For the hope of it all...

"Augustine, wake up. C'mon, you gotta get up."

I groaned, swatting at whatever was trying to wake me. I stretched my arms over my head when my right hand hit something grainy. I yelped, opening my eyes and squinting as they adjusted to the bright light. The sun hurt my vision, but I could make out waves reaching the sand and the sky the bluest it had been so far on our trip.

I felt damp, itchy and still dazed. I turned to see James watching me with extremely messy hair. Immediately, I awoke fully.

"Morning, sleepyhead," he smiled.

"What the hell is going on!" I burst out.

"Augustine, it's okay," he began. "We fell asleep on the beach."

Shit.

"Ughhhhh," I groaned, covering my face with my hands. I peeked through my fingers to see James's depressed-looking face.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I should've set an alarm or something. If your parents get mad, I'll take the fall. I promise."

I propped myself up on my hands and squinted at him. His face held complete sincerity.

He's way too good for me.

I had known it before, but he really was. If anything were to happen between us, it wasn't him who'd hurt me. I'd end up ditching him the moment I got home, so I wouldn't have to deal with missing him. I couldn't do that to the vulnerable boy sitting next to me. I needed to leave before I lead him on.

"You know what?" I told him. "It's fine. I'll just head home."

"Wait, let me walk you," he smiled, slipping his hand into mine.

Best to rip the band-aid off.

"Don't," I whispered, pulling my hand back. "Just...don't."

Hurt flashed through his eyes as he took in what I was saying. Or rather, wasn't saying. I stood up and brushed the sand off my body, leaving a dejected James to watch the waves alone. It killed me to leave, but he'd get over it. I wasn't a difficult person to get over; Inez had showed me that when she left.

I trudged along the beach in a daze. The sun glared down on me as I prepared myself for my mother's wrath. As the cottage came into view, I sighed, slowly approaching the front door.

The house was silent, my steps the only noise filling the room. I walked slowly, hoping none of the floorboards creaked underneath me. From the front door, I could see the kitchen to my right, the living room to my left, and the wood stove that separated the two. I headed into the living room and up the stairs, cursing softly as one creaked.

Back in my room, I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly gathered clothes to take a shower. The hot water pelted my sandy skin, and I washed every grain out of my curly hair. I had the Folklore album playing quietly on my phone, but I couldn't find the energy to sing along. James's hurt face flashed through my mind repeatedly. His soft hazel eyes holding sadness I caused was a punch to my stomach every time I thought of them. I had seen that look in the mirror the day Inez decided she'd had enough of me. I ran my hands through my hair and closed my eyes to shut out his face, but it kept coming back.

I never considered myself capable of hurting someone like that, but the way his shoulders dropped, and his eyes went glossy showed me I could. Why though? I had just met him; he couldn't be that invested.

Could he?

*

"How was your night?"

I froze at the bottom of the stairs to see my mom with her arms crossed, glaring at me.

"It must've been important," she continued, her brow furrowing. "To make you stay out all night. Now, what is it that kept you away for so long?"

The best lies are based on the truth, I reminded myself.

"I'm sorry," I told her. "I fell asleep on the beach. I should've set an alarm, but I forgot."

My mom's blue eyes mirrored my own. Her brown hair was in a messy bun, and she wore a red sundress. I thought she'd be mad, but instead her pursed lips formed into a smile.

"You know, Leah told me James was missing all night as well," she grinned slyly. "You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

I didn't say anything. I was sure the blush on my face told her what she needed to know. I waited for the anger, readied her sharp words to chastise me yet again, but her face broke into a huge grin.

"Augustine, I wish you would've told me where you went, but it's wonderful you spent some time with him! What did you think? What happened? Tell me everything!"

That was the thing about my mother. She had no interest in my life unless it was about romantic endeavors. It drove me crazy, however I learned to give enough information to keep her satisfied, but not enough she knew exactly what was going on. It was frustrating, having the one thing I didn't want to speak of her only topic of conversation with me.

I sighed, James's face flashing through my mind again. "Mom, I don't know," I began. "He's great and all, but..."

