CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

The world was murky at first, all black, all dark. Slowly, Aurelio opened his eyes, and it took a few seconds for his vision to adjust.

Leslie's leg, a few inches to his right. That was the first thing he saw. His brows furrowed. Only when he shifted did he realize he was lying down on someone's bed. Pressing his hand into the mattress, he lifted himself up a little, and he realized Leslie was sitting in a chair next to the bed.

"Hey," Leslie said, twisting in her seat so she could face him better. "Don't get up."

Aurelio didn't continue getting up, but he supported his half upright position with his elbow. "What happened?" he asked, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

"We're not sure." Worry glistened in Leslie's eyes. "You kind of just...fainted? Almost. You kept saying that you were so scared, and then it's like your body shut down so we dragged you here."

"Scared?" Aurelio mumbled. To be fair the symptoms were strangely similar to fear, but mentally he hadn't exactly felt it. Like his body had been ahead of his brain. "How long have I been out?"

Leslie checked her phone. "About five hours."

Aurelio's jaw dropped.

"Five hours!"

Startled, Aurelio quickly pulled himself upright, but then Leslie caught his arm.

"Elio," she said. "You haven't slept for like a week now and you've been constantly on the edge. Go back to sleep or I'll smack your carotid artery."

Aurelio frowned. "Um...My carotid artery?"

"Yeah. It's right here," Leslie said, reaching over to brush her finger along a patch of skin on Aurelio's neck, near his throat. The entire area tingled at her touch. "If I put a little pressure on this, your body will overreact and you'll faint."

"Overreact."

"Yeah."

Aurelio heaved in a breath and let his head down on the pillow again. "No need," he mumbled, closing his eyes. "Your face makes me sleepy."

"You know, that's actually a compliment," Leslie said. "And it makes me really happy."

The door creaked, and then footsteps sounded. "I heard talking. He woke up?" Matt asked Leslie, keeping his voice down.

Aurelio opened his eyes and looked at Matt. "Yeah." He bit the inside of his cheek. "Thanks for the help, guys. I'm--"

"I'm gonna throw you out of this window if you apologize," Matt said. "Ah, by the way, Leslie was about to call your parents when you passed out but I told her to calm down because I knew you wouldn't wanna tell them." Matt leant forward and slapped Aurelio's shoulder. "You're welcome, bud."

Aurelio's eyes widened, then he frowned at Leslie.

"Don't frown at me like that," Leslie said, smiling as she gently poked Aurelio's brow. "I panicked at first! For a second I couldn't even understand what was happening. Then I realized the exhaustion must've finally gotten to you."

"Yeah." Matt crossed over the mess of clothes and bottles on the floor to the other side of the room. He pulled a drawer near the bed open, rummaged through it, then sighed hopelessly. "I can't find my third ring." Matt looked at Leslie. "Leslie, have some shame. Stop stealing my stuff."

"Oh my God," Leslie laughed. "Asshole." She grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at him. "It's probably lost somewhere in this mess." She pointed at the floor. "Not my fault your room looks like a dumpster."

Matt looked around him one last time, then he shrugged. "Whatever," he said. "I'll look for it later. Let's let Elio sleep now." He walked to the door, and at the threshold, he glanced at Leslie again. "You staying with him?"

Leslie nodded.

"Gross."

She tsked. "Go to hell, man."

Matt laughed and left. Sighing, Leslie twisted in her seat again and faced Aurelio, her hands interlocked at her knees. Aurelio had been distracted the whole time, staring into the drawer Matt hadn't bothered to fully close again. Inside, there was a cigarette pack, its lid open, one stick peeking out. It was the exact same one he'd found in his own drawer back home.

"When you came back after talking to Matt's mom," Leslie said in a low voice. "I could already tell something was wrong."

Right. That situation. Aurelio sat up, cross-legged, eyes wide with urgency. "You have no idea what happened," he said. "Can you believe that things got even more confusing?" He leant forward. "My head is gonna explode, Leslie. Literally. That's how confused I am right now."

Leslie expression cradled sorrow. She nodded, gesturing him to continue, so he did. He told her everything that happened, from Matt's mom to Aurelio's mom and uncle and all the confusion in between.

"So...Matt and your dad didn't go through the same thing?" Leslie asked. "It's just Matt. So your dad lied to you?"

"No. Apparently it's all in my head, because my mom said there never was any cigarette pack on the table. And--God, who's texting me so much?" The phone vibrating in Aurelio's pocket finally annoyed him enough, and he took it out and checked. It was Blair. Blair was spamming him. He frowned. "Why is Blair spamming me right now?"

"Probably worried."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Why would a girl be worried about her boyfriend?"

