think it is Vṛkā's touch, like Miris granted her understanding of my tongue.  I tell Gash that I will speak with the other.  He doesn't understand why I'm here and not Vṛkā.

"Vṛkā will return," I tell him.  "Vṛkā will take care of things.  I will speak with the other."

He furrows his brow.  Confusion, or concentration.  Sometimes it means anger, though that changes the mouth more.  I am getting better at these expressions, but there is still a lot to learn.  "Return?" he asks.  "Where'd she go, then?"

Gash has no business knowing that.  "Away."  I am done here.  I stand.

"Away where?"  But he will not stop speaking.  "She bringin' Val someplace safe, or what?"

Val?  He would mention Valerian?  A low growl escapes my throat, my gaze sharpening, lips curling away from my teeth.  That expression is universal.

Gash raises his hands.  "A'right, a'right.  Somewhere where ah don' get to know about, ah'm sure.  Ah'll back off."

Somewhere he doesn't get to know about?  Yes, somewhere none of us get to know about because of him.

Gash keeps his hands in the air.  "All right, wolf, keep yer secrets.  Ah'm sure ye got more t' be doing tonight than growlin' at me anyhow."

"Make no more plans," I say.  "No more deals.  You only make things worse."  My growl seeps into my voice, graveling it beyond its usual rumble.

Gash flinches, and a grim satisfaction flashes through me.  "An' what sorta plan would ah be able to hatch from in 'ere anyhow?" he asks.

"You would find a way.  Don't."

"Gwr-Gwrtheyrn?" Lyra's whisper reaches me.  She's followed me in here; I told her to wait outside!  "Is everything okay?"

"Heh," Gash chuckles.  "Glad y' believe in me even now, wolf."

"I-I'm so sorry," Lyra is saying to the guard.  "Gwrtheyrn came here all in a-a hurry and I'm st-still not sure why, b-but it seemed really important, so I didn't, didn't try to stop him..."

A new feeling arises in me at Lyra's words.  I am no child to be apologized for.  But I am done here.  I huff, the sound dismissive, and turn to go back down the hall.

Lyra reaches up to pet me, but I am not the wolf she knows, not now, and I do not bend my head to let her reach.

"D-do you want to go home, Gwrtheyrn?"

"There is more to do."

Lyra blinks, looking at me a little sheepishly, and I regret my harshness.  "D-do you, do you want me to, um, to accompany you?"

"Let us go," I say simply, and nudge her toward the exit.

❂

We go to headquarters, and again, I tell her to wait outside.  Hopefully, this time she will listen.  The other is more dangerous than Gash.

I tell the other that Gash is unable to report the results of their deal himself, and so I am here instead.  I remind them of the specifics: the deal was, at the time given, for Gash to hand over any information he had gathered on the town, its government, its defenses, its people...anything.  And if there was more the other wanted, he would give them an estimate of how long it would take him to get it.

The other curses me to blindness.

I can feel Vṛkā's power, Miris' power, faintly swirling about me, ready to restore my sight, but I do not need it.  I have other senses, and it will do no good to let the other know any more than necessary.  I ignore it, and tell them that Vṛkā agreed to speak with Gash herself, but he never arrived, and so gathered no information, and that the time required for him to gather the information they seek is currently longer than his life.  He cannot gather such information while imprisoned.  I tell them the deal is fulfilled.

As I walk away, my vision returns.

❂

I don't return to Gash until the next day, this time without Lyra.  His hands are still bandaged, and though the black eye must have been magicked away, he still winces sometimes when he blinks.  All of his movements are slow, in fact.  "You are still hurt," I say.

Gash shrugs.  "Tends to 'appen when ye get injured, ye know.  If'n ye want to 'elp me wi' that, ah wouldn't say no t' more bandages or some such."

"It tends to happen when you abandon honor," I say, and Gash raises an eyebrow, but I don't give him a chance to reply.  "Your deal with the other is complete.  Do not offer them any more, or Vṛkā's work will be undone."

He frowns.  "Ye suggestin' ah got the 'bility to make more deals with 'em from in here?"

"Overestimate your enemies.  Underestimate yourself.  Then you will be prepared."

Gash smirks.  "Ah'm an enemy now, am ah?"

I would be done here, but...  "You do not know what you have done," I say, almost realizing it for the first time, myself.

"Ah'm a hunter, ah hunted, ah got caught.  Wha' more is there to it?"  But I see the worry that flashes through his eyes.

"Plenty."  I pause.  "Remember the first condition?"  I almost relish the news I might break to him.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"You know the other."  My tone goes cold.  "You know how Valerian was before."  I stare into his eyes.  "You built his trust.  You were one of the ones to draw him out of it."

Gash frowns, but says nothing.

"And you destroyed it.  You destroyed him.  Valerian is away.  Valerian is not safe."

His frown deepens, and he takes a deep breath before responding.  "Val knows wha' kinda man ah am; ah never kept it secret.  Ah don' know why 'e acted 'ow 'e did, but this?  This ain't enough to break 'im."

"If it wasn't enough to break him, I wouldn't have chased him through miles of jungle.  He wouldn't have ignored Vṛkā's call.  Vṛkā would not be how she is now."

Gash leans forward, exhaling.  "Well, shit.  Seems ah must'a missed something."  A moment.  "He'll be back, 'e's got a good head on 'im an' got enough sense to keep 'imself alive in the jungle."

"Alive?  I think he will survive."  The anger has left me.  All that remains is a cool detachment.  "You know what it took to reach him.  You have returned us to the beginning, and made the task infinitely more difficult."  I pause, then add, "You proved the other right, to him."

Still, he does not understand.  "And 'ow, exactly, have ah proved the other right by bein' the person 'e knew ah'd been all along?"

"Valerian was also trained as an assassin."  My gaze doesn't waver.  "Imagine...if he was sent after Jakob."  I wish I could reveal Asphodel to him, if only so he would understand.  But I say simply, "You were not the only one to befriend him."

But even that may be enough, for he takes a sharp breath and his voice is quiet when he speaks again.  "They were close, then?"

"And that does not touch on what it did to Vṛkā.  But that is none of your business."  I want to tell him, I want to tell him what it did to her, I want him to feel the void I felt, I want him to know what it is to have only the faintest notion of her presence even now...  And at the same time, he does not deserve to know any of that.

Gash frowns again.  "Ye mentioned she was in a state, an' yeah, it ain't my business, bu' fer what it's worth, messin' wi' her wasn' my intention."

"You also intended to keep Valerian safe.  You aren't very good at following your intentions."  And with that, I stand, and walk back down the hall.