"But what?" she asked. "You didn't reject him, did you?" Her face dropped as she realized. "Honey, did you reject him?"

I nodded, feeling my face fall. I knew it was the right decision, but it still hurt. My mom's grin faltered, until just a small smile remained.

"Augustine, I really thought you'd like him," she said. "If you want, we can invite just his family for dinner. You guys can patch things up."

"Mom, no," I replied. "I'll just leave things as they are. He didn't like me that much anyways."

"I'll invite them," my mom said, as if she didn't hear me. "I'd love to hangout with Leah and Bryan, and I know Aurora adores Miles. I'll text Leah now. I'm busy the next few nights, but after that would be perfect."

I rolled my eyes. My mom loved to do what she believed was in my best interest, but it was rarely the right decision for me. I turned and walked out of the kitchen, heading back to my room. I didn't have the energy to deal with my mother's personality at the moment.

I spent a couple days in my room, writing and watching movies. By the third day, I was tired of avoiding James. I needed some exercise, and a run around the beach would be perfect. There was a risk of seeing James, but as long as he didn't see me, it'd be fine. Before I could change my mind, I changed into a purple tank top and black running shorts. I slipped on my sneakers, braided my hair, grabbed my phone and headphones, and made my way out the door.

The midday heat hit my bare skin the moment I stepped outside. I had a playlist for running that held various artists to motivate me. I shuffled my playlist and Getaway Car blared into my head. I let the beats consume me as I began jogging along the sand. It was freeing, really. I loved how running was an escape to anything happening in my life. My feet hit the ground in rhythm, and I welcomed the muscle burn as I picked up my pace.

The beach was relatively occupied. Kids swam while their parents cheered them on. A group of girls played soccer, while some young boys built sandcastles. I smiled, remembering the fun I had building sandcastles when I was little.

I'll add it to my summer bucket list, I thought. It'd be fun to do that again.

When Inez and I were younger, her parents would take us to the beach for the entire day. We'd jump in tide pools, let the waves knock us into the water, and build sandcastles with moats that led straight to the ocean. We'd collect shells to decorate our masterpieces. I had a framed photo of Inez and me at the beach, covered in sand, with her arm wrapped around my waist. Our eyes were lit up, and I held a small crab in my hands, no doubt one we collected to put in our castle moat. Inez was my everything, until she decided I was no longer an asset to her life.

I sped up my pace, pushing out memories of Inez. There was no point thinking of her and making myself sadder. More importantly, our dinner with James's family was tonight and I needed to prepare. If needed, I'd resort to talking with his brother Miles the entire time. Or I could hangout with Aurora. My mom had been dropping hints about me "making up" with James. My dad responded with "She doesn't need to date until she's older."

They spent a few minutes debating my dating life (as if I had one), without asking me what I thought about anything. Personally, I tried to forget how awkward it'd be when our families got together.

I found myself sprinting along the hot, red sand. My feet thudded against the ground and the burn in my legs amplified. I was running too fast, but I didn't care. When my body could no longer take it, my legs gave out and I collapsed onto the ground in a sweaty, exhausted mess. My black headphones fell into the sand, and I grabbed them quickly.

I glanced around the beach, hoping no one had seen my embarrassing fall. I had done this before, where I ran so fast it made me collapse. It was probably due to my lack of athleticism. Thankfully, most people on the beach seemed to be interested in their own doings. I stood up as the hot sand stung my legs. Looking ahead of me, I saw and older woman close by sending me a small smile.

"Whatever you're going through, hurting yourself won't help in the long term," she said, almost in a whisper. I stood in shock, wondering how I heard each syllable when she was at least fifteen yards away. She had long brown hair with strands of grey, and a pale sundress decorated in flowers. I watched in awe as she slowly turned away from me and began walking along the beach.

I tore my gaze from her and watched the waves crash against the shore. The wind was particularly strong today, drawing bigger waves than usual. I tried to let go of my thoughts, but my mind was scattered with memories of Inez and my nervousness of seeing James that night.

Hold on.