Aurelio looked up. The frown smoothened out, and he stared with confusion in his eyes instead. "What?"

"Dude. You slept for five hours. She's probably just worried 'cause you're not texting back."

Again. Aurelio just forgot Blair was his girlfriend again. "I need to go," he said, throwing his legs down the edge of the bed. "I need to talk to her."

"Woah." Leslie pushed his chest back. "Text her back first. She's gonna get even more worried if she sees you like this."

Aurelio shook his head. "I can't do this anymore," he said as he stood. "This entire situation is so messed up. I have no idea why I didn't do anything about it earlier. I have to tell her."

"Tell her what?"

"Leslie, I don't like Blair like that. I like her as a friend, that's it. I don't know why we're together. We shouldn't be. I don't even remember when we started dating! There's a reason I literally keep forgetting that she's my girlfriend in the first place."

Aurelio knew this was unfair to Blair, but he was also sure that going out with her while he was clearly crushing on Leslie and she was clearly crushing on Matt was worse. It was like the four of them were mismatched. Puzzle pieces in the wrong places. He'd tried to convince himself otherwise, that it was just him, just the anxiety, nothing abnormal. But no. Not anymore.

So Aurelio walked out before Leslie could convince him to stay. Outside, he walked along the pavement, on the side closer to the houses than to the street, eyes on the ground, refusing to look up--just to be safe, just to make sure he wouldn't trigger his fear right now.

And it worked for the most part. He only concentrated on walking. Everything in his body was neutral. No fear, no anxiety. Nothing. He moved forward. He was getting closer to Blair's house. Only a little left and he'd make it. Only a little left and he'd talk to her.

Heartbeats neutral. Normal pace. No, a little faster. Aurelio ignored it at first and kept going. But the closer he got to Blair's, the faster his heart thumped. It was like the universe randomly dropped fear in his chest, and now he had to deal with it.

Aurelio stopped and closed his eyes for a second, frustrated with himself. "What now?" he muttered to himself--to his heart. "What now? There's no reason for this! I'm not scared. Stop making me feel like it."

He continued walking, but it felt like he was defying the universe. Like he was fighting against a current. Like the world was pushing him back and still he was stubborn and moving forward. As if talking to Blair was going to be a grave mistake.

Punishment. Consequence.

"God," Aurelio muttered. "What consequence? What punishment!"

"Elio!"

Aurelio looked up. He'd made it. Blair was standing near her frontdoor, waving at him. Her eyes were wide and her smile was big and she was too lively and full of love to deserve this. Skipping across the yard, she threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek. He was stiff and tense in her arms. She deserved someone that reciprocated all of this.

"I was so worried," she said, holding his hand. She kept talking. Aurelio couldn't focus. He walked with her inside her house, to her bedroom. It was colorful and vibrant, and in the corner there was a big shelf with books.

Aurelio frowned at his surroundings. He was 100% sure this was the first time he'd seen her room.

"What's wrong?" Blair asked. "Why are you frowing?"

"I've never been here."

"Elio," Blair laughed. "We hang out here all the time." She opened a drawer near her bed and retrieved a black ring. "One of your rings, by the way." She smiled. "You forgot it here last time. I found it on my bed but I totally forgot to give it back."

Aurelio shook his head. "That's not mine. I don't wear rings. I get hives the second jewelry touches my skin."

"...You're allergic? Then how did you wear these all the time?"

"I didn't," Aurelio said. "Matt does." He pointed at the ring in her hand. "This is Matt's. Not mine. I was just at his place and he was literally looking for it."

Blair looked at the ring, then back and Aurelio, then at the ring again. She laughed awkwardly. "Um... Matt, please... I don't understand you right now."

Aurelio's eyes widened. "What did you just say?"

"What?"

"You called me Matt."

"Elio, I know who you are. I won't mistake my boyfriend's best friend for my boyfriend."

The inside of Aurelio felt so light and fragile right now, but he kept himself steady, his eyes level with Blair's. "Who's your boyfriend?" he asked. "And who's his best friend."

Blair looked so weirded-out. "Matt's my boyfriend," she said, her voice unsure. "And you're his best friend."

"Matt," Aurelio repeated, his chest constricting. "Matt is your boyfriend?"

"Yes, Elio." Blair nodded slowly, like she was trying to make it as clear as possible. "Matt's my boyfriend. What are you doing here, by the way? Is something wrong with Matt? I spammed him so much and he still hasn't texted back."

Aurelio stared.

Cry, laugh, or jump off a cliff?

• • •

Hey! :D tysm for reading/voting/commenting <3

we are currently moving towards the end of the book if you're wondering btw! I know it's taking too long for things to make sense lol and i'm sorry 💀💀 I will probably restructure the book or make it even shorter in a second draft.