4: On my lap
Sunday, January the twenty-first
Pierre came to see me this afternoon, we didn't have sex - is it weird that I feel the need to say it? - actually, we just talked... Don't walk away now Bob, and don't you dare yawn! It was nice, really nice, like in a movie, but... real.
His head was on my lap, my hand in his hair, gently stroking it as we talked.
« My fondest memory? he mused, well that's quite the question isn't it? Aside from the time I spent with you obviously... »
« Obviously. » I smiled
« I guess it would be quite a while ago, I was still a child back then. Don't you dare say I still am or I spank you right now! - I smiled but said nothing - It was one day out of many at that time, when my dad still had the time to ask me if I wanted to go for a ride.
I liked his car, but what I liked the most was spending time with him.
He told me about the time my mother and him met, I knew the story, having heard it more than a dozen time, but I still liked it. I may have had a girl in mind at the time - Ouch! don't pinch me! - So, I was madly in love back then - no complaints, you asked for it - and we talked about it.
The aim was to go visit a small village near our home, but it started pouring midway through so we ran back to the car and waited for a bit. At some point he went to get coffee and took me a cup.
It was really bitter, and I made a weird face when drinking it, but I wanted to look like him so bad I forced it down. My father pretended not to see the face I made, and I pretended not to see the corner of his mouth curl up.
The rain was beating angrily and it felt like we were the only two people left in the world. There, in the cocoon of the car, we talked about the dreams of youth: his and mine, I shared the feelings my little heart shouted about this young girl and he shared the premises of love for my once younger mother. »
« What was her name? Did you two...»
« We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to you know.»
« I know, but I want to, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I was afraid of an old ghost? » I hoped I sounded as confident as I wanted to be, but I couldn't be sure, at least, if he noticed anything, Pierre didn't show it.
« Clara, she was called Clara. I couldn't tell you her family name, it was at an age when we didn't need them, our world was small enough, simple enough... Do you miss that sometimes? » I nodded as he voiced what we both felt
« I feel like I do. Anyway, no. Nothing happened between the both of us. I told her that I liked her when I got the occasion to be alone with her in the courtyard. She didn't really share my feelings, shocking right... » I could feel the scar beneath the jest, so I smiled to him with all the warmth I could find in myself and stroke his hair a bit more.
At some point he continued « She actually took it for a joke, I still don't know if she really thought the idea to be that ludicrous or if she was trying to be nice and cushion the blow... In the end it didn't matter, she liked a friend of mine and he liked her too.
It was a bit hard at first but not that much in the end, she was happy and so I was too, simple as that. Yeah, simple as that. » Well, that'll teach me to ask questions... but I was kinda glad he told me, it felt like he was comfortable enough with me to bare his skin.
« So much for the good mood and fond memories - he laughed and apologized - Bah, don't worry about it, everything's going to be okay know, Aurelia's here to take care of you, Little Lion. »
« Little Lion? » He asked, raising his brow
« Yup, any issue with the name? » he seemed to ponder a moment before shaking his head, I ran my hand through his hair and he purred! He actually purred, can you imagine that?
I have to be careful about the names I call him, please remind me on occasion Bob. We both laughed, the hint of sadness fading away. Finally he asked me
« And what about you? Any precious memory that would somehow not be of my making? »
« Wow, so many of them, I wouldn't know where to begin . »
« Ok, you looked for it girl, mark my word, you'll get your spanking right away! » I admit it, I was kinda looking for it, and laughed my way through it.
After ten minutes or so, we found some kind of composure again and returned to our initial state: me seated on the bed and him lying down with his head on my lap.
« My story begins in a country far far away... »
« Well that's a pompous start... » he muttered, I shot him my darkest look and, in the deepest voice I could conjure, I reprimanded him, warning him that I, too, could spank! My Little Lion smiled wryly but complied and encouraged me to continue.
« Ok, so actually it wasn't that far away really, we where visiting our grandparents who live in quite the secluded place, and my sister and I were staying at home. Our parents and grandparents went to a museum that, quite frankly, didn't appeal to me. As for my sister, she was feeling sick.
We aren't that close, my sister and I, and I assume that she planned on just dozing off in front of the TV on her own. But cell connection was bad and I had little to do so I decided to spend some time with her. I made her warm milk with honey and I sat with her on the couch.
At first we said nothing, we just sat there, in front of some dumb show. One of us must have made a joke, or maybe it was the show? I can't recall but at some point we were both laughing, then she thanked me for the milk and we started talking a bit. About the show at first but then about our lives, school and friends, a bit about boys too...
It was really nice, I hadn't talked to her, really talked to her, in a while. In a way, I just missed my little sis. She's still a pain more often than not, I confess, but I really do love my little pest of a sister at the end of the day. »
« Have you told her? » he asked softly.
« What?! Are you out of your mind? Why would I ever tell her that?!»
« Yeah, right, he said, unconvinced, why would you ever tell someone what you actually feel... » I looked down at him, frowning, as he continued « I mean, it would make things so easier, communication so much simpler, what's the point really? One would lose all the fun, all the challenges of life... »
« Oh shut up. » I interrupted him . He was right though, deep down I knew it. But I was afraid, I wasn't the kind of person to just open up like that and confess, even to my sister. Especially to my sister!
What if she just laughed at me? What if it got really awkward? And beside, how do you voice something that's been buried and kept silent, more or less tacite, for so long? I knew he wanted to continue, but it was a conversation for another time and so I slightly changed the subject before he told me to go and tell my parents that I loved them too.
« You know, talking about my sister, she might actually be curious about meeting you... if you want . » He didn't hesitate a second, I thought he might have been afraid of meeting my family, or part of it, but he just answered, not disturbed in the slightest:
« Sure why not. » then, as an afterthought « Is she as hot as you? Asking for a friend. » I tried to look offended, pressed a finger on his nose, and laughed
« Don't you dare try and match my sister with one of your friends, that'd be way too awkward! »
« True enough, he nodded, laughing too. »
« But yeah, maybe more so... If you like big breasts.» I whispered half to myself.
« Well, I can't say I mind them, but no matter how pretty your sister may be, you know the Little Lion is only yours. » He winked and continued. « And I positively LOVE your breasts. » He said, emphasizing the world love with a few squeezes on the object of his affection.
« Did you just confess to my breasts? » - squeeze squeeze -
« Yup! » He had a childish look on his face, of pure happiness. Ah boys, I thought, what is it with boobs and boys? - squeeze squeeze laughter squeeze - As I looked down to his face and stroke his hair, I realized how much I liked him, all of him. But I wasn't the kind of person to just open up like that and confess, even to my perfect guy. Especially to my perfect guy! What if...
« My boobs love you too you know. » - squeeze squeeze - « Oh come on, stop grinning like an idiot! »
I guess a small step forward is still a step, right Bob?
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