Closer to the waves, a boy lay on a beach towel reading a book. His messy brown hair blew in the wind as he turned a page of his novel, smiling softly. I caught sight of his two dimples and my heart melted a little bit. James seemed...content. I sat back on the sand and watched him, memorizing each of his movements. I wanted to leave, but something drew me to him. No guy before him had ever captured my attention, but James had me spellbound.

"Staring at him is no good. He'll never notice. Go talk to him."

I turned to my right to see a boy standing next to me with a football in his hand. He sent me a grin and gestured to the sand.

"May I?" he asked.

"Um, I guess," I answered.

He plopped down beside me and tossed the football while he spoke. He had sandy blond hair that fluffed in the wind and blue swim shorts with small flamingos on them. Shirtless suited him nicely; he was handsome and had a nice set of abs. He probably had girls falling at his feet with looks like that. I didn't classify him as my type, but he was cute, nonetheless.

"So," he winked at me. "Whatcha doing staring at that dreamboat?" His blue eyes sparkled at me before nodding in the direction of James.

"Oh, nothing. It doesn't matter," I told him, ignoring the blush creeping across my face.

"Bullshit, you looked at him like you're both straight out of a dumb rom com," he laughed. "What's the deal? You like him?"

I turned so my body faced his. He had confidence, that was obvious. He had quite the charm and seemed genuinely interested in my status with James.

"I just met you; why would I tell you?" I asked, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

He sighed and laid back on the sand, showing off his extremely toned abs. He sent me another grin.

"Like it or not, you and I are about to become best friends. And I'm going to help you get your guy."

I tried not to smile at the weird guy who sat himself up and raised his eyebrows in James's direction.

"That's okay," I told him. "I'm not interested."

"Your mouth is saying that," he grinned. "But the sex-eyes I saw you giving him are saying something else. See you around, girlie." He stood up and brushed the sand off him as I attempted to wrap my head around why he cared to talk to me. He turned to leave, taking off down the beach and joining a group of teenagers who seemed equally as interested in throwing a football as he did. I watched them play for a bit, laughing at the rowdiness of some of them.

I stayed on the beach for a while longer, until my sweat made sand stick to me in uncomfortable places. I stood up and brushed myself off, shaking the sand out of my hair. Stealing one last glance at James, I headed back to the cottage, replaying the strange encounter with Miles in my head and wondering why he was so familiar.

*

A knock at the door drew me from my thoughts. I stared at myself in my bedroom mirror and grimaced. My lavender sundress wasn't my favourite, but my mom insisted it was cute, so I left it at that. I didn't bother paying attention to my hair, letting it flow across my shoulders in a mess of curls. I didn't want to face James, but I had no other choice. As I fixed my dress in the mirror, I tried to figure out why seeing him made me nervous. I had rejected guys before; it wasn't a big deal. But something about James made me want to keep talking to him, listen to him as he told me every star, and hold his hand again.

"Augustine, c'mon down!" I heard my mom yell. "James is here!"

I rolled my eyes at her insinuation and headed downstairs. Entering the living room, I saw Leah and Byran laughing at something my mom said, James looking down with his hands in his pockets and...Miles?

I froze as my jaw dropped.

Miles is James's brother? I thought. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed before. The resemblance in the face shape, the eyes, the smirk.

Miles caught me gaping at him and chuckled, capturing the attention of the adults. Leah beamed at me.

"Augustine, you look beautiful!" she gushed. Her green eyes lit up and squished me into a hug. I could see Miles trying not to laugh behind her back and I glared at him while my mom and Bryan smiled at us.

"Let's go find Charles," my mom said to Leah and Bryan, gesturing towards my dad's office. I sent my mom warning eyes to not leave us alone, but she only winked at me in return.

I avoided James's eyes, ignoring the adorable suit he wore, and instead grabbed Miles's hand, dragging him out of the living room.

"Woah, woah," Miles exclaimed, trying to pull away. "You're cute and everything, but you're stealing the wrong guy to be alone with."

I dropped his hand as we stood in the hallway. He wore a white dress shirt with the top unbuttoned and his hair was messier than mine. His style was the opposite of his brother's put-together look.

