CHAPTER ELEVEN:

Aurelio looked at Blair, wide-eyed, breathing slowly. You used to smoke. It's why we broke up. I saw the packs in your drawer. And it's not like he didn't even try to recall the incident-no, he racked his mind in search of the memory: of smoking, breaking up, stashing cigarette packs in his drawer.

But nothing.

His system stopped functioning with the effort, and pain pounded behind his forehead. He opened his mouth to speak. Water came in. He lifted his chin, raising it above the surface, spitting it out again.

"Elio, I didn't mean to make you feel bad," Blair said. "I just wanted you to know I appreciate the effort. I won't bring it up again if it makes you uncomfortable."

She missed the point by a mile, but it wasn't her fault. Aurelio wanted to explain, to insist that he'd never smoked and couldn't remember their breakup, but then again...he hadn't slept for two days now, hadn't eaten well, and was under the torment of a merciless headache. Was his judgement really valid? He'd forgotten his dad smoked for a second last time. Could this be another similar instance?

So Aurelio ended up saying nothing. Right now, he'd rather keep his mouth shut until he'd sort things out. Surely she'd think he was crazy if he told her all that. And she'd tell his parents and things would spiral out of control.

"I just wanna get out of the water," Aurelio said, then he swam towards the rocky brink. He trudged to the towel Leslie had spread on the ground and plopped down on it, knees to his chest, squinting against the sunlight as he looked around. Matt and Blair were still swimming, but Leslie was walking towards him now. Her wet hair reached a little below her shoulders. She adjusted the halter strap going over her collarbones, and Aurelio quickly looked away, scared of his own feelings.

With a content sigh, Leslie plopped down next to him. For a moment it was silent. She glanced around the place too, then her eyes landed on him. Aurelio met her gaze. Droplets trickled down her cheek.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Leslie said.

Aurelio looked away, playing with some pebbles beside him. "More like I've heard about one."

Leslie chuckled. When he didn't explain any further, she pursed her lips and hunched over, trying to get a better glance at his face. "I'd take this as a joke," she said, "but you actually sound so sad."

Aurelio shook his head. "I'm not. Just a little confused."

"A little?"

"Mhm."

"Can't fool me, Elio. A little means a lot in your dictionary."

This made Aurelio smile a little. Leslie's knee pressed into his, and it sent goosebumps along his leg. He still refused to look at her square, but he caught a glimpse of her through his peripheral. Her and her gentle smile. Her and her almond-shaped eyes. Her and her gravity. It pulled answers out of him, and he hated it and he liked it.

"I can't concentrate on anything," Aurelio said. "It's like there's fog in my head."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Aurelio let out a tired, defeated sigh. "I need to, but I'm not sure I want to."

"My hair will be all white by the time you finally decide to talk."

"Maybe a little sooner."

"How sooner?"

"You might have a few black strands left."

Leslie chuckled, then she shrugged a shoulder. "Cool. I'll wait."

Aurelio appreciated Leslie's patience with him for more than he could express. His eyes roved around the clear water surface, basking in the momentaty serenity, but that was when his heart skipped a beat. "Hey." He straightened. A sliver of alarm resonated in his voice. "Where's Matt?"

"Swimming?"

"He's not there."

A part of Aurelio's brain that he hated took the wheel.

Only Blair was in the lake, and was that panic on her face? Aurelio couldn't catch the details this far. He started getting up. He couldn't lose Matt. Not his best friend. Not someone he trusted so much. Did he drown? But how? He was such a great swimmer. He wouldn't drown unless he wanted to. Which was not so far, considering the shit, tattered, emotionally-draining family he'd been sentenced to live with.

Aurelio hurried over to the edge of the lake, and Matt broke out of the water. This close, he realized Blair had a grin on her face. Matt had an even bigger one on.

Aurelio's first reaction: a relieved sigh.

Aurelio's second reaction: a strong urge to slam his head into the wall. Maybe punch himself in the face too.

Of course, of-fucking-course Matt wouldn't just drown himself right now, surrounded by his friends, who, in Matt's words, were the only thing that made life worthwhile.

Aurelio should've seen that coming. Matt always dove underwater and came back, and he'd been most likely flaunting his ability to hold his breath in front of Blair. So why had he panicked like that? Why had he lost his reasoning, his logic?

Because of senseless fear.

Senseless fear growing in magnitude. Getting out of hand. And, dare Aurelio admit, becoming harder to avoid. First it'd only manifested about his parents, and now it was extending over to latch onto his friends.

Just great.

His therapist might as well kick him out of her office at this point. More problems? she would say. Not even an entire committee of therapists could fix you anymore!

By the time Aurelio snapped out of his bubble, Matt had come out of the water and was standing in front of him. "Hey," he said and ruffled Aurelio's hair. "Wake up. What's with the sour face? Even I don't frown this much."

Aurelio looked up at him, smiling a little as he jokingly pushed his hand off. "You've got competition now." Scooting over, closer to Leslie, he patted the space beside him. Matt plopped down next to him.

Blair had followed Matt, and she joined last, pushing herself between Matt and Aurelio. She slid a palm along Aurelio's cheek, gently angling his face closer, pressing her lips to his cheek. "Sorry about what I said," she whispered.

"Don't worry."

"God," Leslie said. "Can you two not mingle for like one second? We've got kids here."

Blair pulled back, frowning. "Kids?"

"...Matt's still sixteen...."

Matt leant forward defensively. "I turn seventeen in a week!"

Aurelio couldn't help but notice Leslie's bitter side-eye glance, the little frown, the defeat in her voice. It was a print-out of his expression when he'd see her with her boyfriend.

Matt turned the music up and relaxed back on his elbows, closing his eyes for a second. Blair mimicked his position, and maybe she was a little too close to him, and maybe Matt shouldn't have allowed her into his sacred personal space. And Maybe Aurelio was too close to Leslie, maybe his heart shouldn't be fluttering because her pinky crossed over his.

But it was all happening, even if it shouldn't.

• • •

Hii. Bruh i changed the last part so many times and i still dont like it lol. Also we're over 600 reads! ❤so surprised the reads aren't dropping with each chapter because right now is just boring buildup. But trust me it will be worth it when everything comes together ;) tysm for the support!