The next Tuesday, Yoongi was back in the empty waiting room of Dr Surrey's office, sitting alone and staring at the tormented painting that was displayed in front of him. The seas were stormy and the skies seemed endlessly troubled. 

Even if the painting was obvious painted, it felt to him like it was moving. Was the storm only starting or was it near the end? He didn't know, he couldn't tell from the way it was all so alive but so frozen at the same time. All he knew is that it was messy and beautiful, in a hectic way.

The door to the waiting room opened, forcing his gaze to divert from the painting.

"Min Yoongi? The doctor will see you now." It was the same secretary as the last time he was here, a week ago, and she bore the same serious expression as last time, too. 

He stood up from his seat, making his way to the office and sitting down in front of Dr Surrey, who welcomed him as he sat down. 

"Yoongi, how are you today?" She asked, and from her tone he could tell that she was genuinely curious to know the answer. She wasn't smiling, but her eyes were, as always, warm.

"I'm okay," he hesitated. He wasn't really fine, but he didn't know what else to answer. So fine he was. 

Dr Surrey smiled softly at his answer. 

"Did you have a nice week? What were you up to?" She inquired, and to Yoongi it felt more like polite conversation then a psychiatrist questioning him. 

"...I worked," he whispered. Even if he wanted to say more, he couldn't. He had stayed in his room all week long, only leaving it to eat and work. If he hadn't had his appointment today with Dr Surrey, he wouldn't have known that a week had passed. He was so focused on his pain that every moment felt like forever, yet it all went by too fast. 

Yoongi lowered his eyes, nervously playing with his hands. He was suddenly nervous that the doctor might ask him what he did the rest of the time. And that, he couldn't answer, because he had been numb.

"I see. So, the last time we talked about your love for Catalina," Dr Surrey started, looking over the boy as she expected him to go on. But he didn't, he just continued staring at the floor, not moving. 

Dr Surrey noted something in her file. 

"But Catalina and you aren't together anymore, and today I'd like to talk about why," she expended.

Yoongi shifted awkwardly, and his face turned as blank as a sheet.

"I... I don't want to talk about that," he whispered, and it sounded like a plead.

He was pleading, but he didn't care. The last thing he wanted was to talked about why he wasn't with Catalina anymore, and he would do anything to avoid the subject. Even if he had to beg Dr Surrey. He simply couldn't talk about it. 

Dr Surrey noted down something.

"It is important that we do, so I can better understand what you're going through," she insisted, but her voice was soft and non-confrontational, as always.

Yoongi raised his eyes and met hers. They had a hint of anger in them that took Dr Surrey by surprise: until now, the boy had always been sad, but never angry.

"Is that what you shrinks do? You force people to say out loud the thing that hurts them the most? Are you serious? I know what happened, you know what happened, and therefore there is no need to say it," he growled, fists clenched angrily. 

Dr Surrey blinked. 

"I don't know what happened, you never told me. I'd like to know why you're not with Catalina anymore." She kept her voice calm, as always, even if the boy in front of her was fuming.

But Yoongi's anger disappeared the moment she said those words, and suddenly he was staring at her with wide, sad eyes, somehow completely taken aback. 

"You don't know?" He was too stunned to be angry anymore. 

"Know what?" Dr Surrey inquired curiously. Was she supposed to know something?

"I... I thought my mom told you what happened when she called to make an appointement." Yoongi was confused. Had Dr Surrey really not known, all this time? Was she clueless about the reason why he wasn't with Catalina anymore?

"No, she didn't. How about you tell me what happened, Yoongi?" She pressed on, her voice clueless to the storm she was about to create.

She didn't miss the hint of fear in his eyes, a fear that seemed to grow by the second but that somehow lived in him. It was shocking to Dr Surrey that she was just now noticing his terror, when it was so obvious that the boy was frightened. He was like a scared child, one that was terrified of the monsters hiding under his bed and couldn't bring himself to look under it, in fears of what he would see down there. But the monsters were still there, even if he didn't want to look at them. It didn't matter if he was scared or not, if he was looking or not. Eventually, he would have to face the monsters.

Yoongi closed his eyes slowly, hiding his fear from Dr Surrey. His face now nothing but torn, pain gradually taking over every single one of his features. He took a deep breath. He knew it would hurt him to say those words out loud, but he didn't have a choice. Dr Surrey didn't know, and she had to. He also knew that, eventually, he'd have to say it out loud, even if it destroyed him. 

So he said it.

"She died." 

It was a whisper, yet to him it felt like he had just screamed it at the top of his lungs. Screamed his pain, screamed his fears, screamed his worst nightmare that had somehow became a reality. It made him painfully breathless. And all it took was the mere whisper of two words that became an undeniable truth the moment he said them.

Wrapping his arms around himself in a protective way, he kept his eyes closed, trying to hold himself together. But holding the pieces of him didn't meant that he was glueing them back together, it just meant that it would delay the moment when they would all fall apart. He knew that moment would come eventually. And then, it would all be over. But until then, he'd try to hold himself together, as much as could, and for as long as possible. 

Until he would fall.

_________

A/N - Thoughts?