I glared at Miles before speaking. "Seriously?" I whisper-yelled. "You didn't bother to tell me James is your brother?"

Miles grinned at my anger. "Don't worry about James, I gotchu. I'll set you two up and you'll be having sex in no time."

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" I snapped, slapping his arm. "Just answer me. Why didn't you tell me you're his brother"

Miles ran his hand through his blond hair. "I don't know," he said. "I just want you to make up with James." He looked me in the eyes as his smile left.

"You know what happened?" I asked him.

"He didn't need to tell me. He came home all excited about this girl, then after spending the night on the beach he got all quite and moody. It doesn't take a genius to figure out you rejected him."

"Ugh, I'm so sorry," I told him. "I got scared and ran away. I have no idea what I'm doing. If it helps, I completely regret it."

"I'm not the one you need to say that to," he smiled softly. He turned to leave, but I pulled him back.

"Wait," I said. "How did you know it was me on the beach? How did you know I wasn't some random girl?"

He grinned, clearly back to his old self. "You're as pretty as James described you." With that, he winked at me and walked back to the living room.

I followed, letting his words replay in my head. James looked up at the sound of our footsteps, his eyes connecting with mine the moment I entered the room.

You're as pretty as James described you.

"Auggie!" my sister yelled, running into the room and launching herself into my arms. I caught her, swinging her around.

"How are you, princess?" I asked her, setting her back on the ground.

"I'm great, look at my dress!" She gestured to her light blue dress that puffed out after the waist, giving her a princess-type look. I smiled at my baby sister.

"You look fantastic," I told her honestly.

"You really do," said a voice across the room. I turned my head to see James looking at me, his soft eyes breaking my heart.

Is he talking about me?

I cleared my throat, thinking of how to fill the awkward silence in the room.

"Kids, dinner!" my mom called, saving me from making conversation with the boy I rejected. Or his weird brother who wanted to be best friends.

"I wanna sit next to James!" Aurora declared.

"I'd be honoured," James replied, sending her a grin.

"You can sit on my other side, Auggie," she told me as we entered the kitchen.

Mom had really outdone herself. She had roasted a chicken, filling the room with a delicious aroma. There were piles of mashed potatoes, two bowls of salad, lots of vegetables, and a small pot of gravy. My mouth watered at the sight. I loved that my mom loved cooking.

"Oh Francine, this looks incredible!" Leah announced.

"Not bad," my dad mumbled, his brown hair covering his eyes.

I saw a flash of disappointment in my mom's eyes, but it was quickly replaced with a smile. We sat down and helped ourselves to the steaming piles of food.

I let the adults chatter, not bothering to offer my opinions to their conversations. Miles kept nudging me from my left side, while Aurora talked James's ear off on my right. He didn't seem to mind, nodding and smiling at her comments. He occasionally would say something but let her talk for the most part.

"Can you call me Rory?" my sister asked James.

He smiled at her, his dimples appearing.

"Of course I can, Rory," he told her.

She giggled in delight, reaching over to give James a hug. Aurora didn't usually take a liking to people so quickly, but James seemed to have captured her heart.

She's not the only one.

James glanced up at me during Aurora's story about wanting to be a mermaid. We locked eyes and shared a small smile over my sister's head. His eyes questioned mine and I sighed.

I'm sorry, I mouthed.

It's okay, he mouthed back, the shy smile remaining on his face.

Miles nudged me and winked once I looked at him. I pinched his thigh in returned at he yelped, drawing attention from the adults in the room.

"You okay, son?" Bryan asked him.

"Yep," he replied, sending me a glare.

I hid my cough with a laugh and winked at Miles.

A chime coming from James's way caught my attention. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, and I saw his eyes widen in surprise.

"Excuse me," he said, getting out of his chair. "I'm just going to the bathroom; I'll be right back."

"Of course, sweetie," my mom said to him. "It's just down the hall to the left."

James headed out the dining room clutching his phone. I looked at Miles to see if he knew anything, but he shook his head and sighed. Whatever text James had received, it couldn't be anything good...